每次想及那傢伙，他心裡難免生恨。可是恨不了多久，恨意自然而然會被無奈與無力取代，彷彿不曾生起。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xYPWhyEKb
輕嘆一聲。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIlVikB4om
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdrKmknE3G
媽媽的身影忽地浮現腦海。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmv529fotsG
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlGs73QzHq
她是個不起眼的女人，普通得他早已忘記那張臉。只記得她怕熱，喜在夏日穿寬鬆短褲散熱，露出一雙細長白腿。他常趁著媽媽在露台忙於晾衫時，從後環抱她的大腿，把滾燙前額緊貼被清風吹得微微發涼的幼滑皮膚上。嘻，消暑妙法。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6YAawYihL
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JoDGtXndp
以為這做法可以持續至小學畢業，或是直到他世故成熟得無法繼續假裝天真。誰料媽媽突然拋下一句「感情變淡」，離家出走。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRVpCfkpop
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr85Jmybebx
他反覆思考何謂「感情變淡」。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4ddbVo25R
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwAy3IDTYf
茫無頭緒，直至那傢伙有意無意向他指出重點：變。「感情」，對媽媽毫不重要，否則她不會狠心如此；「淡」是相對而非絕對，若無經歷過對立的「濃」，「淡」其實不是問題；由濃轉淡的過程稱為「變」，也就是問題癥結所在。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5WdeoBE4d
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdqWw0JNGx
為何會變？如何變？可否不變？438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3O4HORepK
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQbAtwEBDU
他百思不得其解。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzHS6bMZZb
再聲輕嘆。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfHr3f2Dn9
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkQDoQIMeJ
阿杰的身影忽地浮現腦海。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4PjbTIT1B
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3tab4mJb0
舊同學聚會裡，他和阿杰並肩而坐。昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑，努力尋找共同話題。阿杰唇邊盡是紅酒遊艇名錶，他只記顧商場即將在週末舉行的購物優惠日——妻子叮囑他務必買下保濕精華和優惠裝尿片。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtSK64p4Fn
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6T2rx2zCV
真懷念往時。他與阿杰一起為那些不值一哂的天大課題感到煩惱：學業、夢想、籃球、愛情、人生規劃……後來那傢伙教曉他——一切變幻莫測，根本不由自主。無力與無奈令他深深體會自身的無能。他妒忌，妒忌阿杰仍在那個未醒的夢裡。阿杰察覺到他的妒意，露出一個輕蔑笑容。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZjThdOQiB
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1VkfHWoVw
昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑，不再努力尋找共同話題。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZtY3LTXd8
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJiYlQ12ip
緣起緣滅，不由自主。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuNFsdVxOq
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBLoGIhG84
既要緣滅，何必緣起？438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwU96G8sYre
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcETz5vvFUW
他百思不得其解。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5Kb9TVhqS
輕嘆有三。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtQ6Wmm5N2
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQI6rVugyvm
自己的身影忽地浮現腦海。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4FSBQUpLK
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwqLNWcHH4
身影有前無後。難怪，少有留意自己的背。妻子笑說他背部有七痣，像北斗，可導航。他苦笑，笑自己人生無方向。因為自己看不見北斗？只好抬頭望天。天無星，難打卦。無卦，有掛，掛心的掛。掛甚麼？不知道，總覺得人生缺失了甚麼。甚麼甚麼？不知道，難以言明。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlZYld3YRG
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OifpLYsi9
鬱悶。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmHuniH4ky
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzlxAE8kNT
懷念媽媽的腿，想要抱抱。懷念阿杰手中的籃球，想要奪走。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wdLCxSNxe
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNc3crYkmXm
去抱！去奪！438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QQahI15PR
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLJqmWySqR
抱甚麼？腿已不在。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmP9VWfN7o
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fxWyCd931
奪甚麼？球已不在。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4fdOyaVDB
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQO1rHYNtIg
為何不在？為何統統不在？438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmzlLJp2lk
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82ChEP0Mig
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94dRVKiiVM
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSui65yXAX
停下來！438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScQxgPmBml
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhcc92ysOP
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgB5kMKACw0
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVSqOWyc89
慢下來！438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcJf7LSAwY
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7endJcdj4A
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiOgUpi2rc
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2txWytthz
他只得拼命追趕。走馬看不見花，花開花落馬不知。馬累馬停，他累他停。回頭一望，是天不是地。何時開始背朝天？不肯定，許是拼命追趕期間、忘記自身當刻。竭力抬頭，盡力挺身。不果，只得餘生躬背望地，無法望背望星。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nifyo5zjb
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCudE5I2yIq
孫兒笑問他為何腰背變躬，他答背上擔子過重。孫兒受驚拒絕背負擔子，他說無法選擇，人人不由自主。孫兒再問何解不由自主，他道是變幻莫測之故。孫兒三問為何會變、如何變、可否不變？他答不出話來，淚目凝視孫兒。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTawCqJ19E
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNuiasPoCi
昔日的他，今日的孫。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8wh9cARbX
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJAaa56wco
永劫，輪迴。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRto32BVgRc
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHrSIg2Ccg
不敢思，不求解。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0j9eb9PPt
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWvXCsMFC1
嘆，嘆，嘆。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43jP8ED6QM
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYSeBYPgl0
孫兒問他是否有煩惱，願為他出謀解決。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8bBAbXdze
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJhCoWbRkb
他搖頭。438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznv4uyTEL8
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYejIkgKTgt
深知世人永遠無法解決那傢伙。
註：此篇會收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》第八十一章438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLodz8jagaa
438Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruLYiQXYOB
