以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。
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感謝參與～205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMmw4JrrZ7
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老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tUEXoFajJ
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9WkJWNqvV
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQY5z2ad1U
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmG9zFe2L4
～～～～分隔線～～～～205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dTH70FkZM
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYiKKMvKh8
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79s67RSMuG
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnTDJp8eBj
〈限制和自由〉205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2P5rcYj6n
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyPU2E8ApM
penana.com/article/1024895205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9UHHgMjtB
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnY6y6ROAri
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4kWjdiiKH
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9NULzpiHU
詩度 0。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgUMBs7imI
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYTxxaEAYU
～～～～分隔線～～～～205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNcKn2sLXi
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〈問〉205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSt0SBBucjl
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penana.com/article/1024944205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkur0MLFmk
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZB1E30H3m
詩度高一點。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQeO0lqnFs
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJ3OgpFLwP
～～～～分隔線～～～～205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFaMtFz31C
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhHVQIYSgt
〈摩天之輪〉205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMkPmHl7qu
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penana.com/article/1045705205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIv5L3lO1Aw
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詩度再高一點。
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoJ4kDHAI8
～～～～分隔線～～～～
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2gzjP7N6I
〈蝴蝶酥〉205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWE5XUdvMB
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6f1GY7PQY
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3NMIbUbLX
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejhvWyYDni
詩度比前三首都高。
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～～～～分隔線～～～～
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我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzI9DB6AuC
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhvmjjpYDZ
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBJmlvbwfi
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跟你分享。
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrdNkzRacY
～～～～分隔線～～～～
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmxITxaLgY
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18zdv1tyGx
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DhqzHEv63
【認識新詩的基本元素】205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaRx7BngEI
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHHUBBPzSo
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3aOT3Hvct
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmxvsORdpf
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMTtkSGS74
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【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJEFOsA8m9
這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ahDOn7PYC
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWoyRXyNHV
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAtNxm2JqR
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6i2gPTFhcX
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgnTpfSJQM
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【這次全新寫的感想】
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我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉作例子：
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〈詠栗〉
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcYExjcMug
殼斗，第一層愛
張牙舞爪威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
豐美的內在
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlCUuqMri1
剝去愛，尚有
木訥果皮和刻苦種皮
無口而全然
環抱整個子代
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFJfIMZ2JT
充盈在手中打開
當秋天到來
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205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrozwa2SEYW
如果寫成
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〈詠栗〉
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVY9PGTwYZ
殼斗，第一層皮
長滿尖刺威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
內在的果實
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8uOlSgXKa
剝去殼，尚有
木質果皮和苦味種皮
沒有裂口而且完全
包覆整個子葉
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栗子在手中打開
當秋天到來
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詩度就不見啦，成為一篇分行的散文，而且是說明文。
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1BBmUFtmC
會寫詩的讀者，可將自己詩裡的詩句 (＝變句)，換成一般常用的句子 (＝常句) 玩玩看；而苦惱於抓不到詩度的讀者，反其道而行，將自己作品的句子，改動幾個詞彙，以「一般不會這樣用」的語詞 (也可改變詞性) 代替，或可抓到一點詩的感覺。
205Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWZuDNhPNK
當然，現代詩的面向不僅在於詞彙，但這是一個開始。
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祝各位被詩淋透，不，淋得半濕就好。
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