以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58fiZja22y
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCmC4gJX5B
感謝參與～183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiskUhlFGtc
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6b5J5SNoD
老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtZd8B7RLq
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbiGpOfGZN
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCM4JfFv7pn
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEyAyCBMMC
～～～～分隔線～～～～183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2joM91CVT
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsA9HUfWyMO
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpRZtCUtBh
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlq46J1uitu
〈限制和自由〉183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnQosf76W2
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SELvEcrw9
penana.com/article/1024895183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuYgUOUY8W
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUokwunr0T
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHASErpl86
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5dJOm9hBt
詩度 0。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6Cb0ah7Cl
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVCrKZ1AKL
～～～～分隔線～～～～183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6FirXQpbY
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeZqh7jhRz
〈問〉183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvb82MM7pH
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUxrFBMOCI
penana.com/article/1024944183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHo8ecTRaTY
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJK33FSFvQ
詩度高一點。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNZydauBcS
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqcJFew1kL
～～～～分隔線～～～～183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyF4LQDW2XR
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR24XOIqIIC
〈摩天之輪〉183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNbjFNE7MA
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdADdbQTIVM
penana.com/article/1045705183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTouwyTlVik
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMynuSpBoBX
詩度再高一點。
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2F0uTnJfN
～～～～分隔線～～～～
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHblVpc5Ino
〈蝴蝶酥〉183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhHBfNsZu7
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9ArZT7ByD
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8a1Ko6xJ9W
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTHBs2k7A3
詩度比前三首都高。
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kwbcF0PNz
～～～～分隔線～～～～
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRgIA5atnJ
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiizf6VjljL
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJEsCAhGNn
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEUXWP3Urk
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaPAuhv5C3
跟你分享。
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fWeZUROmk
～～～～分隔線～～～～
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fk4tXFAzW
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MBBGtYnkD
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yxws2KtFx
【認識新詩的基本元素】183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgA5GJnwB53
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ACagwcsh2
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4sVJgrrJy
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMF3H8YEFl6
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV540BZ7Zqt
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yRI95BhRu
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2aLkgujHP
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ney8NAFSy
【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpcMkSL5bk
這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrJjpTtYEU
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcnTBaVgby
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fPl205h3F
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteOKBHvYtr
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kMnqR7OsX
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwLclDzNBe
【這次全新寫的感想】
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqNyoCGrnW
我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉作例子：
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RvWXjVubq
〈詠栗〉
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3wDtcnKuD
殼斗，第一層愛
張牙舞爪威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
豐美的內在
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPlPnQKlA0
剝去愛，尚有
木訥果皮和刻苦種皮
無口而全然
環抱整個子代
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTpK5EwcM2
充盈在手中打開
當秋天到來
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPXmYuXFyn
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRU8SjSgOFF
如果寫成
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzey1ukZqAR
〈詠栗〉
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiVqbWPlG2
殼斗，第一層皮
長滿尖刺威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
內在的果實
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWVrrdI7EP
剝去殼，尚有
木質果皮和苦味種皮
沒有裂口而且完全
包覆整個子葉
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NybQO1GCz
栗子在手中打開
當秋天到來
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtO97c9nKz
詩度就不見啦，成為一篇分行的散文，而且是說明文。
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwKgcoYaa1
會寫詩的讀者，可將自己詩裡的詩句 (＝變句)，換成一般常用的句子 (＝常句) 玩玩看；而苦惱於抓不到詩度的讀者，反其道而行，將自己作品的句子，改動幾個詞彙，以「一般不會這樣用」的語詞 (也可改變詞性) 代替，或可抓到一點詩的感覺。
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4gV0KBsPL
當然，現代詩的面向不僅在於詞彙，但這是一個開始。
183Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1EazquDAy
祝各位被詩淋透，不，淋得半濕就好。
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