以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLtmc6qmjw
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoHS1tp6Jr
感謝參與～165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgX9lx2GAnQ
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS73Ov0ifdC
老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7C0DwY9Xd
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMXI7fW4E6
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvwzLm4jdR
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSne0eUmJ6U
～～～～分隔線～～～～165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUU8D5slEM
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgHahGO8ZX
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWV1O67iuAN
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQBTLCogRB
〈限制和自由〉165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybKMkLuluu
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fXEkJabPS
penana.com/article/1024895165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqxboruOia
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeAwHNxbAs
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bawJpMvAD
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0U2goyStpS
詩度 0。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoORBOxpOs
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1t0AHeg2du
～～～～分隔線～～～～165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8H9facA2L
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhO86fyLg5
〈問〉165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEekqOrdDkK
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTrYFNNxcl
penana.com/article/1024944165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5RtIHf0gF
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJwCb69feI
詩度高一點。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbTw5PxnyL
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ09uUPI1ij
～～～～分隔線～～～～165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hiv5fDkFi
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaZsDBoIg3
〈摩天之輪〉165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclEWu2Ea2Z
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgfMPeXYY9
penana.com/article/1045705165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYvRqnQI5v
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDf8CYNrGy
詩度再高一點。
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWInYpJ7Du
～～～～分隔線～～～～
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyrCRSKslC
〈蝴蝶酥〉165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBZJdTfQ6b
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEBi74IA2W
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn67gqnrWdc
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05kmaAPUXx
詩度比前三首都高。
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KLchOxhfi
～～～～分隔線～～～～
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFwT499MM5
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDwXdUtpQMt
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXldPR1Pj95
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqldePjFWna
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHQeAOQkbk
跟你分享。
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsa00uy0n7
～～～～分隔線～～～～
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPuqHKbjuL
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9eljaWOWP
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncFhW3MW7n
【認識新詩的基本元素】165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3SjRTV4H1
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ypmseH4Mt
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoB23aGriRZ
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5t3LbxGusx
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQSlc3Ue4h
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCKXmaqmLO
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUnzEUJH4G
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmUU6eYloM
【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDAE2MaORl
這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbmgimdbkQ
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7YOiAE709
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6t6LP8mkoo
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhP5TdP7h6H
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtomU8sRUrH
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdsrktisHP
【這次全新寫的感想】
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXqChHrria
我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉作例子：
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0VnUSlalb
〈詠栗〉
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYE2rAsJoq
殼斗，第一層愛
張牙舞爪威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
豐美的內在
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCN3rdLKKE
剝去愛，尚有
木訥果皮和刻苦種皮
無口而全然
環抱整個子代
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5j99APzlO
充盈在手中打開
當秋天到來
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXd2PUVYZRT
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLR73TJLfGR
如果寫成
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXucVe75mNY
〈詠栗〉
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEw5v6BJBjE
殼斗，第一層皮
長滿尖刺威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
內在的果實
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTpbjtDaUI
剝去殼，尚有
木質果皮和苦味種皮
沒有裂口而且完全
包覆整個子葉
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk53TssBx3V
栗子在手中打開
當秋天到來
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7pnAYmXfJ
詩度就不見啦，成為一篇分行的散文，而且是說明文。
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98Wq11BgL9
會寫詩的讀者，可將自己詩裡的詩句 (＝變句)，換成一般常用的句子 (＝常句) 玩玩看；而苦惱於抓不到詩度的讀者，反其道而行，將自己作品的句子，改動幾個詞彙，以「一般不會這樣用」的語詞 (也可改變詞性) 代替，或可抓到一點詩的感覺。
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqdFBzG8nU
當然，現代詩的面向不僅在於詞彙，但這是一個開始。
165Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOvvErXpEs
祝各位被詩淋透，不，淋得半濕就好。
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