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INT. TATE MODERN, ST IVES - AFTERNOON
Stable shopkeeper DR GREGORY BUTTERSCOTCH is arguing with sweet housekeeper MASTER HARRY CHAN. GREGORY tries to hug HARRY but he shakes him off.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsd6R2QuIM
Please Harry, don't leave me.
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HARRY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCgGkvS2Ng
I'm sorry Gregory, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMkz9qHqu2
I am such a person!
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HARRY frowns.
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HARRY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKnqofOk7g
I'm sorry, Gregory. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
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HARRY leaves.
GREGORY sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, hopeful doctor MRS CHANTAL MALKOVICH barges in looking flustered.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnBt6l3Ctc
Goodness, Chantal! Is everything okay?
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SKOOvhY1O
I'm afraid not.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2iRgNPcJP
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXmI3xbHLl
It's ... an alien ... I saw an evil alien exterminate a bunch of swimmers!
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWE99stRV2V
Defenseless swimmers?
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXJdRfwWWS
Yes, defenseless swimmers!
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsS9Z5bLoU
Bloomin' heck, Chantal! We've got to do something.
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4V0ZmcsoAr
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNBHrc1m0N
You can start by telling me where this happened.
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEg9cpo64zD
I was...
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CHANTAL fans herself and begins to wheeze.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGd6IxV5C3
Focus Chantal, focus! Where did it happen?
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnw7Gvr7zF
National History Museum, London! That's right - National History Museum, London!
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GREGORY springs up and begins to run.
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EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
GREGORY rushes along the street, followed by CHANTAL. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
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INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - SHORTLY AFTER
SHARON PIGEON a spiteful alien terrorises two swimmers.
GREGORY, closely followed by CHANTAL, rushes towards SHARON, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyo1WxciVL
What is is? What's the matter?
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4C6VbkfyZI
That's not just any old alien, that's Sharon Pigeon!
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdLFcCX4ie
Who's Sharon Pigeon?
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPhGDxYXZQ
Who's Sharon Pigeon? Who's Sharon Pigeon? Only the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJPKoQGRSM
Blinkin' knickers, Gregory! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKGtERtnWc
You can say that again.
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywlnqC7sId
Blinkin' knickers, Gregory! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXdJ1yAvTy
I'm going to need ropes, lots of ropes.
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Sharon turns and sees Gregory and Chantal. She grins an evil grin.
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SHARON221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlVubU1y7V
Gregory Butterscotch, we meet again.
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ycMXbp6Cx
You've met?
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZ9tnD92o7
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
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EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young GREGORY is sitting in a park listening to some drum and bass music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees SHARON. He takes off his headphones.
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SHARON221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3ml9pozuU
Would you like some chocolate?
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GREGORY's eyes light up, but then he studies SHARON more closely, and looks uneasy.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yI7UiC6fX
I don't know, you look kind of spiteful.
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SHARON221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9nW5nRCN1
Me? No. I'm not spiteful. I'm the least spiteful alien in the world.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwQJDYekQB
Wait, you're a alien?
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GREGORY runs away, screaming.
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INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - PRESENT DAY
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SHARON221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9050aT67QR
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70IZ2i7ppK
(To GREGORY) You ran away?
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUxyfKNBnF
(To CHANTAL) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
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GREGORY turns to SHARON.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbVcOj6kRY
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
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GREGORY runs away.
He turns back and shouts.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5E1gPSzSas
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with ropes.
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SHARON221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfulOaZYFx
I'm not scared of you.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uu6UHzn6s
You should be.
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EXT. A LIBRARY - LATER THAT DAY
GREGORY and CHANTAL walk around searching for something.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcCEDQRrxd
I feel sure I left my ropes somewhere around here.
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7w8zW2bkW2
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly ropes.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAuz8sFzyq
You know nothing Chantal Malkovich.
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpN8aOBACqB
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
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Suddenly, SHARON appears, holding a pair of ropes.
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SHARON221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnX3GT30BYt
Looking for something?
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2VF2lS653
Crikey, Gregory, she's got your ropes.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxebszgnyz0
Tell me something I don't already know!
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MjvHhc2yE
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbO0gCM6Y4Q
I know that already!
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxkmAiXbIW
I pick my nose and eat it.
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SHARON221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rdfMEkcuV
(appalled) Dude!
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While SHARON is looking at CHANTAL with disgust, GREGORY lunges forward and grabs his deadly ropes. He wields them, triumphantly.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuMpI8Ps15
Prepare to die, you spiteful cauliflower!
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SHARON221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8n3PIWf6D
No please! All I did was exterminate a bunch of swimmers!
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HARRY enters, unseen by any of the others.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemhOQ5wCHP
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those swimmers were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Gregory Butterscotch defender of innocent swimmers.
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SHARON221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5f0ANQBVS
Don't hurt me! Please!
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVgo1y6EMt
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these ropes on you right away!
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SHARON221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTrUVr6pnn
Because Gregory, I am your mother.
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GREGORY looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqofJAuD2z
No you're not!
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SHARON221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdQP1BxXNi
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
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SHARON tries to grab the ropes but GREGORY dodges out of the way.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3d4eA4jYC
Who's the mummy now? Huh? Huh?
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Unexpectedly, SHARON slumps to the ground.
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJydlVxpMom
Did she just faint?
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJjXHqElLD
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly ropes.
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GREGORY crouches over SHARON's body.
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FzzgBDiNk
Be careful, Gregory. It could be a trick.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1j9cqEkntY
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Sharon Pigeon is dead!
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDlwjAFPb8
What?
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dZCb4zm9u
Yes, it appears that I scared her to death.
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CHANTAL claps her hands.
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CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfalOFw9Ws
So your ropes did save the day, after all.
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HARRY steps forward.
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HARRY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZ8dEfixMV
Is it true? Did you kill the spiteful alien?
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnurD66MLB
Harry how long have you been...?
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HARRY puts his arm around GREGORY.
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HARRY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CIBp1P4C7
Long enough.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJCYz1RQDh
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Sharon Pigeon.
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HARRY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9esCpJvsuP
Then the swimmers are safe?
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0QToKt3CD
It does seem that way!
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A crowd of vulnerable swimmers enter, looking relived.
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HARRY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPDZX9jByC
You are their hero.
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The swimmers bow to GREGORY.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxuFbxGtnM
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Sharon Pigeon will never exterminate swimmers ever again, is enough for me.
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HARRY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8Lf2ktJUM
You are humble as well as brave!
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One of the swimmers passes GREGORY a magic ring
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HARRY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2im9lB26Ne
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2W8wqHkbz
I couldn't possibly.
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Pause.
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GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25J2uUz6q1
Well, if you insist.
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oC7QrvxnW
GREGORY takes the ring.
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSKap8zS6o
GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsCYdkdBel
Thank you.
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFM4UxHLgjt
The swimmers bow their heads once more, and leave.
GREGORY turns to HARRY.
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTOR8hIgC9
GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwPTXW20XV
Does this mean you want me back?
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjWKg2FDON
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGEN4MKwrk
HARRY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxvlSDV9IM
Oh, Gregory, of course I want you back!
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3bbYpjGMN
GREGORY smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiABVYrhSgc
GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5xtdmRF4A
Well you can't have me.
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpzuRnWDlE
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliJdthgJ7T
HARRY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SNV5AzZCm
WHAT?
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSozNuEw61
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4T9FE43ZPY
GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEJkbTqGPK
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a alien to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabvzaWhXPI
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZXSlELNwr
HARRY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxx2lvMLQz
But...
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwUFhqMb8K
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdUlVFqs0F
GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YKpkIqh5w
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Chantal.
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVYIRQUUYv
CHANTAL grins.
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JmNP2gGQh
HARRY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKeQWdLwPG
But...
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrufRjnREsw
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KWwVdgrZk
CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42v6uuQtTL
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtU3MMmNdy
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCIPwaZCx7
HARRY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1or7Auq5Pn
Gregory?
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hWDiVfyaL
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTPBSXQ5cj
GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGiH59KDC7
I'm sorry Harry, but I think you should skidaddle.
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UQUoXd6NH
HARRY leaves.
CHANTAL turns to GREGORY.
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAh7DCAV3Dj
CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzlJQjZ1nb
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ctRGtRgPF
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAB2pw1jRF
GREGORY221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMItHmGX5uo
Of course you are!
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5Kse3gLjj
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly CHANTAL stops.
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5LeOkgLLr
CHANTAL221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0VY7Myr8e
When I said I pick my nose and eat it, you know I was just trying to distract the alien don't you?
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmubyfOv4MS
221Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEf4UNa6ki
THE END
ns216.73.216.11da2
