x
I'd been on edge since Fajr.
When the email came in last night, I thought it was a mistake. A glitch in the scheduling system. An error someone in HR would correct by morning.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92GEOFSfrw
But then the revised weekly schedule hit my inbox a few minutes later. Every meeting with Imran—gone.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUnBPY54GR
Replaced with joint sessions, team strategy reviews, and onboarding syncs... all with Lamija Begović.
I stared at my calendar for a full five minutes, just waiting for it to shift back.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWDvanPPok
It didn't.
I prayed Fajr at the masjid near my apartment, the one with peeling blue paint and a heater that hummed too loudly.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaAlCqOEwK
I needed the quiet. I needed the grounding.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YPenAYoOE
I tried to focus during sujood, whispered du'a between breaths.
Ya Allah... make me enough.
On the drive to the office, I didn't play Qur'an like usual.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJjkJjfs4c
Just silence.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3wCuLeh3e
Sarajevo was still half-asleep, the city bathed in that cold, pre-sunlight stillness.
Zehira texted me just before I pulled into the lot:
Zehira: Good luck, ljubavi. You'll be brilliant.
It almost made me smile.
Even her mother knew what a difficult woman she'd raised.
I should've gone upstairs.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBqRaqJisd
Should've taken the elevator straight to the top floor and stepped into whatever version of hell this week would be.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZl2GM6wU2
But instead, I turned left.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3fYU0Rws1
Down to the garage level.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0Z9VR4feA
To the drivers' lounge.
The room was empty, but warm.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74g3nTEl8U
It smelled like diesel and stale coffee and those cheap Bosnian cigarettes my father used to chain-smoke.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlTlvkMI8q
I closed the door gently behind me and leaned against it.
This place had barely changed.
Same cracked leather couches.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HRTTCQgPe
Same humming vending machine.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQPngt8VEP
Same half-faded poster about snow chain protocols.
I walked over to the corner where the lockers used to be.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7i5b2hq26u
My father's would've been three from the end.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSmDc28ZBD
He used to let me sit in his truck while he checked in with dispatch.
That's where I first saw her.
Lamija was fourteen.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Xi4E4crNa
Bright scarf knotted under her chin.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxt9Aep41b
Boots too clean for the garage.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeTrQ30qOz
She walked in with a box of new company merch to hand out to the drivers—hats, hoodies, branded mugs.
I was gone the moment I saw her.
She handed a jacket to my father.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRWeRgDw9z
Then looked at me.
"You're Ibrahim's boy?" she asked.
I nodded, ears burning.
The cap she put on my head was comically big.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNAbkNNofi
I could barely see past the brim.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAy8fh2Aya
She grinned anyway.
"Looks good on you."
My father chuckled as she walked away.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46Klpyaqce
"Little boss got good taste," he said, ruffling my hair.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqgly8BrNP
"Careful, Ayub. That one's trouble."
I still have that cap.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1KrXAKJdi
Buried in a box in the back of my closet.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtrT5vGek7
Never wore it again, but I couldn't bring myself to throw it away.
My father died a few months later.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGZ5vco6dB
Rain-slick road. A sharp turn just past Visoko.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwJ2qoToJd
They found the truck wrapped around a concrete barrier.
I still remember the knock on the door.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3mkSARmVW
The way my mother cried without sound.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrVkvZE4Tr
The way she remarried four months later like my father was a chapter she could close and shelve.
Her new husband didn't want baggage.
I was the baggage.
She left me with my uncle, a man who only tolerated me because he shared a last name with my father. The house was cold even when the heaters were on. I ate alone. Slept with the door locked. Did laundry by hand because no one thought to show me the machine.
Zehira Begović started asking around.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSJLYgH4Mi
In the masjids.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwS8j2TMCsL
At the community center.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dKk0tkwZd
Where is Ibrahim's son? Who has him?
She showed up at my uncle's door like a storm in a silk hijab.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVms18nblV
I still remember the way she pushed past him without waiting for permission.
"Get your things, Ayub. You're coming with me."
And just like that, I did.
I was sixteen when I moved into the Begović house.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJIcVAvn36
I stayed for two years.
Imran took me in like a brother.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQQhklIUgP
But what their parents gave me—that was something else entirely.
They gave me status.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fIXlHquN3
Access.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZQvXWDo3A
An education I never dreamed of affording.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDAMGlGQzZ
Tutors. Travel.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrnWCJgaJo
A desk in the corner of the estate library stocked with everything I needed.
They treated me like a son—not just with warmth, but with investment.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDR6IoaQRIh
The kind you pour into a future you believe in.
Even now, they're the closest thing I have to parents.
And Lamija...
Lamija was fire and gravity and sharpness in human form.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuOGzmccdp
I learned quickly to keep my distance.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgB2GJJPItg
To look, but not linger.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScO2L7ST0K
To admire quietly and never, ever want too much.
I sat down on the old couch near the window.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7tfXxFL9C
Closed my eyes.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWy0RkI3YN
Spoke softly into the space like I used to do when I was a boy sitting in the truck.
"Babo... they want me to work under her now."
I swallowed.
"She's not that little girl anymore. She runs an entire division.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgh5y8HZgC
And I'm terrified — not of the work, but of falling short of the man they believe I am.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfKXALX84G
The one she expects."
The silence pressed against my chest.
"I miss you."
I sat there a little longer, until my throat stopped burning.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnugWUJkjhQ
Then I pulled my shoulders back and headed for the elevator.
The executive floor was mostly dark when I arrived.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSzQQO48VA
No chatter. No phones ringing.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpE4saZRWP
Just the soft hum of the lights and the faint click of my own shoes.
Everyone knew Imran started early.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwB8F5xTrpp
Too early.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAmDpCtsXx
He was probably already in his office, sipping bitter coffee and reviewing shipping reports.
I wasn't ready to face him yet.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gQ2AkgHP0
Not until I figured out how to say it without sounding like a coward.
My new desk was in the operations wing—closer to Lamija's glass-encased office.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yNQJ76lAd
Front row seats to the storm.
I dropped my bag onto the desk and pulled out my tablet.
The welcome packet was already open—color-coded folders, division performance graphs, open contracts.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XJ8PhCQFf
She was nothing if not thorough.
There was a note at the bottom of one file:
Review before the 10am sync. Come prepared. –L.B.
Short. Sharp. Efficient.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0oNkacsrf
Pure Lamija.
I opened the file.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrWiNzN99Z
My stomach knotted.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPf2aoHJWJ
Not because I couldn't do it—but because I'd spent years trying to keep my distance.
And now I was being asked to stand beside her, hold my own, and pretend I wasn't still the boy who remembered the way she said,14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡya1WtNKChp
"Looks good on you."
I stared at the screen until the lines blurred.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQqYQVV6ln
Then I stood. Slowly. Quietly.
And turned down the hall toward Imran's office.
I didn't knock.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RyfpIMPdo
Not yet.
I just stood outside the door—14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBKa9OuHtc
trying to figure out how to ask the one question I already knew he wouldn't want to answer.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Notes from Ash&Olive:
So. We met Ayub.
He prays, he panics, he trauma-bonds with diesel fumes.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBp0jL9F18
Very on brand for someone who's about to work under a woman who could shatter him with a sentence and then move on with her day.
Is he emotionally prepared for this transition?14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DuDBUvhx8
No.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OUNOECUiF
Did he try to spiritually process it before opening an Excel sheet?14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNs8Z2o3fJg
Absolutely.
He's doing his best.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIM3cJonT3s
Unfortunately, his best is now being measured against Lamija Begović at 10am sharp.
Pray for him. Again.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrMZcJiqxj
Or better yet—leave a comment telling me who you think is going to break first.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRU6rhZPT4
(It's fine. I already know. I just want to see where your loyalties lie.)
14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cqhW3m4Xs
