這種劇情發展怎麼跟日本毒撚動漫十分相似，突然有個陌生女子在家中出現，然後同居。這種既異想天開又陳腔濫調的劇情，連我在講故台看到都會唾棄。若是毒撚甚至是一般男生絕對會點首答允，這樁美事發生十個男生九個都嚮往，剩下一個應該是同性戀。不好意思，我是第十一個。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkzL9Dj82J
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8acw8HX4eY
作為一名A0毒撚當然想盡快交女朋友擺脫這個稱號，但論到同居我絕不同意。先撇開她是一個不知從何而來的陌生人，與女生同居這種事沒你想像中那麼美好。為何我知道?全因我之前與家姐同住十幾年，徹底了解與女生這種生物在同一屋簷下是甚麼狀況。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfILIaKDCN
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJMK0LibdZ
女生與你老媽不同，她們不是照顧你忍讓你的角色，早上搶洗手間，晚上搶電視，半夜在床上與男朋友講電話使你無法入睡，還沒算上其他破壞形象的行為。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJ2xioWDpK
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoNs6vpOhH
可能你會說家姐是有血緣關係無法與其他女生相提並論，起初我也是這樣以為，但實際例子往往是最好的論證。有一年暑假，家姐的同學來了我家住了幾星期。家姐的同學長得非常可愛，但這個印象僅維持了幾天，往後的日子仿如多了另一位家姐一樣，我平日遇到的痛苦乘以雙倍。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdj79aUdw0D
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOqWADeTUi
因此我對與女生同居一事只有一個看法，女生的形象率先崩壞，然後你的生活亦隨之崩壞。可能是我太偏激，抑或是我對上述女生本身沒有多餘的遐想。即使今天要與我同居的女生是岑月寧，我還是會拒絕，我怕會破壞她在我心目中的形象。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF26AEdCazA
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZc3RGbNVp
「你傻架?你話係度住我就會俾你住架啦?就算我肯，我老母都唔肯啦。」我將老媽二字搬出來。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bp1rfewWx
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknvikCZogU
「即係你阿媽肯俾我係度住，你就肯?」她抓我說話的漏洞。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAty9NNfXF
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XAm4ISxHa
我心裡想著老媽怎麼可能答允，我就放長雙眼看她怎麼垂頭喪氣的離開。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHdGGyomRG
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeKUzVohwp
「睇下我老母點應你囉。」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLLXOx8xf5
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSofaICueYU
我跟她說老媽在上班，要十二點才回來，讓她在客廳等。我趕緊換回衣服，然後自顧的走到廚房從櫃中拿出杯麵，打開杯麵提起熱水壺倒水進去。我提著杯麵進房間，打算邊吃邊看伍公子的公子玩walking dead。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiChhBiz4TN
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0862oVfSS
想不到她跟著我進房間，我回頭望向她，只見她望著我手上的杯麵嚥口水…270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRC1YfDtX00
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTxg2hi8GD
「又點啊?想食啊?」我問。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GoqublibN
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQ3FZxupjx
她按著肚輕輕點頭。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSynYwYijS
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KzuMLNn2t
「又話自己係仙子，乜仙子會肚餓架咩?」我嘲諷著說。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6QNNhcBsY
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjtEjDgRfp
「唔食咪唔食囉，好叻咩!」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEdb2KyUQ6
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZgjSCkM5x
想不到她是如此倔強，我沒理會她繼續享用杯麵及公子玩。吃完後打算扔垃圾走出房間時，發現她坐在沙發一邊按著肚一邊怒視著我。她的眼神兇悍得猶如我是她仇人一樣，我怕了她，把垃圾扔掉後，便從櫃子裡拿出另一個杯麵，還注滿熱水送到她面前。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3PtpPnFW0
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5WpfuJZSP
「嗱，食啦，廢事你好似隻餓鬼咁啤實我。」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUxs2BD59j
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1eApMjPxA
「邊個話我肚餓。」她口嫌體正直，雙手已經捧著杯麵。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKqFffWa8P
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOOYnL120b
看著她這種反差意外地帶點可愛。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeQpohCsIi
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqfYnPLqeh
她打開杯麵用鼻吸了一口問:270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbPlBNFLee
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfZpnmDQrY
「辣架?」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4M9KP2Uqh
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLGuavdpBC
我家的杯麵一向由我包辦，而我只會吃合味道的香辣海鮮味，要在我家找到別的口味是不可能的。我看她神情驟變便說:270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVeL4WWIcX
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyI3Q0q3jvc
「唔食得辣啊?咁唔好食囉。」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHoa85txKY8
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6giAh3AruM
她聽到後反而大口的把麵條吸入，看她吃得滿頭大汗就覺得有點好笑。這種杯麵的辣連譚仔十小辣都不如，居然有人會吃到出汗。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1tQybnpSl
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OpPaNAQWv
我看她雙唇變得紅彤微腫，便倒了杯水給她，她接過水杯說:270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVvRsT6jtw
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7YjzVC0Gq
「唔該。」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfU154mI2iz
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrUTPu2Shd
「唔駛，我唔該你就真，俾我發現原來有人咁渣，連合味道嘅辣都頂唔住。」我笑著說。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvoVKZqSOC
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ572pJP6TLP
「好好笑咩!?」她突然怒吼。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmM1EmTuRO
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhFYi5TEUs
我被她的神情嚇一跳，收起了嬉笑的嘴臉…270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡys7aSjiBPX
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUet319kPSF
「你咁嘅態度對女仔，睇死你一定冇女朋友啦。」她噴出一句。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZKcwqzqdd
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1rui6Fe9a
她這一句完全是我的致命傷，我不知如何反駁。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBdQFNHxrT
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAXuXFZflo
「唔出聲即係我講中啦。」她接連的攻勢讓我快招架不住。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJA1UwqssXS
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHmhPAFa3a
被她說穿事實，我無法裝腔作勢…270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡReLAnrcn9Z
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxAvodP8El
「係啦係啦，你啱晒啦得未，我無拍過拖就係原罪，你地有拖拍嘅咪即管笑囉!」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4lEduKKAJ
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigdcFIF64s
我突然想起今早韓信他們也攻擊我這一點，說完我垂頭回到房間裡再沒跟她講話。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNeR8Te33E
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7dLH3gZrO
尷尬的氣氛維持良久，直到聽到開門聲，老媽終於回來…270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlFljQQW1y
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMMk1HbgBm
老媽回來便看到那位女生，問我:270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12M4uLzaIS
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPe93XivaY
「阿仔，呢位邊個嚟?」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7aas666pJ
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Wg4DdnHo4
「你問我?你不如問下你帶返嚟個茶…」我說到一半嘴巴一隻手被捂著。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQzJTilQDK
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjZ7iB3Bqf
是她阻止了我，然後她把我老媽拉到廚房小聲的密談，我站在客廳聽不到對話內容。片刻後她們出來，我老媽對著我說:270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJNtgIK1wG
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEkqORNtz9
「仔，之後曦…啊唔係，呢位茶小姐會係度住一排。」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiXXetucma
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKddSkOb5ie
WTF!?老媽你搞甚麼?居然會讓她住下來?270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6yJWGLv25
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe20Bx3DiiM
「吓!?點解啊?三唔識七點解要俾佢住?邊有咁多地方俾佢瞓?」我愕然的問。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNdSjAI0n8
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uJAS4F0Zk
「你咪理咁多啦，同埋你執返上格床啲野佢瞓返你家姐張床咪得囉。」老媽四兩撥千斤的化解我的問題。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1ebdV9O4R
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRl0NMQzHSy
現在同居還不夠，還要同房是嗎?我完全無法接受，顯然我的抗議無法撼動我老媽，我便抓了那女生到一旁…270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78AHMJzhmb
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmcjZYRUFJ
「喂!你好講做左啲咩搞到我老母咁順攤?」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dUgRekkAD
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmEZQq9SuY
「我都話左我係茶碗仙子，呢啲野難唔到我，係你唔信我咋嘛。」她囂張的道。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKo6R6IQ3WU
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AKClIf6m6
「仲有我唔係叫喂，叫我做茶小姐!」她接著說。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52Eplw7EGi
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbN6IBx4hJ
「茶你老…」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5umfxD67B7
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjvVi9V4gC
「阿仔，今晚你瞓廳啦，俾人地女仔瞓房啊，聽日返嚟要執好上格床啊。」老媽打斷我的同時下了不人道的命令。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDjzr4ZVO5
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYAT7uhefG
我不解為何要讓出我的床，怎麼說都應該是她睡在客廳吧…270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2IvxBWc1C
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ShiaaTZnV
「瞓廳啦你。」她擺出欠打的表情說。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQiYhzLknfI
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8aAoyraJnu
「你都痴線，我今晚老虎蟹都瞓房。」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYxcnjTXjt
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Af3kD58FV
我絕不退讓，可是強硬姿態敵不過她下一句…270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnQWnrFBUi
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6JR0978UG
「今晚想同我同床瞓啊?咸濕仔…」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbRlIj39mH
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVflshoQbZx
我不知道她是故意挑逗還是隨口說，換著別人恐怕早就把她吃掉，可是我在這方面是個廢物，面對這種事情就當機不懂反應，她看我呆掉便說:270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRyJdf06uh
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnpT1hKHc9
「你唔係真係想啊嘛?發夢啦你，同我死出廳瞓!」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJp3tXZ7gC
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oOdypVpU7
砰!房門大力關上，就這樣我與我的床相隔一道門，只好認命的睡在沙發。唉，我究竟做錯了甚麼落得如此下場，果然與女生同居就不會有好日子過…270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLS1gT7Gg2
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