這種劇情發展怎麼跟日本毒撚動漫十分相似,突然有個陌生女子在家中出現,然後同居。這種既異想天開又陳腔濫調的劇情,連我在講故台看到都會唾棄。若是毒撚甚至是一般男生絕對會點首答允,這樁美事發生十個男生九個都嚮往,剩下一個應該是同性戀。不好意思,我是第十一個。267Please respect copyright.PENANAWY1WFP7soh
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作為一名A0毒撚當然想盡快交女朋友擺脫這個稱號,但論到同居我絕不同意。先撇開她是一個不知從何而來的陌生人,與女生同居這種事沒你想像中那麼美好。為何我知道?全因我之前與家姐同住十幾年,徹底了解與女生這種生物在同一屋簷下是甚麼狀況。267Please respect copyright.PENANAFnxcfUANuK
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女生與你老媽不同,她們不是照顧你忍讓你的角色,早上搶洗手間,晚上搶電視,半夜在床上與男朋友講電話使你無法入睡,還沒算上其他破壞形象的行為。267Please respect copyright.PENANAXyuZgLrRKw
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可能你會說家姐是有血緣關係無法與其他女生相提並論,起初我也是這樣以為,但實際例子往往是最好的論證。有一年暑假,家姐的同學來了我家住了幾星期。家姐的同學長得非常可愛,但這個印象僅維持了幾天,往後的日子仿如多了另一位家姐一樣,我平日遇到的痛苦乘以雙倍。267Please respect copyright.PENANA8fusRO1uUj
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因此我對與女生同居一事只有一個看法,女生的形象率先崩壞,然後你的生活亦隨之崩壞。可能是我太偏激,抑或是我對上述女生本身沒有多餘的遐想。即使今天要與我同居的女生是岑月寧,我還是會拒絕,我怕會破壞她在我心目中的形象。267Please respect copyright.PENANAiqXx9dbAQD
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「你傻架?你話係度住我就會俾你住架啦?就算我肯,我老母都唔肯啦。」我將老媽二字搬出來。267Please respect copyright.PENANAbA3hceuIpN
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「即係你阿媽肯俾我係度住,你就肯?」她抓我說話的漏洞。267Please respect copyright.PENANA65L1NWGKRK
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我心裡想著老媽怎麼可能答允,我就放長雙眼看她怎麼垂頭喪氣的離開。267Please respect copyright.PENANATbCErJRhUn
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「睇下我老母點應你囉。」267Please respect copyright.PENANA1KxSO3KMAp
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我跟她說老媽在上班,要十二點才回來,讓她在客廳等。我趕緊換回衣服,然後自顧的走到廚房從櫃中拿出杯麵,打開杯麵提起熱水壺倒水進去。我提著杯麵進房間,打算邊吃邊看伍公子的公子玩walking dead。267Please respect copyright.PENANAyRpC9EppsL
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想不到她跟著我進房間,我回頭望向她,只見她望著我手上的杯麵嚥口水…267Please respect copyright.PENANAq2WNQNE08v
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「又點啊?想食啊?」我問。267Please respect copyright.PENANAtvl0O3G2O9
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她按著肚輕輕點頭。267Please respect copyright.PENANAbGOkyUCj71
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「又話自己係仙子,乜仙子會肚餓架咩?」我嘲諷著說。267Please respect copyright.PENANAjslId17sxH
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「唔食咪唔食囉,好叻咩!」267Please respect copyright.PENANATG6fBYO7C5
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想不到她是如此倔強,我沒理會她繼續享用杯麵及公子玩。吃完後打算扔垃圾走出房間時,發現她坐在沙發一邊按著肚一邊怒視著我。她的眼神兇悍得猶如我是她仇人一樣,我怕了她,把垃圾扔掉後,便從櫃子裡拿出另一個杯麵,還注滿熱水送到她面前。267Please respect copyright.PENANAxbx8o3M0u2
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「嗱,食啦,廢事你好似隻餓鬼咁啤實我。」267Please respect copyright.PENANAKipFhioSWb
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「邊個話我肚餓。」她口嫌體正直,雙手已經捧著杯麵。267Please respect copyright.PENANASla9SaWQDQ
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看著她這種反差意外地帶點可愛。267Please respect copyright.PENANAGEGKIf3glu
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她打開杯麵用鼻吸了一口問:267Please respect copyright.PENANA0honvnFs6V
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「辣架?」267Please respect copyright.PENANA0y67vOcOmg
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我家的杯麵一向由我包辦,而我只會吃合味道的香辣海鮮味,要在我家找到別的口味是不可能的。我看她神情驟變便說:267Please respect copyright.PENANAylZ8T7qT5n
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「唔食得辣啊?咁唔好食囉。」267Please respect copyright.PENANAwr2ZfTbVN8
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她聽到後反而大口的把麵條吸入,看她吃得滿頭大汗就覺得有點好笑。這種杯麵的辣連譚仔十小辣都不如,居然有人會吃到出汗。267Please respect copyright.PENANANQF20K0W8o
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我看她雙唇變得紅彤微腫,便倒了杯水給她,她接過水杯說:267Please respect copyright.PENANAReHPX5ygjp
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「唔該。」267Please respect copyright.PENANAO90Pq8syp3
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「唔駛,我唔該你就真,俾我發現原來有人咁渣,連合味道嘅辣都頂唔住。」我笑著說。267Please respect copyright.PENANAsvunTtbxBm
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「好好笑咩!?」她突然怒吼。267Please respect copyright.PENANAqh2R369pxI
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我被她的神情嚇一跳,收起了嬉笑的嘴臉…267Please respect copyright.PENANAig1s3RXJLQ
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「你咁嘅態度對女仔,睇死你一定冇女朋友啦。」她噴出一句。267Please respect copyright.PENANAU9SFG1Qy77
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她這一句完全是我的致命傷,我不知如何反駁。267Please respect copyright.PENANArmNc1QTuDm
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「唔出聲即係我講中啦。」她接連的攻勢讓我快招架不住。267Please respect copyright.PENANAdWw5mz6FjA
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被她說穿事實,我無法裝腔作勢…267Please respect copyright.PENANAZE3AMKTNPR
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「係啦係啦,你啱晒啦得未,我無拍過拖就係原罪,你地有拖拍嘅咪即管笑囉!」267Please respect copyright.PENANACls2E6k6BM
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我突然想起今早韓信他們也攻擊我這一點,說完我垂頭回到房間裡再沒跟她講話。267Please respect copyright.PENANA0nW6wy6nvx
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尷尬的氣氛維持良久,直到聽到開門聲,老媽終於回來…267Please respect copyright.PENANA80YKxw7RGG
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老媽回來便看到那位女生,問我:267Please respect copyright.PENANADwhsk21sdx
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「阿仔,呢位邊個嚟?」267Please respect copyright.PENANA2jId79Svvp
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「你問我?你不如問下你帶返嚟個茶…」我說到一半嘴巴一隻手被捂著。267Please respect copyright.PENANAfUHxVRYFFN
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是她阻止了我,然後她把我老媽拉到廚房小聲的密談,我站在客廳聽不到對話內容。片刻後她們出來,我老媽對著我說:267Please respect copyright.PENANA5NmTVvjf8O
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「仔,之後曦…啊唔係,呢位茶小姐會係度住一排。」267Please respect copyright.PENANA7nsL8Vosqa
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WTF!?老媽你搞甚麼?居然會讓她住下來?267Please respect copyright.PENANAnjSBD62EAX
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「吓!?點解啊?三唔識七點解要俾佢住?邊有咁多地方俾佢瞓?」我愕然的問。267Please respect copyright.PENANAEczd9AUoPJ
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「你咪理咁多啦,同埋你執返上格床啲野佢瞓返你家姐張床咪得囉。」老媽四兩撥千斤的化解我的問題。267Please respect copyright.PENANAdTwpjyQh6b
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現在同居還不夠,還要同房是嗎?我完全無法接受,顯然我的抗議無法撼動我老媽,我便抓了那女生到一旁…267Please respect copyright.PENANAVW7e6JuiBU
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「喂!你好講做左啲咩搞到我老母咁順攤?」267Please respect copyright.PENANAvh6enLWZA4
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「我都話左我係茶碗仙子,呢啲野難唔到我,係你唔信我咋嘛。」她囂張的道。267Please respect copyright.PENANAVAe8GgofVL
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「仲有我唔係叫喂,叫我做茶小姐!」她接著說。267Please respect copyright.PENANAjhAFCm51rh
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「茶你老…」267Please respect copyright.PENANAKbBjOAPUjb
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「阿仔,今晚你瞓廳啦,俾人地女仔瞓房啊,聽日返嚟要執好上格床啊。」老媽打斷我的同時下了不人道的命令。267Please respect copyright.PENANAq1c4cbh1kF
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我不解為何要讓出我的床,怎麼說都應該是她睡在客廳吧…267Please respect copyright.PENANAxx1VYtHCTh
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「瞓廳啦你。」她擺出欠打的表情說。267Please respect copyright.PENANAqXgMSgEmXZ
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「你都痴線,我今晚老虎蟹都瞓房。」267Please respect copyright.PENANAuw8hxFHAme
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我絕不退讓,可是強硬姿態敵不過她下一句…267Please respect copyright.PENANAK9t3QpoodG
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「今晚想同我同床瞓啊?咸濕仔…」267Please respect copyright.PENANAR1Z14sE8XC
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我不知道她是故意挑逗還是隨口說,換著別人恐怕早就把她吃掉,可是我在這方面是個廢物,面對這種事情就當機不懂反應,她看我呆掉便說:267Please respect copyright.PENANAbNRyT2rNOC
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「你唔係真係想啊嘛?發夢啦你,同我死出廳瞓!」267Please respect copyright.PENANACnxCQKoDxI
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砰!房門大力關上,就這樣我與我的床相隔一道門,只好認命的睡在沙發。唉,我究竟做錯了甚麼落得如此下場,果然與女生同居就不會有好日子過…267Please respect copyright.PENANA3fTcssJk9A