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Three years.
Three years with Nova Rae Blackwell—the only woman I ever wanted to be something better for.
The one girl who made me want to slow down, fix the broken parts, be a man worth holding onto.
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But man, the pressure?
It’s like carrying a weight made of glass.
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Every day, I try to be perfect for her—perfect in the way she deserves.
Not the angry, broken guy she met.
The guy who snaps, who pushes, who’s got all these scars she never asked to see.
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But the harder I try, the more it feels like I’m just digging myself deeper.
Like there’s this voice in my head whispering: You’ll never be enough.
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I started lying to her.
Little lies at first—late nights at work, meetings that never happened.
Then the big ones.
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The first time coke touched my lips, it felt like control. Like a way to silence the noise inside my head—the expectations, the fear, the self-doubt.
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It was a mistake.
A dark, twisting mistake.
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But the harder I fought, the more I fell.
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And the cheating… God, the cheating was worse.
Not because I didn’t love Nova—because I do. More than anything.
But because I was broken, and I didn’t know how to say it.
So I ran.
Ran into someone who didn’t know the weight I carried.
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The nights I came home late, smelling like sin and regret, I watched her from across the room.
Trying to convince myself she’d never see the cracks forming in the man I was supposed to be.
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She deserved better.
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I deserved better.
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But right now?
I’m just a man lost in the chaos of trying to hold it all together.
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And I’m scared that when the truth comes out—when she finally sees what I’ve done—it’ll all be gone.
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The love.
The trust.
The us.
She walked in too quiet.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhYZ4oyVkM
Too steady.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnw8WlyWbN
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Nova’s never been the silent type—unless she’s loading a bullet behind her eyes.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28ib9iXhLK
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She didn’t sit. Didn’t yell.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdFssHpdEb
Just stood there in front of me, her jaw locked like she was keeping herself from screaming.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh81sUf1vmw
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She placed her phone on the table between us, screen-down.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKGs2PBFrD
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“You been cheating on me, Saint?”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3CC015pGS
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I leaned back on the couch, like that could put space between me and what I already knew was coming.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXWVYywMmh
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“What?” I let out a low laugh. “Nova, c’mon. You really believe that?”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1c1reSF5l
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She didn’t blink.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmv3r363D7X
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“Tell me again.”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJsTHpsHiU
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“I’m not cheating. You’re being insecure.” I shrugged. “You overthink everything, and now you’re dragging this sh*t up outta nowhere.”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNbbSOld6Y
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She slid the phone across the table and tapped the screen.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmJ6ASekPF
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“Play that.”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWWP888LcA
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I hesitated.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMV5dJHela
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“Play. It.”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzTJSH5pbG
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I picked it up. Tapped the audio file.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfJbvuDZVc
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And there it was—my voice. Clear as day.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5DHKy3kpi
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“She’s wild, but I like it. Keeps things interesting. Like, she’s beautiful, sure—but it’s the chaos that makes it exciting.”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xAx5vtRNM
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Then laughter.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6XBM1bLg8
A woman’s voice, smug and flirty.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31QPKeJas0
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“So you stay with her ‘cause she’s crazy?”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMg93KbXYkj
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And me again.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkjuM8ioil
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“She needs me. That’s the thing. Girls like her always crash eventually—and I’ll be the one she runs back to.”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgI9M5Vlo1
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I locked eyes with Nova. My heart hit the floor.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvrZ5Me2Qx
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“It wasn’t like that,” I started, throat dry.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRVCfjan0I
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“No?” she asked, voice shaking. “Then what was it like, Saint?”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGisRfsdvK
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“I was just… talking. Trying to get her to leave me alone. You know how people twist things—”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVLfjhkjAS
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“Those were your exact words. I didn’t twist a damn thing.”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LBkgtkY1d
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I stood, hands clenched. “You’re overreacting—”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOQ1TPYshj
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“No, I’m reacting exactly how I should.” Her voice cut like glass. “You let another woman lie next to you and feed off pieces of me—our relationship. You didn’t just cheat. You degraded me.”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3W7mvyLEIc
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I stepped closer. “Nova, please. You know that’s not what I meant—”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3Qfazz1nd
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“But it’s what you said.” Her eyes were glassy, but not from tears—just restrained fire.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYKWISjghj
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“You called me wild. Broken. Chaotic.”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrn2F4MLZu
She paused. “And you said you liked it. Like I was some kind of pet project that makes you feel alive when your own soul is dead.”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN88jTRDkhN
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I shook my head, heat rising to my ears. “I messed up. I know that. But you don’t get to paint me as a villain for one slip-up—”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDaJsFPtaDA
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“Slip-up?” she whispered, stepping in close.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLgd2eNI0x
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“You don’t get to tell the world I’m a beautiful disaster and expect me to still hold you like you’re my peace.”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6cPCcrU6M
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“I love you, Nova.”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjpUDsRW9u
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She flinched. Just a little. Then:18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXKOLaYfGz
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“No. You love the control. You love the idea of me needing you.”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBicHtmFgB
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I reached for her wrist. She pulled away.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSW80sh0y3I
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“I loved you like you were oxygen. You loved me like I was fire—you liked the burn, but never wanted to get too close.”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMoGjwXv1E
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The silence hit harder than any slap.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTbXZ0Kz2Q
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She turned to leave, but stopped at the door.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRR1hzaHRwi
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“Next time you lie to someone about me, Saint—make sure they don’t record it.”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KZVfNQO90
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Door slammed.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoa77UUMCP
And I was left with her voice echoing in my head.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCc0Eg5mHi
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Not the one on the tape.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNx1ScouGad
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The one that finally decided she was done.
