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Three years.
Three years with Nova Rae Blackwell—the only woman I ever wanted to be something better for.
The one girl who made me want to slow down, fix the broken parts, be a man worth holding onto.
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But man, the pressure?
It’s like carrying a weight made of glass.
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Every day, I try to be perfect for her—perfect in the way she deserves.
Not the angry, broken guy she met.
The guy who snaps, who pushes, who’s got all these scars she never asked to see.
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But the harder I try, the more it feels like I’m just digging myself deeper.
Like there’s this voice in my head whispering: You’ll never be enough.
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I started lying to her.
Little lies at first—late nights at work, meetings that never happened.
Then the big ones.
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The first time coke touched my lips, it felt like control. Like a way to silence the noise inside my head—the expectations, the fear, the self-doubt.
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It was a mistake.
A dark, twisting mistake.
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But the harder I fought, the more I fell.
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And the cheating… God, the cheating was worse.
Not because I didn’t love Nova—because I do. More than anything.
But because I was broken, and I didn’t know how to say it.
So I ran.
Ran into someone who didn’t know the weight I carried.
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The nights I came home late, smelling like sin and regret, I watched her from across the room.
Trying to convince myself she’d never see the cracks forming in the man I was supposed to be.
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She deserved better.
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I deserved better.
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But right now?
I’m just a man lost in the chaos of trying to hold it all together.
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And I’m scared that when the truth comes out—when she finally sees what I’ve done—it’ll all be gone.
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The love.
The trust.
The us.
She walked in too quiet.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfbmfjCfP2
Too steady.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMuioUxD9z
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Nova’s never been the silent type—unless she’s loading a bullet behind her eyes.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CjDlQ3UjY
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She didn’t sit. Didn’t yell.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6poS8ZNNgc
Just stood there in front of me, her jaw locked like she was keeping herself from screaming.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXcNeg3b37
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She placed her phone on the table between us, screen-down.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviEpJ8r5Zp
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“You been cheating on me, Saint?”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwk2jCBdR2
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I leaned back on the couch, like that could put space between me and what I already knew was coming.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeaQcwDGvS
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“What?” I let out a low laugh. “Nova, c’mon. You really believe that?”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yZj8UIaLd
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She didn’t blink.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVo6xOqUWtn
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“Tell me again.”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdZdOIqOVx
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“I’m not cheating. You’re being insecure.” I shrugged. “You overthink everything, and now you’re dragging this sh*t up outta nowhere.”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCw8mHsqvuq
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She slid the phone across the table and tapped the screen.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7byIqfKDJ
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“Play that.”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8SnrO7r8p
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I hesitated.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzoCz3wVi2
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“Play. It.”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfGHhTXxIF
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I picked it up. Tapped the audio file.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKVTHZ1ZVu
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And there it was—my voice. Clear as day.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvujRoatP9B
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“She’s wild, but I like it. Keeps things interesting. Like, she’s beautiful, sure—but it’s the chaos that makes it exciting.”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdlceRgtom
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Then laughter.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYk1iIADgR
A woman’s voice, smug and flirty.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYBb7jsUL6
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“So you stay with her ‘cause she’s crazy?”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJM06wTyJYc
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And me again.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bxV5hjciY
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“She needs me. That’s the thing. Girls like her always crash eventually—and I’ll be the one she runs back to.”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzJ5nv6gHv
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I locked eyes with Nova. My heart hit the floor.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwW267jJKZW
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“It wasn’t like that,” I started, throat dry.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhaE6ASNRu
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“No?” she asked, voice shaking. “Then what was it like, Saint?”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXd4CZVHnd
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“I was just… talking. Trying to get her to leave me alone. You know how people twist things—”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiOoA2QtNi
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“Those were your exact words. I didn’t twist a damn thing.”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VCaUPsXLI
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I stood, hands clenched. “You’re overreacting—”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9UIaJrPlc
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“No, I’m reacting exactly how I should.” Her voice cut like glass. “You let another woman lie next to you and feed off pieces of me—our relationship. You didn’t just cheat. You degraded me.”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDujA8DElx
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I stepped closer. “Nova, please. You know that’s not what I meant—”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalIBliwiSX
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“But it’s what you said.” Her eyes were glassy, but not from tears—just restrained fire.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3wqAtaj47
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“You called me wild. Broken. Chaotic.”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwlUMMnBVJ
She paused. “And you said you liked it. Like I was some kind of pet project that makes you feel alive when your own soul is dead.”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkEkF7Y8M4
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I shook my head, heat rising to my ears. “I messed up. I know that. But you don’t get to paint me as a villain for one slip-up—”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNPFyeMhfd
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“Slip-up?” she whispered, stepping in close.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9D2aYdfY4
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“You don’t get to tell the world I’m a beautiful disaster and expect me to still hold you like you’re my peace.”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaJMAPIFLo
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“I love you, Nova.”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlVTJYmLvp
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She flinched. Just a little. Then:14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVA8BDr6eY
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“No. You love the control. You love the idea of me needing you.”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hpJjHKOJH
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I reached for her wrist. She pulled away.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ618614mmxl
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“I loved you like you were oxygen. You loved me like I was fire—you liked the burn, but never wanted to get too close.”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7s5UBBl5Z
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The silence hit harder than any slap.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM26CRsY51k
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She turned to leave, but stopped at the door.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIIa5dsugt
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“Next time you lie to someone about me, Saint—make sure they don’t record it.”14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYQXqZp2I5
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Door slammed.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Sty8jiW1b
And I was left with her voice echoing in my head.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62hDWFlApu
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Not the one on the tape.14Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JbwRQcJqm
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The one that finally decided she was done.
