x
You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5l4EQ3gryn
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrSdBzJuZw
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLtNF5ijX4
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5smAaaAjho
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJgqaQFh5Z
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmGjBGlmwH
Really talking.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQSeTY0JQa
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJRyGaNoCo
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVRUpebQ8v
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3RiRCpghF
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxzOWBhDEb
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArvOxg2WmD
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtebcORzgwP
Or59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JQROWQ6O2
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtxRGxTG2D
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkYe9TDMsu
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMAd4205X4
I typed.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiphrMsEAy
Deleted.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOozEga7g19
Typed again.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCi43T3xob
Deleted.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFqezbFPA9
Typed again.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzEbSuPVaj
Deleted.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9c7Q3a6TN1
Typed again.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6Yyd7vKwB
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxdhJSEm2D
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvlYAtK4mG
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZiOgLlkeA
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTkZbqINGf
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutOLTKUNom
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjt8ZntPK2
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZSDUwutW6
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwe5Ino0uFd
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcpvb0Swoh
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKwT2bpJ0d
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQktG7EvOFq
“I love pizza.”59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFurfRSi79
“I love that show.”59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGPPwyeoCV
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dYDruhzE2
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwsyvpjvGC
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbO0mNlKdO
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetV6GuGfTY
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFZ9qjDIpT
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9j6XHvNxK9
Maybe love is giving without expecting.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2m7ykfVu3
Hoping without demanding.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQP5FfMOVHT
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWO9TLw6gO
then what does that make me?
A gambler?59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhOcB96EoZ
A poet with no ink?59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJU8zXUQx2
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOHws0JcMN
It doesn’t ask for returns.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPi1Z0V4uB
It just… is.
Like the moon.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMEHdd2zXR
Distant. Cold sometimes.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1wTVkyJfG
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmf5c5w6Zjy
One that felt like surrender.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dpdVma5CZ
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIKSWX2bNI
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaPrNur9xc
Not because I wanted to.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTo6dWi3Yup
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSHSjDu58e
let the poet in me die trying,59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2IwvGU6NP
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkzov8m7Qk
time won't change the answer,59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrpzTXrZF5
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5G0YPvbPm7
I want her to smile when she sees my name.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeDoKh1LUR
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUaSkqM4C5
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZI5uJnAocD
But I can be someone good.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9h8mqlxbDG
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3mBnfzglP
"Sure, of course."59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCf8SV0IMCI
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxwLqwCXgb
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxex919xK1s
but it still matters.
The night grew older.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1At3nZOsY
The conversation faded into a simple:59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxRQmaEd4c
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8J9M1gZlp
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFFX1Kwjcb
Ceiling fan humming.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJlAGup623
Eyes open.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡup7Xx2A5eT
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqhtT5M3xp
The silence turned into a lullaby.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYb1qIDsDq
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8wd1spRIN
not even of love,59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGEgzk1AM2
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AuXrsZPUp
No moon. No wind.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wtvFqGMYe
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4Jd28EXex
“Do you think love makes you whole?59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttUx3Bbb2i
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1L9rCnQvq2
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAt5oX4L7YX
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkJLyoB5FK
A reason.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPdlXHJ9lx
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetfLpwhNiY
a feeling.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KQlo6rUXt
A choice.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkfyVlOjhP
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPC9g6DYHuN
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnFG3hBeqW
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHH27G4qP72
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpJ5OJ3F8V
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxt1ErX2Dc
peace.
