x
You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGA8JX41Y5W
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZMqs947wj
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2e6MzVFcT
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEvXFduiOg
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGdAYmPrCT
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvZH3Fupow
Really talking.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡes4Aq8CWzA
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CSEWoGd6e
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsorBRW33U
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pHb0Dm5Tx
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZDKxiSlwj
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbURONY042
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSllKEviK9
Or193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeQQmK38GL
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWprzRm1cE
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxIiBimvDh
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIb6oe5qwp
I typed.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAsaR3Db4q
Deleted.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGYP6K2bOm
Typed again.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYH4l4aB2P
Deleted.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumeWkKlyAf
Typed again.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigy6mtbnD0
Deleted.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2aqFXpz5o
Typed again.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdFihL3llm
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHA4UycaT0
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YKcaTG6sn
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39KLA9gP5e
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3YcfCafqz
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmwfPDEyva
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21Jewx5kKl
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFd7HB2UsOT
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgetGX12Pd
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrB5OT6xjsD
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCufkhQWsOa
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3t6RYK9Go
“I love pizza.”193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLumDaaWpTG
“I love that show.”193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BukuW0ssS
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSrFwBAjLw
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5DG3W7XPh
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5KSf1PwvX
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JOz8yruGe
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxQP7F8zHM
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Bp6jby8jn
Maybe love is giving without expecting.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhjkqCoZvP
Hoping without demanding.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9X2xK0Vvp
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XD4HxAGvM
then what does that make me?
A gambler?193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvIC7A2aiz
A poet with no ink?193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPwwOrjZL9
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4LqkSYqkz
It doesn’t ask for returns.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu53mq5Nayp
It just… is.
Like the moon.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKfYImcKk6
Distant. Cold sometimes.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡck6MGD9d7X
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJ4F79ve16
One that felt like surrender.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTtpys3EuW
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMeuBgtfJu
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBPumdf00Q
Not because I wanted to.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PPBjvGV3y
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6I8CeMDpjg
let the poet in me die trying,193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHAAkXinwP
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHGvSqoGeB
time won't change the answer,193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPbF4twKVh
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUyF0uA3NC
I want her to smile when she sees my name.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQom8mz83t
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVzITNyU1E
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudJnZWDsDq
But I can be someone good.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgl1rMXk7QF
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZWHSY0Vvd
"Sure, of course."193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KaptFP7Ul
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaTfAxE1mR
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mHbthXU8w
but it still matters.
The night grew older.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXILh0VALqh
The conversation faded into a simple:193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85K7TsZLV8
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJl3XqlH11
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DAuRA8bu2
Ceiling fan humming.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8Ew5ZnKCC
Eyes open.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxk89AHHLeY
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7IQtglPIZ
The silence turned into a lullaby.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpFOZUAR52
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0A2zlBagJ
not even of love,193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTRsqu347J
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOPg6BA8t2
No moon. No wind.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPlXrwqUsl
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rezoW9jyt
“Do you think love makes you whole?193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgys0EgGve
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NaIABHuZW
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HI4kisF4D
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFYbNqEkeu
A reason.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Lv3qlk0UR
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinZd6ZhoKE
a feeling.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqJCGUYolQ
A choice.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgeiQQZzkv
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fDIsBxt8Q
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qB5B2TAf5
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUR3uFRUNm
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAm9fNdu4r
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIwJFop55l
peace.
