x
You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnnUHupJIO
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JsJwH0iLE
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8hanXHQhA
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJfaViFnEp
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0PRK88kYh
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiF3jHfgqB
Really talking.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpMy6K5jYe
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71t0Y72b49
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cyQfSw5Tc
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrU13UnPXDU
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNxgfcekcZ
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWEb3SJskw
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0wTWh5tpx
Or154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvk9XrJkY3
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60hSBAH7cz
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn61o0SGGNZ
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvyIqUYX1P
I typed.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgx4j79sgF
Deleted.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIetMCbozd0
Typed again.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOaOYMjR93
Deleted.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlyNX40G1v
Typed again.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOlmYKCKJs
Deleted.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2m0Yy4s4zY
Typed again.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2DKvR9uc3
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4llV4knUKc
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJnZSPDZJP
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04D3dcPi27
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Gj86ofCKT
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vplXdWSJ9
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccqcJ0YZi6
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWu7XUL6OPc
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKn5ZpR9AxL
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWFGxaQra5
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOpgzUcBvr
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPRJXgBoK3
“I love pizza.”154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNu1WP2fmm
“I love that show.”154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPsSzBWoYi
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCitYrZn3o
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBF5n0a8Yy
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLd7Uzzxd1
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31mMRNongn
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3I09W6tw0
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oOsBayzZB
Maybe love is giving without expecting.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWk3LrRoU0D
Hoping without demanding.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJz5rdXcQW
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkl0CHXeS1V
then what does that make me?
A gambler?154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlysaTb8aBj
A poet with no ink?154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfxcwyHj4f
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0y2pgmdMLP
It doesn’t ask for returns.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU73kcON6aT
It just… is.
Like the moon.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRZ4AGKhti
Distant. Cold sometimes.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAVOtAnqx8
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSOm4QYEFN
One that felt like surrender.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvykJoDTcF
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPDdU0HIll
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasC6a9obYe
Not because I wanted to.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MzNAPknus
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEZRgLOfHv
let the poet in me die trying,154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLTQ7gL8GU
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTN7qjL0Vw
time won't change the answer,154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNxJClyzRK
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7mVbMVnHr
I want her to smile when she sees my name.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuNcxuQjjb
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWePe3Gb3SL
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqgAlClpFj
But I can be someone good.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMv9psCWd8s
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxiH2zcB5T
"Sure, of course."154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp12KaGqn0v
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMYLDeEJFn
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1sz8uXYEC
but it still matters.
The night grew older.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wBcVgX9vI
The conversation faded into a simple:154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnzudnubOa
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlloEGduXs
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwQeY7OlcN
Ceiling fan humming.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNElIQKntr
Eyes open.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW45nMVVabC
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0Ni9Fr6h0
The silence turned into a lullaby.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzz4aElM0bW
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69xKYcOxt3
not even of love,154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaW0SD0whbU
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrkxPeaSSK
No moon. No wind.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPl0Jk7H07
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60ypbAbjux
“Do you think love makes you whole?154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8KMa1519i
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDbhj98Fow
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXTB4nvbKZ
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyiq1AuMNA
A reason.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aiA0Bycgt
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWU5chS0s4
a feeling.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFPALsA33c
A choice.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCaTWK3y7Y
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGx2rOiy44d
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcEEqCaMb2
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrwCqLOGeF
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LyFnwUvE6
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...154Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0rpll71wp
peace.
