x
You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16m8QI3lXu
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ963itlbNlv
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyrDguoSVp
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKjbyMq7Qk
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsKZLKGTz3
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4WKoxKkdd
Really talking.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvKMfjG2DD
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNNWQlJ6NR
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FXl65U1Eh
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJJN80HBxY
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QdizH0E2Z
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmPuxhArG7
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehMcpjUhpe
Or46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOJToiDRNr
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEan9tvMl18
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjpbDWKsbS
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHwpu17dQi
I typed.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKTN98zgzH
Deleted.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bQKiln25p
Typed again.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ748AC9md3T
Deleted.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2TZJzgjgp
Typed again.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAn7AWhT1v
Deleted.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoG0FomEYM
Typed again.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAiHGcyTcL
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqG3pgDsCgX
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcTdwVxn8N
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8OcP0HSrD
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPd8Rv6HKX
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIsmYZghrx
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qULj5kfWh
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAm25jDQb1
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWzlEC5fPs
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWtLJoGYbW
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4f7nkMjmce
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPRDJ8mWJq
“I love pizza.”46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6Ry2iS6Wu
“I love that show.”46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqaeGwlmEn
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsbeINheVu
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtnFmvxpUO
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxEUENB1Pb
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0Lu6OHdF8
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8srXu0YsZP
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KwhHFubq0
Maybe love is giving without expecting.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnEPiciZvv
Hoping without demanding.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4H1XqQ3aC2
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZ0I9bQZaA
then what does that make me?
A gambler?46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4fBSqvmIJ
A poet with no ink?46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPTg9LpJ4n
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27LRvUiitf
It doesn’t ask for returns.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcib1XkiMtE
It just… is.
Like the moon.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhw61pjueIu
Distant. Cold sometimes.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡff7XZkIKPd
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeph6mgWJvQ
One that felt like surrender.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLoXFH4jix
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmiDEIdtfbW
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vNrrjHNno
Not because I wanted to.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMrx4pC63n
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8Rw8kxb2o
let the poet in me die trying,46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HCRVxEkXJ
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBby5Ahiqh6
time won't change the answer,46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSC2Q9Klh6
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qYfnyVNvz
I want her to smile when she sees my name.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPN0SAmfG6
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8uMCVwK7c
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBP40Bmlkn
But I can be someone good.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3t7glwYfs
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRWyeAzmAw
"Sure, of course."46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcft62mij9y
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBkkUT1LMm
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfteTC1D98K
but it still matters.
The night grew older.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBNACUxURV
The conversation faded into a simple:46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHEzNitjxt
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ302W7iXBPq
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnk0NHm7GLc
Ceiling fan humming.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTliKdHiXEJ
Eyes open.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkzVEJAJtT
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpvuDYV3K7
The silence turned into a lullaby.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCsML0MYuP
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2iKdDWRy0
not even of love,46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fTRinU7GH
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWSFr7UXnW
No moon. No wind.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjD1giwccvt
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqBLcKFKcL
“Do you think love makes you whole?46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrZEAKw75f
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDmNvy7g7J
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1W0o7mVrC
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNCHgG5IdB
A reason.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMywWZjV60
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjE3U0Q5igm
a feeling.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoS7g6WB1A
A choice.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZzrd8tYVd
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmcLZdKDoT
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyxnTIFGDw
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbWjP2HaQI
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPtuFAH1ae
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...46Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bBSrIEld5
peace.
