x
You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPURNjQDDz
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOMjwrBGSl
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9dVIlnzuE
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsQMMiHKBI
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61OIqetS3V
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlVGWn6w9u
Really talking.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkrYaxBuPd
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPrHvpCFCu
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOV2gnultN
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXsyiLXmxb
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPN71WcmAR
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrlI5eRcdd
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOYg3POINB
Or190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXZ8FpGPfO
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96EjYADvOl
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMad3w49b4y
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPl6DhXXup
I typed.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIJSDB5LHB
Deleted.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLI4oVuHq7
Typed again.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUWaa4ImGx
Deleted.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKy1amYBaeK
Typed again.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC516qAsewn
Deleted.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rgOFFG4Lu
Typed again.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUl9JMYQvjO
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hdn9cS6io
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnyC5hOEcP3
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxueY1cBlxW
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dKcjuQUBA
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZ8ZwIDO08
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTT49dZjNeH
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rG9p5e4kt
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1rnFZXSE5
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQmQ7KToCh
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡertiFH7L6m
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqOv6BjdfK
“I love pizza.”190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Eyuvax148
“I love that show.”190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0l3YLxWDe
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvaMWZSEgR
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7Ll8vBsX6
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7EgFgpNmw
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLia17LJy6J
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtrEhP7vOG
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDvmi5jNrS
Maybe love is giving without expecting.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDILIEp2EE
Hoping without demanding.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRg1XQ5leD
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo41mtWcB7x
then what does that make me?
A gambler?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWeYBbn24A
A poet with no ink?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZkiqt5znr
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBooCChCXAy
It doesn’t ask for returns.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmBzdU17N1
It just… is.
Like the moon.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniYUXx1D95
Distant. Cold sometimes.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sc2T7cLgx
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnbKA1Oomv
One that felt like surrender.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYLVJVFTRD
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFzCcGLW4v
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu78Qr0eRal
Not because I wanted to.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwSH1RX6LA
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2b1VJ3i50
let the poet in me die trying,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rFlnsF3Ym
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3Az1zHBQS
time won't change the answer,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ziSZQ39mP
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0r8rNDG8FH
I want her to smile when she sees my name.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5i7NONPo5q
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PBcODvpJh
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kMtbFrzuk
But I can be someone good.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MwZiWAm5f
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Cw0yEIUWI
"Sure, of course."190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmrehLhRQ0
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDATFlwRb1t
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6X7xNIBSWf
but it still matters.
The night grew older.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBwUnxEplh
The conversation faded into a simple:190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWWQBPnTFq
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvUU7theh2
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgjOYHiUzp
Ceiling fan humming.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmY4dFwTTYr
Eyes open.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rPvvhn9Gq
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EIhbkZnML
The silence turned into a lullaby.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEN7LtTkjUV
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lHFaNEBRu
not even of love,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiXba7wKbd
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdnVWBR523
No moon. No wind.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFliVUtyWr
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwUUUWM0SZ
“Do you think love makes you whole?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnM8FWYIwl
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9Cpko3rUJ
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFTc7UfPTP
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡej10QhXhKK
A reason.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESmtmCPUWn
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15ROfKepps
a feeling.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9r0FwmA6X
A choice.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWoqSAL0HB
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rj7jQzxTC
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOB2JR3ONC
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpQwUuKKB2
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDePmgOVHlP
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZfjwLo49j
peace.
