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I don’t even know when it started—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyTqM1YWBh
this quiet, growing love I have for Kouichi.
When we were little, I always thought of him as my younger brother.
He was always quietly by my side—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqk3AV84uGI
picking up my fallen hair clips,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ520qg83Dx9
handing me a handkerchief when I cried.
I thought he was smaller than me,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlndfLHC94
someone I had to look after and protect.
But at some point—he had grown taller than I was.
When he walked beside me,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFUKov6wHV
his shadow stretched longer, broader.
His voice had deepened.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lM8lLO91t
His eyes had grown more still.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5lAj9eURy
And he no longer nodded at everything I said—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CNc9JC08R
he had learned how to say “no.”
It was in that moment I realized—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPX0A6SW0dG
I could no longer see him as a younger brother.
Because he had become… a man.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCE4vQbbZna
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When he stands too close, I blush.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhK9LYX8MS
My heart skips.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XMBeMSAoI
Even just meeting his eyes makes it hard to breathe.
If I go a whole day without seeing him, I get restless, unsettled—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpQfARtSw0
and my mind keeps replaying his face, his voice, over and over.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhl8sC7mF81
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And whenever I do see him,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuC4JrBurNE
my gaze can’t help but follow him—
From the tousled strands of his hair,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXaTVYyBX1W
to his long, dark lashes,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nt4dhgkgU
to the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathes.
Even the light texture of his skin under the sun,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczmhXrrTIY
the curve of his shoulders… and—
That tiny mole on the right side of his neck.
And then…17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoalV20JOTP
there’s his Adam’s apple.
It moves slightly whenever he talks or swallows—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmEMEDWFNA
and every time,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡit9Yeb29Ks
I find myself wondering what it might feel like17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuKbf0gmJD
if I brushed my fingertips across it.
Sometimes, I even catch myself staring at the shape of his lips.
He doesn’t have to say anything—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9U3Fxairb7
and still, I can’t help imagining:
If one day, those lips pressed against my skin…17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1scNOLJXBC
my forehead,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8aO1F0Orn
my ear,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2YFEwhHX0
the back of my neck…
And finally—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Uu5jURNFI
if they pressed against my lips—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYggNzbSf3K
what would that feel like?17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ueWUDupUm
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It’s like a melody.
A melody I accidentally heard the beginning of,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SP0JbLC9Y
and now can’t stop listening to.
It’s not loud,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iB9DzIdh7
but it loops endlessly inside me, quietly—
And before I realized it,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrmb8A3iat
I was already too deep to escape.
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That day, he was driving me to school.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8x9KksYyrP
It was supposed to be just another ordinary morning.
Until a little girl suddenly dashed into the street—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YINg4E67O
and he hit the brakes.
The tires screeched against the road,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfVG7czplo
and the car jolted violently.
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Before I could react—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ENlgfYAku
his left arm reached across me,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6TwEfVR5v
blocking me protectively across the chest.
Just two… maybe three centimeters more,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ497RI5NX2r
and he would’ve touched me.
That wide hand hovered there, fingers slightly spread,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMHTq6C2zr
knuckles sharp and veins faintly visible.
It was so close I could almost feel the warmth of his fingertips—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3ZKb5fEeH
and the tremor in the air between us.
His hand was still trembling.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMkpjpLvHO
Almost imperceptibly.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aJTgZAIop
Not out of fear—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbIiStGCVU
but from the lingering adrenaline, the instinct to protect.
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And me?17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsms3q1ZFj
I was already blushing to the tips of my ears.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OCd4oMpEJ
I felt like lightning had struck me.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VXPESYKza
I couldn’t move an inch.
“My lady, are you alright?”
His voice was so gentle—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPaYtIbeaT
it felt like it could shatter every piece of armor I wore.
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I quickly turned my face to the window,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8kCVw3TIt
trying to hide the heat in my cheeks and the chaos in my chest.
“I-I’m fine…”17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKbFLYiNFG
The words came out in broken fragments,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbgCSztm3u
caught in my throat.
I tried to sound calm,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bCXQwAPrX
but I couldn’t ignore that hand—
The hand that had nearly touched me,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOqttlA0ui
and somehow felt even more overwhelming than if it had.
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My heart was in a mess,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55NYpwRZNi
but deep down, in some tiny corner of me, I couldn’t help wondering:
How long has it been since he last touched me?
The last time we held hands was when I was twelve.
He was ten.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfvwu5NAWU
We were playing hide and seek in the garden.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSDMByqubd
He grabbed my hand, sweaty and small, and said:17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2j3Vuo9KGo
“Don’t worry. I’ll pull you along.”
His hand back then was soft and a little damp, still a child’s.
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But now…
I snuck a glance at him.
That hand had long since grown—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlomWo2Ghn
broad and steady, joints defined,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDPQsPytTU
carrying the quiet strength of a man.
If I were touched by these hands now…17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzQdKHVBL8
Would they still make me feel safe?
Or had they changed—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡax3COG9Bjq
become something irresistible?
Would his touch still comfort me… 17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSzIZPIaR2
or stir up something I’m not ready for?
I couldn’t say it aloud.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWx98bV5MM
I didn’t dare look at him again.
I just let those chaotic, greedy, and shamefully yearning thoughts17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBofXMB8eZ
rise like waves in my heart—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSCk0H4swx
rippling out in silence.
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It was a touch that never crossed the line—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkyRGav5vm
but deep down, I quietly longed for it to.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpkSpFm5sX
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