x
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I don’t even know when it started—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cmbNFbaKS
this quiet, growing love I have for Kouichi.
When we were little, I always thought of him as my younger brother.
He was always quietly by my side—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2eHbnsEPdp
picking up my fallen hair clips,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdzkp3vHYW
handing me a handkerchief when I cried.
I thought he was smaller than me,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp592dH6wHq
someone I had to look after and protect.
But at some point—he had grown taller than I was.
When he walked beside me,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWwoW4HPm1
his shadow stretched longer, broader.
His voice had deepened.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNarhspXMsq
His eyes had grown more still.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDyDxFeRfF
And he no longer nodded at everything I said—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTmMPEjgRR
he had learned how to say “no.”
It was in that moment I realized—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJ223q1Zk3
I could no longer see him as a younger brother.
Because he had become… a man.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwROpiRInB
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When he stands too close, I blush.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYTxyJk63u
My heart skips.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUZXMZ7zya
Even just meeting his eyes makes it hard to breathe.
If I go a whole day without seeing him, I get restless, unsettled—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLsFZ6RHh3
and my mind keeps replaying his face, his voice, over and over.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gZ4gmgC70
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And whenever I do see him,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVXxnyxO0l
my gaze can’t help but follow him—
From the tousled strands of his hair,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJotXDlsvH
to his long, dark lashes,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwb1Tay0IaD
to the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathes.
Even the light texture of his skin under the sun,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mcpFTSdxD
the curve of his shoulders… and—
That tiny mole on the right side of his neck.
And then…15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8e9VWirxDs
there’s his Adam’s apple.
It moves slightly whenever he talks or swallows—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21D5Dwg973
and every time,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUQ7lvoKDk
I find myself wondering what it might feel like15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmMdWDznkv
if I brushed my fingertips across it.
Sometimes, I even catch myself staring at the shape of his lips.
He doesn’t have to say anything—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLp5PIFzuv6
and still, I can’t help imagining:
If one day, those lips pressed against my skin…15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSSkKncrn4
my forehead,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhTLSu3fWx
my ear,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOp3VHEQarz
the back of my neck…
And finally—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6ItlGohFB
if they pressed against my lips—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbGtsJ3iLf
what would that feel like?15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWjmPBjEdv
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It’s like a melody.
A melody I accidentally heard the beginning of,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPQRxPSsqM
and now can’t stop listening to.
It’s not loud,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkM1ZHUGNm2
but it loops endlessly inside me, quietly—
And before I realized it,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHa7ulnaax
I was already too deep to escape.
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That day, he was driving me to school.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJhUcaPn34
It was supposed to be just another ordinary morning.
Until a little girl suddenly dashed into the street—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GV1ugSYdU
and he hit the brakes.
The tires screeched against the road,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVm9IXJMorH
and the car jolted violently.
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Before I could react—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeSmrkKahd
his left arm reached across me,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhb7u7uNcOW
blocking me protectively across the chest.
Just two… maybe three centimeters more,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgduQu2MywS
and he would’ve touched me.
That wide hand hovered there, fingers slightly spread,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuQv6FmQ8D
knuckles sharp and veins faintly visible.
It was so close I could almost feel the warmth of his fingertips—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0IE4UUi0v
and the tremor in the air between us.
His hand was still trembling.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRmqbEVB44
Almost imperceptibly.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BM0XAIqi2
Not out of fear—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaI76TxW1Bf
but from the lingering adrenaline, the instinct to protect.
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And me?15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWM2SJJ59q
I was already blushing to the tips of my ears.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhlzfsMwDW
I felt like lightning had struck me.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIQJI9Iqei
I couldn’t move an inch.
“My lady, are you alright?”
His voice was so gentle—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlRBoF0pqY
it felt like it could shatter every piece of armor I wore.
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I quickly turned my face to the window,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJq2O54lb8
trying to hide the heat in my cheeks and the chaos in my chest.
“I-I’m fine…”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYP2COky6Ni
The words came out in broken fragments,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIrW7zUsEj
caught in my throat.
I tried to sound calm,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5IVM06yD1
but I couldn’t ignore that hand—
The hand that had nearly touched me,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMx63923dRk
and somehow felt even more overwhelming than if it had.
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My heart was in a mess,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSZL1mwm6o
but deep down, in some tiny corner of me, I couldn’t help wondering:
How long has it been since he last touched me?
The last time we held hands was when I was twelve.
He was ten.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixrlbgwsqU
We were playing hide and seek in the garden.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRhHLSEeHi
He grabbed my hand, sweaty and small, and said:15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthxTnHzQaM
“Don’t worry. I’ll pull you along.”
His hand back then was soft and a little damp, still a child’s.
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But now…
I snuck a glance at him.
That hand had long since grown—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJv9DPOXRGm
broad and steady, joints defined,15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJp9cPLOOAd
carrying the quiet strength of a man.
If I were touched by these hands now…15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeJqIkbx5D
Would they still make me feel safe?
Or had they changed—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3s4nh4oQ6X
become something irresistible?
Would his touch still comfort me… 15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UK4iTOIIN
or stir up something I’m not ready for?
I couldn’t say it aloud.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2O93kj9xH1
I didn’t dare look at him again.
I just let those chaotic, greedy, and shamefully yearning thoughts15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMl7LDi8Mbp
rise like waves in my heart—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLozD75dFY
rippling out in silence.
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It was a touch that never crossed the line—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4Mgljf7zl
but deep down, I quietly longed for it to.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyZkjjexM9
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