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「去哪？」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADfDsxh3Gf
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrJ2S6VhZT
「急事。」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr46I96fIFA
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrrXkER6af
「你不吃晚餐？」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUm6Jv4HoJG
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGWGYZAPeU
我沒應答，逕自出門。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5p1cruUrI
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wJRkaHC1k
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRrjb1Py5c
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizie9XnvWe
難以言喻的鬱悶。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOFCTeLKiz
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEtOBJimy0
長嘆。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61WSrbFQPu
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1ZNVaJvA0
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHImVfKTMV
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7aoSBWtsXS
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgk5hRvPi0G
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZd1uFYdfAv
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIuGBgsjfw
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0TJqK9dS4
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lkJkuqon7
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wbgAslON7
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4GzFv9CiF
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiffdIsrDFY
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Q6U3CoIVe
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcmbjcDf93
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Dn2kIKgwA
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRX5b38Amwl
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdhOenpNHh
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPkglCGrjx
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhLy3hm6g9
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYEkM0ni8T
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOYEAmRtnQ
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZLzyD6m6F
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWYMxIpnox
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLiCpg3Dtk
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuq8dCwtD2x
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrqdpmwz0n
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqnq4tXQ2o
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOmpc0dfpw
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡII1qRTTpGY
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6ns8vx5wZ
註定的。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwOukbpckM
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyGCvSrjbG
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgXs79xztr
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2KIwuuJRj
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cqYZL40D4
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnJODz9imQ
停步。猶疑。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLUFg0bPrZ
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopSzedrtqC
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDnXBfpWz7
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jerU636xt
轉身。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzsGXruDBr
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrppvStvjCv
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXqHyHYoVG
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkYP9B3FWE
我回身走去。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCuozd3o7G
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhAD9e3GJD
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLV8YXmXLZ
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5euIUozI5
把小狗抱入懷內。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNgZZPkxmx
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGDPRs4PdU
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRusu5GXx8
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFzqQEOhOG
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72PhP2bbqY
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dbevW0rUg
海風？海濱公園步道？370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIZmn1ni7K
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rPT9hvL0r
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwi7vmNh3LT
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpB3ybalTO
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh56KuXvRvX
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PE6Yn3kT6
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hPjdxrHgE
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiRiIh2HaB
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstWgtOr9Ol
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OdaLSydJm
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtpmrsMuG3
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQPZ6bUzTZ
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4oVmJA785
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksCG4mDmt3
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTbJwwc904
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhqClmedqe
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumh2dgkX5u
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZG1iN8RUE6
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjDtgLEeGt
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuTlTpJ3oB
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrjEDXoNDO
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4egbHaoVk
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCErZsmoHXM
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIxEiRmX1h
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBL2uKqcxLU
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNbf56LTuW
鬱悶何來？370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUL51HL1tis
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFiEw47ctD
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8UKzFU0IW
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDgWkX5pSf
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3rclwbYa4
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qviET8JOk
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSHxaufZF7
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EPYolkiPV
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3hvYncuBf
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqg01qXkogz
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8uO34qEIC
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtjC3W4Wjn
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jrr95WC2g
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pdCZohrdh
然後呢？根本沒有然後。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlcw8qAhNz
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgfhzaOrvh
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GDRkiBVyL
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZgNc0yxed
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsZPjZgUj1
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
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