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「去哪？」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCJbcpXkIU
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbY921mUeQ
「急事。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVFjFJVACq
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3v04XnJBe
「你不吃晚餐？」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOeI8QQFP2
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qWVDdvfQg
我沒應答，逕自出門。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBesbaUTbpL
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFpyPXRpav
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05Fx2yt8Z3
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXG5TAIzaB
難以言喻的鬱悶。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEs4pN2LjVk
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhsWlfzJmL
長嘆。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprvOl5ASaL
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLvhM49qOb
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NI0q1UNZO
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5VuXSUcjc
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiq2IABWFp
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rQSihaOhy
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJ8UafhOPT
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5q3v2L9st
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERIZEo9sTj
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4n6fTSZ81
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzyVcTyyIA
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZQBBr33n6
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvNcvV1NuB
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6E32H8LQo
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QLBsi5kJB
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ovgEU2OaZ
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgU3rR28208
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JLrnlYuiF
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFkYmjs2VQ
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIc3dXkSZ1i
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXb8D4cenf2
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLG31DgoNAe
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UWlOws5h9
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyznYTPeoSQ
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAVPpX5cVv
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MHelr6jzq
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9mqO8ccu4
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QacgKgHYu
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgpHbzC3RE
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqh72mAK8Q6
註定的。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5PtKRekA1
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5WGhi5MTE
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNC1T2nzzig
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRJRTEpXrN
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHrILKIjcT
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhq1qYRYuIs
停步。猶疑。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhl8FyYw53
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTVOoNeWaS
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEi5rvRezge
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8L5DjOnBB
轉身。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mxpXSIOJW
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUBoS3Jrkh
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tskLtskWX
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7og6K9mgQ
我回身走去。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioLNfPG22w
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsUC403es8
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYnjYjWhIS
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jVJdY4K9o
把小狗抱入懷內。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuH9JwS3Vt4
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8n17JJhV7c
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4A4Eoj7J7
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTIf8FuiDj
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoLctr77gv
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lwYGYj7mZ
海風？海濱公園步道？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPqRyhkRva
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7cvzutFuw
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcBNauDDmv
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxgPmmYU5A
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbngpj2NOG9
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraxEN2H9oe
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvR8AjTaFy
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkk4KUuc4G4
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3gXE1ZSin
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjJdKRVre3
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Aa8fo27LP
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVm8615cdQ
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0v9RLLJ83
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFjUSBCuNQ
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1cjNDPTSz
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNslFeLZei
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRXrmsoj67
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqDqj4bEdl
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkhVSvDmF6
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8aMkAkgVuX
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1F2zNUyhuJ
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IeiGoy80B
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpBcMJbB2Z
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNgcmOJyny
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnt7uIovBa9
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUxD6RCmsa
鬱悶何來？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBkhUIa4bb
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBS346j7JBl
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsoPfyzWip
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7yV8kxkz8
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdQG3wPfym
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXC0cYysK7
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BUZhXJWmK
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMCrmftZFQ
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYoV0sqwaa
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxyV4d6CQL
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xnN58ynJ6
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6igitAw3h
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiY3q1OeAa0
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfVQD1Yw9W
然後呢？根本沒有然後。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPVy8ALPfT
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xi0QDRim9
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlI1DHNTa5G
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG419rwDM0O
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzvBTAuA64
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.250da2
