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「去哪？」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjihBNKpHQ
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdSH44RPCw
「急事。」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yQGdLOMLn
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgwdca5tty
「你不吃晚餐？」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsJPdxUzpg
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYSAhgkMbL
我沒應答，逕自出門。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcHQavrid0
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpOxbFFRqP
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5YUqJfRrt
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EhKJzL87t
難以言喻的鬱悶。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pY0lWuKSr
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOemD9Bsyx
長嘆。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQnpJhHyfL
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FA1VE5tQf
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6q3T5gUlQF
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WVHTMo40H
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSmlcXG4jP
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluIl1brjcO
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboMywm9ubW
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CvVr8YFob
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgaCo7yr1S
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfAKuwnokU
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCF8yEiKkky
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDm0XG9BxY1
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQlmCgfUo2
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoZGUnR5fa
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MeeVHm0zs
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQ7JSrqEyP
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzi8Hdz2zEp
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeL9iLuZSGn
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltdUYMh7fZ
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotwcayhTnb
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbcITXwxXq
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBh8IyltUr
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfaj53PZ5l
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhqFhhgxqe
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3l1OMVNaT
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoNbNKkm75
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jmvUtAcSw
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkD4YbCveIq
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1FDYe37iA
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHa3eDqPf8T
註定的。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukOnQ6HEeC
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllOw8o5CcI
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcyahHt1Ui
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ94cWn4Gfw
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmodMc8Ajg
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRHWIa5bQe
停步。猶疑。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPtioS4T4P
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78wbvMkXAA
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUfYvyTVXO
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtaOIyEkiZd
轉身。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4muUu3cxAr
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIr129VTzHj
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQ20OhJlf2
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNkLFF7dcx
我回身走去。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJiy2NR7Pa
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKncvatdDo
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybuiLN39Uf
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnBnU7l806
把小狗抱入懷內。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRFGhvcDeD
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFX9KyQwaRo
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KTnM4lU67
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUC706Okp3M
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4S4LFG8AV
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCplw1LTCUV
海風？海濱公園步道？342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4k1yJhgff
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjuueOFpHE
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOq2GsKnz3
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZzKfNxgYL
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8EZ8OIftq
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsa9zPkte4o
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oYidMQ6Cf
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvb5odin2uG
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3T4n5foesu
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFiVTZhpwl
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbfCONIDkg
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2esEZdO8vG
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIRZh6AnvR
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgwyyzuRRE
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Xt6bzpkfa
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGAJaxoPM8
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7xxBjrdj6
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmlLtQjWgH
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbmJuCaULr
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAZNdRGkBm
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQKjSHnRGr
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNolfqTjsQ
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLE6GdXiEHP
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mwVL3vWxw
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhTriMAfIr
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIetgYbnAYD
鬱悶何來？342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIgV0TqRl4
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLyHEf7ZTR
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRhfh1QEN2
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNH2tyNeGfp
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyDSImVOpa
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqVAbT1VJ2
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CvFrdPhi5
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqjMs4eDYL
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3AJe4RJRi
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xFdZTCfF0
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8ZXBnRW0I
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8zJMzJrCZ
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyckesprte
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEoDhtVqEY
然後呢？根本沒有然後。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGDjCQGmel
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7gagN5oG8
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIonpv8EiMo
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqmnHlnTtZ
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bBUhvOsYO
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns3.144.156.43da2
