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「去哪？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDybRf7Xro
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9IXFjRgqO
「急事。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmCrpufifE
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cfFa9rzCm
「你不吃晚餐？」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjO2Y138VV
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspKLPxxm6K
我沒應答，逕自出門。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlG4WLhsvb1
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0owXlshoji
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcClP5UdCLK
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMdlK54vJU
難以言喻的鬱悶。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjo8kOdIp8
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTY4I2V3Sc
長嘆。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMB4Yd75sw
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmwAcX2jos
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JKIokcZti
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyvsUjKWU7
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQmBbJmaUY
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdO4SkznCb
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8fqNRK8wL
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzQ4RtHlTw
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4XfjW8mYt
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kSelZgOO5
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNCPNiX4yv
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCH4rrOVW0P
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmk1zNgrPYO
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpM7ishwZGn
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTE2kQ4mc4X
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4fdvWe8L8
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5XL5GGjme
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTf6i94rIZ
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBiI7GayTM
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEha31ogCsP
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xPevGkmmd
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JhGNygMwU
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEHMk6qRDg
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwxObadRLW
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUudniLlCis
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHbqeUAFBT
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJ3HRoUHnN
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfA9m5fkY4g
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbXPNHQoVM
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5g9TMaOws9
註定的。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJq7QBN27P8
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbWeO3vUJr
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XmLv3AQZE
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhOMKfjfiz
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtzijfxPER
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVaPgy0eIs
停步。猶疑。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWnMtWB49v
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI23cDKhHST
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTXBeJqV4F
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNNBj62FWY
轉身。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGtF8aJUbD
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wqt56GrT7
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEuCZAgZIq
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHe4Z0NIbN
我回身走去。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejNFxOLDdB
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4oxYa1ivg
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCDtkM9Bn2
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZwVPbqkg8
把小狗抱入懷內。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90pMgoExQ6
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQs3DPzCJpq
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vhIBFqJ7n
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPwI0gaTM4
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJcMH7H390
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkuHStz9hJ
海風？海濱公園步道？369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3zemP0chK
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyDjmnr9d1
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4nkY6RUco
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xhdNM1VEJ
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsk16S4liIa
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOueCakAmN
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZU9gRkaoH
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVstWAtSYYA
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxgrmEPhdk
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhfm1wswmt
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhQoNdUI5A
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIYH02p3PJ
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfljeUn0zq
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeG0Udl8LL
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaERgVECG4
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡav70WGkbIj
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtlujp3tJ9
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EsFweVlHM
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPUKOdyWCT
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnp0O4Jvug9
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1p1Uiv32Q
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMfLT6Ylra
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtH4hy7ndAK
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrlVPlKtx2
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jejVXDoUs
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8BsKqLNKV
鬱悶何來？369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKTK0U5Fhh
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9wMKHV0Il
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnxB4SvXxm
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTyvUf9jOB
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZj0ZS1AbZ
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmFzToEr8R
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9P9NpuTCKY
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnjYV94uBe
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjNryg9z12
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuFsleBBO4
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdgJk9QBl2
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVGxHs0VQB
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkmxWPzxGe
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxCXy9SGxb
然後呢？根本沒有然後。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScMg6Yb7B5
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcKCgUi7E9
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuL3LSvsa7X
369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrd3Vt3siI
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。369Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIM73XoxPj1
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.39da2
