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「去哪？」392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFIRExMtnT
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEX38Qck9s
「急事。」392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjusvGKQpvo
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjOafhLTrZ
「你不吃晚餐？」392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgIJGCouOm
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qZxCc3gF7
我沒應答，逕自出門。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLwsmzsDfK
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFro5tiHAP
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxSNrQjOlc
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbAZCUSw5S
難以言喻的鬱悶。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbU0BnebsFC
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyt8EJBZO2
長嘆。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ff4Yb49Ii
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFUULuEN2b
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkS39XAGh1b
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WyCc38Fur
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNOKxWUpPh
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD23OebiCYT
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvoDmN3b59
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwmP7M4nQX
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgV7oGFBw8r
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8oYxNz5oy
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9nOzhCxgk
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYEffAzAFD
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeE9RuyMkS
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmgVjo6rjP
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JQhbMP1Ho
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0GH4IO0Ja
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMm8Spuvu9
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxOuZIqXcz
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6BJEqCmvX
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInQWrSx1tz
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKEJ5GAsUu
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwaxtvHcEL
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLLMPjr2y1
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexTW5Py9ab
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQnREBQgRC
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFqdsXsX4x
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7NIkNbpEV
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9o0EyVj1vk
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVaFncEyA6
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TGknC6pjL
註定的。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBaLrVWj83
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfl0sFwGDrU
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXh5xUfaEC
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZwwepRsiP
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU97M77xWu3
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixmtRx2M4D
停步。猶疑。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZtJnVmo17
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGOyaGMxph
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOv2erQZZI7
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKeK49kSzN
轉身。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gVdhQcoBY
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5KtxuXdAo
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1FxMFe6hF
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEXtff3ARJ
我回身走去。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJewv2JusM
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRWjK6KKoo
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLylJj2GXm
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTy4csbeiAi
把小狗抱入懷內。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvczjN8rGb
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSjMsi46x7
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9YyunzLLn
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCWGMlF1SH
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCH7Yiusj7
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQdneZk4HR
海風？海濱公園步道？392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdESNkac284
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPZuaqPObH
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmVcYHmsuE
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmZ0zxBIvc
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRoHsoGLrdL
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChhwJljDCO
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxW1x0kb32
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasaSIrdw9e
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISs0lzyHSN
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyk5pTayreV
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimku0FF514
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrV74DZXgc
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8BfaSccfS
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUb7xGusmS0
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNz9zQ6mYur
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1ntUhPUuA
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBS2EjnF9LK
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjAtROK50k
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGc5K4IceF1
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYnLLumrb9
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6KBFd6htI
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ca4gWk5G5
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAcMuKmAnO
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcgVvcq2MF
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EjQMi01ik
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1w9wjvqdSI
鬱悶何來？392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtta0Uq2SjP
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7ccMarEJf
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdRAtvXLRZ
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByEg1HujD2
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIrRlHen8u
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgi5nbSqLes
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsbUJUcmz8
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqJ3Y0NDW8
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMpBpZ1yR2
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdCSDII1E2
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUVRkKbxX6
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNha0KzG2n
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakVGkxD208
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kzXLwdXWN
然後呢？根本沒有然後。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHdNgRgLFg
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnZ0EG4l8S
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcoAsjeLel
392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOHTOFW4pX
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。392Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxiVdovYr8
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.6da2
