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「去哪？」331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplBo7K4nAj
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「急事。」331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAn0N7rUlEu
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「你不吃晚餐？」331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJE84SvqUX
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我沒應答，逕自出門。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmp1ayW1Tw
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUlcxrXflF
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNoFcbO6yT
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難以言喻的鬱悶。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4t7tEoA5p
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長嘆。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtfXMGiulR
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「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eVXWi65c2
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5i81AQkvz
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI10A5Zag81
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYAhq1uijs
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgeBIrwRaq
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWkcm5wEla
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLGVonyrL8
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她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXSSvDs8QQ
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我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsz9WP3IVJv
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另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPLs6m7Dnl
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1exFPzEQyp
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNtC1cH9Dy
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRoxxi4Dmb
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeufkT2Xxz
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污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtvngFe7my
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髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqF9C1VanU4
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為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaOkRhLuEc
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yYuFRbx7K
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGawKwWPbJc
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiu5kTVlMem
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qSjWKycVq
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註定的。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEeItos0N9
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZy5exA4Kp
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfbNAqIZ1G
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7UYZet3wH
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkgw4fBBJK
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvB8YgY8Eb
停步。猶疑。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnoPNDAK4i
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxtsnonS4b
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQl3zmLHz8
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqPsUxUq1w
轉身。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFgWDtcs6D
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzOSjFU9FB
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGTPhWS5h4
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIRSDRLyNi
我回身走去。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1R7QgNC5h4
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惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7FHSRRZjn
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKecZlStSRW
把小狗抱入懷內。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFI2WX1f8nA
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtbYgUB8xn
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJDPT9Jtmx
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbodWFiix4u
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVttqgV9Zj
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEomf5k3VG
海風？海濱公園步道？331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EtmfQ4qKF
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWi5l80uYTy
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAUQTLkJXD
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykmJ00Ssmh
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6t4FtNg6O8
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk89vM4kbvs
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYaaFZIC54
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPe5EN7YA3R
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ei4y1ICy4
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpB11jmYTPs
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGQ9Vr2yUo
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKJWXbC6Yk
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyo5gfveTQj
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQ0iIZKJn8
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTUHA4o2zK
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGn3C1CkJ9J
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gX2YEIXS5
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33W3AUJhWM
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLolVhJ6gE
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1XGZfXy9w
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEM422gvMJ
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAKjThXpGZ
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNjTaddEye
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡys7jjkynd7
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIQ9dTrbh7
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEM9VGFI6GH
鬱悶何來？331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaDltDb6nk
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsB4B7H26Z
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomYyu80Fop
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9iNM9cIGG
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfRr8E17yZ
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeX1GAMhe7J
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NM7PKTQFI
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFi3x0dQM5
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCCSMnSNBl
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRG3QbzjD37
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qFdgpOT8H
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTYG1SDZIW
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJm067TnpPP
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6y55AZ8he
然後呢？根本沒有然後。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLa5ksFTijs
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZyZBAXSeW
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLO7SMrv9s
331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFofBBUueI
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。331Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLv6MHfEipu
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns3.131.13.93da2
