x
「去哪？」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOcLXVtlyj
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqH49k5cKaV
「急事。」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dErZ0WNkH
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdgXYYYdCf
「你不吃晚餐？」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jMjw7ErQv
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDARCuc2HL
我沒應答，逕自出門。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHKd2dq4Qp
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeG9rze5TyW
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJKZApkBLJ
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIVBfGY5Uf
難以言喻的鬱悶。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtXOpLBxXM
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQRGXoqAoh
長嘆。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTRwp7DZUb
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfvkHi3UgN
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAkcWbPeAy
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3EfJExBDb
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvtctXuTS8
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLm0V1wMA0
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWCkXH7t8S
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVrjOprVld
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvR2onzwjHl
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBRIsjpcsP
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdTgMl9Cwc
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1N731WZeWt
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwUSCrktLb
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhnRDFu3yo
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpNReEVUs9
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWA2oZblXk
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4z9bd9BOVF
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1VIn71gTE
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCplwmYNgY4
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6p7G0zmRW
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNABClLB9H
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeR8w3KzVLA
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFoyAJZO53
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqulb3aEvBY
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8rKAb4RlI
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IvwahQVBz
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hr6XtFZgX
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zk6EQUmRh
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIS1bWe9Cdg
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMt0T485bqO
註定的。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEPNhpZ3A2
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELzT8M5BBJ
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1uNsYkE02
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDctgkbMpSr
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ekwDYXrCP
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nd6ZCzSjI
停步。猶疑。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYEus3YNSN
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQCcxnvIrm
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyG0dAdIV8o
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2G6ilyqdxM
轉身。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaf8EKITK6
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡva6b7XXZKn
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqg1xap9ri
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvv2RkKIryq
我回身走去。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCTgMe1eEn
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUkqtDT2vn
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxqX2Aw9LD
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNd96AlTF8
把小狗抱入懷內。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CY1Ba8aLE
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FeqtlrVz3
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRNLtpMYO6
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8hbA7SzEf
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUth1oRkgo9
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoqTRqOcdN
海風？海濱公園步道？306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡox0Cs0FKOn
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8SR9vxZ5J
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dLFwI53Vk
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYn6FHG2fY
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABXVZRLeIH
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4RNxiQVsw
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4j1tWigXIs
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrBd1HYF2k
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNOuC67oA9
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlXANQRk5z
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSKb24I4Ix
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGs9rGp5lVt
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBhWt4Y05N
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvtF2r9x16
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIVD0YQBX7
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMI7tev7yJp
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCrochTU10
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtg21qa5As
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkwJnbuuUa
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUBZP32Bd6
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokVbHEZN9j
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNSH7MJRz8
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkvHg17qXC
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkhuXD0cBP
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoH57ivhwW
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHACOmpiPzp
鬱悶何來？306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRsKQxAvc0
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTrf17KUex
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfoTkcxkFu
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0na9S2NtQ
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWAafeBo6E
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscNnwDWwro
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiJg9giJZC
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7UVc8hqYr
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVJVVQgD3m
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJ7zCSvXXt
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbhrZkycXG
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCoWtbzDan
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0trDTyCQ3
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yVwzfz0KF
然後呢？根本沒有然後。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwT1vB0okQn
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrM34C192b
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQBgiUQyNT
306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXF43JCSniS
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIB8fUHQkAM
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
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