「去哪？」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ICaHSbvMy
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTM2Sf2ER6
「急事。」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgkn904wej
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8JtlLztsy
「你不吃晚餐？」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fkc94rJhg
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKPKqWuEg8
我沒應答，逕自出門。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXwEywAgSK
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJWGhg0QD8
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOq3DqyM4Xi
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWF7o5XEeyE
難以言喻的鬱悶。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJYFdV99pK
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVI0DoQBfL
長嘆。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgr0cUe5n18
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbegUVUjmOM
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43iwaa8Sfw
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GwQrtT06C
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAMX1qmdG7
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9nWcwOrzY
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbcx4IgaAd
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeU5VkXQs9
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnn2HG2ePqe
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzWgKWIsjb
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRSoyZpok9
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmFPmD5Cfa
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDdR7hukkq
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBgEENsaRq
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFPXTucxmY
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLh0Wy4IL4
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOupFXxBJl
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojrod17hmB
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SwlyZzuKs
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZ0exYGJOY
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbG3ZxIQaZG
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHOmsyxxoq
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqB5HhL8IS8
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfKkbjdAk2
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXpMocC1qf
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BvPHwq1d4
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuBSWOcBZP
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglFt7Uz3wE
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJt2Iwf5m8V
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWHKC1vKaf
註定的。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLUZwEjOKB
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6IiLTlMA4
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaCx60iIoQ
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zYmTDQFxK
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OJQagr792
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMq2vBj5Bpl
停步。猶疑。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHuNNPAaov
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiPHxInkpB
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4SNEjeuQK
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lThkCl25Y
轉身。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6YFDb28AK
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ845mrGhHB2
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUzL1tef2I
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnm8TDPL0i7
我回身走去。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxaMk0CcJVk
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCF82vsvdSa
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAz7IVTNqP
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytW1nsmmEa
把小狗抱入懷內。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvVRdt2PUG
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7H5dZtGV0l
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BuAXDOVpj
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKxCGTkjLB
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmVg80hbAt
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fe7oXboYy
海風？海濱公園步道？411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLV5DhAdGcU
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhKcWc4gkh
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzTtexfbx5
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdXPdiQpLe
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrzCowNab5
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMi4SsoGHJ
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZHlayaWlN
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CzLYbbKfk
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEdyHZ6P9B
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVqkyqfHHW
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVnIlVlyXO
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxS9UyPlS51
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBJtDknmC8
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhB9v5Iqgl
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCe5d8Ietc
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Ot4YZB3km
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMs6FxK48gB
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVuSCX2Lqx8
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mN7Hq175r
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFMSHb4NQd
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmtwsxOhFO
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2nUTzNOst
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqQcFehdFR
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNPSjTjWGb
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCexvYXBCR
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmx4XyAxnWc
鬱悶何來？411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArb6svzpvG
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLshNJDBZeI
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4cF7XKye0
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2BGtoFj8s
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8QQA6dpuh
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxeKTDKDpU
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IIq7mvDti
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rHHgbALXB
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYRMkALIqZ
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdhtmnPpwn
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRDHUJAtgH
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOb6wMtmmO
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevJnrVmDe4
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gIfVP6Sev
然後呢？根本沒有然後。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrrXAkMv4U
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrGZrxRSYL
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmftrtfjB3F
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MJHSKpkOX
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmHYwM0X9Q
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.238da2
