Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtyRIuyC7z
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To lift his spirits.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgiJ5sVep0
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmYuIhIMjd
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkvwcAqhuO
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Claude.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFeBfmNmrb
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8GEJ64X8V
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqWaOpW0dT
...531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtvtSI1RXC
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Demeter wasn't working.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhcCUDOl7H
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrZKy3W81z
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6kpKdiFPW
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7iQt0bCBC
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...531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNABFlQXZe
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"Bison."531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbYuDJ6251
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Bread is like the sun.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDm4NPX51dV
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...531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBD32BKr0Ha
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmhMZQ0jVb
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkAQRgObAs
---531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LTBad8K20
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZjsQe03GI
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3iKsOwvLg
...531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ633Ztox9pp
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Its butt.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcAs6zyOiC
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2hOss4Wd7
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpC3RBM8I6D
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...531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDbbQj9o08
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First, a tractor.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXvFTZjOps
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZePh7Oidw
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Gravy.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIpQWeZZ5Y
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9qMW36m0B
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...531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyDQ6R2QWn
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Now he's a rockstar.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUNINvRH5A
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lxRKtNGq9
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Do trees poop?531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8ElTSuUsr
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB92YaLiTh3
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jKt0UjeSI
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...531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWLFv83pCH
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CBaOCibGR
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWHFakMe43
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She couldn't control her pupils.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uvHyWM445
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What do peppers do when they're angry?531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FSaQyTpot
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...531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2GLVqq77T
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They get jalapeño face.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6huDNKUDlA
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Today someone told me I am average.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxT2aHGAjEh
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...531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduTVOB9Z8J
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I told them that's just mean.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5R1JpQawM
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzCCJ8oAB8
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...531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNO6CFAD06s
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Pointless.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFs0vXmlXfd
---531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWZhh9KEWH
Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrd0FWQV8oU
---531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SnDYrqKQK
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEThjcBwrT
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...531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3k6vyetOn
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5M5mkhTBf
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfIluD93DN
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...531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXhkcMF2nR
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I tried yesterday but I mist.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Ym4mIY3GN
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdJX4wHGYn
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...531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jfDWAkTE6
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyeYbuvQYc
---531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDk5GjCAAda
What country's capital is growing the fastest?531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxTOJ7tsgq
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...531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHbGhOpAvO
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchT49Y4d9b
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What has four wheels and flies?531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMo9kEAOa6I
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...531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0ePJfhdN5
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A garbage truck.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBCsmXUOPV
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6ABeQmIo0
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...so I pushed her over.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5v4megsvx8
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtK2jydOlk
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...531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UaZtcH8eg
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmMnZM0OVH
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531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0j7JIKxoFp
Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns216.73.216.11da2
