Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8lYfLYjzR
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To lift his spirits.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzapBnDgCs
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDDUX5G6rU
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Claude.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UZYlVTQXf
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1dHy48ACi
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...615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WJUeAS0CL
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Demeter wasn't working.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IZYoMbeHN
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2zUrzfrTS
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrpkasuyBU
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSl5vxvkQ1
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...615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Czh79JMU6
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"Bison."615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCJSbBydyo
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Bread is like the sun.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyGTRf9mwL
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGenDKj2JY
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29slJpq87r
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpN3TcoQcU
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...615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjvlgGcOi3
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Its butt.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPw6iHHuRss
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9Jkl1NtE2
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrUPlxeKpP
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...615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgO6Sbt3CuM
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First, a tractor.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlVS0E183J
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiiwIKjMLE
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Gravy.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIu5ODU0r6o
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3kIcPxepH
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...615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcJKct1N6E
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Now he's a rockstar.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5iVb7lJKE
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqSLjeH2Cy
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Do trees poop?615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSu6jwh2x8k
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfi6O9TIWB
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGjm7ZFw0W
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...615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2rBsP8mgp
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfW0e7XSW6O
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6Zw0qFkGb
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She couldn't control her pupils.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33hejqtqeR
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What do peppers do when they're angry?615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyYGolPgea
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...615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ906WdPllGR
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They get jalapeño face.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvjzlze0ab
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Today someone told me I am average.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJWs7Spq1F
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...615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19uipQz6xs
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I told them that's just mean.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQTbKXvfua
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7FyFlzkJo
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...615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBvq2CtyKS
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Pointless.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQNYB5JxrT
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNncDSjGLN1
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5AuBuh9bY
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...615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXCZ8gHqsu
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOvh7TUGJS
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVN8pqHwAyD
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I tried yesterday but I mist.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJE5T5VEqG7
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWwnESbZ6n
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVd5x4D9M3u
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnT7mTZyfF
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...615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5N4ACpgHS
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz41fYriMmB
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What has four wheels and flies?615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2D06BkA5C
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A garbage truck.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6heusffFAy
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6fKMvIKR2
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...so I pushed her over.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUQvKETTuy
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYjsQj4sKl
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.615Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQ7BU6Jufo
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
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