Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCOECACi3Q
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwDqcAtMaq
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QH1GVNx09
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To lift his spirits.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpYxa97PHr
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcIuJZSs3A
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8el1c09qY
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUThXkwwkKU
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Claude.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUj6Hmo83lk
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2CZkXngMi
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0g2K5WKfV
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpSqPrg1R6
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Demeter wasn't working.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu92J8EUsGM
---559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7s1hij9Ym
Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MdoAqGkH1
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHlDVtVNPE
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahGVVu6AS8
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSEnlp5hZl
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFvPTo85i6
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"Bison."559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlwTD408yZ
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Bread is like the sun.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrXJWGxDjQ
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtPhpQG2Zi
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHuoJLUyE6u
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpDQj4R7t9
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYt8hyaCdYP
---559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdCNhxjCVL
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsyhNjIBIk
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2eoMoaoyR
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfHK3aalxw
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Its butt.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5wrGixVkG
---559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQcwacRmyh
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXeqgXIi5K
---559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbId6UeUvZf
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7urmBDnFg0
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtmjR2fTD6
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzV1nQtcRya
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First, a tractor.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bjBEq4GwU
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGUEFazpsZ
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPzCGsaotO
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Gravy.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4C2fzaxEB
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWeZiUtftk
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvElvqFKHf
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUfyOl2K7J
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Now he's a rockstar.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesm9Ogawaj
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRK2XyAY2Yj
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Do trees poop?559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRSDjvoH4N
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqixBtzz3V
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriIpZy1RvI
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2Jn9SUMIc
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCeZidooUo
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJD1y9SAgJ
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCq7tIcI6W0
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAdpyCofwL
A "do-you-think-he-saurus."559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyerfTs7Nuy
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFvyuAwwip
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmbt9H7FXY
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6O5udg59b
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She couldn't control her pupils.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCU9ZTI29B
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What do peppers do when they're angry?559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLY41yB6JY2
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqulvnId0b
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeocVC6auGK
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They get jalapeño face.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4s3sgXxrH
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Today someone told me I am average.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GKfbkzKWC
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBacw1YnAES
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTS3UEwUM1
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I told them that's just mean.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdJEut41Le
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3t1eOCuaDf
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvVG8Noypt
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwl2EE2DHVV
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Pointless.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0yP13POw0
---559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6nTpBgy1k
Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sLF2pndDo
---559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfgzpfBn9i
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QojJifL1G
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlQ7K2LnxR
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZz5FyQsaZr
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJttBaSrY73
---559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7f6j2QZxo
Have you ever tried to catch fog?559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGVrEyvtGB
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHsAuT6k91
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4CvgWfSs5
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCC1k44dRY1
I tried yesterday but I mist.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOdJBMCjt5
---559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwY9qiF2q3E
Why can't you ever run through a campsite?559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWNRkD0XOE
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kYDZn7Uqs
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IiOTiMZye
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcOc0Tygsu
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3lMfpwUGd
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGzmwm3Xqf
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlv2h52OKX1
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvRQKj8XrG
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePvX5ThySz
---559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Muta5ZJyX
What has four wheels and flies?559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmqxc7pdrC
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8baLt4gvuO
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeY3B3C9Nq4
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIryhIEr9t
A garbage truck.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJsfxdePQo
---559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3jBq6bg0i
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiJQ1ppn0Q
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5LM16Y98Z
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIonSTwhMI
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...so I pushed her over.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsCxoc5TZg
---559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1y6Vxz2E7
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdVppqSFzC
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JmgdSUgQw
...559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVv76nj5kL9
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHl4hv3Fp8U
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559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtESF12PqNR
Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns216.73.216.210da2
