Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcnkmROvMm
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To lift his spirits.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJR48kfFS9F
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlNQf0BXjS
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Claude.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9PHPkiX6B
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIXdbXwZP5
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Demeter wasn't working.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5sAPkZysg
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngYFn7d95v
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkv2RpOwR9
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2nnf9kD5j
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...529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2NV4K7Odn
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"Bison."529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrIMNNBnxl
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Bread is like the sun.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1cxcqiKsr
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvFf7BXBVe
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOaUP410tRO
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqKRp0YmyW
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Its butt.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiLeAveBJx
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZiBKdZjkT
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LcukHTKcc
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First, a tractor.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikAO8m8bk5
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFdQcTi8aU
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Gravy.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafHV5A1Ke7
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7ovHt93kq
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Now he's a rockstar.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQVV0AnHiE
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9bqbMfD2C
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Do trees poop?529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sZZWipvJ2
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNET8Jc2lyT
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zWnwOK3FZ
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...529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7ZuDPvCr0
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVG3nyxcbPD
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcjUwLVQeg
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She couldn't control her pupils.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIyk5Pz813
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What do peppers do when they're angry?529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMFCcoD5D0
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They get jalapeño face.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaNrSiWGy5
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Today someone told me I am average.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiItfmjYE7Q
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I told them that's just mean.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkWMHQHEeG
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTAcActJ6e
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Pointless.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlk7Prt1Xn1
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKSZad4c2y
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrh5C9AzfL3
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHnxr5frCi
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBlorjod7Y
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I tried yesterday but I mist.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07ICFuc4MA
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmRaowtmZZ
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTCoEA9APX
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78yJ8VdhVo
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILLOJ4HpnU
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What has four wheels and flies?529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2lHJ5PGQr
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A garbage truck.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6akxdvG1hm
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPMZNGCT26
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...so I pushed her over.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPXQonqoS7
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTHatL5TPx
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.529Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ny0SCE3x9
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns216.73.216.0da2
