Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEomqOuEps
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...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4R6urIcfKm
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To lift his spirits.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaKNov5TOs
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffFxomvlBK
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUo53tzLug
...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0VBWCeYXE
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Claude.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfDGPF6E0c
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSak815SOt
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdw98G0Aiy7
...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTfSwVRq0W
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Demeter wasn't working.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekwXiYTWcu
---581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDstT9CUkD
Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpZLhSgv6f
---581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzEaHrAIuc
Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDkmhwOyiu
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWMmbDwCD6
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSSHCb8qA9
...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbMzrIngNV
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52tfygS7mI
"Bison."581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaxc5s6fo9
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Bread is like the sun.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkjWZfLI9U
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtosz9G1A0Y
...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sAJCwu3kC
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeRTiuqvkK
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTiNAHM8dD
---581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpM75RhgJv
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKPoaTJWTg
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KajKtomm5
...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbyrIQv7b2
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Its butt.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtAWhwBkTi
---581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysiiiXi72A
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYaJas8f7i
---581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zqhUuiOR8
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQG1yQt9Jez
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVHxt9ykPT
...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52DexafZsN
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First, a tractor.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpp6D9ohPq
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjafQDAb6rm
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnvLrFCBvg
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8iaHIN5T9
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Gravy.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5N0IZaoxR
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VpkWFyNYd
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58O8SlZw5t
...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlIAhTvEUX
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Now he's a rockstar.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OVMUKSjIp
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFKuWyJslA
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Do trees poop?581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNj95I0s4Z
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...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQF2n0KCp3
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhMsN7nJKc
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Yk2J85PBZ
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHP5INzVvVH
...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaFaRyz1Fv
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxcfaCCcKC
---581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssCsXCGCrS
Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWczfnHWCx
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGNex1PAh7
...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17EpxQgq1o
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GjcQ2PsKi
She couldn't control her pupils.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2ia61NZo7
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What do peppers do when they're angry?581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwh2lnfMFk
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwTPUBhk4R
...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa32EQvuskk
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They get jalapeño face.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPo6ushjxep
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Today someone told me I am average.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4be9GY2nD
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jWblTDSKE
...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0aWpIWI5i
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I told them that's just mean.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1slQniz4vS
---581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWYwYuZl2I
What do you call a pencil with two erasers?581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlLAvACkVp
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IFKqbtedQ
...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWA5kO2Ri94
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Pointless.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7bLrdOwsM
---581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9dz0gfdP4
Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgy4wgXGba
---581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05NvYz88pM
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHlTmeKBrW
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rYE6PhprA
...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkciDv1xpCI
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVn9t1N2NB
He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1jldCXYHo
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6riz7QqMI
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMQ7CExGCX
...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZqefwdpJ5
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I tried yesterday but I mist.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1ZIfB3chp
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKk58OxSyd
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44lPbQMowI
...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcIPXg1tko
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWGtIsqmgj
You can only ran—it's always past tents.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzjyYF0kRv
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4NzEWOP25
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAq0EzMHlWY
...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOOjVrVYpB
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9QrVPIHVl
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZoRwPxRFl
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What has four wheels and flies?581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6kFiMpSGn
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fSfWoSzMq
...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrLo4ws4x0
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcK9WA1zxAy
A garbage truck.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BA4un0Mg6
---581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCckkc3uyF
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIKoR1J6Ct
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNw2BoMI7Km
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBOCi4lKEQ
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGahv0yDwJy
...so I pushed her over.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BurhmfIWB
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkq0hKSeer
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtG7uZykSaP
...581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKCsBunvJa
581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWM5KQMZv4
If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rwFsZ5grJ
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581Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5j5Ak3uGh
Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns216.73.216.12da2
