「你還可以嗎？」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhn3C5cpF7Z
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcftALKmQZ
「無法不可以。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT24pJBqVTx
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIY8oVy0YZ
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdajJGwzkJp
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwiFXVFZI5
「謝謝你。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eFtI35ouX
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16DTDBlj48
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69XtQUvuFV
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZIE1vNsgZ
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5yDu9OF0r
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvqgQRcXkD
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHo82xqbwh
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYTClu4d31
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1pJfqZ2vG
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNM999koO7
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GpgVibBLk
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQHUaG5vOQ
「老婆……」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDKJs8jgtk
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwymcVAXn3
「有困難？金錢？」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOxJupSCoy
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8ZJl7GXhG
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRtA3CsFxc
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMDbV3Odmh
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvv6yujtRiC
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSRpjH29Ie
「嗯。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQ1FbWYhbf
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWaG4b0lpq
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXY0kmacA8E
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qKIhRr3PP
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczyfx0cPr5
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJXzmWvRRs
無能。無力。無奈。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gFATt8swT
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleugj1tAv9
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKloMNq7fK
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2RE4wMJnz
剪不斷，理還亂。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn27fpitkzy
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGcQtZJ2H6
勿剪，別理。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfF6aHjvFq
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtUkWBFqjB
待時日將其化解。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrXwMRftej
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRV6LsgzCvv
莫操心。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dBvWEhhhS
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXc1chZ5n9
莫操心？718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEdnFPcbvs
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUtonPgPyM
如何莫操心？718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMBfO4XqB0
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAh6AeD27bb
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUxtGNdL4G
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWvFkYluB6
撐多久？如何撐？718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoAOofgGeJ
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjVieByJry
不知道……718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6ZA9Dxl5C
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CIXArmCoM
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggc4f7OOdO
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNaiFeJX5u
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mJaxv525s
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJjucA3JNr
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcArPo61kKP
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9e0hTqWXJ
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKIoPht55h
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53DlEEs5Ni
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILvDGaDfVo
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKWmNTRlyO
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqPrn01zvz
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpI9os4pHq
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkCZiAtGRB
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntn68dLRY4
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OjOLXVkbG
我笑。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOFvL1LosL
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGPSsqhOwO
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdSUZAobd1
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIpAeBvrP5
忽爾不想回家。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUlzlEFZfc
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRHP14D1OO
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzY27anFaEU
「好的。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6HSZxKjEU
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MyqXPOo17
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvjl9TsiL7
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirBHCC26tb
只會苦了自己。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEFGr7u8Or
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aVIEMrL8c
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZF7pGniL1L
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlIzj7IYA4
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgYs0Ji6Hs
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRtWK3eeKX
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLbhjpnpMq
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIZ8PuwLXh
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3dlYtnqsO
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvaJsYUWVW
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtPtO5Uovz
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfNoqreJ5W
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODauTxOZ1B
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4NMBZ1BhV
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1Atj6q8Oa
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJllrGO4dE
一、二、三、四、五……718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWD60VJtfJI
註：718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9r6yKYfoV
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DTJXz97tf
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGB6ISS8tlG
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97xI38B2SW
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtnzql49op
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOfw62ZgnP
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnenKaeyat7
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIagBlvQtp
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTrXcJHZJn
