「你還可以嗎？」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlblXAFIsK
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71wbR7cS34
「無法不可以。」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWZnF9EleJ
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRJKFODgNN
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuBOjKUAja
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbkLtwbN0c
「謝謝你。」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hxTfW0NUY
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0TnKlaFj4
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUluWnU7MM
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6dQ9Y0iyI
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7UDhbAaGS
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JW6jZOJdw
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8WnoxJtdl
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtl2CiBRPj
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0au3adnXn
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbULyUANBLk
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7x0t0X1qy
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEgYsjUzNO
「老婆……」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGxd4oOYBn
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5smj8Tp8p
「有困難？金錢？」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxb9fgG0c6
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvQnqMAn9Q
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwk4NiuSTz
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yMmDlr9KK
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIZPRO3kBn
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOSccrGrpi
「嗯。」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqa2mtKJyMD
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOiAfNlWmQ
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU44Az3p8gH
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3j9PmKMJ5H
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCCZ5tPtAa
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kk7t1BH2B
無能。無力。無奈。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GwbpzUccZ
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7UtaSiL4H
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RuGOj3HT3
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRI0WP5Egmo
剪不斷，理還亂。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dhUsgMEtk
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3TMHy2mLr
勿剪，別理。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNArdobtAI
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YtjLuNAt3
待時日將其化解。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33viby3TFA
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt36eqmqptM
莫操心。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jXrFzroXV
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLaxkm9V9u
莫操心？687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUvIUv2xVT
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzxXPVZSpK
如何莫操心？687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMGs5c4UTp
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZCPhFymiV
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2A2maGh2ei
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRCkPSL1Sm
撐多久？如何撐？687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZf6H2JckJl
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ycTr7lHkI
不知道……687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugl5bBSGmC
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgm06zkSiQO
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XnxExX3aj
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfJ8JxfnIh
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBXoRHSnCA
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTe7eDgzA9
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLI5Tj3o1d3
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr62EAxoiuw
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9nHxzM48W
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCswkTrGVY1
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDog8pithmh
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6L6AXinyvk
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYmE1iiXFO
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNindSnz1Y
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1T5x4GVGiP
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTl1lRuIPG
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczaMW99MUX
我笑。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0baGYygZS
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UEBmQSKNY
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PfIIeSJTW
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODsjGweCZT
忽爾不想回家。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUywvqqAxfu
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBdizSzj41
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQVuGbNoV4
「好的。」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFrYSI4ZKN
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bJGIe6V3H
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSy6sDcI6z
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyv9m78EW4
只會苦了自己。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdern5ntoBd
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxO8SV0Y0zv
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgHWz3rZ0D
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIwTpoA8jJ
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLneKS8mHPg
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOZznxiAOs
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBp7gxahex
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItqDvMz2zX
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagF7erZSUZ
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOHt6J3v95
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZvHhkNQKD
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4WgIGvdsN
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXEYZpppvy
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3RcvZIj0c
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClQnqGZZWi
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5khZSv8LS
一、二、三、四、五……687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpO0xyClqdr
註：687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xw0lRXf51
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9yU26vAvI
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmk3buPyB8
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbX0fzoTXT
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2JxV9GxHa
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDubNsYtym
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KHkfzafDV
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSOgi2pYF5
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHBIg5BD0G
