「你還可以嗎?」717Please respect copyright.PENANAB4VlvQIhyC
717Please respect copyright.PENANA9z2nLBVM3V
「無法不可以。」717Please respect copyright.PENANAh0LufgGzM9
717Please respect copyright.PENANA8Ule86zCUP
「如需幫忙,來找我吧。」717Please respect copyright.PENANAb3DQbuva9F
717Please respect copyright.PENANAVv1bnGQwva
「謝謝你。」717Please respect copyright.PENANAt6HkIr3dpa
717Please respect copyright.PENANA8zEfhoDWy9
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯,概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱,一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙,我除了感激,更多的是恥感。717Please respect copyright.PENANA1LpUGUZmwm
717Please respect copyright.PENANAKFBQJ086Ki
唉!多講無謂,反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。717Please respect copyright.PENANApf4nZVw3hR
717Please respect copyright.PENANAkDwmvvutku
疫情關係,全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子,早已節衣縮食,積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著:工作日數減半意味薪金減半。717Please respect copyright.PENANAobJbrgfg6Z
717Please respect copyright.PENANA89knASCFcY
供樓開支無法削減,父母醫療開支不能削,孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……717Please respect copyright.PENANA88VvAByVRM
717Please respect copyright.PENANAIyuYqciVTd
飯後,兩老早睡,兒女溫習,妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。717Please respect copyright.PENANA52LcxnyXnN
717Please respect copyright.PENANAmA3Y4Yxq8a
「老婆……」717Please respect copyright.PENANAluQoaI0KCH
717Please respect copyright.PENANAQhB9SrtP9Z
「有困難?金錢?」717Please respect copyright.PENANAdyx7NI8CRC
717Please respect copyright.PENANAnVK64edfWj
妻子搶佔發言先機,內心不安的我更覺虛怯。717Please respect copyright.PENANA3njJIyCGYe
717Please respect copyright.PENANA9Uv0uyULQk
「是。明天開始,只需星期二、四上班。」717Please respect copyright.PENANAQ1e5EvajP1
717Please respect copyright.PENANAyijU0uLw4M
「嗯。」717Please respect copyright.PENANANkhrqxQvOJ
717Please respect copyright.PENANAgNZtjoNemR
妻子沒再多話,專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外,卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實,也就只得接受和硬撐,呼天搶地無補於事。717Please respect copyright.PENANA4nOey91P0c
717Please respect copyright.PENANAabzx7yUHnY
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。717Please respect copyright.PENANAJ9Hq9najRh
717Please respect copyright.PENANA4m0rao50qe
無能。無力。無奈。717Please respect copyright.PENANAGVbNabfsTc
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千思萬緒化作團團亂線。717Please respect copyright.PENANAObZh6dfNN9
717Please respect copyright.PENANAhuNMYs7axG
剪不斷,理還亂。717Please respect copyright.PENANAEvEWa4nrS6
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勿剪,別理。717Please respect copyright.PENANAzifaEMpBj3
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待時日將其化解。717Please respect copyright.PENANAK4okBk9njj
717Please respect copyright.PENANAmTz5n7MxuQ
莫操心。717Please respect copyright.PENANAvfhcNMrTsR
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莫操心?717Please respect copyright.PENANA7xnGQZXUcq
717Please respect copyright.PENANApLx2tjodXM
如何莫操心?717Please respect copyright.PENANAsCor3TpF5l
717Please respect copyright.PENANArItwSmkhrQ
我知道困境必定會過去,但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。717Please respect copyright.PENANAq9r3Y4CAoz
717Please respect copyright.PENANAGSRWZyd5zA
撐多久?如何撐?717Please respect copyright.PENANAbcRPFBFEKa
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不知道……717Please respect copyright.PENANAvKMFmH5lms
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減,辦公室冷清不少。717Please respect copyright.PENANALg88FhRxzk
717Please respect copyright.PENANARCXHy11gmN
有人若無其事,有人變得寡言,有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何,公司繼續營運,世界繼續運轉。717Please respect copyright.PENANA9DHki2iDMp
717Please respect copyright.PENANAZnfMisqFsJ
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞,骨瘦如柴,神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物,飢腸轆轆。絕望?誰管你的!天地蒼茫,白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在,北極仍是北極,我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。717Please respect copyright.PENANAy2HIfCEJx4
717Please respect copyright.PENANAqjWsjfnaTI
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸,白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯,菜心苦黃,排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧!不了,豉油不是必需品,不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。717Please respect copyright.PENANADuy5xDJqPE
717Please respect copyright.PENANAUs96hpld3h
下班時間,加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量,也不代表工作進度可以放慢。717Please respect copyright.PENANAyGw47rHgMO
717Please respect copyright.PENANARSMeJ0zyVA
每次想及時間、日子,位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼:它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了;它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目,接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來;它在教導我人生大道理,一寸光陰一吋金,吋金難買寸光陰,更何況加班沒有加班費……717Please respect copyright.PENANAnR3sqpV4TJ
717Please respect copyright.PENANAtameI7Hmy0
關機,正式下班。心情太壞,說服不了自己留下來。回首,同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解,但無法奉陪到底。717Please respect copyright.PENANAGZV8Ogqm63
717Please respect copyright.PENANAPP4IBBAlMZ
大街上,人影疏落,商店無燈。車站無人,想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃,在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花,演唱會螢光棒,無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸,床頭小燈,被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控,只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累?是吧。717Please respect copyright.PENANAWkSM5DfSjk
717Please respect copyright.PENANAAcP45AVYej
我笑。717Please respect copyright.PENANAWzW1nZ0Dn5
717Please respect copyright.PENANAJBFuDdfqbE
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。717Please respect copyright.PENANA4IQukAS7E8
717Please respect copyright.PENANAoKYczAPo8p
忽爾不想回家。717Please respect copyright.PENANAP5PxKIvwnJ
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」717Please respect copyright.PENANANJoDpOYN7h
717Please respect copyright.PENANAR3bTdJgBNX
「好的。」717Please respect copyright.PENANAXLFJbtrJPX
717Please respect copyright.PENANA8b3gs6eXpe
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵,皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥,微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從?是否只得接受?不順從又如何?不接受又如何?717Please respect copyright.PENANAeQl1q3aYah
717Please respect copyright.PENANA3sZicb1mv2
只會苦了自己。717Please respect copyright.PENANApeETO4Jwh3
717Please respect copyright.PENANAnFwamcZJlF
努力改變過,極力掙扎過,然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。717Please respect copyright.PENANASGMD926ug1
717Please respect copyright.PENANA42cIKcdDjo
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。717Please respect copyright.PENANAaeTrCJUa4H
717Please respect copyright.PENANA2pGxZR3ZBg
浴後,睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著,光源自窗外滲入,剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲,以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子,如怪物,如鬼魅。717Please respect copyright.PENANAku55b8ZRHt
717Please respect copyright.PENANAknxcjq6Mpn
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題?」717Please respect copyright.PENANAywTae3DITZ
717Please respect copyright.PENANAPlC5NIwyL4
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」717Please respect copyright.PENANACkB90kHWiS
717Please respect copyright.PENANAzIq1U0qEet
妻子乾笑一聲,側身面窗睡去。717Please respect copyright.PENANAGjqetC3tVs
717Please respect copyright.PENANA5GAqF8frdC
我實在笑不出口,呆望天花數蟲子。717Please respect copyright.PENANAn7H9ZsNuDx
717Please respect copyright.PENANAypxKmeRVhw
一、二、三、四、五……717Please respect copyright.PENANA8ClpwWZH7M
註:717Please respect copyright.PENANAkcdcC1XOng
717Please respect copyright.PENANAvIi4gF4OVd
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢?」717Please respect copyright.PENANAhG1yw64Nqh
717Please respect copyright.PENANAEPNMCJTh3r
我認為大家除了關於物質上(例如金錢、生活質素)、生理上(例如生命、健康)及心理上(安全感、與親友相聚的快樂)的失去,還有自我認同(例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判)的失去。717Please respect copyright.PENANAU5O2vunfuk
717Please respect copyright.PENANAEvhvYSFc2P
未必關乎大是大非,每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓,足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害?誰知道。717Please respect copyright.PENANAn4nDydseyl
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***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》717Please respect copyright.PENANAFDfPOf7wGd