「你還可以嗎？」680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1NOP1X1Zn
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk96ZD8gg3F
「無法不可以。」680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOieNOUYv5
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWjmonCk7S
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHbswMfXRE
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpLxxP7DGV
「謝謝你。」680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwxRXZulWk
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehAvlQ8QSa
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlVG792cau
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwvrxDGzya
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHyZY22pW4
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WTNuGTGal
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTm45SIzIgt
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbrKPlAr90
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3EVgn1U76
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUrvKi7p9v
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3qIegqvYQ
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wpnw8sdVY
「老婆……」680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0COTuRfyPF
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBIcRrXKgG
「有困難？金錢？」680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBZYlFxMEJ
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1erKJDbySo
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmwzp1kszv
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GYRCyfmEo
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZimKQwIrn
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78356M9nN1
「嗯。」680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAkUOcGK55
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1uasli3jr
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49MA0kB6O1
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxS495GMpr
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrLG8pr5y8
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayEucRVJp6
無能。無力。無奈。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOrzCe9JNt
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVUHmLwaIO
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp16h5vcHoD
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wD2H4QgO2
剪不斷，理還亂。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphKVFkpc4r
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5I23EYHAse
勿剪，別理。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstpikRjTN5
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kcgu9bQlu
待時日將其化解。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsYdU56jzy
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYtaoo0BT6
莫操心。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtunVSLbhJO
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdN7ulBgmnE
莫操心？680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8Wdoy6VlZ
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtXttyS9t8
如何莫操心？680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdcsF6iBQW
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7sQUynz7y
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7Zss6CpTD
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82IYabrl4c
撐多久？如何撐？680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxv3ZmVTnGw
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrr30jrVFg
不知道……680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDfJs00USo
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4voUMj5cvO
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEQ1B9DqnJ
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErsmcGfcRM
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabAApXDh7W
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZG8BacT2U
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2PqgRoZyZ
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB48Og0rwEm
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPW8Knjj3no
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYsPJrZAFm
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmh6xxusUF
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFJOA4xMIb
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSDKhB9PoI
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡog8CRuOwJo
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqy68Wthu1
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUOXfPgUa7
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFCGMHy2FP
我笑。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlsEuexd8u
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkErChW2Ea
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2qDrnFKyG
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yiU4aaDML
忽爾不想回家。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4MninGe6n
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASCcfvlfjA
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrxjv92IxQ
「好的。」680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdXQfBw5fZ
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5IaR3E25V
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljphCryBDd
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOki9WXnd0O
只會苦了自己。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iDus6en4r
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGrs05ylV5
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWHL6JRST9
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vJe8JTBbh
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFs8sFDfSzF
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmKdkXwgP7
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJYxR1FVHm
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqGf5vKhaG
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVO4eEF1IX
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2A5oFeAkG
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xognU7A71
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OWwMUJ1Qz
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIugbVWKKW
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn431fcwVXL
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIFc1aUHXP
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8PLjP63Zv
一、二、三、四、五……680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYq0NOiKF5
註：680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWWOn9OuQO
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1quTjLUOGM
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7dbLRZiMf
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoivkwO9uwf
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmiwPC5ZPa
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNoy5YZ9sR
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bTpD2PPOe
680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2rtmXuYyX
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》680Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZPXS8i2SN
