「你還可以嗎？」668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcuyk9rkG1
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMNe2JfMS4
「無法不可以。」668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIrRf2kzqh
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFQLGNtdq1
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wRrv66Bru
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbbHKBAarC
「謝謝你。」668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpqA6q5GlS
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡan6r6fpy5E
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2WWjXtnif
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttivbRnMFP
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oGkoXHNie
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vA1vM8ehX
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrU8ZhSze4w
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHsTUWhXXc
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hoJ4ipraP
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Srr6uL9Id
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdzR7v8MMK
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGI3wSVitrn
「老婆……」668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSdNMgPjEh
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcA7KLX6R0
「有困難？金錢？」668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIGgBUN4rQ
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORiZH0NKso
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45lhxwHF3I
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1pli0ZFXV
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOv0RMa46Ek
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEEgy3rlwW
「嗯。」668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vkPGzgAz2
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEjqznbVEO
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZv7yazC36X
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmArlV7drH
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmIgRNHmFa
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7iwaxXzo2
無能。無力。無奈。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpoiUw7hnJ
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uWx2dn2gB
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJVKPQKSJp
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyUVnBByDa
剪不斷，理還亂。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3IXV6EvBJ
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xGSp8JEPj
勿剪，別理。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkXafR0ZvK
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLQaNkoT0G
待時日將其化解。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OoJNLziNk
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxL5LGMIr9
莫操心。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZPakoT8aL
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFf69GEEY0
莫操心？668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuvEUgVPNZ
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YaiaaNC9g
如何莫操心？668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jJgpSYIJW
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjheDkHaL1
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFZ5xRv4z2
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOU53y9EWy
撐多久？如何撐？668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2Nezbm0Wn
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkIGgtskre
不知道……668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVumjiYvOto
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNHPLvdexk
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PNe3oi069
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrPOchntOr
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdxWP3SfAp
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rWYNq59Eq
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftRxHYLmZA
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduIyVhchDV
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyZQ7uiKRS
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtiRDpnsvW
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjS4xPAfgL
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUb9t5yPov
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBsnQlrlxk
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSRzA5h6zM
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeCOn1NdxW
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN87IcVOehz
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdE8qNE6puM
我笑。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LOeP1Q1eH
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAe8u0jmMvp
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXZ5grpvbW
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8ggIiEMK0
忽爾不想回家。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzffrUz8l2
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsBYltCEQ6
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw44f6gs21D
「好的。」668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg18umbAqvO
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxKI0OnSEm
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBQlyEYcf3
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7unybbFsPW
只會苦了自己。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KPifZ0wQ4
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyyHGco7tR
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfeLsUrmuE2
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkY4YqCqqZO
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIq5CkzMxc
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtUWssJUy8
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxgk7fAJcl
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXApWuy9Om7
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHenEE3T9Pc
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZi3OXgqSZ
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGhYa0Kdpg
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDlEwhDWdK
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLFi8t8inT
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemIgJUEEz8
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡen7q6TtEyz
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Nj5nubeIf
一、二、三、四、五……668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lmCzYyueJ
註：668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyMqZ13qfu
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1aUkWynVC
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpMz0HlbRN
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5PSPPFpqE
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VdGx9DXk4
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMlsuMZk0l
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBGLoVgkuc
668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1RCkcGJcT
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeFSlT9HVQ
