「你還可以嗎？」647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaS5pOgcMET
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCYErxOVHH
「無法不可以。」647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLYrwvd1yl
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfzaLxWdKN
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPayI21Y3zM
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCDdwfhZHq
「謝謝你。」647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHfYLIORbj
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfoZKp41zJ
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Id0pHfDjG
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8sUKecpju
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCaEoMhVUH
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2mnIbvJwy
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbchZk5QXJG
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLEUuqP0Pp
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoq35V7T9J
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxA5sDpus9
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpb75pJXLf
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tkpGGjaB5
「老婆……」647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHQ9wTqa91
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkb7QbyYlQ
「有困難？金錢？」647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxlrwqRljT
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIFxkf4DHI
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0dxFmQ3YC
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFsuSQuRid
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQFlzh3VVI
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1THHNTmxa
「嗯。」647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DpAP6NPmk
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy34SQYJUfD
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WcfanHhlb
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtJuLxtnsI
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlt5lkglZbL
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4aZe1yjfp
無能。無力。無奈。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aGGWHq78L
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPL3VFJJvl
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Zy9ilUaJl
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdUBGvJCKN
剪不斷，理還亂。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjxb2b7moH
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZOXUrXIVp
勿剪，別理。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLd8k6VsV0
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BT5qLphq2
待時日將其化解。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDZ3f0Kae2
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mNabqYsoE
莫操心。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBZE7ykqLl
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hJpzOeWwO
莫操心？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCvKy4ygZX
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZNbQbQ3cF
如何莫操心？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzqXwqyhQ8
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7oJUejaQp
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02CiZDWNLn
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YGLBCxUjy
撐多久？如何撐？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54c2Us3OyM
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5uzLOg926
不知道……647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdDt8AU59W
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqxNLQ1Vlr
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVuZJCeFJa
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3V19Gx0LM
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODszvIBVXc
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkktlFyzNz
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgm4VfjlNV
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVuXEyGeScN
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxScIpyqcb
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7M5yWEkM3
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1BujXzixU
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZoSDGGSde
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiDJKVVWPd
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4IrUPjp6y
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4s6mjw5ln
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTcgCLfkSy
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvWnsjnPd1
我笑。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxi8mLkI3rf
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxn3aeqHwo
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrt6KAe4Jah
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkE6yFFax2
忽爾不想回家。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvO7VbHus6Z
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJswUMjBSK
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2KbkyCjWK
「好的。」647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsWLbG9D4e
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0ttLVmaba
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZ9AMGDx9c
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7lpfHIfmO
只會苦了自己。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYjRHxTgDf
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ464haLfFb4
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkaS8wyvD1
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKROhn0aii
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IciyLVdtp
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpiA5LXCrS
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmWmjZkLPb
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIL4u3eDSUe
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9MvqbvS0k
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinz8tK2KNJ
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjRPaflrHX
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HQ9NKwDdh
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLuWSaHG3t
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKoALF4HYq
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDEPdZbu1Q
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJA1Nz0Fg2W
一、二、三、四、五……647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVD1RCJQCH
註：647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKAJJUEcP0
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmViLxuatPb
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnzmHmSkA2
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tTu5mFpVV
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGosdX4ztjH
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXo3OSSDJwg
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPwBafeNJQ
647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfqt4Y2W1l
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》647Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYL3omlwGqm
