It was a VERY strong wind that day, and I absolutely swear to god that none of it was my fault. Seriously, guys. It was the WIND that knocked my umbrella into that dork's face. And his coffee fell too, rolling away. I explicitly articulated my most SINCEREST apologies and how I was just as much publicly humiliated as him.
"What is wrong with you-- I'm Gabe by the way--," he took my gloved hand to shake before returning to his nuclear meltdown. "--And what is wrong with you, coming out of nowhere, a ninja slash cat monkey assaulting my vulnerability, battering me to a pulp, leaving me struggling within in an inch of my life. I have asthma, you brute. Precious people like me die from wheezing. How dare you."
"I am MIRANDA," I shrug at Gabe. "Guess I am TOO MUCH of a woman for you."1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEYyGuIZry
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With the last word, I STRUT away. A minute later, it grew apparent he won't let that happen. He ran to my side, stammering and BLUBBERING like a fool.1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyByZpuEOWb
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"Now, just wait a gosh-darned second here!" Gabe raised a finger. I kept a straight face when inside I just wanted to LOL. "You still owe me coffee-- and for mangling my face-- who knows if I ever see you again."1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVy1LdRluZY
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"I did not MANGLE your face! The wind did! Your face is not mangled, your face is perfectly FINE!" I huffed, realizing we stood outside the cafe. "I am being blackmailed and entrapped. I am not okay with it!"1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HGWOojxs3
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The clouds roared back, and rain shattered. I fought with the umbrella.1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6JMT6M6MM
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"So it's a date!" Gabe shouted over the hysteria. 1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfgs6JTHom
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"NO. GOODBYE FOREVER." I stormed off into the storm, wrestling with the umbrella and the wind. It took until the stoplight when Gabe ran up at the moment the wind grew VERY strong again. I swear to god, it was NOT ME the first time and it was STILL not me the second time. SMACK.1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWxFIAsyrr
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The umbrella slapped Gabe ... again. I SHRIEKED in horror.1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVVzWs3WfM
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"What is wrong with you-- ," Gabe said as the pedestrian sign lit up and chased me across the splashing street. "-- I think I'm bleeding! Am I bleeding? My poor mangled face. You may rob me of my coffee and my dignity but you can't get rid of me that easy, infernal murderess. A menace to society, I say! We are all in danger!"
"Then stay FAR away from me!" 1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWGDybbQSv
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Gabe took my gloved hand, and at that moment our hair rose. White lightning struck -- shocking us both. We keeled over, tased and jolted in waves until it was over. We glanced at each other with fresh and cooked eyes. Smoke steamed from our bodies. Boots were knocked from our feet. We marveled that we were electrocuted and somehow miraculously survived. I nodded, "Okay... Coffee sounds good right now..."1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kdUAfOaUm
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"So it's a date, Miranda," Gabe said, pleased. "That is spectacular."1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSTt2n63YG
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"It is NOT a date," I insisted. "This is strictly normal and boring. People get hit by lightning all the time, Gabe."1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCixy0q9TR
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"And you're buying!" He pointed an accusing finger.1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7gEU65TmC
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"No, if anything it is YOU who are buying," I bickered. 1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKv02U5PK1
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"If I'm buying, ergo it's a date."1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZXf3ryyPK
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"NOPE. WRONG. Regardless of someone buying, it is NOT--"1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcgI5rSpgj
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We got struck by white lightning twice and wound up in the hospital, in the same room, with a curtain drawn between us. We spent hours staring at the ceiling arguing whose fault it was and how awful the coffee were here.1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6E0lmtRqZn
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Then his voice stopped. I looked at the curtain, hearing a droning flatline. I tore the curtain back. He was off the machine, leaning in for a kiss.1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgje6RtTwT
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"Kiss me?" 1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyA1VaUeJ2
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It was so OBVIOUS he was going to be my husband.1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5PM1OU8x0
So OBVIOUS he was going to be the father of my child.1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTwfrrNeIS
Gabe. That sweet dork. How can I not love him? 1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYvP7IhHsL
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"No, you kiss me," I said. His eyes closed, as if to melt.
In our hospital gowns, we locked lips. And the rest?1102Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0u5l5ClipF
The rest was, as they say, a WEIRD love story.
