It was a VERY strong wind that day, and I absolutely swear to god that none of it was my fault. Seriously, guys. It was the WIND that knocked my umbrella into that dork's face. And his coffee fell too, rolling away. I explicitly articulated my most SINCEREST apologies and how I was just as much publicly humiliated as him.
"What is wrong with you-- I'm Gabe by the way--," he took my gloved hand to shake before returning to his nuclear meltdown. "--And what is wrong with you, coming out of nowhere, a ninja slash cat monkey assaulting my vulnerability, battering me to a pulp, leaving me struggling within in an inch of my life. I have asthma, you brute. Precious people like me die from wheezing. How dare you."
"I am MIRANDA," I shrug at Gabe. "Guess I am TOO MUCH of a woman for you."1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHdiRdaPL6
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With the last word, I STRUT away. A minute later, it grew apparent he won't let that happen. He ran to my side, stammering and BLUBBERING like a fool.1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqduSvrsGl
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"Now, just wait a gosh-darned second here!" Gabe raised a finger. I kept a straight face when inside I just wanted to LOL. "You still owe me coffee-- and for mangling my face-- who knows if I ever see you again."1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0IvW9Udwx
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"I did not MANGLE your face! The wind did! Your face is not mangled, your face is perfectly FINE!" I huffed, realizing we stood outside the cafe. "I am being blackmailed and entrapped. I am not okay with it!"1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHC2kd7rKG
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The clouds roared back, and rain shattered. I fought with the umbrella.1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO93CfVHMMs
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"So it's a date!" Gabe shouted over the hysteria. 1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErZ7SHKPAJ
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"NO. GOODBYE FOREVER." I stormed off into the storm, wrestling with the umbrella and the wind. It took until the stoplight when Gabe ran up at the moment the wind grew VERY strong again. I swear to god, it was NOT ME the first time and it was STILL not me the second time. SMACK.1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwatIM8rTe
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The umbrella slapped Gabe ... again. I SHRIEKED in horror.1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBpsmDWsvp
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"What is wrong with you-- ," Gabe said as the pedestrian sign lit up and chased me across the splashing street. "-- I think I'm bleeding! Am I bleeding? My poor mangled face. You may rob me of my coffee and my dignity but you can't get rid of me that easy, infernal murderess. A menace to society, I say! We are all in danger!"
"Then stay FAR away from me!" 1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1iR13EuvF
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Gabe took my gloved hand, and at that moment our hair rose. White lightning struck -- shocking us both. We keeled over, tased and jolted in waves until it was over. We glanced at each other with fresh and cooked eyes. Smoke steamed from our bodies. Boots were knocked from our feet. We marveled that we were electrocuted and somehow miraculously survived. I nodded, "Okay... Coffee sounds good right now..."1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0BWs940RO
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"So it's a date, Miranda," Gabe said, pleased. "That is spectacular."1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcYpjBUqBl
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"It is NOT a date," I insisted. "This is strictly normal and boring. People get hit by lightning all the time, Gabe."1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeT5fHB7OK
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"And you're buying!" He pointed an accusing finger.1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnigCpQXGHe
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"No, if anything it is YOU who are buying," I bickered. 1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHWSQMlciB
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"If I'm buying, ergo it's a date."1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6a0NZ5syt
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"NOPE. WRONG. Regardless of someone buying, it is NOT--"1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSiuXRt30M
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We got struck by white lightning twice and wound up in the hospital, in the same room, with a curtain drawn between us. We spent hours staring at the ceiling arguing whose fault it was and how awful the coffee were here.1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqsx3ZhuXg
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Then his voice stopped. I looked at the curtain, hearing a droning flatline. I tore the curtain back. He was off the machine, leaning in for a kiss.1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouwQA7T0kL
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"Kiss me?" 1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZ3RBefReN
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It was so OBVIOUS he was going to be my husband.1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWSPfC030y
So OBVIOUS he was going to be the father of my child.1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHV0MQbU8G
Gabe. That sweet dork. How can I not love him? 1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWdxBzUcp0
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"No, you kiss me," I said. His eyes closed, as if to melt.
In our hospital gowns, we locked lips. And the rest?1053Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qKm2WUGrP
The rest was, as they say, a WEIRD love story.
