It was a VERY strong wind that day, and I absolutely swear to god that none of it was my fault. Seriously, guys. It was the WIND that knocked my umbrella into that dork's face. And his coffee fell too, rolling away. I explicitly articulated my most SINCEREST apologies and how I was just as much publicly humiliated as him.
"What is wrong with you-- I'm Gabe by the way--," he took my gloved hand to shake before returning to his nuclear meltdown. "--And what is wrong with you, coming out of nowhere, a ninja slash cat monkey assaulting my vulnerability, battering me to a pulp, leaving me struggling within in an inch of my life. I have asthma, you brute. Precious people like me die from wheezing. How dare you."
"I am MIRANDA," I shrug at Gabe. "Guess I am TOO MUCH of a woman for you."1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡto5MyiGd6N
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With the last word, I STRUT away. A minute later, it grew apparent he won't let that happen. He ran to my side, stammering and BLUBBERING like a fool.1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJfYx7uxDO
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"Now, just wait a gosh-darned second here!" Gabe raised a finger. I kept a straight face when inside I just wanted to LOL. "You still owe me coffee-- and for mangling my face-- who knows if I ever see you again."1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTBtdZFonr
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"I did not MANGLE your face! The wind did! Your face is not mangled, your face is perfectly FINE!" I huffed, realizing we stood outside the cafe. "I am being blackmailed and entrapped. I am not okay with it!"1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETwSKk3TnV
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The clouds roared back, and rain shattered. I fought with the umbrella.1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFYjS6LLLP
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"So it's a date!" Gabe shouted over the hysteria. 1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlIfUWuUQT
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"NO. GOODBYE FOREVER." I stormed off into the storm, wrestling with the umbrella and the wind. It took until the stoplight when Gabe ran up at the moment the wind grew VERY strong again. I swear to god, it was NOT ME the first time and it was STILL not me the second time. SMACK.1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFn9ClZChBH
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The umbrella slapped Gabe ... again. I SHRIEKED in horror.1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrBL2JFXwX
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"What is wrong with you-- ," Gabe said as the pedestrian sign lit up and chased me across the splashing street. "-- I think I'm bleeding! Am I bleeding? My poor mangled face. You may rob me of my coffee and my dignity but you can't get rid of me that easy, infernal murderess. A menace to society, I say! We are all in danger!"
"Then stay FAR away from me!" 1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UE6WgH8D2
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Gabe took my gloved hand, and at that moment our hair rose. White lightning struck -- shocking us both. We keeled over, tased and jolted in waves until it was over. We glanced at each other with fresh and cooked eyes. Smoke steamed from our bodies. Boots were knocked from our feet. We marveled that we were electrocuted and somehow miraculously survived. I nodded, "Okay... Coffee sounds good right now..."1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrvOTPgEKd
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"So it's a date, Miranda," Gabe said, pleased. "That is spectacular."1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfwLB4EvkH
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"It is NOT a date," I insisted. "This is strictly normal and boring. People get hit by lightning all the time, Gabe."1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJnty5RjsJ
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"And you're buying!" He pointed an accusing finger.1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡApyEFwcTVq
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"No, if anything it is YOU who are buying," I bickered. 1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCdJHR3pSy
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"If I'm buying, ergo it's a date."1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBteUzCeDdA
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"NOPE. WRONG. Regardless of someone buying, it is NOT--"1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6hW8VP1kX
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We got struck by white lightning twice and wound up in the hospital, in the same room, with a curtain drawn between us. We spent hours staring at the ceiling arguing whose fault it was and how awful the coffee were here.1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeyBK9WgN0
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Then his voice stopped. I looked at the curtain, hearing a droning flatline. I tore the curtain back. He was off the machine, leaning in for a kiss.1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08fbtfGPn4
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"Kiss me?" 1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTCblp0p93
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It was so OBVIOUS he was going to be my husband.1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtHffqIFVw
So OBVIOUS he was going to be the father of my child.1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31j12rosb5
Gabe. That sweet dork. How can I not love him? 1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡox0l5c4Ik8
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"No, you kiss me," I said. His eyes closed, as if to melt.
In our hospital gowns, we locked lips. And the rest?1101Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6IPbZI7Lh
The rest was, as they say, a WEIRD love story.
