「我是個意外不該出生」
我從夢境中醒來，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCh0opBes5
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75YcI31JJu
事隔多年我還是會被那些回憶驚醒，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LQX4khYKx
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uvtMlL0np
那是父親童年時光常常告訴我的，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKDkWxMeEW
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAeXavsRkG
幼小我的父母就離異，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIRrbeNwTO
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOIhFFVZjM
母親是內地人離婚後就回國了，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQWe1osHvu
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOQeM2Lff1
對母親的記憶還是有，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxJD5YP1Si
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KdEsV9bgX
記得她很常酗酒，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PzBHoVDTV
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnzqiTOgW1
後來的日子，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RD73mrdZ6
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGO2WpbnbKg
我總是在房間聆聽他們的爭吵。
父親獨自承擔起照顧我的生活，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfP34uR1fKI
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaONwSLnKBs
忙於工作的他，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡai8qG7qXrm
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUdIjG83YP
常常讓我睡在幼兒園，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYNwNASQz5
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtS6jz23nGA
到了上課時間再直接上課，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOBeKRxQbM
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXGDYbrtbV
什麼？為什麼能睡在那裡，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLArRFMm9W
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZl199XzN2o
因為姑姑是那裡的英文導師，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4QIlblV47
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp48DSIAqEP
所以我總能寄宿在那裡，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzI5zB1K63W
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOap9mRlxXK
剛開始還會看著監視器期盼，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuzjYJt3zs
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGFGyBqbIB
漸漸的知道自己並不會被接走。
開始在小學上課，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYV1zl1ogUV
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnK6Fj7X3s
父親工作的地方不一定，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43uodiBw9U
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12XpAX0cdp
輾轉的換了三所小學，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRK1Ia67BJC
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2TFPb4LZa
以至於我跟同學之間的關係並沒有那麼好。
父親性格上也開始逐漸扭曲，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHcz5bDsrr
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNYAdcBF0R
他開始會喜怒無常，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxRMlzPfoM
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5s8zvFDZQX
沒來由的找我發脾氣，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQaBcAfKW0
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7S3Zd3Mba
下一秒又對我十分和善。
我很好奇……家人還有被關愛的感覺，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukeAH5Yegj
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkVoOJmM4d
很小我就與異性交往，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyWjT8FmJw
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1rCN8tP1v
試圖尋找一些慰藉。
父親，是一名水電工，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqrQOyhnI8
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNrg3EeqcG
家裡總是擺滿各式各樣的工作，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtAosanJHw
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZ5gPjZcnx
偶爾我也會陪同他工作，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCizJK2cRr
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkdNJNh44Y
我會睡在工地，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5toMjlYpKc
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7u6G66Qew
用紙箱跟外套搭建自己的窩，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjt0wRMvzLJ
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKckMN5YA0
父親在工作上十分認真敬業，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIDTuYCdxD
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUn0IgmBCcn
委託人總是非常信任他。
國小三年級，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANAaoBPnmH
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVigGq46Et
他開始會講貶低的話語，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7GDt933Pw
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE63AI7X0N8
那些原本用來工作的用具，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjy1BFMLT1
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBi9JyzJmWd
偶爾會成為威脅我的道具，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadDtIBNVM0
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wgQRpLmjJ
他會拿著水管說：「你信不信我會打你」816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctUJMDfzKT
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqr0NbOzEV
有次，他不蠻玩沉浸電腦跟網友聊天的我，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgvClJHheJ
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvBo6QLh2M
他直接逼迫我隔天不准上課，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlr5WAQICKO
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWb3uitwXT3
要我轉告給老師，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEOlb759qV
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxd5z3EcGS
電話裡他說：「老師吼？有種你就報警」816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRd1u25aqf
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk65IjwtYe4
老師報了警，結果不小心報錯地址闖錯的門。
之後，我偶爾會逃家，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7st9Us3ip
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CkMcurUOx
沒過多久被安排進了補習班，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ayXuo0hUN
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKUHqlrkIq
那樣的對待仍然持續，而我染上了自傷的習慣。
這樣的日子長達了三年的光陰。
我從回憶中反應過來，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Muo8YzMbT
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9tkhvn6uz
細細去回想每個片段，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48P693HjyR
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBn7NwNcDZ
父親，很不容易的照顧了我的起居，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0rP3XiF2n
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrAYaO4fUg
仔細想想一個照顧小女孩，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55AZ7q7IjR
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Npb7CWJbd
對他一個大男孩很不容易，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJArRy2vAEn
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfVziWwoFU
所以他很常說：「我是個意外不該出生」816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKl6pZJTsL
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUw6Dx0Ud9
卻不知不覺間深深烙印在我腦海。
或許，我本不應該誕生吧。
整理了一下情緒，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Y5fhVKFmr
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGYvto00NP
走進廁所打理了一下自己狼狽的摸樣，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZi11QTVhw
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXi6nKYygxY
我打開冰箱，拿出冰牛奶，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlE2G98ZzQ
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yyiK6ifsg
打算為自己做份牛奶麥片當早餐，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXlAAvXADX
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1RAe2AIKH
是父親最常為我做的簡易餐點，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmduPobKh3o
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkufmXp8m2
還是有很多屬於他的回憶，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vLfHOIdGA
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmbzDfjBAi
我喃喃自語到：「好想失憶啊～」816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKV4WLSOnB
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxLVSQQmTt
正準備吃下第一口時，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZn5dk2jEe
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIZQHYLUvC
手機螢幕上顯示著今日的新聞，816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRF7ssUN1s
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6t2ek7Fujj
《少女淚訴遭狼父性騷擾》
816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESutr8tP3Z
頓時，回憶到了我國二那年。816Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1V2SCIoa0
