Whatwasithinking High School Lunch Menu
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Monday: Shark Week
Today's special is worn edible underwear stewed in toilet water and doused in the liquid floating at the top of tomato sauce. Garnished with a single froot loop.
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Tuesday: Rock and Rissole
Raw expired beef mixed with rust and lense cleaner to create rissoles. These are fried in a litre of water freshly drank by a dog to get the best flavour.
Add a side of grilled noodles battered in glue.
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Wednesday: Under my Umbrella
Ground crickets into dust to be added to a bowl of platypus eggs (with shell) and wet catfood to form a base for a cake.
Whip skin shavings and pond water with vanilla extract to make the flavour for the off cream (extra chunky is best) to be added on top.
Ganish with an umbrella toothpick.
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Thursday: Gummy like Grandma
A sweet treat of vanilla frosted cupcakes on an old maths book, dusted with treebark and topped with a wad of chewing-gum from under the table.
Dipped entirely in toothpaste that has been mixed with car oil for the darkest colour.
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Friday: Cock and Roll
Get ready for the weekend with sausage rolls.
Minced cockatiels with lawn clippings and lavender-scented garbage bags to make the meaty insides.
The pastry is cockroaches and corn flakes, basted with collected water dripped from an air-conditioner.
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Enjoy your meal!
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