The life of me? blog - I was Five

I was Five

By: FossyJoci

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEs5lKHBjS6

I was five.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuD2oD8GbB

I was five when I was told that I was moving,

that I had to leave my friends and the life that I had behind.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DdjlwZqd3

I was five.

Moving states and places,

The Change was hard,

new people and a new start,

I was five.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGg3imuSFfn

I was five,

When I met new friends

and I made amends

Then I was ten

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Tl1ApYciM

When I was ten,

My dad knew my best friends,

But he stepped down.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkgwErqnUj

When I was ten,

He got a new job,

I had to leave my friends once again,

I had to leave them.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcziRbIxkV

I was ten.

When my friends and I continued to speak

When my hunger started to betray me

When I had to restart my life,

And meet new people on a new street.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0iUJcw4MI

I was ten.

When I still got to keep my home,

I didn’t like it though,

My mother and father fought,

So I slept over at my best friend’s house

I was twelve.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQW1SY5fV9

I was twelve.

It was thanksgiving

Of all days in the year

That is when my parents decided

We were to move.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJ9hQ768Z1

I was twelve.

When I had my first fainting spell

I had to leave everyone.

My friends and I didn’t have a falling out

If we had I would have never come out

Of my room where I would wail for comfort

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYeKYBdLWl

I was twelve.

When my brain began to think

About how I am going to keep my friends

People change and so do I

but they are the ones that keep me sane.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uBupC4Djf

I was thirteen

When I was in a new state once again.

New house, new school, new people.

I. Hate. It. Here!

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAYuatd8dl

It has been almost three years.

I know the reason,

The reason I was torn from my friends,

The reason I have to live in this hell.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrz6OPZCsw

I want to go back.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdzVFsP33N

Back when I had my best friends right by my side.

Back when I saw them daily

To when I spoke to them bravely

TO WHEN I WASN’T SAD.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjnpvP3XS9

I am fifteen years old.

I can sleep but I don’t

I like to stay happy even when I’m not.

I talk to my best friends,

but not as much as I should.

I need to talk to them more,

Before I overthink.

Before I lose them,

And before I lose myself.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHX5MJ13Dom

I am fifteen years of age,

I have been forced to move states or schools

Four times.

Four times my parents have said, never again.

You are going to graduate high school here.

Each time these things happened

I got progressively worse.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLzv9YBDcy

They look at me and ask where their happy little daughter is

Not even bothering to notice that she hasn’t been there,

Ever since I had to leave my best friends

One Boy

One Girl

The lights of my life

People who can just so easily take away that light

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7wPsOw9YH

Talking to them makes everything better

I feel the slightest bit insecure about something

And they instantly say the smallest things,

Howdy.

And everything melts away

All the insecurities

All the Pain

All the words in my brain.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2qdN3HVo8

I am fifteen.

I read books to escape,

All the people in my brain

And those who surround me.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkITCnr49f

The library is my sanctuary,

My safe place.

The one place I feel sane.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzvI8r8EBt

I won’t speak but others will.

The people I surround myself with

It is not good for me,

They are not from my roots

but I am stuck in theirs.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsldmT6zdMG

I didn’t read one book

And for that, I get constant jabs.

Preying on my weaknesses.

And my insecurities.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PmilUZmFN

I talked to them.

The people I surround myself with,

I made it known that,

I am not ok with what they say,

And what they do.

But no matter how much I try,

“They will never listen to you”

So I have made a decision

Once I can be confident,

I will free myself

From the burden that is my “friends”

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhYnKungFY

Why did life have to turn out the way it is?

Was it my parents?

Was it my friends?468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3QRK9kfJI
Was it me?

What went wrong?

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVm8jbHhFZp

In the life of a fifteen-year-old.

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0411Hga0KM

I am now sixteen

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzp0HWwq60

Looking back on this poem

A year in time has passed

And I have begun to relax

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LB9q3iN0r

I have lived with the guilt

Knowing what I know

The reason why I was pulled

I miss my best friends it's true

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKO8FkAK6Bt

Living without them is like living without food

My hunger deteriorates

I get lightheaded

My body hot

My ears and eyes shot

Everything blurred

I can’t see a thing

Muffled sounds

As I fall from my feet

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlsxX85Z63

The issue at hand got better once

But it is slowly getting worse again

Sometimes I forget to eat

Other I just see food and can’t think

Of anything other than not eating it

It makes me gag

I would rather scream

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5l7qpj6cAh

So I go to the theater

Where I can screech

I prefer to belt and sing

To get my frustration out

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jkgnDtbpP

But the one thing is

I can’t do that without

Those “friends” showing up too

I don’t want them there

It’s my safe space

For me to survive

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3OWbN4Blp

To get away from those

Who make my insecurities thrive

But then there was him

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHIj6y9d5Y

He got me to eat

Somehow I don’t even know how

To walk and run

And somehow breathe again

I don’t know how

But I have known him for a long time

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgH0OVsZ5G

But we will not date

For the fear of losing our friendship

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToDOGUKCZd

I have been through that before

I cannot do it again

It broke my heart

And it still does to this day

I don’t want it to suffer like that ever again

So we will stay friends

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMIQ14eKkE

I am not ok

I never will fully be ok

I will give you that

Because no one is ever fully okay

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepFANxyy0O

I lost the ability to be ok

Long ago

When I lost my best friends

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLxzComcJH

I haven’t seen them in three years

And that is when it all began

I don’t know how to fix this

Am I mentally ill, probably.

The thought that I have ADHD

Has a high chance

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TEk2nIqGY

But for now, I will live

Because I thrive on spite

And I will try to be happy

And to stay positive

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRKbVHknsG

In my sixteen-year-old mind

468Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsofpNtLV0

ns216.73.216.238da2

I was Five

REGISTER

LOGIN

Interface Language:

Story Language: