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「去哪？」393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5t4Lc5bu3X
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bkDZk4KP6
「急事。」393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡly2zqT1O0k
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfymdtNy5Z
「你不吃晚餐？」393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQDER4jQlS
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3v1Vy7VTY
我沒應答，逕自出門。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Zn8AoJwTk
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsmRDMhPXi
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wuiZXxyjX
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanjYedjKhw
難以言喻的鬱悶。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrj4BU8Xzqa
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHbtVUPaFE
長嘆。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWUyEPJmYB
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuPLBL9ZZp
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfAcqYzXhG
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36l0Npm47u
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUY90Y3avzh
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1DMlIPUCO
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHVuTJEGuj
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8h57imf78e
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXSPcAJlqW
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbClj4DwTu7
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCpSa35V5M
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPdL2MYzRM
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEjszBeCK6
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvHusHZF6z
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGx8TjmGjHZ
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqau2W95TK
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zmYz1zW9y
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ySTqODNqC
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFDSejUOfY
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0duXF51vJ
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5U6l6VDEDW
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6b2f5OJJ8
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXueT0lKT4
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYhvKdBfa2
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCr0Lh4KESP
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1sQeH3X4AC
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAhi9QaUQI
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfgDNYFJqL
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLh9mRRPZp
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI93krind7T
註定的。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLECEQxAfuq
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMGrc4IIdG
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCPPXCcZ8H
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq10dc10zD5
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFi9yGWLyu
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3o6dccWwE
停步。猶疑。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatEmnucNfc
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJpSqfTNjh
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBNz5BKw7s
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSZOIJ27k7
轉身。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9g3UKoj7wg
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJr6t4Egk9K
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGhYKNyQ7a
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbdgum6Clo
我回身走去。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UOyC8olvn
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgV7W2RE3b
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJTGHbIwkm
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65gmLsHY1Q
把小狗抱入懷內。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntjS6TE3wM
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMBCr04YO9
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvBIjZyZ70
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdunjwVps1
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhwVYYNq4B8
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt57hxgkSAn
海風？海濱公園步道？393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI87JGQ9bxs
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbV0re7V2NE
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmOzBt9WL0
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QyXyhHOmq
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JVxS8hfOn
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIr73F5xaB
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiz1p0qp8A
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9AX8uMcuZ
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLCWyFem7c
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QPw2KlFjL
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGseveYncp
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp61DTfAGAL
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFLhZOJWFL
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4xIfQR2bL
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvP15blEZ0o
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAWHllDDDC
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNfJBfsF6D
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSG7TMSbMm
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGXrDNhiF1
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDP3mbvM3lQ
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeAUggM7vz
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrWVdyJN3u
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqeJkRdNwZ
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7igidWetl
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABvXAx8I4E
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQA1mPUJDF
鬱悶何來？393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlx2QQQuKv
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNCHeaWTwd
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7U6NwMLSIo
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKquF469B26
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEnJaYarr7
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkp2eQFeWa
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFhBvV0g1O
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq93GjasXAF
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HaEod2vVv
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfNxXMLNSl
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWYSS7jI7b
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDFsBY4AuR
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGrBSAvW8X
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPpKRKcrjz
然後呢？根本沒有然後。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdWK0vG2qA
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPXFIwuPfi
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7neydWABE
393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbkyPSV2mr
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59LBuU5FGe
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.6da2
