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「去哪？」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSfmhkREDN
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFHhH9dQKj
「急事。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQsj1Xxbn3
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1yWQqeiYz
「你不吃晚餐？」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzy1FfnJEH
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBxqRYPScq
我沒應答，逕自出門。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lkH3Ucc57
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRSpMbiXIP
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotklNuoBR7
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfWbeusKI4
難以言喻的鬱悶。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTngxCi2gF
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7rmrznKTD
長嘆。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQXJ06ZLWQ
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOE6Acp9yM
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYJ46rGemQ
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUk0z2iGlBl
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EnGHMcozL
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTY3gNf0lCL
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIyc5uPSKc
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81pWIlxNhc
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9HP56eAri
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRcZYI3unV
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZBkpErtuo
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndxdKNq9UE
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuM0xnObGNT
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1hxYNE6wh
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4JYr2iOrg
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXeZjID4XS
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtri8rzExe
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaNbkRnFRb
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmBlM0omml
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98QQIWgRNO
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWo6S9N3ojy
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnNiWwV45L
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jW61hS3KR
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozZshhs3IW
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPICzpTZFRB
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKHxjaqsyc
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaNKTcUtzE
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxyyhl7ZsA
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgUdzUOcWm
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKL1Rr238Le
註定的。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoT3NyGt5bb
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHwtHWLdRm
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hCKIEBhDe
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfqPCCSrtf
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcaOtqRHR9
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9ZcI9CyqZ
停步。猶疑。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftUDgY6EmS
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbV3Hj6G0C3
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErXiJwVivE
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5Zhgo5w7o
轉身。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3X2QJmkYUl
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZJbqTcuHY
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4SnvZbPkT
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KFZEK3m0y
我回身走去。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrLSWvCV8j
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsA0B2iZome
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBt1ZJ0x59
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGn03Eg6SVy
把小狗抱入懷內。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFNM20NdFr
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogEVY7z2BP
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGO50h6tGQR
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHxHRvsKcV
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMRCkXCF7X
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6gG0r4Q4N
海風？海濱公園步道？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzT1krxd3U
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCG052Wwhn
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4uLXjkP4X
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYEAsIBx8V
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpV4wURj3T
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40rbSNHK0l
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNTLiHvKi0
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DsWCNLPAP
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLrPADbwZ8
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBUbdsYkRS
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGF4Yln570h
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1BR3KlCUx
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDbc9ppnc0
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7Ten8G3VM
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrJnukneQl
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNYr0vB4Fu
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLJrDKDE6X
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3curXs4DH
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXbSxLDcLI
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNehjByRWPI
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4pBxuLUf6
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡft9j2rmH3t
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HDLGhVlD2
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ604ADrQ3Wq
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKS69dnGs09
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocfeTK7PNh
鬱悶何來？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLAuSseTXs
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5oMDQh5ze
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKWHdJgtiU
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIJtHCBRKm
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMmD91CgS4
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTo81yj3jY
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0batJq0Dr
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1qFjaTQD2
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtt8J2v3aSv
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3jHlck0gF
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUs0tAJ7Ho
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3up0khtyb
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8stGpgkgbW
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAOxGMc3GH
然後呢？根本沒有然後。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSPcbqAuTM
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOgdJWqe1D
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeQvfU3ci7
372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEDDZqaY6T
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。372Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KPw9XSqAX
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.239da2
