「去哪？」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwr6wuqEpLy
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiJPmZNBOu
「急事。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7u6JdwIZ8
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKyRgEvDMl
「你不吃晚餐？」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepQMAacZQS
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILyjRb9A9w
我沒應答，逕自出門。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurPPOKBUYR
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmPCTuC5Pz
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZYiAjifVE
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXVp1sz8XN
難以言喻的鬱悶。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqcBzBL2pn
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUVrOlVgV9
長嘆。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4V8JacYVrB
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYd1TspEusw
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgb8ctWl0L
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOg3tpcsNda
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Sq7sarn8i
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrpzP92x3O
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VhGc8KH3f
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHTmiVB1UH
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCYaJ0p6XA
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91X2Tf0i9g
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcHBhykSuC
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFH0Rm34sSQ
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WtFA4MMga
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtj4NMH7usv
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiy5LxlUJD
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmAFlcDebn
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWIR7OCcMT
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpO9aGWJ6Bo
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBG8a5s6s9
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YAUNJWTTD
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9IbEkeUnq
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAAJ26Hq9C
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sbWt6skJr
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNwdyNSy8g
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuADM25U1re
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBIN6ym5oK
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpoOkMBCHxb
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaFtjwOFeu
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnr7qNqwrIp
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMsSBva8jY
註定的。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ToF284FgW
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8rzUUcCbk
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXMRQeGaSJ
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGDpN4X7PG
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLmD5pDUyc
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEmmPCLXip
停步。猶疑。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazM2OlLEDz
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOOl35ESVj
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWafJJacNgB
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgWUtbOgTu
轉身。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5I4xtbJHee
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4I64a8Eas5
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS55iKCOZJD
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ560D3oskQ
我回身走去。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsF2vGmF115
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdoSzNCHB0
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NJ7hYiTht
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQQybgLRxn
把小狗抱入懷內。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PVeIW64Lk
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8uaxl7Zem
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTuH6xueey
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlxmP49H7H
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScjENtV9fO
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxWAvcX29k
海風？海濱公園步道？415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaGvyFqoTO
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8hoYYsePq
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvHGhY30wF
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FUX0Moyyx
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSC92qDlYeO
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8RCLXECDF
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhECpzzzn5
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvtQGQAHaQ
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgo02Tlnt3
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfSGKALTF8
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzW0x36yvuV
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTM6u7PU5Kd
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJDqEasDg1
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfn4YQnoh8
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9SqUYDSfy
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFsTC7Unh1
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNMIXuNbwy
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLbtbVl3d4
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8m5tDYRe1c
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfLk9jQY1D
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt799bBIkMQ
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJ3mmcpJRE
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEG0an0MHwC
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oVGr6OOyr
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiwdqaKsvJ
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZi8MjpYyli
鬱悶何來？415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiWKVpnw0N
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXD3SbUKsb
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYKs5oYe9y
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HTLBwkuwT
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXwHs8Uje9
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNVhZ4PNR8
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrEUbzV9Cv
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTs2OX9DnWf
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YAcX1VETi
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡox5oEOHdo7
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3t1FeaZqb
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdu1nCAVH6
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5nGwLf2UV
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbPxwRcQaq
然後呢？根本沒有然後。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmySDRe1gHo
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dvSvOyY4x
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJPrcyKFFQ
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aLEgyiD8g
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSzAUst8qw
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
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