Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9RM5EssFI
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...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsoZ7YPaUL
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To lift his spirits.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqwRmeOZcC
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ToJfwDj7w
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhp75hIzi0
...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhv9cqnjnbT
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Claude.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdkfRS6sib
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxsrXx8ENF
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzkogidtyU
...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sUIXFM2nB
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Demeter wasn't working.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22jJsVWuiK
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡui5LPIhaBH
Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJ8HGUAOSO
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYryXGYAOS
Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbjHUHnf1r
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10OsYWnHAs
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHK64rBSVJ
...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBP1vOhUE9a
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5Nzdtqz5r
"Bison."427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUOCplsL7K
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Bread is like the sun.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gpmke64gG
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYxLsBICCJ
...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1XKJLQhRa
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7RUj6ToF3
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHsXO4GNkO
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOLroGzWP5
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OrKwnVLOA
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSc1ytPMsIJ
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPPnG2wnIE
...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjrQVwhpgU
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Its butt.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFY2GCwtWH
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh83otK8jPv
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QlKp25El3
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBYhBHbdy3
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjTJ99gVbj
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLJAySOERW
...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bSIfOcKfH
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First, a tractor.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhy4mS60Kdr
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7XfgkcSHm
Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5FD1np0Kh
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNFxOEtoAh
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iDuc5kI5k
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Gravy.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72O4lhMrxs
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyL6NZrhcw
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0ld7HLpZQ
...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtNLEtrVjS
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Now he's a rockstar.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5iDeKGqdM
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Sn35dUHzK
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfruZkWSCZ
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIEsvOt2od
Do trees poop?427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU38dTZbdzP
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...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEFRgeoavF
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpYAjBlCUN
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9I6GdCXEy2
What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqF0BUsGms
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gUAr5iF8f
...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEv0DAtoPDD
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CVWHKgWFK
A "do-you-think-he-saurus."427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvEpnlyfRF
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5gTW8Go30
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KO9aPK0Ix
...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwvXzMS3KF
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She couldn't control her pupils.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOywCokBp0
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFWGJ7MAih
What do peppers do when they're angry?427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6sCcMgThK
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpHFgCV13X
...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpH5tTj3zu
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFTCkq3vId
They get jalapeño face.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOoE5ITVEi
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUcPDir3rJ
Today someone told me I am average.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvVgdr4Csv
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0d1vzGYMt
...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUH0vpzC7d
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLSAsaz6V0
I told them that's just mean.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIT0GpFpYv
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGLq2t1uHS
What do you call a pencil with two erasers?427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKdVEKUDX5
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdypD0z9o5
...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCxRPiAMjf
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhot7GypOi
Pointless.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFS9YqWuwr
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdgZeynrMq
Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVm9AqH1Do
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTlnyIDBxn
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCmVsN8HNd
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvldr1sW6fo
...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJbS0xsfbR
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEMEnjNyDT
He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTjEcPh9Eg
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfGjllcHBm
Have you ever tried to catch fog?427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡld5xhn881Z
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP82wAh6fKW
...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmD85zwBol
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYTvz1VgzC
I tried yesterday but I mist.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsPgYl07t0
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kGprPk2rG
Why can't you ever run through a campsite?427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRKFQUxEhW
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0jfJDtzn4
...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVU0nouWEO
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KoiFVrdno
You can only ran—it's always past tents.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtpzQBSesY
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9yzucujus
What country's capital is growing the fastest?427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0xS4k2Qt9
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrC6TcGVCLo
...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQl9EvqcXf9
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDyZ7gbkPM
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKb3QarR62q
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwOhR0YPyj
What has four wheels and flies?427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SBCR92lY7
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZurfqBPR5
...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdi9PnhVfK
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvJ9ohgd11
A garbage truck.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2ghB4FSY7
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vCfjwXpui
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSrCuXzucc
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiXK5Lf3Lb
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRGyzP5ybg
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDZDLLHydw
...so I pushed her over.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYYuCb0xls
---427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYc5FttVX1D
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxNNEjSfCz
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9wRclJo6M
...427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWRqAjWpVg
427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfiozIhpfR
If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHFkb5wBWA
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427Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYriAjY02ej
Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns18.218.181.138da2
