Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRiU5u6dNM
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...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsaPwaiSso
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To lift his spirits.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiQRLUAthd
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BOuWZk70m
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwfsVVPpsF
...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrbgualXfz
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Claude.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdRrc7NyIQ
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38DNfrdGFv
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyVhnr2fL8
...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrgitQdd3C
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Demeter wasn't working.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6bpu1rBX3
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTssk8LDfJ
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBllnB6vnc
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlq6BqBV2ue
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcopwgDZVmH
...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnKbeihege
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"Bison."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2s3z97pB05
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Bread is like the sun.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZE53dUhZAA
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...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNkLhsPS2p
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInsrAcurBm
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfSFVq7vBc
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQkk06JKFd
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtH4kUOLEEe
...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCt6LLf6z41
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Its butt.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjFWZU0KnI
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXlMagyKtJ
---579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HpEV578QI
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPLCANoUyw
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscHBjXqGyC
...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGe1gknACj
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First, a tractor.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40MsVfVDjy
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxN4u5Nl9K
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Gravy.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0bRuwb5dC
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gzEo3TVz9
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...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NuwhUOiuj
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Now he's a rockstar.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkMB3J1Sfo
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdQHkIybei
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Do trees poop?579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8PUPAWadA
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...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYefKQldz4
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxw9DoYhSO
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKI2aYjPbnl
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...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5NfkQHVXM
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhrofdUnMY
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJgk1scIqS
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsNHqzIPFL
...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jPHvGR8gE
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She couldn't control her pupils.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4v1BcUuq7e
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What do peppers do when they're angry?579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwuvUJGmmS
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMljcULeqSS
...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIrlBZ7usc
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They get jalapeño face.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7PGWGVlkg
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Today someone told me I am average.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIS24rBmtgH
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...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYapQwnRty
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I told them that's just mean.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Q0lDW5OWb
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlhXNTR1Dl
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...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58NT3jfPj2
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Pointless.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaH5IpjzUP
---579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEl1aSIxJiG
Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOoGy568b9
---579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbukAoZL7vF
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonyOThJ9Jw
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhGky3aOxX
...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7hXm0BhQW
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeeI5OmuAC
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFPonYUKtb
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...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBkm0PvGur
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I tried yesterday but I mist.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOZHJBxhBi
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8GYyzyJgk
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuj4GsIVIX
...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7CWlBsyYw
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZNqqzL333
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqt2GAniEYu
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VWGW7UPL8
...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEcwNXzTBT
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBBboWT6zi
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What has four wheels and flies?579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdfum8piRx
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmXn7fgwWW
...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoaMp1vpTA
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A garbage truck.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFo0Eqes0AM
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDuA1f4zM2
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeG0Co3cfZq
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeaFcZRJMq
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSJywYKVZO
...so I pushed her over.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0NxGNsKWt
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDxCE9eaJ1
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTOik0zNOg
...579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZKlznh8a9
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvChjq4Cfl
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579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEEkCTftDP
Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns216.73.216.12da2
