Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPbylKTNZK
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To lift his spirits.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaXy2gr2ux
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOO5ukbOVN
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Claude.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwZWAkX7PB
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcIdW14Xo7
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Demeter wasn't working.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjccG6yggW
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXC33W6qTbD
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3jO7awmHH
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNBeO40Wzk
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...530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeIebLE4v8
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"Bison."530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dCvpXVMmU
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Bread is like the sun.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvsrQftgdd
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2L2ug5CFj
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJZQBOH3Z2
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjGhf9EkSu4
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...530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZCD3ty9UH
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Its butt.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77jOrUcKRW
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6amyYQe8NF
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsVImLDKV3
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...530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdt6uxWWm4L
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First, a tractor.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmR4QkY6ca1
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxyc0G00ug
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Gravy.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HzhWdAdux
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoXk5RiFv5
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Now he's a rockstar.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFA1Bet3UEY
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjk645p9Kt
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Do trees poop?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTqZyPGDtp
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7h8MUXYxB
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1adBaI9zi
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCk4XeYEqo
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQoKccr1wkW
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She couldn't control her pupils.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1WuGXMF5J
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What do peppers do when they're angry?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3HBP6UFG7
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They get jalapeño face.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFbH9RL3LO
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Today someone told me I am average.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgt4cnNBAl
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...530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjPeVxWFlI
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I told them that's just mean.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Vbr8QvAen
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVqBZU8FHs
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...530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCRgzGK0kt
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Pointless.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOLj7Z3SPS
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFpM8qboXm
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TJujXkzVl
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...530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MWUSWMCu4
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrLynpm1Nh
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLKjzEcA3N
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I tried yesterday but I mist.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWQZhZMmjk
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtpUQu9zkl
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cUclzQLx9
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuntOZHmASJ
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...530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhfFFH788V
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjB2UnnuM1e
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What has four wheels and flies?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqWvEnbd2c
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A garbage truck.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKPPJqdWXH
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotaO60iAAz
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...so I pushed her over.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3e65DW4mW
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3Gvz8Oksw
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.530Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaX3dsreSt
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns216.73.216.0da2
