Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10Qj3uN4g8
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...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDd2xzPW5L
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To lift his spirits.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGK2kSRp5nh
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLuo4EdyTp
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfM88uqI3Kg
...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7MD47fC9G
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Claude.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDAg6kLC4d
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCS4iBtgElD
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRsPI4RLtf
...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PorJiSeRd
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Demeter wasn't working.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCO9Tc5RLO
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4L59SsLu8
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEOm3duPOZ
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlus6480P9
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuK4WbqDIbo
...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEvmTxEcGq
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGNmniLGEN
"Bison."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZtP0iF6jB
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Bread is like the sun.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTIncA6VPu
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjLzTau4Ye
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUapA6Iyx5G
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHj5q6hPKhT
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRv3ohddYSk
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLfPPrjpgr
...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1wKzaf8xC
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Its butt.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKnm4mMq8L
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZaZlGKvQM
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZNRU2soYK
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eqEXf8AdG
...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvF5VMIw4B
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First, a tractor.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDV5AQK5LC
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVkQySLP6h
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTBVtKhtuE
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDopKRHTJNP
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Gravy.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4T6hfapVW
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVDM86juHe
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwzubqtqcS
...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6sHfyNddA
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Now he's a rockstar.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYcYIzX7z2
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEfVw4yesA
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Do trees poop?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxg1TbD2UeB
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjvRcMHnHAa
...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zhKW9LPbz
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20ELYsz6cO
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPGZjstK1n
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegqBLwTw7h
...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDe7ZdSVolc
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJasQAs6lfC
A "do-you-think-he-saurus."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJ7mbiM9B5
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPks090UH8M
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGyw2wnAm1
...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIgXTj23HU
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She couldn't control her pupils.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2JvvkhUfv
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What do peppers do when they're angry?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAf9Oj9cS3
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxhC0WNJY8
...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYR5zf66fx
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04w99v40Rf
They get jalapeño face.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tcmg8wW4o
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Today someone told me I am average.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjR3RCj20aD
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9Nw8XJiJo
...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHDEaMhbVr
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaWGaWRsVA
I told them that's just mean.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKAagLeShf
---558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqRDbBLumV
What do you call a pencil with two erasers?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CvEMeKhrG
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPJac9q0ER
...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrih4Vb3deg
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Pointless.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64NdRPlUOU
---558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWXdLSpXlN
Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRMc7eJDUg
---558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGRPO33YeI
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeIEUBnsJo
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60y0Ci2TUY
...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVCKOH99zs
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHQJALcBTV
He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtFB4byKmC
---558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6abZsN5eH
Have you ever tried to catch fog?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JsCdx6X2e
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrCh7R5fj5
...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jQkabftIa
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I tried yesterday but I mist.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtsQEIE9yX
---558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ylZb6ROJR
Why can't you ever run through a campsite?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzE483G0eRh
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNyFMwtbzR
...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadZWyoLnnx
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BhmONQXww
You can only ran—it's always past tents.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCONCfGISM
---558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcLtib5Wh6
What country's capital is growing the fastest?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZbpPTr9v0
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVEk19fOgy
...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLwX8Fxzkd
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4hPFGMEgV
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DiUUtWkZj
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What has four wheels and flies?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwoudKzoaR
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSy7azAEoM
...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefzZY0nvd9
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A garbage truck.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0k3OeAWK3
---558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6TryMR21k
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb76CtXQpgI
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwK5cht8Tj
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZDGQYWKzu
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjpL7dV7Ob
...so I pushed her over.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbPzOqinNb
---558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgcUKBpjiF
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCrCDRVEAx
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZpZUjNVaM
...558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFczzxi1sSw
558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKcgPLIuMu
If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpEtwU2Hcf
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558Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOyDwJzI5h
Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns216.73.216.210da2
