Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ORSF7CzqZ
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To lift his spirits.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIVtMf6ruE
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLN8DJRAX5l
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Claude.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmI5hzzWpsW
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gt45Zsf21
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Demeter wasn't working.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRz3OViWbwI
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AWrwkQHoU
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2loxWDGDbW
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4DxKQWj8A
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"Bison."475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNWuamXWLZ
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Bread is like the sun.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZGwWy1mqd
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeiFyuCEXX
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvasO2RHPR
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsZbqI47ez
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Its butt.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEiz3sYXgR
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcCsktTFPK
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJDGUyZhOX
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First, a tractor.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2YkkwtTdc
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5GD8STjnu
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Gravy.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lfGfdZ3xe
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmji6XB41f3
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Now he's a rockstar.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSc8QBCbkH
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIb9C94UUSc
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Do trees poop?475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifkwJVeUDz
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bQLY9I3VE
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡib1e1rO2Uk
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4n5Kfn4vsR
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNYVQNT2wG
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She couldn't control her pupils.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNZEiZvSBW
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What do peppers do when they're angry?475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6adutFUGh
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They get jalapeño face.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTnANLFiRy
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Today someone told me I am average.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYgysBicNx
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I told them that's just mean.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXNibqpUfw
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvznSzKWet
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Pointless.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmJuZPh7um
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GFWTEQTC7
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuz1ydy6ek
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNpnxxOD1V
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5lsSEfoR4
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I tried yesterday but I mist.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6bKL18mcL
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6SaewMGft
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FFaPJLMA5
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLH8wIDDoDy
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJ3ewk73zW
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What has four wheels and flies?475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRm3XVTEdq
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A garbage truck.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRKeCXdrPe
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMH8KcFq84G
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...so I pushed her over.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFM0zG0XyN
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfX1VV0v3u
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.475Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5vzoQdMyO
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns13.59.48.34da2
