Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfAf4Xkc49
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To lift his spirits.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNftm3FdLK
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPghsHkVveH
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Claude.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBHSvlvPyT
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQXFdTVZ1o
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Demeter wasn't working.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElxLDTeCzU
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqF5ZWHMJ8
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFJOXZpChW
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMvn9v4wqg
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"Bison."499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBaXTHZiud
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Bread is like the sun.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhSN8kVnTI
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cHm0I1oin
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrm7ZaRkJr
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49rYh7kXjB
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Its butt.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52tkyzgM3k
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYYbT1KvFp
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUwmOUK5WO
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First, a tractor.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42csgQSQD1
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04fOm6SpJp
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Gravy.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgW0wVlnw9
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXID7s1gN0f
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Now he's a rockstar.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3slhNE8ge
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9XxF9fnSy
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Do trees poop?499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWwUfroPjB
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMloZ5HvQkN
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XD3G3u2YH
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkFohXH8N6
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25gLHiDms8
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She couldn't control her pupils.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡif84TiXFWm
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What do peppers do when they're angry?499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ51xj4BHOD
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They get jalapeño face.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGDSHbML8I
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Today someone told me I am average.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQc5sC7SEo
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I told them that's just mean.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7t4pz5yget
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs77gkcud0X
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Pointless.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZduKQ62vr
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9potBTeEMa
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Mt8PTNRJD
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8iqqPyNus
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXciEYqHUUC
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I tried yesterday but I mist.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQmV42jxbK
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90pQDJoDuO
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPdzyKs32i
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxDdJBBFsI
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlSLhkLTX5
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What has four wheels and flies?499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6DQMq9RUv
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A garbage truck.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsXbL50sAa
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwleJebds13
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...so I pushed her over.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiYvm095d6
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeu4MTw2Vw
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.499Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfM5qAxQSzV
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns18.222.57.238da2
