Carol and Sharon were arguing in the kitchen. Kyle was holed in his room with his cheap gamer headphones on and Kero Kero Bonito playing loudly in his ears. Anything to block out the yelling.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwrL5WlUAR
Sharon was the loudest but Carol was the one with the clever comebacks. Well, she thought they were clever anyway. What was the topic that tore this household apart? Whose job it was to take out the rubbish.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcgOD6fyQT
Karen had tried to calm them down but was now sitting by the kitchen bench with her head in her hands. She eventually stood up and walked to Kyle’s room to confirm something. He was now swearing at a rival player in a game. She saw all the empty cans and dirty clothes on the floor. She went to her bedroom, took out her phone and began her search for babysitters on Friendful Marketplace.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYLfySwMFA
The next day, she told the babysitter all she needed to know and made her way out into the outdoors. The sun dipped her smiling lips in a golden feeling of freedom.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWZNvphcwX
After a moment of glory, the smile faltered a little. What was Karen going to do now?
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVARpO1waZ
She began wandering around the suburb, basking in the sun but feeling the dead coldness of boredom in her gut. Her eyes searched everywhere they could for something, anything, to do.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mLOxr0GmP
Her icy interior melted upon seeing a familiar face in an unfamiliar setting. Frema, clad in plain grey sweats, waved goodbye to a teenage boy wearing a kippah as he got inside a car with a man.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgniH2c3gXn
When the car passed Karen, Frema saw her. Frema’s mouth and eyes widened. ‘H-Hello. Fancy seeing you here.’ She placed her hand on a piece of air where she thought the mailbox was, almost tripping over nothing as she continued lowering her hand in search of the mailbox.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTH3biugTn
Karen blushed on her behalf. ‘Yeah… I’m guessing that was…’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnLQ9MIS0O
‘My son, yes. So, uh, what are you up to?’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gmhAqJrMl
‘Not much. I’ve got the day to myself, but I don’t know exactly what to do with it.’ Karen chuckled awkwardly.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsw9QN9RX2b
‘Same here.’ Frema’s eyes began to glisten. ‘Would you like to go to the beach together?’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQk63YFrJfh
Karen blinked. ‘The beach? Isn’t that a little…’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXTta6AE1A
‘Well, you’ve got nothing to do, right? Ooh, wait, I’m gonna get my camera!’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZk6zPpDlj
Before Karen could protest, Frema ran inside her one-story red brick house. Karen waited next to the lush garden, with its vast array of photogenic flowers. The garden stood in stark contrast to the house itself, which was plain and displayed a big crack in the front window.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJiiKpqHVW
After a few minutes, Frema came out of her house with a large, age-worn black camera around her neck, two wide-brimmed hats in her hands and a green blazer on her body. Underneath that blazer was a navy blue and white striped top. Her tight denim skirt hugged her curves. Did Karen notice? Is water wet?
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbE5siYEcW
Karen looked down at her old, raggedy three-quarter jeans and her loose, slightly holey green t-shirt with the words ‘Follow Your Dreams’ stuck on the chest.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLi8aWMACQU
‘Oh look, we match,’ Frema said. ‘Cute top, by the way.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzMXUHJGDw
Karen grabbed the hem of her top and raised it ever so slightly. ‘This old thing? I didn’t exactly plan on you seeing it.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN75ZcI4JXG
‘I know. Still cute.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHi1YLTwvCv
Cute.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ihvVTEcGO
That word lodged itself in Karen’s brain and refused to let go.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSXhI65UG9
Karen laughed a little too loud. ‘Let’s go to the beach!’ she yelped as she snatched one of the hats and plopped it on her head. Her eye twitched a little at the hat mussing her hair, but ther corners of her mouth stayed up.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujuybyXm8C
‘We’ll take my car,’ Frema insisted. Karen agreed. After Frema drove it out of the garage, Karen squeezed into it. Her knees were nearly up to her chin sitting in this cramped car, but at least it was clean and smelled like lemons.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6DRut4ZgU
While gently putting the camera in the back seat, Frema told her, ‘I’ve got an old MP3 player. Choose any songs you like.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftx2yrdoix
As she scrolled through the songs, Karen recognised virtually none of them. Some songs appeared to be in foreign languages and others looked like obscure indie rock songs. Frema’s taste looked eclectic, having every genre under the sun. That is, except for pop and popular rock.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yV80W4Op0
Karen eventually settled on an obscure rock album that had a pretty cover. Frema grinned. ‘Good choice.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoMEtGE1lT
‘I can’t believe I’m doing this. The beach? Really, Karen?’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Fs3ecKcTx
‘Live a little. It’s your day off, right?’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuqENI5ysi
Karen nodded. The car was silent for a moment until Karen spoke. ‘So, uh, your son…’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicnMafeEQT
‘Joshua. He’s spending the rest of the week with his father.’ Frema’s grip on her wheel tightened, her knuckles turning white. Karen felt a slight sting in her chest at the mention of Frema having a male partner. Frema shook her head. ‘Anyway, what are you looking forward to doing at the beach?’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QpLAhNtGb
Karen looked up at the car ceiling in thought. ‘I haven’t built a sandcastle in years,’ she said. Frema hummed. Karen tilted her gaze down to her lap. ‘How old am I?’ Frema’s pleasantly unpleasant laughter spilled from her lips like expensive wine.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQARfg93PMy
Throughout the ride to the beach, Frema spoke the most. However, Karen added to the conversation with relative ease. She asked her where she got the camera from and, after receiving the answer (her father), when she got interested in photography.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRejJHj1NTk
‘I always wanted to try photography but I only really got into it around last year, after…’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYA2XaW8EJY
The white knuckles returned. This time, Karen changed the subject and the heavy air quickly lightened.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12N2cmrQiv
After an hour or so, they arrived at the car park above the beach. Karen’s hat blew away as soon as she got out of the car. She gasped and ran after it but cool gusts of wind kept pushing it away. When she finally managed to pick it up, she pulled it down until it was tight on her head. Frema laughed again, eliminating any chances of Karen’s cheeks cooling down any time soon.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPU7pXBjYvx
There was a constant temperature shift on Karen’s skin as the cool sea breeze battled against the blazing sun. The air smelled salty and sounded like giggling children, reminding Karen that she was a grown woman going to the beach without her family. She tried to pull down her hat even further to cover her face but it would not budge.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJC2lrSKmmp
The two giggled like the kids nearby as they hobbled down the wooden stairs to the beach. Frema raised her arms and drank in the sun before taking her shoes off and running to the shore. Karen gingerly sat down on the sand and watched her splash around.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXi1vq7U5Kx
At one point, she looked up at the sky. It was mostly clear but had a few clouds. The very last time she had gone to the beach with her husband, it was completely clear. She frowned until her gaze returned to Frema. A few clouds would have to do.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXNCmk06RQ
Karen began digging into the sand, taking a large sum of it and dropping it next to the hole. She ignored the stares and continued doing this until she had created a makeshift castle. The dry sand frequently slipped through her fingers, but she loved the coarse texture in her hands. It reminded her of the wood shavings she brushed away when building a cubby house with her daughters.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgu7DSioigd
Sharon and Carol, around age seven at the time, had found a book on woodworking at the school library and begged Karen to help them build something. Her husband joined them and, eventually and reluctantly, so did Kyle. The whole family painted the built cubby house and took multiple photos of Sharon and Carol entering through the little door.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNGdG6UtHS
At the beach, Karen finally realised she had stopped building the sandcastle and was now absentmindedly playing with the sand. Her face was overtaken by a solemn expression, one that Frema noticed all the way from where the shore met the water.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5lV0tkhnp
The taller woman ran back to Karen and asked if she was having fun. Karen crossed her arms and looked away.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCPlB2buZB
‘I am too old for this after all,’ she said.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GC4I9SU7m
Frema knelt down by the sandcastle and inspected it. ‘This is actually pretty good, though.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBusBUaEib8
Karen, her cheeks rivalling the sun above, lifted her hand to push the sandcastle down. Frema grabbed her hand to stop her. Her hand was warm and soft, contrasting against Karen’s skin, chapped from years of building things with her daughters.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1ldVasExY
‘Wait, leave it. I want to take a picture.’ Frema ran back to her car to grab the camera. ‘Smile!’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrURvLxQjOA
‘I said I’m too old for-’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxJpuomEHa
‘Then quit acting like a child,’ Frema retorted with a glare that immediately softened. ‘Come on, smile for me.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRit5pWkGR
Karen sighed but complied. ‘I’ve never been photogenic.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbek0Vm0fI
Frema looked at the photo she had taken. ‘Well, congratulations, 'cause now you are.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQOelyGw47
Karen covered her face. ‘Stop it!’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKrXmkLRHT
‘I’m serious.’ Frema showed her the photo, widening Karen’s eyes. Karen turned her head at an angle as if admiring herself in the mirror. ‘I can take a more stylistic photo with you looking in the distance if you want.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLcYd3v8HH
‘No, that’s quite alright.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6MHbfmKH2
Frema sat next to Karen and took some photos of the ocean, then different shots of the crowd of beachgoers. The two talked as she did this, only taking one break for a lunch of fish and chips near the beach. Over time, the crowd weakened as more families left. Even with the sun beginning to set, Karen didn’t ask to head back home.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJeSOI1TT7X
‘So, what was your son’s name again?’ Karen asked.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNX7JD7VvC
‘Joshua. He’s a very sweet boy. I like to think I raised him right. But try telling his father that.’ Frema paused. ‘Never mind. I’ve said too much.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMiw6HwBir
Did Karen seem like the type not to pry? ‘I’m guessing you two are… divorced?’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQUDUSTkPu
Frema nodded with a sigh. She looked into the viewfinder at the ocean like it could transport her anywhere else. The crashing waves were not quite soothing enough to make the conversation easier.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcuEIy6st2
‘Now Younes has custody every day of the week except for Fridays.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mrYGKGMRx
‘But surely they would give custody to the mother.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QjNZbycDk
‘Well, in the legal system, sure. For the religious divorce, well, I guess I’m just lucky he agreed to divorce me instead of keeping me with him. We made a deal. I get to separate from Younes and see Joshua once a week, so long as I don’t corrupt him.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUegMpoNmFn
Karen’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. ‘Corrupt?’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cMcW5d09k
The camera shook in Frema’s trembling hands. ‘Younes thinks… well, his synagogue thinks… I’m going against the Torah. He’s Orthodox, you see. His particular synagogue doesn’t take too kindly to, uh, gay members.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRBArVYSxF
Something burst in Karen’s chest, creating an explosion of shock, hope and shame. The sensation was so powerful she had to cough it out.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZr6YyNbXkS
‘I see. Are you still, uh, Orthodox?’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy00GkXUItK
‘I’m Reform now.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwy7ZGJd6U
‘Do you like it better?’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyMTC1EIfw
Frema lowered her camera at that question. After a long pause, she replied, ‘I miss the Orthodox traditions sometimes. That’s why I keep following kosher even after leaving.’ With a laugh, she added, ‘Some of my Reform Jewish friends give me funny looks about it, but I want to keep that close connection to my faith. It’s not like I had much choice to leave my Orthodox synagogue. I wasn’t welcome there.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdj3NLaSSEC
She gulped and held her head in shame. ‘I spent so long being my parents’ perfect little girl that I lost myself. I even picked on a boy in year 7 ‘cause he looked gay, whatever 13-year-old me thought that meant.’ Her laugh was pretty but bitter, a shell of its usual self. ‘And for what? So I could end up a giant lezzo myself? I mean, I didn’t know I was at the time, but I still feel like a hypocrite.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjqGRL0mob
She kicked the sand in front of her. ‘As soon as I told Younes the truth about me and asked if we could separate, I knew I had to leave my old life behind. You couldn’t make me go through conversion therapy if you dragged me there by my legs. I had to start anew.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUivnBA9I8q
Karen, unsure how to respond to that, kept silent. The duo listened to the sounds of the beach and matched their breaths to the crashing waves.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuKqcHJEUK
After several minutes, Frema finally spoke. ‘What about you? Did you get divorced?’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7xm0cmqf3
Karen bit her lip. ‘He died… wow, I think it’s been almost three years. Cancer. It’s funny you brought up religion since I’m pretty sure God’s against me. Or, at the very least, he owes me big time for taking him away from me.’ Tears pinched her cheeks as they fell down them, turning them red and sore. Frema reached out to comfort her but pulled back before touching her. ‘He should be making my life easier after letting something so horrible happen, but no! He had to leave me to care for my children alone and find a way to keep my finances together without my husband’s income.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7nUrpk5oo
She flailed her hands about. ‘When I see these young people complaining about dealing with shitty customers, I’m like, boo-hoo! Wait till you have to raise three children alone! Wait till you have to feed more mouths than your own! Wait till you have to worry when the prices of groceries go up! Bloody ungrateful pieces of…’ the rest of the words were jumbled under her low-pitched swear fest.
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBdaU8ZtDa
Frema scowled at her. ‘It’s not their fault life hasn’t dealt you the best cards. You don’t know what their lives are like.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmIVigI7XH
‘It’s got to be easier than mine!’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dYRuAECGH
Having finally spilled these thoughts out of her mouth, the cluttered mess in Karen’s mind cleared. ‘I… I’m sorry. Why do you even put up with me? You hated me until…’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3cpHnlWEK
‘I wouldn’t say ‘hate’. I was half pissed, half amused.’ Frema leaned back on her hands behind her. ‘But when you complimented my jacket, I didn’t know what to think. All I knew was that I had to learn more about you, about how one person could change their treatment of you on a dime. And I’m glad I tried to learn more.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbugSANNQr
Frema’s glorious chuckle returned. ‘I guess it must have been the halo effect or something. I have a feeling I wouldn’t have been so forgiving of your behaviour if you weren’t so cute.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2it5hIFshk
Karen coughed again. ‘What?’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcIcQ1HNal
Frema looked away from her and towards the shore. ‘I said what I said. Don’t worry, I won’t try anything if you’re straight.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxg7IAsVKL8
Karen grasped her own shirt in front of her heart. ‘Of course I’m straight! I had a husband!’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpIBrCUsWE
‘So did I. I don’t know your life.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jHbGWU8TX
‘A husband who I loved. Genuinely.’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIKL2t4f6q
‘Fair enough. There is bisexuality, though.’ Frema nonchalantly placed her hand on Karen’s. Karen had to remind herself to breathe. Of course this had to be happening during a beautiful sunset. Frema’s hand enveloped Karen’s like a warm blanket. ‘Is that a possibility for you?’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRUCklVSU4
Karen couldn’t bring herself to answer. Eventually, she pulled her hand away. ‘Take me home now!’
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPo98aK0sjl
Frema’s eyes glazed over with an unknown emotion. ‘Fine.’ The two headed back to the car and drove back to their suburb. Karen reluctantly gave her address and allowed Frema to take her home. Aside from that, they did not talk the entire trip home535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYokBWV42DK
535Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkyRoOGcft
