Carol and Sharon were arguing in the kitchen. Kyle was holed in his room with his cheap gamer headphones on and Kero Kero Bonito playing loudly in his ears. Anything to block out the yelling.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2hcRZf9a0
Sharon was the loudest but Carol was the one with the clever comebacks. Well, she thought they were clever anyway. What was the topic that tore this household apart? Whose job it was to take out the rubbish.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtyrLkHutu
Karen had tried to calm them down but was now sitting by the kitchen bench with her head in her hands. She eventually stood up and walked to Kyle’s room to confirm something. He was now swearing at a rival player in a game. She saw all the empty cans and dirty clothes on the floor. She went to her bedroom, took out her phone and began her search for babysitters on Friendful Marketplace.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvw3ozFh5QS
The next day, she told the babysitter all she needed to know and made her way out into the outdoors. The sun dipped her smiling lips in a golden feeling of freedom.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRN1EVyDWXt
After a moment of glory, the smile faltered a little. What was Karen going to do now?
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoGSt49d7u
She began wandering around the suburb, basking in the sun but feeling the dead coldness of boredom in her gut. Her eyes searched everywhere they could for something, anything, to do.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lpVGFix64
Her icy interior melted upon seeing a familiar face in an unfamiliar setting. Frema, clad in plain grey sweats, waved goodbye to a teenage boy wearing a kippah as he got inside a car with a man.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplQhl5YQjL
When the car passed Karen, Frema saw her. Frema’s mouth and eyes widened. ‘H-Hello. Fancy seeing you here.’ She placed her hand on a piece of air where she thought the mailbox was, almost tripping over nothing as she continued lowering her hand in search of the mailbox.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rC4sPcISU
Karen blushed on her behalf. ‘Yeah… I’m guessing that was…’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiendmJsXh
‘My son, yes. So, uh, what are you up to?’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFcpRg365a
‘Not much. I’ve got the day to myself, but I don’t know exactly what to do with it.’ Karen chuckled awkwardly.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rnGBvXsQP
‘Same here.’ Frema’s eyes began to glisten. ‘Would you like to go to the beach together?’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8SfjsQCQM
Karen blinked. ‘The beach? Isn’t that a little…’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwasKQpaNTy
‘Well, you’ve got nothing to do, right? Ooh, wait, I’m gonna get my camera!’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwL3pYKaej
Before Karen could protest, Frema ran inside her one-story red brick house. Karen waited next to the lush garden, with its vast array of photogenic flowers. The garden stood in stark contrast to the house itself, which was plain and displayed a big crack in the front window.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQprpeeF66
After a few minutes, Frema came out of her house with a large, age-worn black camera around her neck, two wide-brimmed hats in her hands and a green blazer on her body. Underneath that blazer was a navy blue and white striped top. Her tight denim skirt hugged her curves. Did Karen notice? Is water wet?
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPt4vXsLRLi
Karen looked down at her old, raggedy three-quarter jeans and her loose, slightly holey green t-shirt with the words ‘Follow Your Dreams’ stuck on the chest.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOIOpgUyC6
‘Oh look, we match,’ Frema said. ‘Cute top, by the way.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgBNEuJc0t
Karen grabbed the hem of her top and raised it ever so slightly. ‘This old thing? I didn’t exactly plan on you seeing it.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJ8wx5t0wL
‘I know. Still cute.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhD3dUPRDTs
Cute.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVX7pxMsef
That word lodged itself in Karen’s brain and refused to let go.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNX9sL2fFa
Karen laughed a little too loud. ‘Let’s go to the beach!’ she yelped as she snatched one of the hats and plopped it on her head. Her eye twitched a little at the hat mussing her hair, but ther corners of her mouth stayed up.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRGk23h9ar
‘We’ll take my car,’ Frema insisted. Karen agreed. After Frema drove it out of the garage, Karen squeezed into it. Her knees were nearly up to her chin sitting in this cramped car, but at least it was clean and smelled like lemons.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDNPlTQiGP
While gently putting the camera in the back seat, Frema told her, ‘I’ve got an old MP3 player. Choose any songs you like.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4XKdvzUsj
As she scrolled through the songs, Karen recognised virtually none of them. Some songs appeared to be in foreign languages and others looked like obscure indie rock songs. Frema’s taste looked eclectic, having every genre under the sun. That is, except for pop and popular rock.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4FX880pvl
Karen eventually settled on an obscure rock album that had a pretty cover. Frema grinned. ‘Good choice.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrNm4aVtaH
‘I can’t believe I’m doing this. The beach? Really, Karen?’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWwb3nuF1e
‘Live a little. It’s your day off, right?’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiQ5FVa2Qs
Karen nodded. The car was silent for a moment until Karen spoke. ‘So, uh, your son…’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDNEdRJl0F
‘Joshua. He’s spending the rest of the week with his father.’ Frema’s grip on her wheel tightened, her knuckles turning white. Karen felt a slight sting in her chest at the mention of Frema having a male partner. Frema shook her head. ‘Anyway, what are you looking forward to doing at the beach?’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjm1b1F9sS
Karen looked up at the car ceiling in thought. ‘I haven’t built a sandcastle in years,’ she said. Frema hummed. Karen tilted her gaze down to her lap. ‘How old am I?’ Frema’s pleasantly unpleasant laughter spilled from her lips like expensive wine.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF41VjPEb6Z
Throughout the ride to the beach, Frema spoke the most. However, Karen added to the conversation with relative ease. She asked her where she got the camera from and, after receiving the answer (her father), when she got interested in photography.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRQJCS2yzS
‘I always wanted to try photography but I only really got into it around last year, after…’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhavPzJlQ0
The white knuckles returned. This time, Karen changed the subject and the heavy air quickly lightened.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcYB7cA5e9
After an hour or so, they arrived at the car park above the beach. Karen’s hat blew away as soon as she got out of the car. She gasped and ran after it but cool gusts of wind kept pushing it away. When she finally managed to pick it up, she pulled it down until it was tight on her head. Frema laughed again, eliminating any chances of Karen’s cheeks cooling down any time soon.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxirRXrC0q4
There was a constant temperature shift on Karen’s skin as the cool sea breeze battled against the blazing sun. The air smelled salty and sounded like giggling children, reminding Karen that she was a grown woman going to the beach without her family. She tried to pull down her hat even further to cover her face but it would not budge.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHnrJ9dfvw
The two giggled like the kids nearby as they hobbled down the wooden stairs to the beach. Frema raised her arms and drank in the sun before taking her shoes off and running to the shore. Karen gingerly sat down on the sand and watched her splash around.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0I9ykmnkFI
At one point, she looked up at the sky. It was mostly clear but had a few clouds. The very last time she had gone to the beach with her husband, it was completely clear. She frowned until her gaze returned to Frema. A few clouds would have to do.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMbD3suohA
Karen began digging into the sand, taking a large sum of it and dropping it next to the hole. She ignored the stares and continued doing this until she had created a makeshift castle. The dry sand frequently slipped through her fingers, but she loved the coarse texture in her hands. It reminded her of the wood shavings she brushed away when building a cubby house with her daughters.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XQ3mXD4Zm
Sharon and Carol, around age seven at the time, had found a book on woodworking at the school library and begged Karen to help them build something. Her husband joined them and, eventually and reluctantly, so did Kyle. The whole family painted the built cubby house and took multiple photos of Sharon and Carol entering through the little door.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyZ42I6Egi
At the beach, Karen finally realised she had stopped building the sandcastle and was now absentmindedly playing with the sand. Her face was overtaken by a solemn expression, one that Frema noticed all the way from where the shore met the water.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdEhNCdKUp
The taller woman ran back to Karen and asked if she was having fun. Karen crossed her arms and looked away.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUpHLb7LTM
‘I am too old for this after all,’ she said.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjZZBEKjVs
Frema knelt down by the sandcastle and inspected it. ‘This is actually pretty good, though.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmnmRIEWUI
Karen, her cheeks rivalling the sun above, lifted her hand to push the sandcastle down. Frema grabbed her hand to stop her. Her hand was warm and soft, contrasting against Karen’s skin, chapped from years of building things with her daughters.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJwcxc5JE1
‘Wait, leave it. I want to take a picture.’ Frema ran back to her car to grab the camera. ‘Smile!’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlkeA7joVm
‘I said I’m too old for-’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4cvZzxTfo
‘Then quit acting like a child,’ Frema retorted with a glare that immediately softened. ‘Come on, smile for me.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMGRYU9ANb
Karen sighed but complied. ‘I’ve never been photogenic.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5paPbGilZa
Frema looked at the photo she had taken. ‘Well, congratulations, 'cause now you are.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVm8ig59ah
Karen covered her face. ‘Stop it!’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUzM1LrTLt
‘I’m serious.’ Frema showed her the photo, widening Karen’s eyes. Karen turned her head at an angle as if admiring herself in the mirror. ‘I can take a more stylistic photo with you looking in the distance if you want.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2uwznhSFy
‘No, that’s quite alright.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxElXbLKGwk
Frema sat next to Karen and took some photos of the ocean, then different shots of the crowd of beachgoers. The two talked as she did this, only taking one break for a lunch of fish and chips near the beach. Over time, the crowd weakened as more families left. Even with the sun beginning to set, Karen didn’t ask to head back home.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPWN1JTRL7
‘So, what was your son’s name again?’ Karen asked.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGOiGqdKd6
‘Joshua. He’s a very sweet boy. I like to think I raised him right. But try telling his father that.’ Frema paused. ‘Never mind. I’ve said too much.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyXi7UbCzj
Did Karen seem like the type not to pry? ‘I’m guessing you two are… divorced?’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDlMI3KpbV
Frema nodded with a sigh. She looked into the viewfinder at the ocean like it could transport her anywhere else. The crashing waves were not quite soothing enough to make the conversation easier.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2VSt8tZp5
‘Now Younes has custody every day of the week except for Fridays.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQdnw7DeZt
‘But surely they would give custody to the mother.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDE1jI75fu
‘Well, in the legal system, sure. For the religious divorce, well, I guess I’m just lucky he agreed to divorce me instead of keeping me with him. We made a deal. I get to separate from Younes and see Joshua once a week, so long as I don’t corrupt him.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbvMVHLvIB
Karen’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. ‘Corrupt?’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfnJgXZRT8
The camera shook in Frema’s trembling hands. ‘Younes thinks… well, his synagogue thinks… I’m going against the Torah. He’s Orthodox, you see. His particular synagogue doesn’t take too kindly to, uh, gay members.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxY2ADCBBcO
Something burst in Karen’s chest, creating an explosion of shock, hope and shame. The sensation was so powerful she had to cough it out.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQMKuF1Lue
‘I see. Are you still, uh, Orthodox?’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rTHJ50V0m
‘I’m Reform now.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTIBPVe3O2
‘Do you like it better?’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGRbfDkhBQ
Frema lowered her camera at that question. After a long pause, she replied, ‘I miss the Orthodox traditions sometimes. That’s why I keep following kosher even after leaving.’ With a laugh, she added, ‘Some of my Reform Jewish friends give me funny looks about it, but I want to keep that close connection to my faith. It’s not like I had much choice to leave my Orthodox synagogue. I wasn’t welcome there.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wPxLUMtwg
She gulped and held her head in shame. ‘I spent so long being my parents’ perfect little girl that I lost myself. I even picked on a boy in year 7 ‘cause he looked gay, whatever 13-year-old me thought that meant.’ Her laugh was pretty but bitter, a shell of its usual self. ‘And for what? So I could end up a giant lezzo myself? I mean, I didn’t know I was at the time, but I still feel like a hypocrite.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3Ct1stRwI
She kicked the sand in front of her. ‘As soon as I told Younes the truth about me and asked if we could separate, I knew I had to leave my old life behind. You couldn’t make me go through conversion therapy if you dragged me there by my legs. I had to start anew.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Fnm8pKoPz
Karen, unsure how to respond to that, kept silent. The duo listened to the sounds of the beach and matched their breaths to the crashing waves.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54Zhbe0v0X
After several minutes, Frema finally spoke. ‘What about you? Did you get divorced?’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GnqWSOwO5
Karen bit her lip. ‘He died… wow, I think it’s been almost three years. Cancer. It’s funny you brought up religion since I’m pretty sure God’s against me. Or, at the very least, he owes me big time for taking him away from me.’ Tears pinched her cheeks as they fell down them, turning them red and sore. Frema reached out to comfort her but pulled back before touching her. ‘He should be making my life easier after letting something so horrible happen, but no! He had to leave me to care for my children alone and find a way to keep my finances together without my husband’s income.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEmsXXAvxg
She flailed her hands about. ‘When I see these young people complaining about dealing with shitty customers, I’m like, boo-hoo! Wait till you have to raise three children alone! Wait till you have to feed more mouths than your own! Wait till you have to worry when the prices of groceries go up! Bloody ungrateful pieces of…’ the rest of the words were jumbled under her low-pitched swear fest.
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡez9PNWPEIe
Frema scowled at her. ‘It’s not their fault life hasn’t dealt you the best cards. You don’t know what their lives are like.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7GmebSdim
‘It’s got to be easier than mine!’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfI6oyHZMoT
Having finally spilled these thoughts out of her mouth, the cluttered mess in Karen’s mind cleared. ‘I… I’m sorry. Why do you even put up with me? You hated me until…’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnyLoFqBSr
‘I wouldn’t say ‘hate’. I was half pissed, half amused.’ Frema leaned back on her hands behind her. ‘But when you complimented my jacket, I didn’t know what to think. All I knew was that I had to learn more about you, about how one person could change their treatment of you on a dime. And I’m glad I tried to learn more.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKE8hCkc0w
Frema’s glorious chuckle returned. ‘I guess it must have been the halo effect or something. I have a feeling I wouldn’t have been so forgiving of your behaviour if you weren’t so cute.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡru4FtJPxEk
Karen coughed again. ‘What?’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqMnnLeIqZ
Frema looked away from her and towards the shore. ‘I said what I said. Don’t worry, I won’t try anything if you’re straight.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TbmbZDP5D
Karen grasped her own shirt in front of her heart. ‘Of course I’m straight! I had a husband!’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pk2anE4be
‘So did I. I don’t know your life.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKayExSvGYf
‘A husband who I loved. Genuinely.’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgi9s5NhKP8
‘Fair enough. There is bisexuality, though.’ Frema nonchalantly placed her hand on Karen’s. Karen had to remind herself to breathe. Of course this had to be happening during a beautiful sunset. Frema’s hand enveloped Karen’s like a warm blanket. ‘Is that a possibility for you?’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbuInWJjmY
Karen couldn’t bring herself to answer. Eventually, she pulled her hand away. ‘Take me home now!’
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVStjh11XvH
Frema’s eyes glazed over with an unknown emotion. ‘Fine.’ The two headed back to the car and drove back to their suburb. Karen reluctantly gave her address and allowed Frema to take her home. Aside from that, they did not talk the entire trip home531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzPMojH95S
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLoDd2WA2z
