x
No Plagiarism!Fb9pk86okcdsXpr0rqC3posted on PENANA 書本名稱:雨過天晴 (底下藍字為作品連結)8964 copyright protection445PENANAYF1kerug3x 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANA4tbYeMGbXv
8964 copyright protection445PENANAjD8iggwhaa 維尼
作者:凌語449Please respect copyright.PENANABWrmUw7gAU
8964 copyright protection445PENANAhA154XeA6F 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAIUiJTRFvx1
8964 copyright protection445PENANApKNXV7T1YW 維尼
評文範圍:全文 (粗估大概兩千六百字上下) 上、下、番外8964 copyright protection445PENANA6U34AEtOtW 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAEZ4JSnYW9Z
8964 copyright protection445PENANApgWbAHLzYg 維尼
◇8964 copyright protection445PENANAlt3oFRanbw 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAdt5IaQZz0P
8964 copyright protection445PENANAmjRWjaIUqR 維尼
我覺得在評這篇作品以前,我想要先來定義一下我對於小說長短的分類8964 copyright protection445PENANArYYgPZjkOL 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAHwYFAzF3gd
8964 copyright protection445PENANAigUxFpjLwh 維尼
首先四千字以內的部分是極短篇8964 copyright protection445PENANADocXQDwspL 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAvOh08PPAdV
8964 copyright protection445PENANARvN90oWKlN 維尼
八千字以內的故事是短篇8964 copyright protection445PENANAoAQk8hpZ3t 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAlTj7ahVvYN
8964 copyright protection445PENANA2jOoCRzWgG 維尼
五萬字以內的是中長篇8964 copyright protection445PENANAGZKlsLZxiV 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANATTiiZ76cOV
8964 copyright protection445PENANABBStuc5EXc 維尼
八萬以內的故事是長篇(雖然我知道這不算長)8964 copyright protection445PENANA12dWvH3nCH 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAbUSz7W0FP9
8964 copyright protection445PENANAU9owoeBfOC 維尼
八萬字以上的就是達實體出版字數要求的作品8964 copyright protection445PENANAAZhhjLTKIP 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAzFWaxEE7At
8964 copyright protection445PENANA4r7CxsrOhY 維尼
(八萬到十五萬字是一般實體書籍字數,也就是一般我們手上拿的一本書的字數)8964 copyright protection445PENANAtlG2moaljg 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAgqt7jOVEYX
449Please respect copyright.PENANAfOEmiOIUgv
8964 copyright protection445PENANA82pVpqatWf 維尼
這篇由凌語作著的《雨過天晴》就是屬於極短篇的範圍。8964 copyright protection445PENANABZKWvsl7E6 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAuX4wGooaeS
449Please respect copyright.PENANAYrcKzbA46F
8964 copyright protection445PENANA5H7OB4RrEs 維尼
|故事簡介8964 copyright protection445PENANA603oUT5SdK 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAQaexb3hRYb
8964 copyright protection445PENANAvds7vY5YjM 維尼
#摘錄自《雨過天晴》上篇貼文page68964 copyright protection445PENANAggJ54O4Jfz 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANA62gwCurIWr
8964 copyright protection445PENANAklwK8TCTvM 維尼
換上嶄新的畫布,拉開窗簾,顧綵盯著窗外灰暗的天空,以水彩調和如出一轍的色調,用力的潑灑、塗抹著。8964 copyright protection445PENANAp16z9Zbg0v 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAh7wcHHNzzo
8964 copyright protection445PENANAcLTFhc0CwB 維尼
-8964 copyright protection445PENANAt7HjnehkdF 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAuswVXq3cTY
8964 copyright protection445PENANARxJWxdRPOa 維尼
嶄新的畫布、盯著窗外灰暗的天空、用力,彷彿可以感受到顧綵的心聲,她不想要現在這個樣子,她用力的潑灑、揮手落筆。以為只要自己畫下一場細雨落落,那麼心間的綿霂雨聲可以就此止歇。8964 copyright protection445PENANAsk2ksFYgum 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAkgOY9oSLfZ
8964 copyright protection445PENANA1bWHk2P1da 維尼
可是沒有用的,還是好痛。8964 copyright protection445PENANAu87dSAIuX8 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANA1HmewUdPRv
8964 copyright protection445PENANAKWRIzbh70B 維尼
「如出一轍的色調」、「作過千百次的畫」被她『隨手』撕下。8964 copyright protection445PENANAk4AfgYdZ85 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAsI8vHFgfsw
8964 copyright protection445PENANAFTOkWZoXsc 維尼
在自己扎心的痛楚中險些溺斃的她,沒有注意到杵在門外的他。8964 copyright protection445PENANAcfTRBYKofW 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAzaY8053deS
449Please respect copyright.PENANAFly7lABDkx
8964 copyright protection445PENANAnUDBSSlKO3 維尼
這是一場遇見、不負遇見的故事。8964 copyright protection445PENANAcJg4ZBT9ZQ 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAvqGeoxXU74
449Please respect copyright.PENANAsu2PoVs68O
449Please respect copyright.PENANADWQXe6lMoO
8964 copyright protection445PENANAsoZbj8foiW 維尼
「雖然不知道發生了什麼,但願早日雨過天晴。」8964 copyright protection445PENANAqDCGysjubm 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAyn2x8yJagJ
8964 copyright protection445PENANAr01fIkjB6Z 維尼
-摘錄自《雨過天晴》上篇貼文page78964 copyright protection445PENANAQ5JPrswFYc 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAhtYX0VaUOl
449Please respect copyright.PENANAEkZZMJzpW1
8964 copyright protection445PENANAHwJdFzOqS9 維尼
|作者文筆特色8964 copyright protection445PENANAdNAyBrSX3q 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAZb6AStdtFE
8964 copyright protection445PENANAlefoK5GDeo 維尼
作者善用意象、象徵,故事全篇角色情緒與帶入感都表現的不錯,雨過天晴的意境貫徹始終。8964 copyright protection445PENANAumU9AHcn4M 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAi32mHmR8An
8964 copyright protection445PENANAIR32MAs8dM 維尼
在作者的筆下,雖然不知道導致主人公如此的起因,但卻也可以清晰地感覺到顧綵的糾結,以及「渴望雨過放晴」。8964 copyright protection445PENANAjQsp9mjgOH 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAXg3ZtJU89P
8964 copyright protection445PENANAWT16RF6ABc 維尼
就像我前面說的作者善用意象、象徵,故而使得筆下的故事充滿著文藝感,讀者閱讀時也會感受到作者對於文字塑造的美感。8964 copyright protection445PENANApiQyXEgEqp 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAzajCHpQdEt
8964 copyright protection445PENANAq5YVY3v9Vv 維尼
作者的筆風是比較像是輕文學(不是輕小說),能輕鬆閱讀且引人回味、稍稍感慨。8964 copyright protection445PENANA5Tra3YJclC 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAf3Ho9BlaE1
8964 copyright protection445PENANAHJT0aiVgQD 維尼
多次的時間切換中卻不會讓讀者混亂,小說節奏掌握的極佳,是一篇完整度頗高的極短篇。8964 copyright protection445PENANAEnZJaWHRxh 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAxCkJnWIzOf
449Please respect copyright.PENANARePZf5FSF3
8964 copyright protection445PENANA7BOD5OTNdk 維尼
|故事起頭:落筆方向性明確,不過仍有些可以改進的地方8964 copyright protection445PENANAKiZvR3Lo1k 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAmdV0cCk5vZ
8964 copyright protection445PENANASYYax0CB5e 維尼
極短篇的篇幅如其名「極短」,所以下筆時最忌諱沒有方向性,不知所云、讓人感到迷惘。不過作者落筆的方向性十分明確,她很清楚的知道自己要往哪裡施力。8964 copyright protection445PENANAiat7bZCdnq 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANA2kqyFzvyE0
8964 copyright protection445PENANAI98a6hAolD 維尼
第一次看過去的時候我認為,其作品本身的可讀性是高的,是屬於那種可以輕鬆閱讀的行文(這是優點),但我在第二次細讀的時候卻好像總覺得沒有到很通順。8964 copyright protection445PENANAaacu1QNaaP 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANA7ojZ5iucRJ
8964 copyright protection445PENANAu4shMLLcPV 維尼
第三次閱覽的時候我愣然發現其實是作者的筆墨不夠俐落,假若作者可以改進這個問題,文章流暢感會更上一層樓。8964 copyright protection445PENANAi1jbLtj8SK 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAhwvULnWFZ3
8964 copyright protection445PENANAkonoQOrAOP 維尼
雖說接下來的內容也許我會被認為是在雞蛋裡挑骨頭,但這都說我基於作者在極短篇的程度早已脫離初學者的範疇所給出有點吹毛求疵的見解。8964 copyright protection445PENANAEyT6O0B2k7 維尼
-8964 copyright protection445PENANA1NAEiWSZlj 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAORsIRWuasr
8964 copyright protection445PENANAToEvhJaRYV 維尼
#摘錄自《雨過天晴》上篇貼文page28964 copyright protection445PENANAGoqJf64gbz 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAb1YfkAW6ng
8964 copyright protection445PENANAZP4XZKPCZC 維尼
「我只是覺得,有些心煩事,不畫下來,似乎就會永遠停駐在心上,但常常,反而越畫越悶。」少女坐在畫布前,淡藍制服上衣上繡著學號,下身搭配深色及膝裙,然而,這身洋溢著青春氣息的裝扮,卻被憂鬱到欲哭的神情襯得沉重。8964 copyright protection445PENANAXnnaUrtyaj 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAbhOahsdAql
8964 copyright protection445PENANAZSzXZwMWtL 維尼
「那麼,畫些能讓你開心的吧。」少年移動腳步,又往她挨近了些,眉宇間夾帶藏不住的溫情,他拉住少女的右手,柔和的引導,先沾點橘黃,在一片灰濛的景色中,添上一顆,閃閃發亮的太陽。8964 copyright protection445PENANAhvo2OmDi7U 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANA3C9duCJAEG
8964 copyright protection445PENANAQfU9sPaTj0 維尼
「畫顆太陽,不是就能雨過天晴了嗎?」 周煦,如太陽般的少年,牽動唇,輕哂道。8964 copyright protection445PENANAKDBwCIBC2p 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAXzXECG6OCq
8964 copyright protection445PENANATBEK2M1gYU 維尼
-8964 copyright protection445PENANAni3e7ELgQL 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAzprQSbLseV
8964 copyright protection445PENANAfOjsP5CowB 維尼
(i) 第一句主人公說話時,不斷使用逗號的斷句讓這句對話讀起來的割裂感太重了。8964 copyright protection445PENANAilGqnw1sVE 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAfcnGbKAMR4
8964 copyright protection445PENANAhE8aEP5WWY 維尼
(ii) 文中「又往她挨近了些」的「又」在此使用不合理。8964 copyright protection445PENANAFOrpr7c9hp 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANASFdyO3YoVV
8964 copyright protection445PENANADDdZwibZWK 維尼
(iii) 文中「移動腳步,又往她挨近了些」也存在邏輯錯誤,既是「移動腳步」就是一段距離,而「挨近了些」是非常小段的距離,並不需要移動腳步。8964 copyright protection445PENANA5DVOQ3HjAV 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANA8zOxwVZP55
8964 copyright protection445PENANApLqqHPTwAR 維尼
以下是我順過的內容僅供參考:8964 copyright protection445PENANAUrS7EdQRdR 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAZahsacBq8m
8964 copyright protection445PENANApIoBQAOVG2 維尼
「我覺得有些心煩事不畫出來,似乎就會永遠停駐在心上,但畫了下來卻總越畫越悶。」少女坐在畫布前,一身洋溢青春氣息的制服與百摺校裙卻被她憂鬱低落的神情襯得沉重。8964 copyright protection445PENANAebbVRS2P3T 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANA4hQOFO9C0e
8964 copyright protection445PENANAqbgbII793n 維尼
「為什麼不畫點開心的事呢?」少年輕笑,往她挨近些。眉宇間有著藏不住的溫情,拉住少女握住畫筆的手。8964 copyright protection445PENANAgq8kjZxuRK 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAxCbP0O8rwm
8964 copyright protection445PENANAMgy8kKzEQZ 維尼
在一片灰濛的色調中,點上一顆,足以掃去細雨陰霾的太陽。8964 copyright protection445PENANAIVenVWgrrj 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANA43P6UXowcC
8964 copyright protection445PENANAYXuUlNnM66 維尼
「畫顆太陽,不是就能雨過天晴了嗎?」 周煦,如太陽般的少年,牽動唇,輕哂道。8964 copyright protection445PENANAKAk06G5UKY 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANA9qo2E4W5fV
8964 copyright protection445PENANA5fKj2hhDwR 維尼
我的想法:8964 copyright protection445PENANAvy3vXKC3EC 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAfaxS6aLKSS
8964 copyright protection445PENANAY2oMG7nw0B 維尼
不合理的斷句是我也會犯的錯誤(此處不合理指的是現實中不會有這樣的對白斷句),有時候會因為想要強調,或者說覺得這樣斷句會有文學上的美感,但時常帶入情境後會發現這樣的手法並不是很恰當,會造成讀者在閱讀中的不通順感。8964 copyright protection445PENANAeIVfO8c2wi 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAU4L1G50Vio
8964 copyright protection445PENANAMhsgSuwQPN 維尼
我覺得無論是怎樣長度篇幅的文章,用字下的精確都是可以讓筆墨更上一層樓的關鍵8964 copyright protection445PENANAdwWnvzdEns 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAb27waRzZZk
8964 copyright protection445PENANA6pmzfmKN3C 維尼
-8964 copyright protection445PENANATQx1AsiDxd 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANA3a687VOqER
8964 copyright protection445PENANAvcFCcpIowj 維尼
在一片灰濛的景色中,添上一顆,閃閃發亮的太陽。8964 copyright protection445PENANA7kVi8WhtpP 維尼
>>8964 copyright protection445PENANAVeeR4n1EzO 維尼
在一片灰濛的色調中,點上一顆,足以掃去細雨陰霾的太陽。8964 copyright protection445PENANAdp7PnGfCp0 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAf12w92gQEQ
8964 copyright protection445PENANAbL8TfVamhZ 維尼
上面是作者的原文內容,下面是若是我來執筆會寫的句子。8964 copyright protection445PENANA530bgNMHoM 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAAzRroLmNk7
8964 copyright protection445PENANA47NNkNOFFo 維尼
沒有說誰寫的比較好,這段我只是多提供一個另外一種的版本,算是一種交流。8964 copyright protection445PENANAOvgVA06vxX 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAm2WcNUz7Dv
8964 copyright protection445PENANA9QIFZOBe43 維尼
作者的筆法強調的是周旭如陽的耀眼,而我是參考作者在文內所提供的「雨過天晴」的意境。8964 copyright protection445PENANAvZ5xD9cRKx 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAI83JKTan9b
8964 copyright protection445PENANA8hszhj84wI 維尼
-8964 copyright protection445PENANAgf9UQwpkhS 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAdMsbrDZEDV
8964 copyright protection445PENANAMlN0rTvBUw 維尼
「畫顆太陽,不是就能雨過天晴了嗎?」 周煦,如太陽般的少年,牽動唇,輕哂道。8964 copyright protection445PENANAFKtWWRYxpp 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAny8LqoG91a
8964 copyright protection445PENANAheN6v2GhdE 維尼
我認為第一頁以這一段結尾非常好「『畫顆太陽,不是就能雨過天晴了嗎?』」 這一句有足夠的份量作為這一段的收尾。8964 copyright protection445PENANAHMeeWeosnY 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAjTD9QaEYWg
449Please respect copyright.PENANADFpuQVf9ts
8964 copyright protection445PENANA72nQzRIYK7 維尼
|上篇page3,4 過渡區平穩發揮,轉折張力的氣氛描寫佳8964 copyright protection445PENANAMafJiI8MRR 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAc8o5hGABDy
8964 copyright protection445PENANARrUGrGByc6 維尼
我很喜歡文中的「又得,一個人了嗎?」這段,雖然說我仍舊認為此段的逗號讓這句無力感的悲慟變得有些不乾脆,不過此處的割裂感就沒有那麼強了,反倒是作者在這裡的映襯手法深得我心。8964 copyright protection445PENANAMjiMsqaZLp 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAUq7PtzUdOD
8964 copyright protection445PENANAIHJqHlw3ZI 維尼
老舊木門、桌椅散亂、顏料款式眾多卻紛雜不已、被丟得胡亂的畫布……一直到「會來此作畫的,可能就只有她了吧。」作者用了這些元素來烘托出主人公的落寂感。8964 copyright protection445PENANAcw8OEu3Lzn 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAA28ijl5heE
8964 copyright protection445PENANAuMZn6Ung8J 維尼
另外,在我反覆閱讀此段的時候,我赫然發現作者在描寫顧綵進入五樓美術教室時,運鏡表現的超級合理───8964 copyright protection445PENANA74DSNdCtia 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANA4Ix4BR0HS5
8964 copyright protection445PENANA6uqUdPCm4Y 維尼
首先我們打開一間房間(教室)的時候,反射性的都是先看這個空間中間的部分(美術教室中間通常是桌椅,這邊不討論門一打開是講桌的特例),再來是看見周邊的櫃子,最後才會看到旁邊的地板與門邊。8964 copyright protection445PENANAvcUijUZ6aj 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAyRD97zrrN2
8964 copyright protection445PENANA7cTdmwiU0B 維尼
魔鬼藏在細節裡啊!8964 copyright protection445PENANA0yk1Z1f6f4 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAi7cCQS6Ye1
449Please respect copyright.PENANA0PUUAZq14G
8964 copyright protection445PENANATF0csanho5 維尼
|理所當然的話語,卻有濃厚的「救贖感」8964 copyright protection445PENANAbYcyPl1p8J 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAqwiUk99abw
8964 copyright protection445PENANA13XAZEq9IK 維尼
#摘錄自《雨過天晴》上篇貼文page68964 copyright protection445PENANArIzZYDsOGq 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAx2AikGLLNl
8964 copyright protection445PENANAi6yQutaFMw 維尼
「不會有永遠下不完的雨。」8964 copyright protection445PENANAWq0vD1TUVr 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANApBdWCxc2k3
8964 copyright protection445PENANABrsCuXg5mo 維尼
-8964 copyright protection445PENANAYcKBjdeWHB 維尼
我認為一句理所當然的話語,在不同的情境下,其所有的份量想必也是不同的吧。8964 copyright protection445PENANAOzm0FV0383 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANABz4HtlvdZ2
449Please respect copyright.PENANADdwzYFEDAm
8964 copyright protection445PENANA8plY9RQiiQ 維尼
|收尾:極短篇永遠的短版8964 copyright protection445PENANAlyH3oWKQF3 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANASGlB0Hm2T2
8964 copyright protection445PENANAUYWvi9s70u 維尼
每當我看極短篇的時候,看到結尾時其實我心裡都是掙扎的,因為結局比起其他篇幅的故事,極短篇通常都是在開頭的時候都註定好的。8964 copyright protection445PENANAVZAngMWcGV 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAZKc8OA8vJb
8964 copyright protection445PENANAxPoxiqSidD 維尼
大概就是讀者們早就知道作者會如何讓這個故事點下句點,對於結局的感想總是會格外苛刻。8964 copyright protection445PENANAhPxKFKk3wD 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAWJq5Q6cBab
8964 copyright protection445PENANAlbEWoPWxsx 維尼
而這篇《雨過天晴》在收尾的部分並沒有犯什麼錯,不過我也必須要老實說,在收尾的這個階段也著實沒有什麼亮點。8964 copyright protection445PENANAehZkJRS4lx 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAqMwVOcj4We
8964 copyright protection445PENANAQs4OeF1oha 維尼
但顧綵也已經知道,時雨爾後就是天晴。8964 copyright protection445PENANAPVQIwo3iH2 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAW2Hy08NBQM
8964 copyright protection445PENANA374gvzaW7A 維尼
我想寫到這裡,無論是作者本人,還是任何讀者又或是在寫著這篇評文的我,都已經滿足了。8964 copyright protection445PENANANrKu9GMIIc 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAlxbEEQkZkf
8964 copyright protection445PENANAk7X7p7oGl6 維尼
|格外想提出的小問題8964 copyright protection445PENANAOg2Pw5WVFF 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAJZBpTpyTDN
8964 copyright protection445PENANA6jh0zrTZtv 維尼
(i) 句號不一定要打在一段句子的最後面,段落中也可以有句號8964 copyright protection445PENANAESZZVE6m4A 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAXQVEdUB6Oo
8964 copyright protection445PENANAvBjhCpxQZl 維尼
(ii) 有時有冗言贅字,寫完故事的時候可以從頭到尾、一個一個字來看通不通順8964 copyright protection445PENANAcDTG9Vy3H1 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAMirkteXyWi
8964 copyright protection445PENANAj88J47JImv 維尼
(iii) 番外篇周旭與母親的處理上略顯含糊,不過因為是番外所以此問題可略。8964 copyright protection445PENANAVnY8fZF9Yw 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAztzap3zEwq
449Please respect copyright.PENANAIGIPZj38dq
8964 copyright protection445PENANAkZwfdViY1Z 維尼
|我的個人心得8964 copyright protection445PENANAGDByOelMbu 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANA1l7ih0Q3ru
8964 copyright protection445PENANAwncjH0n7Dw 維尼
首先萬分感謝凌語給我這個幫她所撰寫的《雨過天晴》評文的機會。8964 copyright protection445PENANANrAf0ZtbMn 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAf4DoF03trD
8964 copyright protection445PENANALiNLMSCugE 維尼
極短篇其實算是我的弱項,在限定的字數內完成作品,對於作者在節奏感的掌握是必要的,我覺得我來寫極短篇的話或許完整度比不上凌語就是了。8964 copyright protection445PENANAYsK6EJaCbh 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAOXp2VZfxmj
8964 copyright protection445PENANA7FvPt3jC1Z 維尼
這是我撰寫的第二次評文,相比第一次我已經沒有那麼的不知所措,雖然還是覺得自己的評文還是好凌亂(笑8964 copyright protection445PENANAzOnGA8qvvt 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAlsRgscKQnd
8964 copyright protection445PENANAkouStIYKmL 維尼
所以我依舊是在如何寫出一篇「好的」評文的修行路上,希望自己寫的東西可以幫助到作者們就好了。8964 copyright protection445PENANAZnHWqwehB0 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAxEWQaypFsW
8964 copyright protection445PENANANLoXXk8FCV 維尼
歡迎曾經被我評文過得創作者們繼續跟我討論,也歡迎大家來找我評文。8964 copyright protection445PENANAxXPjyvxYtG 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANAkr9c8XA2PJ
8964 copyright protection445PENANAjh4Pw4vLYh 維尼
我所寫的評文之後都會放在penana公開,巴哈的部分未來有可能也會貼過去。8964 copyright protection445PENANASJy8PWUEAq 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANA4ZWdOCIUUY
8964 copyright protection445PENANAX2IKtNWiVs 維尼
題外話:在打這篇評文的時候我剛好在聽天氣之子的ost,我覺得好配這首歌啊!8964 copyright protection445PENANA9PLCAbk4EU 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANA8kC8D17Sx6
8964 copyright protection445PENANA7NHQricH7d 維尼
449Please respect copyright.PENANA4SZwOqIGqM
8964 copyright protection445PENANAsuPAjPRj1g 維尼
216.73.216.210
ns216.73.216.210da2