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No Plagiarism!9CL0hpkPSvIRFGkFsrGMposted on PENANA 此作者的畫面感以及震撼感的渲染做得十分到位。8964 copyright protection533PENANAaOd1vWzB7p 維尼
所以……這是超級賽亞人嗎?8964 copyright protection533PENANAGfr2o52uDF 維尼
三階頭髮會變長?537Please respect copyright.PENANAPA1QaNJDf0
537Please respect copyright.PENANAf206pfLQvt
8964 copyright protection533PENANAEKjat7Mlxo 維尼
「喝…….喝啊!」8964 copyright protection533PENANAoqrbcy3KGf 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANAEJMCFxULTU
8964 copyright protection533PENANAYQmuqnAnNX 維尼
不是,我喜歡拳拳到肉的快感。8964 copyright protection533PENANABszXbwOjfs 維尼
但你是拳拳到拳。8964 copyright protection533PENANAEsvs2ggbp7 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANAp5qhGoF2hw
8964 copyright protection533PENANArmxp6bmRsn 維尼
每一下,男主角都去接,沒有怎麼受傷。8964 copyright protection533PENANAfoITWzoFWP 維尼
只有巨人縮小至兩米時,被轟飛的那一下。8964 copyright protection533PENANA2jueD9U0lX 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANAN3MSR9ZdDJ
8964 copyright protection533PENANA57JZ36eEsX 維尼
簡單來說就是一部龍傲天作品,並且對話帶點中二的感覺。8964 copyright protection533PENANAuvN4BlgF5J 維尼
可能是我有一點年紀了,並不是那麼喜歡中二的感覺,抱歉,不吃這套。8964 copyright protection533PENANAHTNu0RYsLT 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANAw7vnZtgjXL
8964 copyright protection533PENANA7b9fAO6Tnt 維尼
像開頭所說的,戰鬥的畫面感有到,但主角好像什麼事都沒有一樣,所以男主角一階可以打二階?537Please respect copyright.PENANAhOqzEwzVRn
537Please respect copyright.PENANA78TTv0vhNk
8964 copyright protection533PENANAasICqqyzgh 維尼
戰鬥模式建議改善,我目前看到的都是拳拳到拳,只有巨人被揍到吐血,好歹也讓男主擦個臉頰破皮吧,請給阿諾斯一個面子,謝謝。8964 copyright protection533PENANAbNfcOnRtcD 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANAnAqEYAOQpE
8964 copyright protection533PENANA7ZvD4b488f 維尼
章節的長度問題,在留言區的時候你有跟我提醒了,我不會噴。8964 copyright protection533PENANAOf4kCqV89b 維尼
只是我個人看不慣這樣而已,是否改善就看個人。8964 copyright protection533PENANAqwUHcni05r 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANALxV5S7YZGa
8964 copyright protection533PENANA95DR3NK8c7 維尼
再來全文一萬六千字,你讓我全看男主角一直在跟巨人族打架?8964 copyright protection533PENANADhz5uvMHJU 維尼
你有沒有搞錯?8964 copyright protection533PENANAp8Fa578Ski 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANAScpo33ZZTs
8964 copyright protection533PENANAq8qWcMr0e5 維尼
一直打同一個人就算了,還打不到臉,最可笑的是艾倫的衣服還會自己修好。8964 copyright protection533PENANAXzDmGU4ysh 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANA0Al7IY2ISR
8964 copyright protection533PENANAYdUWNqu2Hl 維尼
我看這個巨人王阿諾斯真的還是回家種田好了,一點敵人的感覺都沒有,戰鬥感有,但刺激感?537Please respect copyright.PENANAQNG4ti1qFR
537Please respect copyright.PENANAEWbEwUSsqx
8964 copyright protection533PENANAPTPSTxytiN 維尼
可以很明白的跟你說,完全沒有。8964 copyright protection533PENANArdL9EIM0oN 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANAdHFeca2jd4
8964 copyright protection533PENANAVkJ2K26ClC 維尼
「我能看到的就是主角開掛般一階幹二階。」8964 copyright protection533PENANACR9zrYQe0o 維尼
天啊,我發自內心的想讓主角受一點傷,留一點點血吧……8964 copyright protection533PENANAGkLAC9ZpiD 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANAySaklu4xO5
8964 copyright protection533PENANAIpSU4VAprV 維尼
一萬六千字全都給我開掛,還全都給我打同一個種田仔,完全就是在跟我開玩笑。8964 copyright protection533PENANAnvOskbUAmK 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANAffBNaxXobj
8964 copyright protection533PENANArmI9RMLPQG 維尼
在看完第一章結尾後,男主角說要「重新開打」,你他媽還要讓我繼續看這龍傲天VS種田仔。537Please respect copyright.PENANAMmimLCOpvC
537Please respect copyright.PENANAowazsnsmNJ
8964 copyright protection533PENANAEkK03odCbp 維尼
說實話,我看不下去,抱歉。8964 copyright protection533PENANAhkAsc3E7vQ 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANAix57qxvmkT
8964 copyright protection533PENANAZEUXfW9vnE 維尼
好歹你也跑一下劇情,做做樣子也好,讀者才不會看的那麼膩。8964 copyright protection533PENANACtVgQFj6rr 維尼
看得出來你會切換視角,為什麼不穿插個支線跑來給我們看,至少讓我緩緩龍傲天跟種田仔的戰鬥尷尬氛圍。8964 copyright protection533PENANAb9WCtKClpw 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANAFqC0IhIimH
8964 copyright protection533PENANAiv8vWLg6Mt 維尼
雖然我噴了那麼多,但該稱讚的我不會審略掉,文筆真的不錯,非常具有畫面感跟史詩般的震撼感,這點是你非常大的優點!8964 copyright protection533PENANAVBlk7g1EBs 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANAiiap3uYvyS
8964 copyright protection533PENANA6fK74jZVjF 維尼
要記住,在一則故事中,需要有起承轉合。8964 copyright protection533PENANAEbbDyqXhYM 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANAgtAJpRLUch
8964 copyright protection533PENANARrlb5M7HR7 維尼
序章就是一路碾,實在看不出何來起承轉合,你這是叫起飛。8964 copyright protection533PENANApQHItCS8yR 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANA4mSgq6luav
8964 copyright protection533PENANAvwpF0h8cud 維尼
明白我的意思嗎?8964 copyright protection533PENANAdbf8pwVHZA 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANAbyixKOK0ZI
8964 copyright protection533PENANA2ugrFYl54D 維尼
評語心得:537Please respect copyright.PENANAI0JmAbLDVZ
537Please respect copyright.PENANAWO1tBciayC
8964 copyright protection533PENANAmGcg39RA2Q 維尼
1. 故事設定的還算不錯,但總體有點過於中二與自我,8964 copyright protection533PENANAgraQfRel0j 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANA8qGVPlvL8P
8964 copyright protection533PENANAqnJVEtgpV7 維尼
2. 簡介打得很棒,有明確吻合主題內容。8964 copyright protection533PENANAdkAKXpzUPW 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANAhlHtMlvjfO
8964 copyright protection533PENANAdolEPY7vVM 維尼
3. 我每一篇都要講一下序章的用途,實在是有一點懶,序章主要是用簡短的文字去概要整體故事跟世界觀,又或者是作者想在這部作品裡表達的深層涵義。8964 copyright protection533PENANA4R88xWKH33 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANAgurcM91DxF
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4. 節奏拿捏的太長,一直欺負人家種田的,艾倫還是不是人?能不能節奏快點?8964 copyright protection533PENANAQt1iCcsq5e 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANA1LTALEjzBl
8964 copyright protection533PENANAX0gNyR46X8 維尼
5.龍傲天作品沒有不好,也是有許多非常優秀的作品,但我個人不是那麼喜歡龍傲天而已。8964 copyright protection533PENANAmbGHnfEhF3 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANAYlO9R2rwZ0
8964 copyright protection533PENANAkFuNFOU928 維尼
總分:50537Please respect copyright.PENANAqedjqt7kWt
537Please respect copyright.PENANA2XbE9214Vm
8964 copyright protection533PENANAvfC6WByFrp 維尼
如果作者能把打種田仔的節奏拉快,且不要拳拳到拳的尷尬感的話,相信我。8964 copyright protection533PENANAzc770rMsZN 維尼
你的作品會更加的優秀!8964 copyright protection533PENANAcWHIDKgRu7 維尼
因為你本身就具有寫出壯闊史詩感的流暢文筆,如果上述的缺點加以補正,我相信這部作品就可以稱得上是佳作了。 8964 copyright protection533PENANAFP4iOoIKdw 維尼
537Please respect copyright.PENANAzN2C1WC6dl
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