x
No Plagiarism!5KCKsUb1SEBvwcMV1X2Lposted on PENANA
8964 copyright protection519PENANAGwVCIfdRII 維尼
大家好,今天我將爲緬因吉的作品《在異世界?的那些事》寫下心得。8964 copyright protection519PENANA4DtXEdnbzG 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAcoFXtgBlOx
8964 copyright protection519PENANAbesneoUQ5m 維尼
首先,依然不厭其煩地先説明我對於心得的想法。8964 copyright protection519PENANAYuckDP00IP 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAj4Ban2bkYK
8964 copyright protection519PENANArYkmkx9hK3 維尼
在這個寫得好並不代表一定有人氣的嚴苛環境下,我希望心得不只是單純挖掘作者可進步的點,還希望作者能夠獲得動力完成作品,甚至……8964 copyright protection519PENANAHkbzMeOY1G 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANATFdNfDovvh
8964 copyright protection519PENANAolBQCBshQS 維尼
能夠讓心得替這部作品召來更多讀者。8964 copyright protection519PENANAwgY2ndjgwh 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAorjSkoVTRi
8964 copyright protection519PENANAu3IQ3VOXaM 維尼
有鑒於此,本心得將會分爲兩個部分:8964 copyright protection519PENANAPNwvXRi7BU 維尼
1)寫給讀者的宣傳式心得8964 copyright protection519PENANASxIiHDdNnj 維尼
2)面向作者的分享式心得8964 copyright protection519PENANAtwHBE6owfi 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAkHjQ20wrq2
8964 copyright protection519PENANAgOtjUclGZT 維尼
事不宜遲,現在開始。8964 copyright protection519PENANA6THqD1Y0Iy 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAt22UQiQsfZ
8964 copyright protection519PENANA1PRRmNY3Wq 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAECO4ZV0SQ4
8964 copyright protection519PENANASZlJuC0Rdz 維尼
1)寫給讀者的宣傳式心得8964 copyright protection519PENANADNdGL0JwJJ 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAZA8V3wtWwS
8964 copyright protection519PENANAeoOg0B2WPW 維尼
首先,《在異世界?的那些事》是個怎樣的故事呢?8964 copyright protection519PENANAw1g3QNe0in 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANA1PvsQWsqfh
8964 copyright protection519PENANAiT8iKeN5nI 維尼
主角MOOMIN……
8964 copyright protection519PENANA9NSMnhVP9g 維尼
咳!我是説主角常睦民。抱歉,睦民這個名字總是讓我想起動畫角色MOOMIN。8964 copyright protection519PENANAy7zvMedpQF 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANA7iSXYTHI3V
8964 copyright protection519PENANANt4FRlBXiC 維尼
從頭來過。8964 copyright protection519PENANAfwWV1fgMYM 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAyS6HOAND2z
8964 copyright protection519PENANAecSn1zJdKI 維尼
根據我所閲讀的範圍,主角常睦民是位過氣的小説家,後來因爲接連的意外而丟了性命,來到了很多獸人的世界,並與八十公分高的武士服美少女--愛歐塔,一起展開收集水晶的異世界冒險。8964 copyright protection519PENANAyrVf6HP7BV 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANALaYduQ5ryn
8964 copyright protection519PENANAFZce7VXZbp 維尼
表面上是這樣。8964 copyright protection519PENANAOwpeEs0tw8 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAv3VELR2Dde
8964 copyright protection519PENANAyw0EqxXuV2 維尼
這部作品乍一看是爛大街的異世界轉生題材,但種種跡象表明並沒那麽簡單。8964 copyright protection519PENANAqiQneD2MIG 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAqNkbcUW2Tn
8964 copyright protection519PENANA18ECESeYZd 維尼
書名《在異世界?的那些事》中,就能看見「異世界」三個字旁有個問號。8964 copyright protection519PENANAnYzh6zxseG 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAFTGQQH4JqT
8964 copyright protection519PENANAHy7VknKO4d 維尼
常睦民在現實世界遭遇車禍時,還親眼看見一隻類似浩克的晶石怪物。之後穿越到異世界(?)時,還隱約聽見什麽「重生計劃,第二十八次,啟動」。8964 copyright protection519PENANASyQPJC2jsQ 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAUbmfRvZnn3
8964 copyright protection519PENANAFtihs59FRm 維尼
而在醫院,常睦民的母親和親戚交談時,還提過什麽「强化裝甲」和「新能源」之類,似乎所在的「現實世界」擁有挺高的科技力。8964 copyright protection519PENANAk3fVryEfrH 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAqEhVbhxaVG
8964 copyright protection519PENANAivHykSXSmV 維尼
至於真相是什麽呢?8964 copyright protection519PENANAuTc1FeNhoT 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAqauhDlYRWz
8964 copyright protection519PENANAOMQWKrNCGs 維尼
那就唯有閲讀到最後才會知道了。8964 copyright protection519PENANAfEeznksNee 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANATWipBLqa3P
8964 copyright protection519PENANAsbLvmlx1Hw 維尼
除了「這個異世界真的是異世界?」的賣點外,作者在戰鬥方面描寫得還挺不錯的,看看這一段:8964 copyright protection519PENANABjFKLrxUYI 維尼
8964 copyright protection519PENANA5qovUpbb63 維尼
充滿畫面感之餘,節奏也不拖沓,在此向喜歡戰鬥的讀者們强力推薦。8964 copyright protection519PENANAlZjyyrsPaz 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANA68fvnEXzK9
8964 copyright protection519PENANAvp9xMaoZC7 維尼
對了,上面的癸就是封面的這位:8964 copyright protection519PENANAKHQjPCkSVj 維尼
8964 copyright protection519PENANA8kWNyPEBNs 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAHVJWK0Lrfp
8964 copyright protection519PENANANahEDWgQbM 維尼
除了癸,故事裏還有另一隻非常可愛的女角色,那就是只有八十公分高的武士服美少女—愛歐塔:8964 copyright protection519PENANAUbFxtwpOxs 維尼
8964 copyright protection519PENANA52WylMTtHN 維尼
怎樣?是不是開始心動了呢?8964 copyright protection519PENANAt2WWEmj15i 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAqPoAySwUg6
8964 copyright protection519PENANALQuKMHG6Df 維尼
不過在這裏得提醒各位,就是故事的開展並沒那麽快,不能依據黃金三章的方式來評斷。8964 copyright protection519PENANAncJhMjC2VC 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAeqokHz3UIo
8964 copyright protection519PENANAoTTqzvSbu5 維尼
爲了鋪墊「這個異世界真的是異世界?」的伏筆,常睦民直到第6話才進入獸人的世界,而主角的第一場戰鬥更是遲至第12話才發生。8964 copyright protection519PENANAORZdFS5PNF 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAesWuIXBE6z
8964 copyright protection519PENANAvgJyNCFmkL 維尼
那麽……做好心理準備了嗎?8964 copyright protection519PENANA7aW831wHV7 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANANGuznpqYgI
8964 copyright protection519PENANAUWje1D16ko 維尼
好,點擊以下連結,開始你的異世界?之旅吧!8964 copyright protection519PENANADU7QcejdPm 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAl6oPVVvXv3
8964 copyright protection519PENANAMy8GYomreW 維尼
連結:8964 copyright protection519PENANAwKU9cM83yo 維尼
https://www.penana.com/article/7889898964 copyright protection519PENANAVpDJQzi2Ul 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAoBgHIuuLER
8964 copyright protection519PENANAYvQiYu9HRT 維尼
以上就是《寫給讀者的宣傳式心得》。8964 copyright protection519PENANAxPagV9Q5QO 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAHgk3L4I6As
8964 copyright protection519PENANAYWCBp02bO2 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANA6DVilDt338
8964 copyright protection519PENANAGDD2Wu3O7R 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAbTDnXuzEA3
8964 copyright protection519PENANAPE1Ge7ZjVF 維尼
2)面向作者的分享式心得(含劇透)8964 copyright protection519PENANA4Fhyi0Dp0b 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAq5yfD5jS1O
8964 copyright protection519PENANABynyr3bsAS 維尼
在這裏,我會著重於三點來分享,分別是故事賣點、作品節奏及戰鬥。8964 copyright protection519PENANAqLqsfYWL51 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAtWk3orwEwM
8964 copyright protection519PENANAMrJZSdeuQW 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAR3ubuNoHh2
8964 copyright protection519PENANARIQPnzYmSX 維尼
一、故事賣點8964 copyright protection519PENANAVGcnxJe6e9 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANA4soA3ByUzE
8964 copyright protection519PENANASaTcClXwwg 維尼
閲讀了十二章,總結來説故事的買點有三個,分別是「這個異世界真的是異世界?」,「有趣的獸人世界」和「精彩的戰鬥」。8964 copyright protection519PENANAx9O5WTlB4S 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAnO6kbJ6L1R
8964 copyright protection519PENANAenI9srvXah 維尼
這裏我會集中於「有趣的獸人世界」這個賣點,其餘兩個會分別在作品節奏及戰鬥裏提及。8964 copyright protection519PENANAcNkjGesHL2 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAXtVLjo30sJ
8964 copyright protection519PENANA2qiWq1jQcP 維尼
首先一提起獸人,相信很多人就會開始幻想可愛的貓娘或小熊正太、性感的狐女、霸氣的獅男之類。8964 copyright protection519PENANAgjtGptysGX 維尼
然而我注意到的是,作者幾乎統一稱之爲獸人,沒分什麽貓、獅子或熊之類的,就變得較難去具體想像獸人角色們的外貌。8964 copyright protection519PENANAw2tpaD66KX 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAPxah4vjPGw
8964 copyright protection519PENANAh5MHqgLiuw 維尼
角色外貌模糊,有趣的程度也會減少。8964 copyright protection519PENANAPihC0mhmAK 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAtFPspDUTKH
8964 copyright protection519PENANABdoPh98N7M 維尼
當然,也許作者就是不願跟隨主流,像「這個異世界真的是異世界?」那樣,作品設定為「這些獸人真的是我們熟悉的獸人?」。8964 copyright protection519PENANAZoKTnlfAXz 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAcBgJoB6Bue
8964 copyright protection519PENANAh326E6lEVI 維尼
如果是真的,那就有點可惜。8964 copyright protection519PENANAJ3bS2F9bUT 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANABH0HS1sYoa
8964 copyright protection519PENANAof8Pxld7rz 維尼
總歸一句,單單「獸人」兩個字,形象不夠具體。而解決方法除了使用插圖,就是「聯想」,讓讀者聯想角色跟哪一種動物有關。8964 copyright protection519PENANAGEGVVHi91k 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAZpAi2eCxj3
8964 copyright protection519PENANAnfscGavFIy 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAcRja5pBYZ0
8964 copyright protection519PENANAnNY6i70mtC 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAL5nVxITMdZ
8964 copyright protection519PENANAwOFB9jLR4E 維尼
二、故事節奏8964 copyright protection519PENANA3EF16e4rA4 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAzRTOzVLS6s
8964 copyright protection519PENANAY7BbLypJcN 維尼
上面提到的兩個賣點,「有趣的獸人世界」和「精彩的戰鬥」分別發生在第6話和第12話。8964 copyright protection519PENANAvcwISEbVGW 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANADmcSXdnSQy
8964 copyright protection519PENANAHc7WIuzq3G 維尼
接下來,讓我們看看一些數據。8964 copyright protection519PENANARVVt7blQRI 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAjOaqNWYi98
8964 copyright protection519PENANATy9xOu1QhV 維尼
1到3話:8964 copyright protection519PENANAGWUNjoZO2g 維尼
8964 copyright protection519PENANAqyqkP22TLU 維尼
10到12話:8964 copyright protection519PENANAAIXtiUsjas 維尼
8964 copyright protection519PENANANhU32RW0If 維尼
8964 copyright protection519PENANAwJ9KwYOPNj 維尼
數據已經明確表明,很多讀者撐不到第12話的第一次戰鬥。8964 copyright protection519PENANAVpjc141EnP 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAyGxb5FzkM7
8964 copyright protection519PENANAF6qfsFwYTd 維尼
如果作者覺得無所謂,那我無話可説,請跳過接下來幾段話。8964 copyright protection519PENANAZ1B66NGJmU 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANA6dH5UNIN38
8964 copyright protection519PENANAJRWgubRhth 維尼
既然選擇不跳過,那我就説實話,在這裏提議加快故事節奏。8964 copyright protection519PENANAHg31hAIQf2 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANA5GozErmnw6
8964 copyright protection519PENANAbpnxSncqDq 維尼
前面3話,似乎都在鋪陳 「這個異世界真的是異世界?」的伏筆。作者固然認爲重要,其實我也認爲很重要,但問題是……8964 copyright protection519PENANAZVPJU5Nlrt 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANA7X0vTstyFX
8964 copyright protection519PENANAY02SUznbDV 維尼
大部分讀者都不會這麽想。8964 copyright protection519PENANACenTbgR3vY 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAQyD2sjOPVO
8964 copyright protection519PENANAz3eKYvtpTK 維尼
如果根據黃金三章的準則,我會建議前面3話就要讓主角進入異世界?,愛歐塔登場,發生第一次戰鬥,然後癸登場並使出「登樓月」。8964 copyright protection519PENANAOdrPzxGU8B 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAYgl9UNrYb7
8964 copyright protection519PENANAo2nnyD56uc 維尼
前面3話,也就是約6000字以内就要做到上述這些。8964 copyright protection519PENANARzMqyfrgse 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAR4QeaupYDG
8964 copyright protection519PENANAId4DkkfXAd 維尼
當然,説是容易……8964 copyright protection519PENANA28I4JjAWAc 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAXCL5TXTTsm
8964 copyright protection519PENANAQCDW1Tmuf6 維尼
這裏,我會嘗試建議如何做得到。8964 copyright protection519PENANAK3JZc54HYv 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAxTFZ7ZEyvP
8964 copyright protection519PENANAlARjljxAZo 維尼
首先,因爲不知道現實世界的世界觀,前面3話常睦民發生車禍,入院後癱瘓等劇情,我無法給出任何建議。8964 copyright protection519PENANAWhIVfzdggC 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAUmPo88ONvy
8964 copyright protection519PENANABrSira8jBg 維尼
之後的適應新身體劇情,個人覺得可以借由第一次戰鬥的發生,通過瞬間的回想呈現出來,例如:8964 copyright protection519PENANAAXhui4M3k4 維尼
8964 copyright protection519PENANAl5cRAXyHDa 維尼
上面段落的第一句,就是劇情回想了。8964 copyright protection519PENANAWEER7Kq7GL 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAF2fofFTDSM
8964 copyright protection519PENANAUuhH6RwCz1 維尼
適應新身體的詳細劇情,可以等到主角在獸人村莊安頓后,晚上臨睡前才回想,但也別太拖,大約一章的篇幅。8964 copyright protection519PENANA7dNvnTtnHL 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAR8DPUxwV8D
8964 copyright protection519PENANAVLx62fsosy 維尼
至於女主癸……是女主沒錯吧?畢竟封面就是她……8964 copyright protection519PENANAjz8M2oqAtG 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAqrfjpu7fAG
8964 copyright protection519PENANAQa1Kfhpjvi 維尼
癸的戰鬥部份,也最好提早至主角還未抵達獸人村莊,或一抵達就發生。8964 copyright protection519PENANAfjYtDrqPsx 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANADhX2RoP2i0
8964 copyright protection519PENANAqNgyMDVRyQ 維尼
大致上只能做出這些建議,總之就是把主要的賣點儘快展現出來。8964 copyright protection519PENANAdBV5MYhIpb 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANApWfzihP8w8
8964 copyright protection519PENANAlpcRiBqfw5 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANA6eamEZbulK
8964 copyright protection519PENANAFQdbk1R46o 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAGsqBaVK08w
8964 copyright protection519PENANAfG9DUh9I8G 維尼
三、戰鬥8964 copyright protection519PENANAjYe1WyfzQV 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAFoNofvytEl
8964 copyright protection519PENANAXWzAUPl04A 維尼
常睦民第一次的戰鬥寫得不錯,但個人覺得若能刪除一些贅句及贅字,更能令戰鬥節奏加快,提升緊張感。8964 copyright protection519PENANAZ3XdUjNaug 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANADAHOxJkP6Q
8964 copyright protection519PENANAmdlFP3ZaWq 維尼
以下是根據我個人的風格,所作出的修改建議:8964 copyright protection519PENANAVlJrt9uQlc 維尼
8964 copyright protection519PENANAZfnAbWkDhg 維尼
當然,以上是根據我個人風格而提出的建議,沒必要全都接納。8964 copyright protection519PENANAnLQc9qV4Gs 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAobfkdlA4K5
8964 copyright protection519PENANAUJalttyu7V 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAFsRRK58UFx
8964 copyright protection519PENANAayRqYNJUrm 維尼
説完了三大要點,原本打算就此結束,畢竟就快趕不上期限,但……8964 copyright protection519PENANAXA35Ry5r68 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAx1yuczzlmd
8964 copyright protection519PENANAxCa75V0nOW 維尼
我在瀏覽最新章節時,發現了一些怪怪的東西:8964 copyright protection519PENANAUnbzyNT29k 維尼
8964 copyright protection519PENANANFEEQf6tB0 維尼
是因爲我跳章而忽略了一些設定嗎?8964 copyright protection519PENANAOT0cx6kh45 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAbkkhMMgvw0
8964 copyright protection519PENANAbuUfOT9QOM 維尼
感覺他們説話的方式很奇怪,而且很不通順,就……逗號出現得有點過於頻密。8964 copyright protection519PENANAsawKj4CSoU 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAJdzTage6mG
8964 copyright protection519PENANAWUdwjdEiU8 維尼
若是我,會刪掉一些逗號:8964 copyright protection519PENANADLuAewucjG 維尼
8964 copyright protection519PENANA96amKGnQEd 維尼
8964 copyright protection519PENANAdKbLjtstCQ 維尼
對了,既然説到對白,就針對這方面説一説好了,首先請看以下這幾段對白:8964 copyright protection519PENANAjCgSZH55Ms 維尼
1)8964 copyright protection519PENANAThYMYCTAHR 維尼
8964 copyright protection519PENANAILybniO7dJ 維尼
2)8964 copyright protection519PENANAp4ocsxuNoB 維尼
8964 copyright protection519PENANAjectip7va3 維尼
3)8964 copyright protection519PENANA1L2lrULnYu 維尼
8964 copyright protection519PENANAF12xWsAlw9 維尼
4)8964 copyright protection519PENANAArjtfD77fY 維尼
8964 copyright protection519PENANA8qc82jUGEM 維尼
有沒有發現,這四段對白都很長?8964 copyright protection519PENANAo4IYEcVHvp 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAn4Qrx6EfSV
8964 copyright protection519PENANAO8PX1cCTtl 維尼
閲讀那些對白時,給我的感覺不是那位角色在説話,而是作者在灌輸資訊給讀者,並且是以非常生硬的方式。8964 copyright protection519PENANA6fIUJUyj4L 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAAzo38tZW5W
8964 copyright protection519PENANAttuVv9zjj5 維尼
換句話説,對白不自然。8964 copyright protection519PENANAifDum1Ot5W 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAopcJgqteyl
8964 copyright protection519PENANA8CoAdD8E4r 維尼
拿第一個例子來説,醫生説了常睦民的病症名時,最好插一段媽媽詢問何時才會痊愈,然後醫生才回答「可能一小時後就會沒事……(省略)……觀察後再下定論。」。8964 copyright protection519PENANAeq96bFSqHh 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANA3QM0GN80Za
8964 copyright protection519PENANAITYBiF0c4d 維尼
至於第二個例子,當常睦民問了「神諭?」後,我會讓騰芳唸出「天異變……(省略)……將赤身降世。」。之後才通過角色之間的一問一答,把騰芳那一段資訊自然地讓讀者知道。8964 copyright protection519PENANAhWmxEgIq4Z 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANA6wi8AuXE3w
8964 copyright protection519PENANAN3mQEMLyRb 維尼
第三個例子也是來自騰芳,依舊建議切碎資訊,自然地呈現出來。8964 copyright protection519PENANAZHQpxZU9I8 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANA7TCFBab9cK
8964 copyright protection519PENANALZf8RbSwQ3 維尼
第四個例子,我覺得可以安排西賓將粉末撒在黃球附近後,才解釋說要把米糠佈滿餌食的周圍。8964 copyright protection519PENANAN9VLhSQC9r 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANARLkQAUCG9q
8964 copyright protection519PENANAkHoKcEA6Rc 維尼
其實我有想過另一個可能性,那就是上面説話的角色都是NPC,才會出現這種把資訊灌輸給常睦民的不自然現象。8964 copyright protection519PENANABJFBm7MAE5 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAeX5Oc1MQDh
8964 copyright protection519PENANA1KL2m8hsb4 維尼
如果真的是NPC,那最好多點跡象表明他們真的只是NPC,以避免勸退讀者。8964 copyright protection519PENANA1V2huWCejY 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAkFSfy06AKg
8964 copyright protection519PENANALKlzXpUbzj 維尼
想説的就這些。8964 copyright protection519PENANAgueY1FU6rG 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANANLRu58RuAX
8964 copyright protection519PENANAP0vOw4l3zM 維尼
總的來説,《在異世界?的那些事》是一部表面跟隨主流,但其實作者另有盤算(?)的作品。如果大家看膩了一般的異世界作品,那麽歡迎過來閲讀《在異世界?的那些事》,而我本身也會繼續閲讀下去。8964 copyright protection519PENANAOY4Xx8Cyv1 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAULbtWDsPYe
8964 copyright protection519PENANAnKdGEkokOG 維尼
連結:https://www.penana.com/article/7889898964 copyright protection519PENANAtgDiClEC3G 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAwY6b42LAww
8964 copyright protection519PENANAmIzTjNuq9f 維尼
就寫到這裏,感謝大家的閲讀,緬因吉加油!8964 copyright protection519PENANA7sIH2lt4Or 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAIt1ET0WWD9
8964 copyright protection519PENANAis9ZlsSdTd 維尼
再次重申,以上是根據我個人風格而提出的建議,沒必要全都接納。8964 copyright protection519PENANAMvETY3v3jJ 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANA2pQCD7jYxj
8964 copyright protection519PENANAgMQ60FW3eI 維尼
創作並非考試,沒有絕對一百巴仙正確的答案,也沒有什麽「故事應該這樣寫」,更沒有什麽「寫小説教學的内容,神聖不可侵犯」。8964 copyright protection519PENANAYNmyWpbaEr 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAcR7p9iehgv
8964 copyright protection519PENANAOgsx1RyVX1 維尼
創作,不該被「單一化」。8964 copyright protection519PENANAm9TTMnuAsV 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANA6c6X0iS4nc
8964 copyright protection519PENANAlL0TWbFUoT 維尼
創作,應該是自由的。8964 copyright protection519PENANAGWyW7ddchY 維尼
523Please respect copyright.PENANAth3PeoCKwJ
8964 copyright protection519PENANAHB1ZhD4ZMK 維尼
172.70.127.142
ns 172.70.127.142da2