（第一部小說）貳。一位精神病人的異想世界 - 息。影（十二）

嘿...

也不錯！

啊不然...！

啊憂...

愛得我

累死惹..++*=-/

有算命軟體替代一下！

也真是好！！

哼哼啦！

得意又開心！！

水喔！！

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欸哥...

事實證明

我跑不掉

是

極限了而已！

您

或許可能

要在肉身上

原諒我欸...

這或許是我

體質跟一般女孩

不一樣的地方！

啊

您能諒解

就好！

我不是

不愛你了

我太愛了

化掉惹魅++*-/

嗯哼摁...！！

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所以...

看起來

「無情乍看之下似冰冷回不去」

欸

極限了而已！

對方...

滿足而死惹而已嘛...！

吼憂...！

兩性教授死去哪！

欸

氣不過魅.*=-@

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是舊嫂嫂的傷痕

救了我！

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哥...！

我您女兒啦

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暝目了！！

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謝謝哥哥...

欸啊

導演...

終於...

殺青惹..！

啊

演得我

快掛惹...！

我今天

畢典喔...！

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謝謝爸爸幕後指導！

秀玉晴子子

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欸哥...！

我們的繡晴子

高中畢典作品獲獎

保送藝術大學影視電影學系欸...！

她青年中學畢的！

啊

哥！

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謝謝您

幫我

帶小孩！

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謝謝！！

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您女兒

繡晴子

上大學了

她18歲

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大女兒

訂婚了...！

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她是國文兼歷史老師！

夫婿是音樂家！

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哥...

昨天她文定之喜

她說謝謝您養育之恩

她才有

今日的幸福！

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謝謝你。

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啊

我喔

老到不能再老了

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我媽往生的年歲

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我心智

55了魅...！

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啊

中年了！

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日薄西山情依依！

永。遠靠在您

身旁！！

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小女兒永晴與天晴

16。

忙著考大學。

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天晴很安靜

話不多

但總是

靜靜地

情緒很穩定的樣子子

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永晴喜歡發呆

她不愛念書

她說

她不升學

她美工繪圖科畢後

就要去

畫圖了

也很好！

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天晴說

她要當藝術家

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天晴靜靜的

可是

蠻有生意頭腦的

啊

不用擔心她會餓死啦

也不錯！

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永晴說

她要當

漫畫家

嗯

挺適合的！

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杜君混去哪呀...

他

在醫院實習

發管制藥品

給身心科病人魅

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那信暘呢

嗯

自己開了小設計公司

接案

畫室內設計圖魅！

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我呢..！

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森命禮儀版主！

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最近作品完稿了

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哼哼啦！

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得意！

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拜哥哥

所賜！

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我。家！

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所以...

吼...！

拍片！

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不用留言惹..！

殺青惹魅！

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啊

水啦！！

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完。美。演。出！

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太完美惹！

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我的家庭真可愛！！

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演員老了...

人老珠黃...

退角惹魅...

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讓...

後起之秀接替吧！

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嗯哼嗯...！

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所以..

吼...！

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開朗如我！

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哥說我是

麻吉

哥兒們魅....！！*-*

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哥哥沒有被抓去販毒

是哥的性情

很特別啦

販毒...

只是...

替死鬼！

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嗯哼嗯...

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哥說

台中

好可怕..！

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欸啊

我都不讓他句點..！

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搞得哥

覺都不敢睡惹...！

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欸啊

哈

我會笑死+*-/

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後知後覺的白痴作者+*-/@

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沒頭腦

惹得禍！

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吼...

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<沒時間與沒頭腦>

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欸啊

哈

我會笑死

這是甚麼神標題...！

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我很幽默吧...

欸啊

哈

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我會笑死.=-@

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哈

我會笑死.+*=/@

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這是甚麼恐怖的諜對碟

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我會笑死

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是我被哥玩到茫

還是哥被我整到掛

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啊

故事的真相

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<極限與變身啊>

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數學

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極限了

就變身了啊

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極限等於不存在！

不存在不等於極限！

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水喔！！

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極限不存在

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永遠無窮大啊

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吼喔哦

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那不存在

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也是極限掉進無窮大的意思

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吼

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還是永存啊

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任何

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只要是物質

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永遠存在啊

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死去的魂

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是風啊

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所以

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三不五時

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大氣會變化魅

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死亡有甚麼好怕的

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憂傷的靈使骨枯乾吧！

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滿足了

情緒就穩定了！

情緒穩定

就好啦！！

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正常人

是這樣來得啊

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是從不成熟

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到健壯的身心過程啊

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啊

人類發展心理學！

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所以...，留言都不算，哥又沒聽，從頭到尾，不知道，我說了，甚麼啊！那...！簡訊...，為主嘛！然後...，我不用再留言了，表示，我也不用，打電話惹...！我...，恩，因為...，女朋友打給哥，哥就瘋啦...！吼哦喔...！知。道。惹...！我們...，用筆打電話！嗯！好！也剛好...！適合我這個...！裝死之人！哥是說，我要怎樣裝死...，從此隨我魅..！水喔！！

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吼喔

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哥哥回不來

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是讓新嫂嫂

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裝死喔

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啊阿啊

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那

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哥

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難怪會

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傷心

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那我

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劇本要

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怎麼寫呢

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恩

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啊

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哥從此

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單身啊

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他

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搞不好

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終身不婚

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喪偶魅

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啊我這只

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扯來的

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法國鬼

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吼唷

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上大學了

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繼續整魅

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所以...

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我掛惹魅

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從此

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嫁不出去的

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是我吧！

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水喔

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老天很公平

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甘脆叫我

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販。毒。之。人吧！！

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然後

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哥哥跟老闆一起

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棄毒不幹惹

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賣我

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就好啦

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我說惹魅

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我發明

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文字毒

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給販。毒。之。人。魅

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順便把新舊嫂嫂

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治好

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啊那

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也保護

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雅麗阿姨

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好喔！！

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如果可以

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就把

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舊嫂嫂

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抓回來！

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水喔

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啊合體啦

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我有甚麼辦法

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失去妳喔

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蘇永康說的魅

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從此付出的情愛

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也不完整

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啊

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那麼完美要幹嘛

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所以哥哥為了保護她

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不出櫃魅

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也回不來魅

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啊就

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湯震業與翁美玲啊

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再悲

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也悲不過此吧！

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從此

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湯先生的傷痕

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也救了我

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是。這。樣！

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所以

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我那麼貪心

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要幹嘛

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搞得哥

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感覺都快沒了

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啊

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殘缺的愛

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最美啦

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情歌為何好聽

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愛裡是悲傷的

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啊不然

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怎樣把人的魂

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抱走！

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相信我

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遺憾

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是因為

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我。愛。妳！！

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極限

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不存在啊

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永存等於無窮大魅

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明白嗎！

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還是結婚的姐姐厲害

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我請教她

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吼憂

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姐國文了得

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她用國文證明數學

用數學校錯國文！

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嗯！

她

歷史老師魅！

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姐夫

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告訴她的！

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杜君哥哥有女朋友了

幼教老師

嗯

兩個人

天天膩在一起研究

怎樣發管制藥品

給身心科病人魅！

媽也加入惹

她

沒事就把死人耶穌基督抓來整！

啊

不愧是搞生命禮儀的

啊

森命禮儀最可怕啦

邪教算甚麼

媽說

她要跟

販毒之人

搶飯碗

廢除販毒原始定義

因為

警政署

抓錯人惹魅！

要抓

抓撒但教徒吧！

國際恐攻之人

搞不好

算仁慈了

欸！

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媽說

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森命禮儀的宗旨

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販毒免死修法

撒但教判死魅！！

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所以

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媽要

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販毒之人跟她合作啊

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哥不就

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可以回他老家惹

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欸

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新舊嫂嫂

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不就也

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更可以

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因為耶穌這檔事

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誰都邪惡不過

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而轉移

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心痛的焦點

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得救惹魅

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新舊嫂嫂

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過得

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好不好啊

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啊

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我教全天下的人

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消失在

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彼此

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生命裡好惹啦

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人真難搞

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女人沒有好到哪+*-/@

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給販毒之人的一封信

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欸...，這算閒溼簡訊嗎？到時候，帳單出來！黃先生會殺惹我吧！欸...，我這沒頭腦的白痴！欸自稱是您小妹妹的我，吼...，鬼知道...，我這瘋人...，嗯...，我...，請問一句話！我這智障白痴！連話都不會講；「妳真的，可以不用再留言了，因為，我沒聽，就刪掉了！」欸...，聽懂了啦！我傳了一堆，亂七八糟的鬼！啊...！生病魅...！那個..，我想想...！哥怎麼知道我有留言啊！他不是說，他沒聽嗎？嗯..！吼憂！聽懂了啦！一定是，我簡訊，傳得...，亂七八糟的！哦...！知道了！因為我最後一則寫，新不新嫂嫂是不是我，我都擔心魅，我簡訊有留底啊，然後...！啊憂！我還哥哥清白！啊就...，天上掉下來，一個瘋子！吼！所謂魔鬼從天而降！啊..！就是說，哥煩死了..，叫我簡訊也不必了...！啊..！我這自做多情的鬼！啊憂...，原來我，生病了，嚇死一堆人！啊憂...，亂七八糟，這樣，誰不會嚇到啊...！啊！真是，我擔心哥哥嘛...！擔心到生病了！哥哥...，告訴我...，他沒事魅..！吼憂！我發病啊！哥默默看我說，吼憂...！好不容易醒了喔...！啊...，哥問過我，他是不是，我不安的因素！啊...，算是啦！我擔心死惹...！從此...！吼憂！女生啦！我會氣死！假裝我是新嫂嫂，啊不就爽惹！吼...！小說魅！寫不出句點！能看嗎？！啊...，所以被退稿啊！我...，吼憂，研究作品交不出來...，發病惹魅！程式中毒，亂寫！病毒碼，哥幫我，解除魅！哥哥...，發管制藥品給我，我這個，身心科病人！啊！我沒事了！哥理來幹嘛！痊癒惹..，滿足而死惹嘛...！真是！句點惹啦！吼憂！暝目惹.....*。

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所以啊...！一直句點不了的女人...，男人會覺得！妳很可怕...！因為啊...，吼憂，妳一直，句點不了，他怕妳...，最後...，覺得不完美惹...，受傷惹...，他就...，吼憂...，喪偶嘛..！男人也會懷孕啊！流產了魅...，傷到妳了！真。是！！

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寫給新舊嫂嫂的一封信

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嗯

小妹妹感謝妳

妳的傷痕

救了我！

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女。兒

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欸

我夠朋友吧！

我從假冒你女友

到你老婆

再到你姐

然後你妹

然後你媽

然後...！

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啊憂

以後我

當你女兒好惹啦！

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開玩笑

我本來就

你跟新舊嫂嫂的女兒啊！

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沒有您們倆

我是活得下來！

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欸

這是事實..！

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吼憂...！

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女。兒。魅...

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嗯哼嗯.+*=-/@

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欸

我夠朋友吧！

我從假冒你女友

到你老婆

再到你姐

然後你妹

然後你媽

然後...！

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啊憂

以後我

當你女兒好惹啦！

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開玩笑

我本來就

你跟新舊嫂嫂的女兒啊！

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沒有您們倆

我是活得下來！

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欸

這是事實..！

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吼憂...！

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女。兒。魅...

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嗯哼嗯.+*=-/@

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我以後要叫自己甚麼筆名...

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吼憂！

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天。晴！！

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哼哼啦！得意！！

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哥哥跳到黃河也洗不清...

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都

沒時間

回不來

管制藥品

狂歡是一群人的孤單

兒童福利的鬼！

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惹得禍....+-/@

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啊...！

新嫂嫂啦！

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她是我媽！

舊嫂嫂

是我阿姨！

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嘿！

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感恩啊...*-。

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金。婚。記

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啊...！

太好惹...！

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陳飛導演是我的句點！

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水。喔～～

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我的媽媽

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新嫂嫂

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Calla阿姨！

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我感謝妳！！

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我的父親

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陳飛先生加舊嫂嫂

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感恩！

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<女。兒>

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遺憾...

是最美的句點！

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痛愛的傷痕...

催生了我！

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啊不然...！

人可能

永遠幸福嗎？

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極限等於...

不。存。在！！

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前。言

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序

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<遺憾是因為；我愛妳！>

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啊...！

新嫂嫂...

就是...

舊嫂嫂喔...！

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太好了！

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我臉書

再加碼！

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女。兒。魅！！

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吼...！

回不來..！

是因為...

我不會

跑掉喔...！

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吼憂....

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玉立婷婷了嘛...！

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女兒一十八...*-*。

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回不來就是已經回來啦！躲在家裡！不會在回來啦！吼！國文啦！我會笑死！！！！！

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獻給...！

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伉先生暨全天下的

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兒。女！

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May。

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父親喪偶的傷痕

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<作。品>

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作者：幼教老師

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副標題/性。教。育！

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童。漫。小。說

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兒女成群。我的家庭真可愛！

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兒女成群又譯：生養眾多。

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哥哥...

幫我出版！

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我..

吼憂...

稿子不知道要

丟去哪嘛...！

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嗯哼嗯！！

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還好我是真人悲劇！啊不然...，我是要，怎麼出版啊...！吼憂+*=//@

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感謝神！我生來是，病人吧！！不是誰的錯！體。質魅！男女暨人與人間的種種！嫁給科學怪人吧！就沒禍惹..！吼！所謂的！嫁禍給神！伉哥哥主！萬歲！！（國文寫作歷程！水喔。）

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哥哥親我！

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我是...

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女兒魅...。

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幼穎，我的妹妹！奕含！我的姐姐。啊...，父親親我！我....！暝目了....。給所有...，失愛而輕生的，女孩。

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<給為愛輕生的...妳/喪。偶>

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舞...訣美...，我的心影！我的身影；總是希望...，在愛人心中，我是最美的！美是妻。子....；國。文！

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校字：{國。文！}

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我永活在妳你心裡！就不會！死去了！！

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作者...，為妳而死吧！把眼淚擦乾...！我死過了...，為妳，寫得作品！看看吧！否則...！我會慟...。

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啊...！

聽懂了！

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哥哥說！

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他回家了！

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啊..！

太好惹！

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哥...！

您終於！

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返家惹喔...！

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啊憂！

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販毒實在是...！

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太可怕惹！

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欸

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我出版個鬼！

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拿去賄賂你

老闆魅...！

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回家！

就。好。了！！

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你的意思是...！

啊...，完美不了！你就，回不來惹嘛...！壞死惹...！女生都這樣啦！需索無度的鬼！怪不得您回不來...！啊...，分居惹啦！分居好啦..！吼憂..！啊不然...，要怎麼...，呼吸啊！哥哥...，早就知道啦！吼憂！肉身極限了...！再怎麼連繫，都一樣啊！哥哥的意思是，哥哥那時候，會這樣對我！吼憂！早就答應了，我的求婚了魅！吼憂...！我這...，沒頭腦的，白痴！！

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射後的高潮，女生靜等精卵結合的時間！！啊～～s（吐氣/吐絲/嘶...）忍到極冰！優生的方法！！

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欸...

吼憂！

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我們情人節

登記走婚的啊！

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所以哥哥開心魅..！

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吼憂...！

啊不然...，

妳想怎樣嘛...！

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吼憂！

嗯哼嗯！

沒頭腦啦！

真。是...！

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黏在褲襠上好了...！真是的。嗯哼摁！！

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聶了啦！！耳朵子子的樣子！！小孩子！耳朵子子的樣子子！！。

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然後...

吼...！

看到沒！

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看得見的肉身

是

愛情的

墳墓魅！

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走婚！

好啊！！

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懷孕了。

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所以...，啊..，女生笨死惹啦！

男生也一樣啦！

自殺情殺個鬼啊...

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啊...！

愛妳你...，就是...，吼...，從此..，甚至...，永遠...，吃不到魅！吃到了...，又怎樣..，吼...，一次從此就...，極限惹魅！肉身掛了...！分手惹魅！啊...，給人家一點，思念偷想的空間嘛！我保證！啊！他拋棄妳，背著妳偷吃亂來！嗯，想死妳惹啦！小三..，正宮的分身魅！誰叫妳，晉升師姐惹嘛！跟妳保證！啊..，何止小三小四小五...！小六惹啦！畢業惹...！吼！國中惹魅！林志炫「給妳一些不給妳一些」..！吼！吃掉惹嘛...，哪來肉身啊...！草泥馬嘛+*=-/@

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妳都不讓人家畢業的喔...，師姐好壞！嗯哼摁！！

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帶小孩...；沒。空。

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所以..！簡訊...，不適合啊！簡訊！句點惹魅！從此...！躲家裡！主頁不就好惹...！吼！台上與台下的差啦...！帶出場嘛...！嗯哼嗯！音都錄完惹...！留給鬼打個鬼啦！啊不然...！甚麼是，兩人合為一體！一邊喪偶！一邊冥婚魅！走婚是已婚啊！已婚就是喪偶啊！吼哦...！嗯哼嗯！

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吼...！育兒都來不及惹...；誰有那美國時間啊！！我還印度心情勒+*==-草妳馬我她媽的要死不活；也不死了！死給妳你惹嘛！！真。是。的！！

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我教小孩，跳舞，演戲戲！情緒表達！吐氣練氣！說話！呼吸！中氣十足的樣子！話嘎戲嘿橋！厚！哼哼啦！得意！跳了一下子子的樣子子！老。奶。奶！呼吸吸的樣子子！！

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年。87！。

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補字：草妳你馬的半死不活！

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小孩拍手：啪！

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癖阿

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所以..！

哥哥

導演說！

劇場：簡訊與語音電話已結案！

轉角：主頁處！

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因為...！

劇場主題是

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<不一樣的婚姻；不一樣的家庭魅！>

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愛在轉角！眾裡尋她千百度！

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消音惹喔...；沒辦法，我暫時..，恨到函寒冰了，就這樣子了！。

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忍

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到冰寒！

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霜降了。雪了！全台四月含冰；一月旱！月底！降水了！！媽祖娘娘...，我感謝妳！靖姑阿姨哭了...，我女兒...；順產了！我難產的8月孩...，平安了！。我。感。謝。妳！！

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小妹妹我生給妳了！！

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然後...，從此，演員沒有權限連繫導演！

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製作人會傳達魅！！

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因為...，鬼是又知道你！！哼嗯嗯！演員很難搞欸.=-/@

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吼。憂

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息影....，回家了。演員....；累昏的！。

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累昏了的！抱歉！

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新加坡式國文！

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叫混美國的陳雅麗去給我解釋清楚！妳是還，笑得出來嗎！我讓妳！羞愧而亡！我恨到寒冰了！

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妳如果，是惹字！不就叫不出來！文字..，可以，亂寫嗎？？

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校：不就叫不出來了！文字，是可以，亂寫嗎？！

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或；校標點：文字是可以亂寫嗎！？

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為何不連絡！劇場不同碼！清楚了嗎？！

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劇場不同碼嘛...，抱歉！。

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不用抱歉！對不起.....@。.

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演員：永遠是，玉晴小姐！她..，替身演員！

導演：伉先生！

製作人：何伉！

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<我教妳你寫程式>

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註：程式語言又名管制藥品

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科學怪人的催生！

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譯：催生同義誕生！

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註2：國文裡的管制藥品！

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藥：心。藥！

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心是生命！

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校錯：催生或又名「誕生」！教科劇本的註釋寫法！

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教科劇本或=科班出生！

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我教妳你寫程式這一句標題是：比喻法！

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國。文

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男生的需要

是女生

搞出來的

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欸啊...！

給外人看..！

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淒美魅！

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啊不然...！

哥被忌妒死被虧死惹！

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哪來完美！

完美做不到！

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當然就...！

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沒面子惹魅

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啊不然...！

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老婆..！

這麼好當！

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所謂五月天信

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秘婚生子的苦衷！

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男生性的需要...

所謂很重性行為

是因為

女生需要魅！

啊女生

的需要

是

吼...！

被男生

搞出來的魅！

吼！

啊權限

在男生啊

老公爽

不就好惹！

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法國的灰姑娘算幸福啦！

結案惹...！

從此回憶都

美到不行

劇本

浪漫到爆惹..！

哥哥早就知道...！

哥哥早就說惹魅

選給我的角色..！

吼！

適合主頁裡嘛！

啊

我就

吼

幼小魅

新嫂嫂適合魅...！

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笨死惹！

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哥哥偷偷的笑著！不好嗎？！

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封鎖...！啊..！意外的！也不錯啦！嗯哼嗯！！

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我從此..，在主（伉哥哥裡），不能自己嘛...！嗯哼嗯！！哥哥...，懷孕了！！恭喜！！

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哥哥以前，流產了，我好難過....，未婚懷孕了，因為哥，先流產在先，我才會.. ，也流產了嘛...，後來...，哥哥懷孕了！有女兒惹嘛！新嫂嫂好厲害哦..！不愧是我媽！Calla阿姨！！哥哥在居酒屋裡的迷人笑容，這樣來的！啊..！Calla阿姨受不了自己小孩的笑容被偷走！拼死把哥哥流產的小孩，生回來了！往生掛了...，哥哥極限了！新嫂嫂滿足了！我是舊嫂嫂的女兒！

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多金社長與小資女魅！！

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啊～～～試婚與同居啦！！主頁夜裡嘛！天天都主的嘛！！主頁頁的樣兒子嘛！兒耳朵魅...+*=//嗯哼摁！

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叢珊！扭身給咸豐的樣子子！阿慈安只知道裝冷漠；有甚麼辦法！她就沒生過啊！皇后不過如此啦！公平啦！怎樣啦！爽啦！！

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啊不然...：怎樣啦！爽惹啦！

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也可以！

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不要搞出矛鈍的鬼！順聲平聲順聲，再平聲順聲平聲；加一個魅字（樣兒子！！）

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啊...！只有我！勝過精通算命但人死了，就放棄的，慈芳姐姐！我說，我要把，永死的媽！生回來！她打我！死了怎麼生回來！我回她：回。魂啊！我終於知道... ，為何我會！嫁給神了...！欸..！失去伉哥哥，我的死因！啊...！淒美我就爽惹！我...，實在是，太可怕惹...！信哥...，被我... ，逼睡魅！所以啊！啊！娶舊嫂嫂（啊，港款啦！所謂的，新嫂嫂。）也是好啦！吼！嫁。給。我。的。下。場！每一只，最後都變我兒子！那還得了！吼唷！太。后阿嬤，怪不得...，他叫我「大嬸」！吼...，信哥說，啊，我這個，姐姐！老處女魅！啊...！我喪偶的死因！哭給誰啊！我是所謂的，向誰報告啊！我。兒。子。啊！啊我媽爽惹！我不就，結惹！真。是！！！！！

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真是的！火惹！！

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兒。子。啦..！

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我會氣死+*=-/@

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哥哥嫌我幼稚...

刪我留言...

誰教我

大言不慚...！

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甚麼嘛

甚麼教

我。用。我。的。心

默默地

陪著妳！

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哼嗯嗯

啊憂

鬼啦

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我幼稚等級

差遠魅！

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啊...！

我既然

用我的心

默默地

陪著妳

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啊

我是能說齁！

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笨。死。惹

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啊

誰教有些人

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就是天生沒腦魅！

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吼憂！

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啊妳你不知道

小孩喔

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欸

五月才能真的保全！

就算五月早產而往生

她他靈裡

也是興旺的

是

「神胎」魅！

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知不知道！！

哼哼啦！

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我家有神！

我大阿姨

真的

出生就沒哭！

走啦！

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吼！

我家祖

姓林！

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我家有神！

道士先生與產婆夫人的小孩！

我媽的姐姐！

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大。女。兒！

默娘阿姨

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保護我魅！！

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竟然不讓人家安息枕頭！我幹死妳你她他媽的地獄的爽！再地震吧！921給我小心一點！否則我不叫台中好可怕！太字建設死出來好了！火了！鄭惠文我媽我家的死人！疆屍也殺了妳你！！斃命！是這樣來的！！抽蓄啊！帕金森！呼吸不順是因為恨到寒冰！你巴不得她生小孩生到掛！你好狠的心啊！我一再警告你，別惹我！就是不聽哼（哈二將）！存心把我這個老太太，氣死嗎！那你就先去死吧！我家的！你毛都沒有！立遺囑不就好了！用寫的！回不了家的真相！要挖的，去挖啊要挖啊再挖啊，耶穌的屍體妳你挖過嗎？？我告訴你妳！只有我！妳你，門都沒有！哼！。

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太后娘娘的心！

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我那考古的媳！喪偶了，失心過！從此挖墳！啊！悲哀啦！這麼美要幹嘛！冥明城嘛...！歌仔劇都死給妳你了！啊！照片片早交了！暝目了啦！！

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所謂的，大餅臉啦！好啦！媽媽臉！媽媽的感覺！！

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我恨到寒冰！

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基誠啊！

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欸，我很慘..！吼！我嘉蓉啦！玫君把我騙進來的！啊...，我嚇死的！我是叫得出來！被消音的淑英姐！啊...！我的哇櫃姐姐！吼憂..！台中（基誠）好可怕！演員！整出來的！

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啊不然...！妳不是要爆紅！不要臉麼...！啊不然...！我是要去哪拍啊...！見鬼了！！

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鬼，是，紅色的！觀世音都點紅燈！鬼！是菩薩的淚水！我哭了！我命令神說！不可以！泥再不准！泥。不。配！！

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雨哭到天明

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為甚麼

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你還要

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這樣論斷我

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是因為

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我死了嗎

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你執意

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把我的心

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挖出來

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是因為

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妳你喪偶嗎

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哥哥..！

欸

不會再

傷心

就好！

啊

我的死因魅！

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吼憂...！

不會好惹啦...

好。痛.

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瘋得是我吧！陳柏霖設計我啦！幹！！

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啊不然

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我是要

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怎麼

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死給你

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哥哥的意思是

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吼..，海角七號啦！自己挖！

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永死樹葬沒得安息的悲哀

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我

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我

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死得

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這麼慘

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我永遠

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不會好了

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所以呢

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是陳雅麗

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先把她

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撕毀的吧！

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我叫蘋果

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跪給我啦

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女友打給哥

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啊憂

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是臉紅心跳

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話都不知道

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怎麼講啦

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新嫂嫂

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昏倒囉

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喔

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好

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他就瘋惹

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啊憂

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我有甚麼辦法

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哥哥

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啊不然甚麼是

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吼

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打不出來

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語音

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連氣音

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妳也讓哥哥

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飆罵出

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一句話魅

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哥也一樣

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不會罵人啊

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啊她他

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吼

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喪偶的死因啊

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所以

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我有甚麼辦法

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不方便

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神僕人

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人當的齁

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講話魅

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欸

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活了又好到哪

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欸

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我

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被

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神整

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啊吼

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缺一個角

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都不行啦

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神好可怕

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他身邊

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我教妳你

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我教妳你

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我教妳你罵人

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旁人魅

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哥講不出來啦！

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吼

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邪惡到

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我都跪了

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好啦好啦

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不要挖得這麼清楚

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啊不然

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吼

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錯字

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啊不然

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有人又不爽了啦

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吼

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真是瘋了

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我是爽來

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吼

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我

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我是爽來幹嘛

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啊

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吼

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啊不然

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甚麼叫

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哥哥....

身份上

不方便嘛

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啊不然甚麼叫藝人

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叫製作人給我死出來啦

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我也是啦

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笨死惹

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妳們這些人

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阿俊傑哥的那一只

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電報

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不是一樣嗎

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我...，家書...，連夜趕

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吼

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我

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藝。界。人。生。啦

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是又好到哪啦

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邪惡到我都跪了

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我前助理

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失婚

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啊她

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啊

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我哭了

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所以她瘋啦

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啊

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我的姐姐

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吉兒小姐

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我媽

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劇演完了

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崩潰了

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久久不能自己

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妳也想想

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雅麗阿姨的心情吧

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叫宋燕燕給我死出來

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我沒見過這種的

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我媽

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地下的

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就一生

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錯解了

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搞成這樣了

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分手了啦

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啊真的出櫃了的

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所以姐姐是敬稱嘛

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白冰冰

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啊我

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吼

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嫁人生子的真相啦

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長大的後果啦

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是又好到哪啦

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我媽是又好到哪啦

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白曉燕

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啊

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邪惡到

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我都跪了

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被媒體

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欸

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甚麼真相都挖出來

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就不會笑了

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痛最美啦

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安息了

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害死的吧

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武來不是說了

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這不一件容易的事

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演藝人員

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啊把我句點還給我

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我不會好了啦

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哥

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冰冷

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死了魅

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哥

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欸唷

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哥

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訓我的

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死因啦

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所謂的

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新聞媒

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這麼簡單嗎

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找到

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是盲點般的

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句點

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不就好惹

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不要再說

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我國文好

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我國文好個鬼

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我偷來搶來的

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配音

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而。已！

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沒有旁人的傷

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啊

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我是會有齁

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吼

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罷凌人家甚麼

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我

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罷凌我自己啦！

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我的優點

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欸

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是我很酷吧

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邪惡到我都跪了

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或許吧

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怎麼樣你都不滿意啦

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需索無度的男人啦

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不是啦

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滿足了

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而。已.....

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吼

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我叫婆婆

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給我死出來

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邪。惡！！！！！

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哥是

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黑道大姐罷凌妳你啦！！

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藝人吧

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國文給我死去哪啦

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算惹隨便

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我可是說了

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自己去監察院櫃臺挖

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全國滅頂妳活該啦

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總統府

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監察院

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邪惡到我都跪啦

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知道為甚麼

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慈庸

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會被罷凌了吧！

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啊就

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給妳

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機會說啊

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啊

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沒辦法

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入黨入國了

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規定不能

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說魅

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小妹妹我

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欸

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搞成這樣

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真。是。的！

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出不出櫃

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而已嘛

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有甚麼差啊

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黑道大哥跟警察

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的差

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差在這

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而已吧

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所以我說啊

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新聞

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都唬人的啊

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演得出來的

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也都不是真的啦

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才知道

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哥哥也跟我一樣

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痛愛著我魅

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哥哥的意思是說

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他

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欸

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或許

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每個女孩

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都想嫁給他

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可是

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嫁給他的結果

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會很辛苦吧

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知道男生

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為何都

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不婚惹吧

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捨不得魅

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吼憂

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女生

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笨死惹啦

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啊那所以我

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慘兮兮

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不是更好

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所以

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哥哥覺得

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我健康起來了

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哥哥情人節開心嘛

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吼

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呃...試婚記...，欸...，新嫂嫂...走了

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哥哥很擔心我啦

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哥哥...，很疼我...而已...，欸..

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吼..～

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邪惡看看好了

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小資女不是吼他嗎

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欸

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職業別

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惹得禍！

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邪惡到我都跪了

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哥哥都...

欺負我...

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欸

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我好就好了啦...！

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真是...

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我只有

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被欺負的份吧！

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嗯哼嗯

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啊

我知道

哥的罩門

是甚麼了！

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就是...！女生...，吼！無法或不知道，怎麼給，哥哥，製作人哥哥...，完美的，句點魅..！吼喔哦！因為，哥也不是..，一開始..，就知道...，每個女生，最愛他，甚麼啊！總是女友，打給他，他就瘋惹！啊他，被女友關，發管制藥品，給「身心科/女友病人魅！」哥是被，女友關喔...！欸...，老婆太可怕惹...！啊...，吼！沒。時。間句點，惹得禍！啊...！頭腦啦！吼+*=-/@

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哥是

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警察吧

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哥怕...！

無法...

給女生

完美的

句點

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女生會受傷

哥就受傷惹魅！

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吼...！

原來

每個不同的對象

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所在乎的

天生都不一樣

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啊

研究不完的啦！

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就是說

每個女生

心中所在乎的完美的點

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都不一樣啊

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也有時候

甚至女生自己

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都不知道

自己

最美的樣子子

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是甚麼樣兒嘛

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真是

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眼睛豈是天生長在頭頂上！

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啊

處女魅

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每個女生

都是處女啊

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我爸是說

他永遠無法知道

性愛關係裡

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他沒遇過一個處女

他意思是

他無法確認

女生

是不是

真愛他啊

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啊那...

欸

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他搞不清楚

女生

靠近他

要幹嘛喔...！

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欸

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原來是

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這樣啊！

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啊

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岔遠了

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我是說

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每個女孩

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最愛男孩哪一點

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都不相同啊

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所以

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第一次

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男生由女生

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叫的狀態

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判斷女生的

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弱點是甚麼

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從此

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男生只會

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想好好

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保護她啊

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是這樣

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嗯哼嗯！

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被...！啊！我媽死，鬼月，八七前，抓交替..，死的！懷孕被車撞死的！我媽往生的死因！真的，我先看見一輛白車！神把我！接。走。了...！啊！暝目了！！

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這是真的

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我真的

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在我的

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幻覺裡

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看見一輛

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白禮車

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謝謝哥哥

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幫我看

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車子子

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謝謝

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車

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在我心裡！

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莫為我傷感

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我身體

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天生弱！

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知。道。嗎！

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這樣...

我就...

放心了！

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CALLA。

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她走了

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<給母親的一封信>

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雅。麗家族！

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美。商...，賀寶芙，訓練我的！

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然後...，婆婆好嚴厲！曾被公公整到畢業！啊...！那種臉！吼..！我..，啊憂...！懷孕時...，我都不想公開！不說，不就好惹...！妳知我知不就好惹！不要跟爸媽公婆旁人說啊！真。是！旁人...！要不就看戲，要不就考試！太可怕惹...！欸...，不登記，也是好啦！啊...！沒媽的小孩！像個寶...。

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親職教育。

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秘婚生子的苦衷

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太完美了...！

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不留言...！

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句點了...！

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因為

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太完美了！

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女兒

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影視電影大學畢業了！

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啊

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她再也

不當

真正的

演員惹....！

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女兒好辛苦！

她不是

演員的料啦！

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她畢業了！

躲在家

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寫劇本魅！

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鬼扯

是她

快樂的來源！

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她...！

演默劇

給男友看

就爽惹！

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也好啦！

不要給自己太大的壓力！

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她說

現在才知道

自己為何不適合

走入婚姻

啊

壓力太大

承受不起

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再次崩潰

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可能恐怕

會有生命危險魅...！

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她大二...！

有過

期末考

她選家庭劇

演到

昏倒了....！

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啊

信爸好心疼

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女兒醒了

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爸說

以後

畢業後

不要當演員了

妳責任心強

壓力太大了

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轉行吧！

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幼教組

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不錯！

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也。很。好！

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然後...，畢業證書..，卻又不小心，被撕毀了..！我唯一的女兒...，走了

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啊

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甚麼

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梅花弄喔

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好邪惡

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觀。後。感

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兇手

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伉哥哥

釋放了我

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啊

兒童家庭發展系

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給我的壓力...！

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我常夢到

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我

畢不了業

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大學一直生病

念了6年

然後

我

啊

18年來

病了幾次

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再走不出來

我受不了了...！

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還好！

甚麼都不用了

信哥說

不用打卡了

不用留言了

不用電話了

不用簡訊了

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啊

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句點的管制藥

最難發了...！

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啊

劇。組！

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戲劇型人格的我

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啊

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精神分裂！

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太可怕了...！

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我不要

再在現實裡

再跟哥

連絡了

因為

啊

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我畢業了...！

啊

終於息影

躲家裡了

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伉哥哥

抱我回家了

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好。

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我哭了

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就你！

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伉哥哥知道

他一離開我

我就掛了

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所以

肉身上

我不適合！

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皇帝伉哥哥特許！

我住在

他裡面面

主。夜

魅.....。

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吼。憂！太后娘娘欽此！

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這樣...，是悲劇...，還是..，喜劇啊...！全天下的傻瓜女孩！妳說呢？？

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刪留言！因為是...，重點魅！吼憂！傻。妞！！

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啊不然...，都死了...，還不放過我！我哭到幾時

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鬼

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吼

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啊憂

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寫

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啊

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自己想啦

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不完美魅

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劇情

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自己掰啊

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各人有各人的

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不。是。嗎！！

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<老天爺啊給我愛>

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台。灣！

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翦采...，翦。晴了！！

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我喜歡...，哥哥..；在。意。我魅！！哼恩嗯。

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眼睛不好..，頭腦兩個，看不到盲點；頭腦不好...，眼睛超好！看不到句點！我跟..，黃先生都...，所謂精神分裂遺傳的體質！欸，活著，對我們而言，都是，辛苦的事！欸

，或許！不是每種體質適合生育！優生學魅！體質...，天註定的！遺傳魅！！

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啊...，台商的下場啦...

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我全家，死了算了！

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誰說我家沒劇本！邪惡又變態！！

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欸啊...

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我是有輒...！

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吼...！

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親職教育銀髮族...

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所謂的

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導彈（台語發音）

就是

生兒子魅！所謂的

啊

我先告解！

沒辦法

精神病人

邪惡又汙穢！

網路色情亂罷凌人的一堆！

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就是

所謂的

雞雞在我裡面...；生小孩！生的是，兒子魅！公公啦！

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啊那...！「我一次，就讓你，畢業了！」婆婆魅！生女兒魅！吼憂！

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我終於知道...！

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為何婆婆都

那種臉惹.....！

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啊不然.++*= 。。

小孩+*-/

生不出來啦+=-@

啊憂+=//

吼。憂.

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我。會。笑。死！！

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黏在褲襠上好了！參考資料：燕燕阿姨。

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試。婚。記

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試婚成功！

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沒頭腦而已

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寫到我都昏了

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情節

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邪惡到

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我都跪了

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齁

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是喔

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我的媽憂

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你的痛...，我都明白！

知道嗎？

欸

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我掛念...

您的

每一位！！

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所以...！各位傻瓜小孩！戲是比喻... ，現實...，演不出來啦！！知道嗎？

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演得出來嗎

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我不是演給你了

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