「是我,完工了。」掛斷電話、輕輕拔出操到麻木的老二,我打開手機鏡頭,對準僵直的目標,拍攝證據傳給客戶。386Please respect copyright.PENANAaIgLC4489j
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啪唰。386Please respect copyright.PENANAHGRZZMkBZz
386Please respect copyright.PENANAxw7OTyjd58
白濁淫液流下特斯拉model S的紅潤尾燈,強烈對比十分煽情。平常都吃進口充電棒棒的高傲科技小穴,竟會被一芥台男盡情褻瀆。也許,伊隆‧馬○克把Twitter幹成自己形狀的時候,也很享受這種跨越物理層級的征服快感吧。386Please respect copyright.PENANALJVEcqDWB9
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>算你狠,匯款過去了,快點去看精神科。386Please respect copyright.PENANAhX0Vi1p9NY
386Please respect copyright.PENANAuViMQd0ZSB
客戶訊息隨著入帳通知一起跳出。暗網使用者大多只是抱著看戲心態發出委託,但優點就是說話算話,有結果就有報酬。這層情報網也讓我結識不少握有「管道」的變態大佬,一步步實現我的理想。386Please respect copyright.PENANA1H6DW9eBKg
386Please respect copyright.PENANANvyKQkDECr
<合作愉快,關於「入境」的事,再麻煩大哥安排。386Please respect copyright.PENANAfJYPZswjeS
386Please respect copyright.PENANA16nudNll57
「嘶……好痛……燒焦了嗎?」真的不能小看鋰電池呢。披上大衣,我一跛一跛地走出停車場,融入來來往往的人群。386Please respect copyright.PENANAYVnK2ZDTSE
386Please respect copyright.PENANAOC8bpBqDG4
我跟大家沒什麼不同,努力保持著社會需要我保持的形象,偶爾才會脫掉理性、發洩情慾。當然,不可否認,我的對象比較奇特一點。386Please respect copyright.PENANATUIGxzuIXq
386Please respect copyright.PENANAkVstPEQdjj
小時候,坐在爸爸的本田小狼上面,看他打開油箱蓋、插入油槍時,某種難以言喻的情懷瞬間席捲全身……我首次勃起了。不久後,我就把人生第一次獻給那隻幼獸,它也用耐操的四行程引擎接納了我,讓我全身毛孔都感受到歷久彌新的日系工業精神與造型美感。386Please respect copyright.PENANAxOFWQoteQK
386Please respect copyright.PENANAoYngY5uBT9
機車、汽車、公車。隨年齡增長,我的對象也跟著技術演進日新月異。捷運、火車、高鐵。我為了到達更高境界,歷經過無數生死關頭以及法律訴訟,最後,終於以「上車俠:卡爾法克曼」的身分闖出名堂。其代價可想而知。幸好台灣有健保。386Please respect copyright.PENANAPKNl4IgKZc
386Please respect copyright.PENANAv8XZen8XWw
「又是你,這次肛了什麼東西?」泌尿科名醫看到我走進診間,不耐煩地翻了個白眼。386Please respect copyright.PENANAJnIwaPNj2m
386Please respect copyright.PENANASPGC6mvInt
「電動車啦……醫生,請問一下,懶覺能裝『爆炸式反應裝甲』嗎?」386Please respect copyright.PENANAlJ3glk15x7
386Please respect copyright.PENANAG6Rq47tZhl
「靠夭,裝那個衝三小……等等,你該不會要……」386Please respect copyright.PENANAPO4KXhsVyL
386Please respect copyright.PENANAYlPh6ppnVm
「嗯,我要去加薩。」386Please respect copyright.PENANATwXYVp55vh
386Please respect copyright.PENANAsnfdLk9Ng1
我跟最信賴的全能雞雞改造王娓娓道來:持續數千年的紛爭地帶最近又開始打得火熱,在那宛若人間煉獄的聖土中,有我畢生夢寐以求的終極目標。386Please respect copyright.PENANAH1PjQrDPZn
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坦克車。386Please respect copyright.PENANA2VvXfBk45R
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坦克到處都有,為何選擇那邊?老實說,國軍戰車對我來說有點太老(M60A3:1980年代),烏克蘭最近又沒什麼新聞台要報。我想要在世界矚目下征服那些活跳跳、衝刺前線的殺人機器。我……想要一個代表作,來證明我的存在,就是這麼單純吧……386Please respect copyright.PENANAFrE8e4OIji
386Please respect copyright.PENANADXtLtIqwCr
說著說著,我哭了。可惜,醫生聽完也沒有給我反應裝甲,只叫我去買塔位。我知道,這一趟,大概是我的最後旅程。人生苦短,何不壯烈一場?沒辦法,我們藝術家都是如此浪漫。386Please respect copyright.PENANA7B6Y6JshOt
386Please respect copyright.PENANAhfgH20Y4Kb
領完藥回家,簡單打包行李,我就搭上前往埃及的班機了。386Please respect copyright.PENANAcXgpMU4Eqj
386Please respect copyright.PENANAM5vsyChNot
三十多小時的航程實在很久,我難免偷偷幻想屁股下面那台猛禽的後庭觸感、幻想自己撫摸那兩片型隨機能的美豔尾翼,但我還是把持住,乖乖到廁所用手解決,把煩惱跟精子一起沖進馬桶、噴向天空。以此甘霖滋養萬物,類似灑骨灰的概念。386Please respect copyright.PENANAOD19PtrucR
386Please respect copyright.PENANAajnZuRV3YO
尻完睡睡,很快就抵達目的地。坐上暗網線人的車子接近拉法(Rafah)過境點,塞錢給不知何方勢力的武裝人員時,我的心臟一直撲通地跳。遠處槍響不斷、天上滿是飛彈尾煙,各種非日常光景讓弟弟縮得不能再小,根本沒心情色色。386Please respect copyright.PENANAwre0aKpsvl
386Please respect copyright.PENANAhkHD94EvXp
進入加薩市區,線人丟下我就跑了,我只好自己找地方歇腳。步行經過飽受轟炸的斷垣殘壁,看見民眾每個人手執一把武器,圍著俘虜的屍體大聲唱歌,好不激憤,甚至,還有很多小孩混在其中。自幼接受戰爭遊戲薰陶,難怪世仇會永無止境……夠了,專注點,我是來上車的。渺小淫蟲無法改變殘酷現實,想辦法活著達成目的比較重要。386Please respect copyright.PENANA5B7mAC7jvL
386Please respect copyright.PENANAseSyve15ht
說時遲那時快,一聲砰然巨響,人群瞬間作鳥獸散,散到一半又被捲入火海。飛散瓦礫和肉塊噴到臉上,我趕緊躲進建築內部,緊張地聽著引擎咆哮聲、看著那頭巨獸的碩大陰影竄上壁面。386Please respect copyright.PENANAQdXq0gCPgV
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「來了……」386Please respect copyright.PENANAwFax3zBkuL
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梅卡瓦MK IV主力戰車衝入大街,無情開火,要把所有哈瑪斯、平民,連同俘虜全部趕盡殺絕。探出窗戶,我被那根有如男性器馬眼的砲孔直直對著,立即腿軟攤坐在地,正巧躲過同軸機槍的掃射。386Please respect copyright.PENANAxH4e2aWvwU
386Please respect copyright.PENANA2v9sySDDHS
媽的!這情況,怎麼可能上得了車?當我兩個頭都下垂著,感到無比絕望、想要逃跑時,熟悉的喇叭聲突然傳進耳朵。386Please respect copyright.PENANASNTaG95TI1
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「那是……豐田?」386Please respect copyright.PENANAhNNacZ01fw
386Please respect copyright.PENANAMOA9fU6GiF
反擊號角響起,數台印著Toyota商標的貨卡載著大量哈瑪斯戰鬥員,用絕佳的機動性穿梭於街道中。梅卡瓦戰車正想後退脫離包圍時,一顆火箭推進榴彈直接命中她的履帶,讓她失去移動能力。386Please respect copyright.PENANABRLU7tUYLV
386Please respect copyright.PENANARWBYImldYm
好機會!我想都不想就翻出建築殘骸,發現股間的小鋼炮不知不覺也進入戰鬥狀態。果然,就像其他台男憧憬AV女優,made in Japan總是能我慾火焚身。謝謝你,我的初戀,台日友好。386Please respect copyright.PENANAOFaLAJKJDY
386Please respect copyright.PENANAjeHF7fKhbn
抱著神風特攻的決心衝到鋼鐵巨獸腳邊,我看準旋迴中的砲塔死角,兩腳蹬地、兩手一攀,使勁跳躍空翻一圈同時褪去外衣,以全裸之姿立於砲管末端。接著,趁駕駛員還沒反應過來,我就抓著120mm戰車砲,從炙熱的砲口幹了進去。386Please respect copyright.PENANAfY5VZ8O5lA
386Please respect copyright.PENANA1Hdp9gQm8W
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整個戰場陷入寂靜,所有視線都盯著我奮力擺腰。386Please respect copyright.PENANAHjlotHhIpN
386Please respect copyright.PENANATbZXyD2wcE
386Please respect copyright.PENANAUjKDDRX8T5
操,沒感覺?廢話,陰莖勃起直徑頂多20mm出頭,根本是在幹空氣。戰車駕駛馬上擺動炮身想要把我甩掉,我只好動用雙腳緊緊鉗住獵物,繼續嘗試各種體位。再不找到G點就危險了。386Please respect copyright.PENANA81K7oqVcos
386Please respect copyright.PENANA18b4JraZTv
不祥預感成真,豐田貨卡接連爆炸。另一台梅卡瓦直接輾過燃燒中的廢鐵,往我這邊襲來。不只如此,第二台、第三台、好幾台以色列戰車也從後方出現。386Please respect copyright.PENANAPs4QmRCsva
386Please respect copyright.PENANAqgDn8BbbBS
大勢已去了。天○○事件、肉身擋坦克的畫面掠過我的腦海。啊……人類面對時代潮流,都是如此無力嗎?奇妙跑馬燈的最後一張,是○○平那維○般的笑容。386Please respect copyright.PENANAhLgzCQkyvT
386Please respect copyright.PENANAfH6x8M1NJz
「Allahu Akbar!」386Please respect copyright.PENANAovdYf1iGAj
386Please respect copyright.PENANA46IgXst6Fz
別鬧了……○近○哪會這樣講,共產黨是無神論啊。等等,不對,喊出阿拉花瓜的,是那些殘存的哈瑪斯戰鬥員。386Please respect copyright.PENANAr00UV4Ekuk
386Please respect copyright.PENANANob7fSTLly
「Allahu Akbar!」「Allahu Akbar!」「Allahu Akbar!」386Please respect copyright.PENANAw9Sqp21zEO
386Please respect copyright.PENANAUJZZwtv83d
呼喚真主之名,所有人都效法我脫光衣服,爬上戰車去幹砲管。Nooo!不行!我只是來洩慾的,不要像我一樣白白浪費生命!不論如何喊叫,在震耳欲聾的噪音之下都是徒勞。很快地,各台戰車就依序射擊,把那些人的身體直接炸成一團團血霧。386Please respect copyright.PENANALB5OkFqYfo
386Please respect copyright.PENANA6Wscxn5jeg
「嗚哦哦哦哦……」淚水不自覺地湧出。瀕臨死亡的恐懼激發雄性本能,我更加速抽插時,突然發現有東西在摩擦小頭盔,引起陣陣酥麻。原來,四處亂彈的海綿體清潔棍正好卡入砲口內的膛線,達到類似飛機杯螺旋紋路的刺激效果。386Please respect copyright.PENANAlJAL7k4PO0
386Please respect copyright.PENANALr6vYDydly
終於,有回饋了!快槍俠模式啟動,趕緊完事逃跑吧。正當我如此盤算時,蛋蛋竟感到一股莫名熱氣。386Please respect copyright.PENANAYVaRfypGwW
386Please respect copyright.PENANAeFBizfeRVP
那是想要附在蝌蚪上投胎的數億冤魂?還是正要擊發的燒夷彈?不管真相如何,都讓我歸懶趴火。怎麼能就這樣草草了事……戰爭……戰爭實在太愚蠢,世界必須親眼見證,否則只會重蹈覆轍……這一發,必須是無限。386Please respect copyright.PENANAA6CQQ2KE8h
386Please respect copyright.PENANAxzzpeiUQq9
超越理性與野性的界線,征服恐懼,就能征服命運……全力以赴,才對得起自己的信念……我的身體,就借給大家了!386Please respect copyright.PENANAeQRljHVTxH
386Please respect copyright.PENANAtZYHY6Luwp
「哈啊啊啊啊……去⸺吧⸺!」386Please respect copyright.PENANApQf9pN1W5j
386Please respect copyright.PENANAROgrWs42Dt
脊髓送出高潮訊號,砲手同時扣下扳機。超射精vs戰車砲,兩股力量在砲管內激烈碰撞,把它越撐越大、越撐越大,好像媽媽因懷孕而圓潤的肚皮,不斷鼓脹、不斷鼓脹,直到母性的慈愛光輝即將包覆整個地球。
386Please respect copyright.PENANAlMKQ75pIS2
砰!
386Please respect copyright.PENANALAvb7E7ns8
被震波彈到遠處,我也逐漸失去意識。眼中最後的畫面,是戰車砲管從中炸裂、開岔成花瓣狀,還有幾架標示CNN的直升機從上飛過。386Please respect copyright.PENANA8RYFBEEPqj
386Please respect copyright.PENANAmS3OYdHAck
看好了,遠在英美的國際警察們,這就是血淋淋的前線景色;看好了,只關注那些「值得關注」的知識份子,這就是我低俗又赤裸的告白。386Please respect copyright.PENANAEllOBxV7vg
386Please respect copyright.PENANAVYn4Ol9t2S
不要再讓孩子拿槍了,讓他們尻槍就好;不要再強姦人質,強姦無機物就好。讓人類的罪業回歸到人類的造物之上,我們不應該再互相傷害。權力、教條、既定觀念;種族、派系、意識形態,在性愛前面都微不足道。仇人啊,脫掉衣服、脫掉成見,到床上一決勝負,然後,互相理解吧。386Please respect copyright.PENANAL23Fixz4Ot
386Please respect copyright.PENANAwFM1lQfp6J
螺旋槳吹散沙塵,躺成大字形的男人兩腿之間,是一朵垂著白露的鋼鐵之花盛開綻放。唯美畫面乘著網路,轟動全球。
386Please respect copyright.PENANA0JF7KVgl9g
……Carfuckman……
……カーファックマン……
……كارفوكمان……
386Please respect copyright.PENANA8unschBfKm
不論走到哪裡,人人口中都是那個反戰的代名詞。
386Please respect copyright.PENANABesaz8Spxz
然而,激情終將沉澱,被新的硝煙覆蓋。386Please respect copyright.PENANAtw9R2qsWTd
386Please respect copyright.PENANAn5YiX0cyJz
戰爭並未止歇,人類還有很長一段路要走。上車俠上了最後一次車,從此消聲匿跡。有人說他死了,也有人說他改變目標,跟飛行器偷情去了。不論如何,我們都會惦記著他,惦記那個為了上車而獻出一切的蠢蛋……386Please respect copyright.PENANAO8OhIZeGnE
386Please respect copyright.PENANAVLcaY68mrN
下次,去加油站時,注意一下你的油箱。搞不好,象徵和平的白濁,會從裡面流出來,也說不定呢。386Please respect copyright.PENANAwmSsJHZKCo
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○~完~○
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對不起QQ386Please respect copyright.PENANAD2Q7AMbQjf
386Please respect copyright.PENANAy8dW8vMScC
認真的車文在拙作《極光漂流》#35