「你還可以嗎？」688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwztDeCpZr
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS33YGVKuKg
「無法不可以。」688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuBHB5iGXl
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg089ID7qxT
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjuBAAF2U9
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gquX4XMuh
「謝謝你。」688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2dXMXfrLP
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05O8BPUW5e
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9D5OxCkNB
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUK5MbNl1W
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIPjr6feJP
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1217oFT0oi
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnnD3f0jTM
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTn6zOhOORH
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9bt5YjPfd
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5G3BGpVCh
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PXlGJd5Ct
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4VRYa5mGC
「老婆……」688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdf6lfjncK
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVFdJNi2mx
「有困難？金錢？」688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINtrwSdrid
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtkxZVawNz
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiByJvBYyY
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlPUYeOzfp
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wKw7MfG2t
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewhW9LTWyR
「嗯。」688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4yNGJHqWC
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmh5sYKezO
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡih0mLHhxUO
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCRhtWA8EY
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqV2J0E8gai
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10lSH26qXR
無能。無力。無奈。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zSeHdtAxv
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5zRxPZLT4
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXozmC0Z7dV
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BY3gKHJUI
剪不斷，理還亂。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzfXNiB6gI
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IikkE0GGt
勿剪，別理。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNnbo2rdo0
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsJZBGNobw
待時日將其化解。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXcXL80eri
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetJUvX8tSn
莫操心。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYF9EySGQJ7
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxcMSDYx96
莫操心？688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuZdRkNS8u
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0P3C470zAF
如何莫操心？688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHsDYHaIIP
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nz3Up9OUw
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9O0BgbnaS
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweI00fFtKy
撐多久？如何撐？688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOlMH6vLqr
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWDdbK4nxx
不知道……688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PnQ81GQ9D
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTbb2SQ4Cj
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcmvV1acUf
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mVQygALtm
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDjVoRXeRJ
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiEoQzveAD
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5e1i2HMMNe
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9hMDcu9sR
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlw0Ba0E6b5
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6utr5misx
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKS13kRefJ
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChmMRKJRFx
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6reXWFzYx9
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbCOZZwi2e
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxYoEpKIBL
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBqGJxc2kX
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡks2dKTgsZl
我笑。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqzRnbdPsW
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJPj2kAgnh
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPgAEtIeJO
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9D6vVkDuY
忽爾不想回家。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Jxv68i50k
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dChWHUKGR
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyf7RFus3sW
「好的。」688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9X6QbHde9L
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bnhedD7Bq
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneirASbAK0
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRddNUaKVig
只會苦了自己。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmm2p4HQuk
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOqi31rJp8
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9rbsIBilz
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboge2vSUCa
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJtUsmlJfX
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMv7q7Isiq
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SVIKegLdE
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42pQVdLboZ
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxtMkfnlFp
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSJs4GJOi2
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFErIVNAz26
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnk2XATjz0
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QCNWUbOxp
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TClJX2xfu
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjppeF75upR
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoK8A8ILOg
一、二、三、四、五……688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8aj0LTLot
註：688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65IZsYcIvj
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7WSCoiVJr
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUBaWLET08
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNeSzzDmmmL
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHFAaxAMWd
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwcKwJEDwL
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8pHZeqm5gB
688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UdZssJcDC
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》688Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzffmWKO41
