「你還可以嗎?」718Please respect copyright.PENANACfXixRBmtE
718Please respect copyright.PENANA5Mg6vdtqmC
「無法不可以。」718Please respect copyright.PENANAovZUlpLFJ4
718Please respect copyright.PENANAbWRvKYB0wK
「如需幫忙,來找我吧。」718Please respect copyright.PENANAQNtSEUkh2N
718Please respect copyright.PENANAjPWHcHm7m9
「謝謝你。」718Please respect copyright.PENANAKnj7mlvNa6
718Please respect copyright.PENANAfqQmcdTkCr
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯,概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱,一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙,我除了感激,更多的是恥感。718Please respect copyright.PENANA4JwOQ1glEe
718Please respect copyright.PENANAmOvkVvvpWB
唉!多講無謂,反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。718Please respect copyright.PENANA5w78u3AioK
718Please respect copyright.PENANAfQPfbh9bXq
疫情關係,全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子,早已節衣縮食,積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著:工作日數減半意味薪金減半。718Please respect copyright.PENANAXsjeP4tiAo
718Please respect copyright.PENANApeCWrqAZqS
供樓開支無法削減,父母醫療開支不能削,孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……718Please respect copyright.PENANAZCZ5Rf0OYi
718Please respect copyright.PENANA7iXqHI87V4
飯後,兩老早睡,兒女溫習,妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。718Please respect copyright.PENANA89v9oQaTmt
718Please respect copyright.PENANAWicIFIwt7P
「老婆……」718Please respect copyright.PENANAm1hqYNIoeS
718Please respect copyright.PENANAg2lrD4lV7c
「有困難?金錢?」718Please respect copyright.PENANApvzpTzgct5
718Please respect copyright.PENANAcRmZgMgxO0
妻子搶佔發言先機,內心不安的我更覺虛怯。718Please respect copyright.PENANAMudU55ZfOU
718Please respect copyright.PENANAoVVNXyBpYz
「是。明天開始,只需星期二、四上班。」718Please respect copyright.PENANA2RtbTahTxr
718Please respect copyright.PENANAfYNI3kYXP9
「嗯。」718Please respect copyright.PENANAG7bTCis0n7
718Please respect copyright.PENANAfE4naetk06
妻子沒再多話,專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外,卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實,也就只得接受和硬撐,呼天搶地無補於事。718Please respect copyright.PENANAl8dUPNzYGj
718Please respect copyright.PENANAZftuh210lX
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。718Please respect copyright.PENANATegdbzQ1iQ
718Please respect copyright.PENANAY01PnmqO3M
無能。無力。無奈。718Please respect copyright.PENANAD4ltZgcvTc
718Please respect copyright.PENANAFUQRcpRziT
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。718Please respect copyright.PENANAVBEXX7O4Ue
718Please respect copyright.PENANA7QTQkopq07
剪不斷,理還亂。718Please respect copyright.PENANAKO3qbsqW9d
718Please respect copyright.PENANAUT0e6c1YFO
勿剪,別理。718Please respect copyright.PENANAvTkvulv7dj
718Please respect copyright.PENANAm3IrMyVd4z
待時日將其化解。718Please respect copyright.PENANAxQGMahDGBD
718Please respect copyright.PENANAdqvnV8gd6J
莫操心。718Please respect copyright.PENANApfaXXKnouy
718Please respect copyright.PENANA1NHHCBiXq4
莫操心?718Please respect copyright.PENANAMviMz3vGNh
718Please respect copyright.PENANABFESJ5zTus
如何莫操心?718Please respect copyright.PENANASIKPNNL6Gr
718Please respect copyright.PENANAEmbjGuSAUT
我知道困境必定會過去,但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。718Please respect copyright.PENANAt6fuluxr4G
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撐多久?如何撐?718Please respect copyright.PENANA1WXReqPL72
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不知道……718Please respect copyright.PENANAwCVlPH6VZV
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減,辦公室冷清不少。718Please respect copyright.PENANAnqukbMQy5q
718Please respect copyright.PENANAdjxt1JO4tA
有人若無其事,有人變得寡言,有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何,公司繼續營運,世界繼續運轉。718Please respect copyright.PENANAC1vzUU6EXI
718Please respect copyright.PENANAPNuCF9ceF5
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞,骨瘦如柴,神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物,飢腸轆轆。絕望?誰管你的!天地蒼茫,白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在,北極仍是北極,我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。718Please respect copyright.PENANAj0bkxjaGIx
718Please respect copyright.PENANAGCNx7Pp46R
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸,白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯,菜心苦黃,排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧!不了,豉油不是必需品,不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。718Please respect copyright.PENANAIB5eB6n3tJ
718Please respect copyright.PENANA9SyqCJJnim
下班時間,加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量,也不代表工作進度可以放慢。718Please respect copyright.PENANA5b8N1BIBoi
718Please respect copyright.PENANA9YCvdHRdxd
每次想及時間、日子,位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼:它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了;它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目,接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來;它在教導我人生大道理,一寸光陰一吋金,吋金難買寸光陰,更何況加班沒有加班費……718Please respect copyright.PENANAnSPBPHrNog
718Please respect copyright.PENANAqByRmJ5iES
關機,正式下班。心情太壞,說服不了自己留下來。回首,同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解,但無法奉陪到底。718Please respect copyright.PENANAk1vG21r6lf
718Please respect copyright.PENANAdyXgbu6LZ9
大街上,人影疏落,商店無燈。車站無人,想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃,在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花,演唱會螢光棒,無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸,床頭小燈,被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控,只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累?是吧。718Please respect copyright.PENANApn6MSOQxYC
718Please respect copyright.PENANAlEvkuPj1Ru
我笑。718Please respect copyright.PENANAJ1cqnLmLhI
718Please respect copyright.PENANAYJRXWybK77
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。718Please respect copyright.PENANAg23gw3egWk
718Please respect copyright.PENANAb6ZsZ4QbJh
忽爾不想回家。718Please respect copyright.PENANAOld0JiCcvb
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」718Please respect copyright.PENANANuDwC7svGn
718Please respect copyright.PENANAYyuuJjWoGx
「好的。」718Please respect copyright.PENANAZD1NuudlF0
718Please respect copyright.PENANARa38M6e15Y
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵,皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥,微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從?是否只得接受?不順從又如何?不接受又如何?718Please respect copyright.PENANAAlMVfeGgtl
718Please respect copyright.PENANAcKE2rlI3Mv
只會苦了自己。718Please respect copyright.PENANAHc0nzr5faI
718Please respect copyright.PENANAsBAVsiX9v3
努力改變過,極力掙扎過,然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。718Please respect copyright.PENANAkK4jqmzfJW
718Please respect copyright.PENANAyRGkxb6dJb
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。718Please respect copyright.PENANA8oDbsw7vIN
718Please respect copyright.PENANAyZ1Rsz1cHV
浴後,睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著,光源自窗外滲入,剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲,以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子,如怪物,如鬼魅。718Please respect copyright.PENANAhrzdCPE08A
718Please respect copyright.PENANAIletWwJDSK
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題?」718Please respect copyright.PENANAAqdTNOaKoo
718Please respect copyright.PENANAwvyfagCXI1
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」718Please respect copyright.PENANALUZi2b3VZc
718Please respect copyright.PENANAlzAa3Czj9m
妻子乾笑一聲,側身面窗睡去。718Please respect copyright.PENANAW3vi78iJ3U
718Please respect copyright.PENANAKloSXvjbnx
我實在笑不出口,呆望天花數蟲子。718Please respect copyright.PENANA31MguSPNKc
718Please respect copyright.PENANAZbN7H4AF0O
一、二、三、四、五……718Please respect copyright.PENANAz0eZco2ZWl
註:718Please respect copyright.PENANA6PW6XuPndq
718Please respect copyright.PENANAAW4XkjA4I4
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢?」718Please respect copyright.PENANAGzBmoKmfz9
718Please respect copyright.PENANAK8ZksBop75
我認為大家除了關於物質上(例如金錢、生活質素)、生理上(例如生命、健康)及心理上(安全感、與親友相聚的快樂)的失去,還有自我認同(例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判)的失去。718Please respect copyright.PENANADTar66LJT1
718Please respect copyright.PENANAXhgRA2d2K5
未必關乎大是大非,每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓,足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害?誰知道。718Please respect copyright.PENANArU25mnjqE7
718Please respect copyright.PENANA4ppV3Rg0tF
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》718Please respect copyright.PENANAX3ZYQpPZEM