「你還可以嗎？」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfXixRBmtE
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Mg6vdtqmC
「無法不可以。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovZUlpLFJ4
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWRvKYB0wK
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNtSEUkh2N
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPWHcHm7m9
「謝謝你。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnj7mlvNa6
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqQmcdTkCr
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JwOQ1glEe
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOvkVvvpWB
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5w78u3AioK
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQPfbh9bXq
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsjeP4tiAo
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeCWrqAZqS
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCZ5Rf0OYi
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iXqHI87V4
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89v9oQaTmt
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWicIFIwt7P
「老婆……」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1hqYNIoeS
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2lrD4lV7c
「有困難？金錢？」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvzpTzgct5
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRmZgMgxO0
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMudU55ZfOU
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVVNXyBpYz
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RtbTahTxr
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYNI3kYXP9
「嗯。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7bTCis0n7
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfE4naetk06
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8dUPNzYGj
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZftuh210lX
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTegdbzQ1iQ
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY01PnmqO3M
無能。無力。無奈。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4ltZgcvTc
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUQRcpRziT
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBEXX7O4Ue
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QTQkopq07
剪不斷，理還亂。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKO3qbsqW9d
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUT0e6c1YFO
勿剪，別理。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTkvulv7dj
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3IrMyVd4z
待時日將其化解。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQGMahDGBD
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqvnV8gd6J
莫操心。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfaXXKnouy
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NHHCBiXq4
莫操心？718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMviMz3vGNh
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFESJ5zTus
如何莫操心？718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIKPNNL6Gr
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmbjGuSAUT
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6fuluxr4G
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCn9lia6Bb
撐多久？如何撐？718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WXReqPL72
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYQDhCoymZ
不知道……718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCVlPH6VZV
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqukbMQy5q
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjxt1JO4tA
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1vzUU6EXI
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNuCF9ceF5
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0bkxjaGIx
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCNx7Pp46R
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIB5eB6n3tJ
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SyqCJJnim
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5b8N1BIBoi
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YCvdHRdxd
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSPBPHrNog
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqByRmJ5iES
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1vG21r6lf
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyXgbu6LZ9
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpn6MSOQxYC
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEvkuPj1Ru
我笑。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1cqnLmLhI
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJRXWybK77
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg23gw3egWk
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6ZsZ4QbJh
忽爾不想回家。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOld0JiCcvb
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuDwC7svGn
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyuuJjWoGx
「好的。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZD1NuudlF0
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRa38M6e15Y
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlMVfeGgtl
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKE2rlI3Mv
只會苦了自己。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHc0nzr5faI
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBAVsiX9v3
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkK4jqmzfJW
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRGkxb6dJb
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oDbsw7vIN
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZ1Rsz1cHV
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrzdCPE08A
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIletWwJDSK
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqdTNOaKoo
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvyfagCXI1
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUZi2b3VZc
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzAa3Czj9m
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3vi78iJ3U
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKloSXvjbnx
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31MguSPNKc
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbN7H4AF0O
一、二、三、四、五……718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0eZco2ZWl
註：718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PW6XuPndq
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAW4XkjA4I4
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzBmoKmfz9
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8ZksBop75
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTar66LJT1
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhgRA2d2K5
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrU25mnjqE7
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ppV3Rg0tF
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3ZYQpPZEM
