（原作：美宅男夢工廠 by 歐巴龍）
我是鬼，五十年前因一時輕敵被該死的神父封印，今天終於有個智障把我放出來了。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLx8zjg5Jdm
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiszD7o2k6Z
「啊，我不小心撞到了。」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWup9HvwnF
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7fvS0b6PO
戴著眼鏡的矮個子從地上撿起斷成兩截的十字架，那十字架做工精細，將耶穌受難的神情刻得栩栩如生，偏偏斷截處又恰好在耶穌的頸子，這彷彿是褻瀆聖子的舉動，嚇得他面色一陣發白。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysoQRgHLWh
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkDZJ5PyiC
我滿意點頭。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGKmMv4iAn
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡco4y6fSgYY
很好，這就是我要的效果，愧疚吧！顫抖吧！你們內心的恐懼都將成為我的食糧！811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BxVQcG4px
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV27TQil1pl
一旁的高個青年放下行李，接過十字架研究了會，搖頭說：「沒辦法，賠錢吧。」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZ1ygx0IC3
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqwyWNJG5M
「不知貴不貴？」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqpl5zcaGP
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46F9B0OYne
「應該還好。」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZp9OXC2eY
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoh2f5CaYp
「不過我第一次看到飯店會在房裡放十字架耶。」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZn7CMQMRD6
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQQREsN9xB
「我也是，也有可能是上一個房客落下的。」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZJdp3A5KE
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSj0GountOn
兩人說著，就扔下十字架，各自從包裡掏出一個15吋的加蓋四方形儀器，分別坐在桌邊和床上看了起來。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWv3B3RhGDg
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLyCDAVkR1
我震驚了。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7MiOhsK8k
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAcTbfaREq
不對啊，你們不是該為冒犯神明一事瑟瑟發抖或心生不祥嗎？怎麼可以這麼鎮定？811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgy3XZtAfAp
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IzXnHfSw0
話說回來，剛這兩個人類說的是哪國語言？811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsvRwYIxU9
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBf46KElUD
「小語。」高個子捧著四方形儀器坐到矮個子身邊，「我這邊有個Design problem能幫我看一下嗎？」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXXDew61S1
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxYaNh9g3b
喔，總算聽到熟悉的語言，我立刻湊過去，邊在心裡計畫各種嚇人詭計，誰知我一靠近，就被那四方形儀器映射出來的畫面嚇得倒退三舍。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzE4LhWIyb
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOlQlv2fc8
What the hell?811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnN4PUcweft
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2BgW6k8Uy
那些密密麻麻的數字符號和文字是什麼東西？為何每一個拆開我都懂，合起來我就看不懂？難道又是教會新研發的鎮鬼經文？811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZB5ldGB4k
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9FeD2V3W9
幸好我躲了半天，都沒感覺到不適，才又慢慢飄過去，聽他們嘰哩呱啦摻雜一些英文詞彙的對話，什麼Project，什麼Function，If不If，還有……Parent & child？811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUofrlJ9HM
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAOUqKUWT7
嘶——811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19BeIub2b3
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uw52wMoWj
我驚疑打量他們只要是黃種人就分不出差別和年紀的臉，開始對他們的關係感到疑惑。但不管怎麼樣，管他們是日本人還是越南人，就算是印度來的，只要是活人，這口糧我都吃定了！811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWUfuf8kNd
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQwpDC0Tvr
陰風輕輕地吹，一隻冰涼的鬼爪胡亂往矮個子的腰窩戳。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKgatqsNbl
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvDYFvpKlf
「夏熠輝你幹嘛啦？很癢耶。」矮個子咯咯亂笑，捶了高個子一記。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpaO5S3VSv
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjYNxv7ORQ
正注視「鎮鬼經文」的高個子回過頭，投以茫然目光，「哈啊？什麼？我聽不懂。」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMuQibaOyS
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZymQtrjKBI
矮個子撇了撇嘴，咕噥一句「又來！」就看回「鎮鬼經文」，「沒什麼，你看這裡……」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFMOhnQxJg
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMp1WQzSebl
「 嗯。」高個子應完，就順手攬住矮個子的腰，看起來像將對方抱在懷裡。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZe28onTeV
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzk0Mfv5200
我也投以茫然目光，感覺哪裡怪怪的。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDTOEA5NWY
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk012Y4HVRt
但身為一個高端的鬼，必須不能使用重複伎倆，於是我飄到高個子身邊，俯身在他耳邊輕笑低語，「嘻嘻嘻，要不要陪我玩？」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pCMEzgctJ
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJJqxqWJLX
然而高個子不為所動！811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZyEQsKcDo
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8vUL1B5V2
我不死心，再說：「我的腳……你把我的腳藏到哪了？」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMagTnlq2GI
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnvy08C2ca
高個子依然面不改色！811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsu8xp37iqI
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXI3NgRuHY0
我大怒，直接用吼的，「你死定了！我要殺了你！殺殺殺！」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSURkClhrli
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2E5AF4Y73
這次高個子終於有動作了。他皺眉掏了掏耳朵，取出一個小巧的儀器擦一擦再戴回去。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQyOuuu712
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqNCMUXhGS
這一刻，我吐血，如果鬼還有血的話。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKqJSloiND
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhNPoPSp9s
矮個子比手畫腳地問：「怎麼了？」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4g4az8jplR
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegm5BGuoJx
高個子搖搖頭，「助聽器有點雜音，大概之前下雨淋到了。」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXa7yPVCDbo
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBsEja8cMS
馬的！原來這傢伙是個聾子！811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtWT9WFh4q
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cIJC01VJs
受到打擊的我窩回角落自閉，直到那兩人蓋上四方形儀器，起身從行李掏出衣物，一前一後地進了浴室，我才精神一振。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23I3L8mwG9
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5OTfPQcn6
方才一定是因為「鎮鬼經文」的關係，才讓我出師不利，現在就應該趁他們不在，先把那可疑的四方形儀器毀掉。於是我磨拳擦掌地飄到桌前，準備用最狠厲殘暴的手段摧毀敵人時，就赫然驚見四方形儀器上頭壓著一袋綠色包裝物，那包裝物上頭還印著一個露出兩顆門牙的小傢伙笑容燦爛，這殺傷力不大，但污辱性極強！811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiq7r96KhOM
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9k6NTEhr5A
這時，浴室傳來我聽不懂的對話。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGqEbBrsdo
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbOHCYvbqC
「為什麼要擺那包零食？」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5PXYvQH1L
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFvi0MC6Zq
「那是我們台灣的電腦保護神，只要有綠乖乖，所有電子設備都一定會乖乖運作。」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBFGGf2urG
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLoab8u8BV
「所以不能吃嗎？」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9pRwRZDLP
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MxTER4TBx
「不能，吃了就沒用了。」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOj36jrtcCm
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tIQwIVSl8
「但我餓了。」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBt5E2yRZwA
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「……」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd54qE9ma15
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfyRT7HOmn
此時此刻的我已被怒火佔據理智，絲毫沒意識到哪裡不對勁，只一心想給這兩個該死的人類好看，便動用所有力量顯現身影，以最猙獰駭人的面貌衝進浴室，並開始期待人類被嚇得屁滾尿流的畫面。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7UeTwEG6L
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkao2U12dZ
哇哈哈哈，驚嚇吧！恐懼吧！人……811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbZDEDiwl1
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNfVmyqY3p
「啊……夏熠輝……那裡不、不行……」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡax0J0te3eU
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7jT97vAUM
「小語……小語……」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6bb05kSjt
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBWa9qLidp
Gya——811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gSBhCVdHb
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtURtblQzeg
我發出了比曾被我嚇暈的人類還要驚恐的慘叫。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmjr6GjpY7
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPigVL9C8T
They are fucking gay!811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXYYvO1hUY
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3gkuXje0o
這如同撒旦一般邪惡的存在，徹底嚇破我的小心靈，讓我一秒縮回十字架，還很自覺地將耶穌的頸子接回來。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqB19uiriP
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcHezLY9Ay
Oh no！No！No！No！No！Hell no！811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nbdeMXsRU
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3j7Oc8Ukho
五十年過去，沒想到人間已經變成撒旦的天下，上帝你這不爭氣的傢伙啊！我看我還是繼續沉眠吧。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZtdXt7SBn
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzyWd7NwSC
浴室裡，秋推了下將自己壓在牆邊的人，沒戴眼鏡的雙眼一片朦朧，「等、等一下，你剛有沒有聽見什麼？」811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyjjQlmOod
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BSfGaHuLG
「嗯？什麼？」夏抱緊懷裡的腰持續衝刺，臉上的神情既迷離又色情，顯然是又聽不見。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTEW6V3j5p
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZa72uSCCWF
秋瞇了瞇眼，心想算了，就夾緊雙腿，繼續在夏的律動下扯著喉嚨嗯嗯啊啊。811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1s03aHTOS
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1U5RUVEf8e
Treat or trick，不給糖，就「搗」蛋！811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83bvFt4aut
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhaJYzZZga
（P.S. 被關五十年的美國鬼，觀念保守，用詞不政確，請見諒（艸）811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cFtCOke5K
後記：
此為噗浪幾位文友自辦的【原創文手交換寫同人】活動，這次我抽到的交換對象是歐巴龍，恰逢萬聖節，就來應個景啦XD
難得參加活動，真的是非常有趣的體驗，為此我還重看了一遍《美宅男夢工場》又作了很多筆記，結果最後都沒用上🤣
本來也想隱藏風格，來寫個憂鬱正經風，讓文友猜不到我是誰，但我想來想去，實在想不到切入點，就索性放飛啦XDDD
另外，抽到我的文友是君羊，寫的是《因罪溫存》的顧懷唷，喜歡顧醫師的歡迎點以下網址來看！
#猜猜我是誰 #原創文手交換寫同人 #喵芭閉關坑司機中: #因罪溫存 #賭博
811Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHDLsFFzYm
