「無論你如何糟蹋自己,他亦不會起死回生。倒不如好好活下去,別讓大家擔心。」母親痛心流淚,語重深長勸勉她堅強活下去。207Please respect copyright.PENANAAF1ebsSW5x
207Please respect copyright.PENANAzS4HupbKP7
「如果死去的是爸爸,你能夠若無其事好好活下去嗎?」她反問,因為她和母親的性格一模一樣。207Please respect copyright.PENANAL5OOViuDI9
207Please respect copyright.PENANAsmzPEDL1ao
母親理解,哀嘆,見她心意已決,沒再勸說。207Please respect copyright.PENANAbclDALBUO7
207Please respect copyright.PENANAK8Y3APRttA
她十日無眠。生理時鐘錯亂,頭暈,頭痛,作嘔。精神紊亂,抑鬱,躁狂,幻覺。207Please respect copyright.PENANAuA97tpJHDi
207Please respect copyright.PENANAtW1NNREtaE
丈夫遇害情景不斷重現眼前。207Please respect copyright.PENANAGYWYdQclXO
207Please respect copyright.PENANAMfvKkHSMMw
陸上巨獸突襲,揚起大把沙子模糊大家視線,飛擲幾片尖石無差別攻擊大家。親友四散逃命,只有被尖石傷及的幾個原地倒下。有的一命嗚呼,有的不省人事,有的與我丈夫一樣,在意識清醒的情況下被折斷四肢、被灌石入胃、被荊棘吊死。最後頸項不勝體內石子重量,身首分離……207Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5TcXBxW6K
207Please respect copyright.PENANAYYq6tZGlCb
我不停重覆經歷丈夫慘死情景。幻覺之中,我毫不察覺一切既成事實,絞盡腦汁想要救出丈夫。或是刺穿巨獸腳踝關節,或是衝前啄走巨獸眼睛,或是攻擊巨獸頸側動脈。可惜統統失敗,丈夫終究在我面前痛苦離世。207Please respect copyright.PENANA1ZWAz2EB0q
207Please respect copyright.PENANAt4wErYw3cO
偶爾頭腦清醒過來,意識到事實和真相,怒火只會燒得更旺盛。這些日子,我被大家反鎖房內。我明白,大家擔心我會去找巨獸報仇,而他們是對的——我時刻在心底盤算報仇之計。207Please respect copyright.PENANArxWbtwf9nT
207Please respect copyright.PENANAqheTYIDRmr
第一步,逃走。我趁機攻擊送來食物的母親,離開居所。鄰居發現狀甚癲狂的我,紛紛走避,沒敢攔路。我暢通無阻地來到湖邊,游離家園,前往丈夫遇襲地方。207Please respect copyright.PENANARHjhJe5I4k
207Please respect copyright.PENANAU8ajMZg4Za
第二步,埋伏。我長草密雜之處搭建一個簡陋的藏身所,等候巨獸到來。巨獸經常在此出沒,但少有大規模殘殺平民——牠們對湖裡的魚較有興趣。我見過巨獸捉魚。牠們不吃魚,多以玩弄心態對待魚的身心和生命。我偶爾從親友口中聽聞過湖中魚兒的慘況,不少因為受驚過度或是掙扎求生時傷重身亡。那時我隔岸觀火,誰料如今身受其害。207Please respect copyright.PENANAw2afYaMTku
207Please respect copyright.PENANATLLEKbkwmg
埋伏是一個漫長的痛苦過程。需要時刻保持隱匿狀態,但我時而失常,深陷幻覺之中。我提醒自己,眼前景物盡是假象,除非……207Please respect copyright.PENANA1Y6RDmKoUe
207Please respect copyright.PENANAbdkmTPPhQa
金睛火眼。207Please respect copyright.PENANA0c7egNXqaG
207Please respect copyright.PENANAqTnhHyf58e
藍天白雲,和煦日照,綠草如茵,清澈湖水。原本是世外桃源的美麗地方,在我眼裡是無間地獄。巨獸時有經過,或老或壯或嫩,卻不是我的報仇對象。日轉星移,那可惡的傢伙尚未現身。我啄食剛捉來的魚兒,血腥味道使我在現實與虛幻之間徘徊不定。207Please respect copyright.PENANAjFSm4HQLe4
207Please respect copyright.PENANAEYM6CphsyG
魚兒是真是假?長草是真是假?迎面而來的巨獸是真是假?捉住我的巨獸大手是真是假?207Please respect copyright.PENANAu6qPxjdt22
207Please respect copyright.PENANAEUaZIPXmNb
「看!我又捉到一隻雀!我在書本上見過圖片,這是鴛鴦的『鴦』!」一隻稚嫩的巨獸提起我雙翼,興奮向同伴炫耀。207Please respect copyright.PENANAq5zbuBG8a2
207Please respect copyright.PENANAdWb9YjxMIM
這氣味!是牠!每隻動物都有獨一無二的體味,我肯定這就是我要找的巨獸!207Please respect copyright.PENANAI0RLmtmUmL
207Please respect copyright.PENANAPmWIAOERQd
怒火攻心。我轉頭狠狠咬斷牠手指。牠痛極把我往大樹使勁擲去。我連忙拍翼高飛,看清地面情況後俯身衝前啄走巨獸一隻眼睛。牠的同伴被嚇得不輕,逕自跑走。正合我意。再一個俯衝,巨獸失去了另一隻眼睛。我接連來回,在牠身上各個位置啄出不少血洞。牠的活動能力被削弱,將近無力反抗或逃跑。我準備好作出再後一擊——攻擊牠的頸側動脈。207Please respect copyright.PENANAkrWZI3YUas
207Please respect copyright.PENANAYqKhnHlxbv
呯——207Please respect copyright.PENANAuxEUrwuUKy
207Please respect copyright.PENANAU36mKSagRG
不明東西從樹後飛射穿過我身體。我應聲墜地,血流如注。207Please respect copyright.PENANA4UtCGEbogj
207Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5B6xcREum
兩隻強壯巨獸從樹後跑出,經過我身邊,直奔向年幼巨獸。207Please respect copyright.PENANAY7tgZdPpZu
207Please respect copyright.PENANAmF7k6q9fTD
「不用怕!爸媽在!千萬不要閉眼!」牠倆強忍淚水,連聲安慰,抱著小巨獸跑走。207Please respect copyright.PENANAMcvYlqbW9l
207Please respect copyright.PENANAmGsJy0Awol
藍天白雲,和煦日照,綠草如茵,清澈湖水。在這原本是世外桃源的美麗地方,我驀地憶起父母。如果他們看見我奄奄一息,肯定會同樣悲傷。207Please respect copyright.PENANA4HCvPXvzvx
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但我不後悔。207Please respect copyright.PENANAYPgsrBTy7S
*卯:有茂盛之意,因此亦指草木覆蓋地面的狀態。207Please respect copyright.PENANAcg1JFAjHnT
*此篇將會收於短篇小說合集《雜念集》
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