很久很久沒有寫文章了。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPndJnMPjg
就像之前短篇的敘事，並非是美好而溫馨的。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEgAnegysY
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『世界上最遙遠的距離』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXg6GrA7Qu
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所以我看著你對著別人露出，那不再屬於我的笑容。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2jD4A6dH0
在你身後的我咬唇，轉身離開了那裡。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzELkK1C4Lr
不能後悔。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLH1xIQJomR
不能怨恨。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBKEsgGcpz
不能再想。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaHJ0WVBR9
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因為。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqVFEyn0eZ
是我先推開了你給予我的擁抱。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TVRvjPnq3
拒絕了你對我的情感。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWlX2iEBqv
忽視了你眼底的情慾。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5LA1gPjun
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因此。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6W2f6BZgaP
我怎麼能哭泣。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfb3Q07jOVO
我怎麼能悔恨。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6MiGxuto7
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因為是我自己造成這一切的啊。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfi1nd9DZxt
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「明明做那樣選擇的是自己，可為什麼還是感到了悔恨。」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoFoPG4hj7
「拒絕了你之後才愛上你。」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnAStkUQOa
「這樣的我令人厭惡。」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Qb49teunp
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*60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkB0fBecVyO
錯過與放棄。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIR8t7GXc26
於是悔恨交織。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQfoGsHLMq
如果雙方都互相喜歡，但在不對的時間說了同樣的話，那麼結局終究也只是失去。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnqcblbSu9
但造成這種局面的卻是自己。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85BBWT4hEe
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『If……』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YROHQGtpq
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基爾伯特忽然頓住，熱燙的淚液毫無預警的自他頰面滑下，五臟六腑彷彿抽離血液似的，壓迫他喉嚨，使他急促地呼吸著。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJwPcHlnZY
半晌，在這沒有任何人存在的家中，他漸漸地停止了哭泣。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLdU98ETNs
望著淌滿自己體液的手，基爾伯特緩緩勾起一抹笑，眼裡模糊成晶亮的光景，閃爍著鑽石色彩。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdcsYwZjTc
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如果任何淚水都是有理由的話。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYUUaQTRgK
那麼，基爾伯特兀自忖思，他這種毫無緣由乍然傾瀉的疼痛，又代表著什麼。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJa7TFM8ue
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*60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPUa5JRxAW
寫完後，友人看完之後畫了r18的圖........為什麼會是這種感想呢？（苦笑60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcFF4S5p66
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『給十年後未來的你』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CqNI02DOJ
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『WEST！我們到樹下埋寶藏吧！』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwFjmvYqng
活在記憶中地嗓音依然清晰如昨。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYHFPIv1Jq
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那時才剛結束分裂局面，國內一切都不穩固，有天兄長忽然很開心的拉著他手徑往外衝，手裡還拿著一罐玻璃瓶，透明的瓶子可見折半的白紙。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgFM65M9dS
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IwZ1yRwUW
『你要記得十年之後再打開喔。』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CLpt5sAGX
那天午後的天氣十分的溫暖，沐浴在彷佛受神祝福的光輝下，由於掘土而整張臉髒呼呼的兄長掛著笑容，一邊叮囑著他。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNWVILz4RY
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那時他究竟回答了些什麼呢……？60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXiowVTUP0
至今回想卻支離破碎。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8es5RVc7w
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唯一記得的是在那一場日光中，他眼淚似乎就要因為日光而融化出眼眶的疼痛。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJ2jScUuEU
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如果存在的奇跡是真的存在的話。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2F7I9PtH5
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那麼，那一天之後就是盡頭了吧。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3LcQfpcG3
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早就該死亡了。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX60q0O0pCM
早就該離開了。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGHDj3KXMl
早就……60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEC6GApmpD
早就什麼也無法碰觸了……60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZ9QU71bO0
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ941euftma6
重逢後的每一天清晨醒來看見兄長安然無恙的睡躺在他身旁時都是奇跡。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGn0qqwOV4f
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他們能夠的相處的時間那麼少，少到讓他後悔莫及。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0SBHMILE5
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為什麼不早這樣做呢……60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJjtAf6OrR
為什麼不能忍耐呢……60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwGvscrH65
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一個失去人民與國土的國家，究竟能走到什麼地步……60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnqPJimm3s
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『不要哭。』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWl1i7dLi6K
最後，兄長只是這麼說。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOAtQsvdzc
在風雪漸大的夜裡，在背後閃耀著五顏六色的煙花中這般輕喃。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVtRkHZoET
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那之後他仍舊過著一樣的日子。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHKsoYhnuB
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只是再也沒有人在家裡等他，再也沒有人在耳邊吵鬧。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMfqCZrR79
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到底過了多久呢？60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQnPBSuDwp
也許久到他連幾年都不記得了吧。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThKQoIGmgO
他總是覺得兄長還存在在任何地方，只是他找不到罷了。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVbHHZ89Rc
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於是忽然那麼一天他想起那一個寶物。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwbBxuD4Rs
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當時候的他寫了給未來的信件，那麼兄長一定也寫了什麼吧……60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tFRekijdB
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他拼命的挖土。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2q2lKLUKF
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不過幾分，鐵制的蓋子便從泥裡翻出。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLqHK3BMrc
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他費力的扭轉生銹的圓蓋，然後拿出放在裡面的信件。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtSU8qiWTS
他第一個就翻開了兄長的信件，想看看兄長寫了什麼，卻愕然的啞口。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCESq2VCAxr
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那是一面白紙。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SriAh2r9w
由於在土裡待著，染上了土黃的 斑點。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbckjSiCMJ
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上頭甚麼也沒有寫。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDdvzHf8MJ
空白的，就像不曾有筆跡存在過。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0X8ZYOBKA
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『不要哭。』腦裡不斷地迴響著兄長的聲音。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvURyjfNs5
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他臉上卻佈滿了淚痕。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZs43IEc8N
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*********60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqTf0dzgfU
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看新聞有感。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsS8KkoBbI1
新聞描述的非常哀傷，但我卻想到會不會是因為埋的人早就知道自己不存於世所以什麼也不寫，因為已經沒有未來了。所以寫甚麼都只是惘然。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxG9i4Eo2SZ
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「關於雪的聯想」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnvNRDkP64
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關於雪的記憶，充滿著童話與火爐，天冷時的熱飲，依偎在你懷裡聽著你美好的聲音。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49TqmWgs8B
那時總是小，張著眼只注視得到你，伸出手也只能觸碰到你滿佈繭的掌。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDS7EyIXopu
乾澀的，卻熱和著。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EQogqHDBb
『你聽』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSQAKX6lse
你抱著我幼小的身軀，指腹抹過窗戶。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEN325sTJdx
『雪聲落下來時候，是像這樣，一閃一閃的響著喔』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJk8QvuHM0f
室內的火材劈啪地冒出零星火花。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xVXmbK6OW
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『踏雪無聲』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtFZwQBYwx
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乍然寂靜無聲。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWUrmllbtR
路德維希倏地轉身，一片銀白雪亮，折射著夜裡的月色，令人刺目。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8A2PqKiwP6
他張大眼，張口不能言。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7eAV6zbq4
方才和他說話的兄長消失的無影無蹤，明明還有餘溫的聲音，卻消失了，而在他身後蜿蜒的只有他一個人的足跡。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnd8eOyHaLa
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「遙遠的童話故事」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTPvYoo9DJ
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第一次看完索多瑪的120天的那陣子，只要他每天一想起片段都會忍不住嘔吐，即使他燒了書也無法竭止嘔出穢物的反胃。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRq98X3b3Y
現在他已經想不起故事，彷彿刻意消除痕跡似的，除了殘留在口腔裡膽汁的回憶之外，他腦中裡沒有任何關於故事的字句。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoarcqxmlS
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可即使一切什麼也不記得，但那種深深地醜陋情感卻扎根在他身體各位，完全無法擺脫。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpr7q9YxcrW
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『請幸福的……』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetLoXCHL0Y
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如果那一天到來，不要挽留我。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxxm3Kbjtb
請你自由的、幸福的跟另外一個人生活下去吧。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1S1D23pn36
我會在那裏望著你，微笑的，流淚的。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGdsz9XFvT
因為我從來就沒有資格擁有你，我只是自我滿足的活在自己認為的幸福時光裡罷了。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yIgo0b7ip
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奢望什麼的也只是虛幻。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMfGz8zJ55
我無法相信話語的真實。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HVTy5QCpy
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我知道，你愛我。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQNS5FLMTh
可是「我愛你」，這是親人間也會說的話。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOEgVdsdag
我當然也從你口裡聽到。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYxrF69OxO
在早上醒來時給我的早安吻，在下午你歸來的玄關門口的吻，在夜裡沉睡前的晚安吻。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsIXZC5dFW
你總是會說：「我愛你。」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPK2nCBMYk6
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwGI7tpWLZ
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是的。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oYmBXbo9T
你是愛我的，可是你不是愛我的。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmRbi1aCBq
那並非是我自己誤解。我總是看著你，總是微笑的看著，總是嬉鬧的看著你，總是在戰爭裡看著你。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2kvJvtX7r
我無時不刻的看著你。所以很清楚，比你自己還清楚你自己。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvD9wj4btw
我們之間緊緊聯繫的，不過是名為親情的愛情。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZvB6KB37Q
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『後日談』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxDUd5EkAi
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「喜歡你喔」他這麼說。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8jb4F9nzD
他不著痕跡的回望，面前的兄長哼著歌。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPXWwXAulW
然後他又重複了一次。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0hdYxhQf8
「嗯」即使那是沒有任何感情、單調的話語，只是重複音節發生振動的合成。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBK7aJG33I
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDqdmzoOaU
喜歡你喔，所以不會愛你喔。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTp4zp0p3lH
基爾伯特哼著不成調的小曲，臉上滿是笑意。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9jhGy1b2p
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5nxhZMQSo
不知道什麼時候發現到的，可是已經為時已晚，那時兄長早就笑容滿面的將他從愛情裡排拒開。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ663Yv06qd2
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「十年」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwf57xH8kdQ
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有一天他從廣播聽見一首來自東方國度的歌，淳厚的男歌手看似平淡的唱著那歌詞。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaQ0wI48dc
曲終時候，他忽然淚流滿面。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsexsWmEcM
就在他幾乎無法反應的片刻。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfIdDxEogZ
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF47ZY3QIHA
熱辣的液體不斷從體內湧出，喉嚨彷彿被壓抑著，嘶啞不成調。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ017vTLtNf6
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因為太感同身受了。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDva6AsGV6
他和路德分開的時間以人類而言是那麼久，自然，有很多事情已經不像他記憶那樣的美好。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡreIK2k5ciM
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJrdgR1V29
幾十年前他們是兄弟是親人，所以能夠牽手，能夠擁抱，能夠親吻。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOmC3OrI1n
現在，他們仍然是親人、兄弟，可以牽手、擁抱，但卻也沒有親吻過彼此。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiX7eZVKM83
就像是緊守著什麼界線，彼此誰也沒有越過的意思。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DDq9ieyGB
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0MSMCrkTu
只是一廂情願的愛戀罷了。基爾伯特淺笑地望著窗外那一片青空。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeQDt1sF9N
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1IGCxaQmQ
那些在彼此生命裡空白的日子，他就像是戀愛的人一樣，一直渴望著見到他，一直在被剝削的勞力中自我安慰，一直、一直維持著自己的意志，在配合可笑的服從中，盡力維持著自己的意識，也許是曉得一旦遺忘，他就再也不可能回到路德身邊的緣故。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINfgzwfklH
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但像這種自以為是的愛情，怎麼可能會得到相等的回報？60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsyTDFBxQw
他似乎想的太過美好了，就像那道牆破碎以後，就認為一切都可以海闊天空，哪知道，無論在哪都沒有差。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhxyZGpeyE
他始終是，一個人。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcA8A95Dexl
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfAis2UVlD
他卻天真以為，能夠讓對方愛上自己。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmE4wrRGTow
明明他們之間除了兄弟的親情之外，什麼也不剩。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGCcmVcXgR
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『 』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTds1R2ScmT
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他決定要去旅行。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0M8KoVMuvI
趁著那一天弟弟加班的日子，他簡單收拾了行李，和家裏養著的狗一一道別之後，他關上家門，最後看了一眼他一定不會再開啟的門，而後邁步往街上走去。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iMzdXQj0D
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDa1q3SoyWI
路德也許會生氣吧。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ980NCZedgf
基爾伯特悠閒地走在路邊，一邊淡淡想著。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw70DPP0TE0
不過，他不會解釋的，也不會後悔的。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhK6br2mvR2
哼著不知打哪學會的曲調，午後的陽光撒在他背上，熠熠生輝。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCTK36Ehiq
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0aCsWzD3g
路德維希一如往常因為加班的緣故晚到了家。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vi6kQ3SEP
在還沒打開家門口的時候，他還在想要怎麼跟兄長解釋，然後一開門入眼的卻是一整片黑暗。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjjfnkLtvv
他思緒有些混雜的楞在家門口，半晌無法言語。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DomJX18BY
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家裏養著的三隻狗衝上前趴住他。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwk6Ir5Dtd4
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaYfkqgQPd
基爾伯特的身影幾乎消失。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ594xiannXt
那之後他走遍了住家周圍，甚至在後面幾天不斷搜尋著，用網路、用人力，但是彷彿電腦裡的資料被消除後的乾淨，到處都找不到他的兄長，雖然偶而會接獲零星的消息說在哪有誰曾見過他的行蹤，他也曾前往該地，但一切一切卻像是被嘲笑一樣的徒勞無功。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkwcqZQKC0
他感到十分焦躁，甚至湧上不安的思緒。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nebE5lHUm
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「你有見過這個男人嗎？」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTSNsRCWNE
他在街上隨意攔截了某位路人，並從懷裡掏出那張因為過於頻繁使用充滿皺摺的相片問著對方。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Tsa6ijGSJ
搖搖頭，被他攔下的人表示從未見過。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYs7rb0YPX
「……謝謝。不好意思，打擾您的時間了。」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1OfY0Uo4h
也許是疑惑，離開前那路人還頻頻回望他幾眼，大約是在想這人是怪人嘛，尋人這事不是要找警察解決的嗎。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWVOMl5V4s
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他收起相片，忖思。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG67lNMJrUt
已經找了這麼多年，從那天兄長消失在家中開始，他就拿著這張很久前兄長拍攝下的個人照，在他放假時候到各個地點去尋找。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4ig4fXnfN
但是，得到的答案總是千篇一律，他們從未見過他。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPyBA4iR18
伊莉莎白跟羅德里赫也勸過他該放棄了，因為死心總比冀望那幾乎不存在的希望來的好。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QOkKexDt4
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也許是該放棄的時候了。ns216.73.216.0da2
