71Please respect copyright.PENANAqobyIc5Vc4
71Please respect copyright.PENANAzUtZzwKzos
71Please respect copyright.PENANAprwYLXWlDK
0171Please respect copyright.PENANAJayrPUG7uv
71Please respect copyright.PENANA58EFZREXoj
71Please respect copyright.PENANASOuqWaGD1H
71Please respect copyright.PENANAPrFm35Z2gD
赤羽業一如往常的沖泡咖啡加奶精加糖,他慣於在這時候放空腦袋休息,即便是在這時候,他依然如此。71Please respect copyright.PENANAzwX9vsw1wh
71Please respect copyright.PENANAKdc2IZ3Zym
攪拌咖啡時他看見自己的倒影迴轉在波紋中,意外的竟可以清晰反射出他面部的表情,是一個相當平靜的情緒,他本以為自己會是一副靜靜發著怒火的神情,然而,事實並非如此。71Please respect copyright.PENANAVhewSGtizl
71Please respect copyright.PENANAkCS4LrkqhU
和表情同樣,他的內心此刻也靜謐的像火種熄滅似的,只有一縷青煙騰空散去。71Please respect copyright.PENANAKjZRBq3XFz
71Please respect copyright.PENANAQDWhHs1MwO
他不禁想,自己比起中學時候確實是成熟了些——尤其在看到娛樂版頭條醒目的標語之後,還能做些和普通日常無異的行為,而不是在那裡懊惱與憤恨——自己單戀了十幾年的人和當紅女明星傳出緋聞,作為證據,報導還放上兩人前往某溫泉旅館時的同遊照片。71Please respect copyright.PENANAR0x5IsUFXN
71Please respect copyright.PENANAWIUK4QBJI8
71Please respect copyright.PENANAlDaMobxXBM
71Please respect copyright.PENANAh0y84IHVdd
赤羽業啜飲著咖啡醒腦,明天他有一場重要的議會質詢,為了這場質詢,他能掌握的資料都已經準備妥當,務必成功達陣。71Please respect copyright.PENANAApbCuidyJr
71Please respect copyright.PENANAwPN65aUx8K
在迅速打著資料重點時,赤羽業想起以前看過的動畫,裡面一句台詞就是在說明成熟與不成熟的差異,成熟的人接受事實不再反抗,不成熟的人則繼續頑強抵抗。71Please respect copyright.PENANAPVu68BHg63
71Please respect copyright.PENANAh6VzzbM1kz
若然是以前的自己,肯定是會選擇反抗吧,然而自己並沒有選擇那樣幼稚的作法,大概就是成熟。71Please respect copyright.PENANA6oK50aO8WC
71Please respect copyright.PENANAS1Koji2iA1
71Please respect copyright.PENANAgLW9eUsjnJ
71Please respect copyright.PENANAYsLApw7u6a
身後傳來同事們閱讀報紙之後的各種驚呼,他聞所未聞,繼續著自己的工作。71Please respect copyright.PENANAF3BVtOuSGT
71Please respect copyright.PENANAoEeNoEgcrZ
71Please respect copyright.PENANAHLdQtEKIZo
71Please respect copyright.PENANA2o2RI3rJP0
0271Please respect copyright.PENANAnTBglxgRJO
71Please respect copyright.PENANAHATLw6U0EM
71Please respect copyright.PENANAtjvuFqVWe5
71Please respect copyright.PENANAq2Q6pteybd
過了二十五歲之後,除了工作,赤羽業經常回想的就是一些有關於潮田渚的相處片段。71Please respect copyright.PENANAURPmPxuXmg
71Please respect copyright.PENANAVpuPYxerad
71Please respect copyright.PENANAXm2qXGL1o8
71Please respect copyright.PENANAZEDhomeeLK
最初只是一個留著長髮、綁著馬尾、笑起來有些虛幻的少年,放眼望去很容易在眾人中淹沒的稀薄存在感,卻因那時的偶然,令他目光全然留在他身上。71Please respect copyright.PENANAItKZ6R1fRU
71Please respect copyright.PENANA5GEXO7gczi
赤羽業從來沒有對潮田渚說過,他對他最初的印象來自於某個放學後的黃昏教室,當時他出了校門憶起遺漏了作業本,便趕緊回教室欲拿取,剛好教室大門尚未關上,他正要踏入之時卻被眼前景緻停住腳步——逢魔時刻的色彩渲染整間教室,在他目光所及之處的人,綁著馬尾,藍色髮絲裡滲透著金黃色,背對著他。71Please respect copyright.PENANAvpjyOtk0H4
71Please respect copyright.PENANA05kkfv6Wa8
彷彿愛麗絲的兔子洞,誘惑著好奇的孩子一探究竟。71Please respect copyright.PENANAXDlVZMy5gl
71Please respect copyright.PENANAQMeunTZrEH
日後,他經常回想的就是那樣的場景,靜謐的時刻裡,看著遠方夕陽沈落的少年。71Please respect copyright.PENANADKqVDIWhN2
71Please respect copyright.PENANAYfVqiEwrdi
假如那時候,更靠近些,或許便能得知少年那時在思考的事情了吧。 71Please respect copyright.PENANAXZKMGzTYMZ
71Please respect copyright.PENANAHb0h8EPDMX
赤羽業不只一次地這麼揣想。71Please respect copyright.PENANATxJCFPBmHl
71Please respect copyright.PENANAhzuswtDRES
更靠近些,也就更能了解少年了,或者,讓少年想靠近自己,這份從那時便持續的單戀或許就能劃下結果——無論是否如願,至少不用懷抱揣想,一驚一顫地。71Please respect copyright.PENANAEmx35QuHj6
71Please respect copyright.PENANAiHEOLQ3Wkd
71Please respect copyright.PENANA8mxlAxFNoq
71Please respect copyright.PENANAhaUW7bUC6s
0371Please respect copyright.PENANAt0cyQGnNSW
71Please respect copyright.PENANAPhmb57DnDx
71Please respect copyright.PENANAOD2eFXPdHi
71Please respect copyright.PENANALMROr8eSmi
結束了一整天的工作,赤羽業走出辦公室時已滿天星斗。71Please respect copyright.PENANAaoPrUHrkb6
71Please respect copyright.PENANATJBfq78Vc8
冷咧的風吹來,寒的讓人哆嗦,迎風而行的他卻忽然笑了,抑不可止的笑了,剝落了從早上就武裝的情緒笑了。71Please respect copyright.PENANANYAkM8lnY1
71Please respect copyright.PENANAzs9kVRlbwu
隨著緊繃情緒忽然的潰堤,他感覺到溫熱的液體從自己的臉龐滑落。71Please respect copyright.PENANAcuRuwDfI63
71Please respect copyright.PENANAIaijO37Z7J
他想自己的確是很難受,不然一向不輕易落淚的他怎會突然無法阻止地不斷掉淚,弔詭是自己臉上還是一副笑容,而他知道自己是真心地露出笑容的。71Please respect copyright.PENANAgo57VvArfK
71Please respect copyright.PENANA0twpmf8Hgt
71Please respect copyright.PENANAoSdYgcdDUz
71Please respect copyright.PENANATJb0EckQEj
原來,再怎麼了解自己,終究還是會有無法理解的地方——就像小說角色因各種情緒的混雜那樣,他又笑又哭。71Please respect copyright.PENANArn8JUgfTOT
71Please respect copyright.PENANAlGf5tBwmRe
而他以為自己不會。71Please respect copyright.PENANAeaDDAWwQLP
71Please respect copyright.PENANAUZEmcZ3dql
他本來以為自己不會的。71Please respect copyright.PENANAcoFDbzhLus
71Please respect copyright.PENANAfplIYOOGDH
71Please respect copyright.PENANAPWKqpnwldK
71Please respect copyright.PENANANrtO3QM4ut
不過就是喜歡的人似乎有了喜歡的對象,而那個對象偏偏不是自己罷了,沒什麼大不了的。71Please respect copyright.PENANAi3Vs7lHJLr
71Please respect copyright.PENANAmbP8vTV2cy
沒什麼大不了的,不是嗎?71Please respect copyright.PENANAirJNAWPkca
71Please respect copyright.PENANAerRrP95Wf1
不是嗎?71Please respect copyright.PENANAaedOhlvcD5
71Please respect copyright.PENANAuEpm70GQXV
71Please respect copyright.PENANAiebnHoRRSB
71Please respect copyright.PENANAQk28S3B6yc
0471Please respect copyright.PENANAEhYU0CAWlV
71Please respect copyright.PENANAHCAgBwCdQg
71Please respect copyright.PENANARCRqI24ZTq
71Please respect copyright.PENANARPukHPT13i
赤羽業中學之後常常會夢到潮田渚。71Please respect copyright.PENANAKtdUEXI3uA
71Please respect copyright.PENANAZqCYtoWcmk
綁著馬尾的他,升上中學三年級之後的他,留著短髮的他。71Please respect copyright.PENANAnAbEKDFhuR
71Please respect copyright.PENANA7O8ZEXk09Y
無論哪一個他,只要看到他,潮田渚都會露出笑容往他而來,並說著美妙的話語,是只能在夢裡聽見的情話。71Please respect copyright.PENANA9nTZW6yE7e
71Please respect copyright.PENANAe31gJ9iIAE
71Please respect copyright.PENANAS8EUjdL9Xc
71Please respect copyright.PENANAZG2dUS71UJ
所以,在住家周圍見到早上才在報紙裡看到的人出現的時候,赤羽業恍惚還以為自己疲累到走著睡著了——尤其,對方還一臉笑容的往自己走過來時,簡直重現了夢境場景。71Please respect copyright.PENANAkK7i9RdkPE
71Please respect copyright.PENANAzplpaULoaU
71Please respect copyright.PENANAKHujDDfE9Q
71Please respect copyright.PENANA0v03OSM3Dq
「業,你今天好晚回來啊。」71Please respect copyright.PENANAY9gayxdvGs
71Please respect copyright.PENANAJa6jUiEbUY
雖然擺著一張笑容,然而赤羽業敏銳感覺到那笑顏下潛藏著的疲憊。71Please respect copyright.PENANAnc8mNZHE06
71Please respect copyright.PENANAZcY62BrM5B
啊啊,是這麼回事嗎?71Please respect copyright.PENANA1r9XnI0WGI
71Please respect copyright.PENANAsLOCVT9Loc
難得的,赤羽業對自己洞悉人性這一點感到厭惡。71Please respect copyright.PENANAekYc8aQLFn
71Please respect copyright.PENANArs16xkWiNl
「明天有重要的質詢,所以剛剛還在處理。」他頓了頓,並沒想戳破什麼地裝傻「渚,這麼晚了,你怎麼會來呢?」71Please respect copyright.PENANAAs2EOQ0fyK
71Please respect copyright.PENANAJVLJ9N1Uai
「……原來,業沒有看到報紙嗎?」不知道是放心還是懊惱,潮田渚呼了口氣「今天我下班回家時,發現家裡附近躲著好幾個記者,大概是想來打聽些事情吧」言至此,赤羽業難得見到潮田渚露出苦笑「而我的父母貌似也被騷擾了,便傳簡訊讓我今天別回家去別處躲著,等過個幾天就會沒事了。」71Please respect copyright.PENANAAXNW4WlukN
71Please respect copyright.PENANAIbTBw3vzjt
71Please respect copyright.PENANAdOfrfGLSCC
71Please respect copyright.PENANAVFd20ZIuSm
潮田渚的言詞閃爍,大概是有些顧慮吧。71Please respect copyright.PENANAXDbyRAE7me
71Please respect copyright.PENANALa0RhZODTv
他並沒有興致去讓自己受傷,因此潮田渚言詞隱蔽的那些內容,儘管他猜得出來,他也不想直接聽到當事人直接說出。71Please respect copyright.PENANAGpRHk05BUt
71Please respect copyright.PENANAMM9OScHR5M
71Please respect copyright.PENANAx5K9SylbVD
71Please respect copyright.PENANAuco9f3M7rR
「所以,你想在我這裡待個幾天,是這樣的意思嗎?」他直接點出結論。確實自己之前經常拖著潮田渚灌酒,家裡是有一些渚的換洗衣物跟被子。要是他是渚也會選擇一樣的事情,一來不用花錢住在酒店裡,二來也比較方便。71Please respect copyright.PENANASGdlGNqeku
71Please respect copyright.PENANA9U455cwY3Z
「對,畢竟,我沒有其他可以拜託的人了。」71Please respect copyright.PENANAAKaqOZYbvy
71Please respect copyright.PENANA3Dkpbl8tGd
赤羽業聽了之後直覺渚在說謊,然而卻找不出任何感覺奇怪的地方。71Please respect copyright.PENANAZhaixXh7l4
71Please respect copyright.PENANAdMgkfDcXJn
要論交情,自己的確是可以勝任的,然而說找不到人可以拜託?E班的感情在共經患難之後,是非常堅實的,除了自己之外,渚還有很多人可以拜託,想必他們也會十分樂意的(當然,肯定包含看戲的成份)。71Please respect copyright.PENANAwkflCZtHem
71Please respect copyright.PENANAKjbt5slFNn
只是,渚的為難似乎也是真的,他似乎是真的找不到其他可以拜託的人——是以,才會沒有任何告知,就跑來他家外面等他,而他甚至不知道他會幾點回來地在寒風中等著。71Please respect copyright.PENANAM76QVzh4Rs
71Please respect copyright.PENANAoWsbrd5bcd
71Please respect copyright.PENANAFUqhys5uED
71Please respect copyright.PENANAnghiEahrkH
「我知道了,你就在我這裡躲個幾天吧。」71Please respect copyright.PENANA1L4YyskoZm
71Please respect copyright.PENANAYYg3lM6uSj
71Please respect copyright.PENANAK3KDq5DfAb
71Please respect copyright.PENANApFMPR2Woij
赤羽業有時會想,假如記憶可以回放,那麼潮田渚在他應允之後的那個畫面,他肯定會重溫數次——潮田渚喜出望外地抱住他,透過衣服傳來的溫熱,他曉得渚十分高興,雖然他還感覺到更深層次的欣喜,而那個欣喜在之後才能明白。71Please respect copyright.PENANA9cVYnAYMqc
71Please respect copyright.PENANAAD4gP0Enwy
71Please respect copyright.PENANAse5ZcuR7lB
71Please respect copyright.PENANAAaeAYm9NDw
當時的他僅僅是以為渚對於他讓他躲在他家裡這件事情感謝而已,直到後來發現誤會一場,他聽見和夢裡一樣的話語時,他才明白那時感覺到的謊言與欣喜的意義。71Please respect copyright.PENANAZ7dRyPyZZ8
71Please respect copyright.PENANA9xhVSYUfPp
71Please respect copyright.PENANAbxGv5FFdRw
71Please respect copyright.PENANA4vDXZ0pHq3
71Please respect copyright.PENANAAxkwxoWk5M
71Please respect copyright.PENANAfxEA6Wh4E7
71Please respect copyright.PENANArt6V6AOPnC
71Please respect copyright.PENANAOUZAMpg2sT
71Please respect copyright.PENANAxG9AB4nL2K
71Please respect copyright.PENANAS92bw9jmap
71Please respect copyright.PENANADCRu7NNpae
71Please respect copyright.PENANAkssjL84TbP
71Please respect copyright.PENANAnRvfEJwjJb
71Please respect copyright.PENANA7SDMtKwN37
71Please respect copyright.PENANAD8izaO3Vbn
71Please respect copyright.PENANA8WCGxPaYhw
71Please respect copyright.PENANA0w91zdIMt1
71Please respect copyright.PENANAklfkqwAm3t
71Please respect copyright.PENANALqUvvRQe2z
71Please respect copyright.PENANAwiyDfSLg6y
71Please respect copyright.PENANAqltBbAymEf
71Please respect copyright.PENANAjjz2Sjp8vs
71Please respect copyright.PENANAemx4DY3PcR
71Please respect copyright.PENANAyljYCHZaKh
71Please respect copyright.PENANAEIFofXs5Tb
71Please respect copyright.PENANAEnr3adzsF7
71Please respect copyright.PENANABnvJHY7Aob
71Please respect copyright.PENANAMyRVyz5S9Y
***71Please respect copyright.PENANA8SqYuFWzTQ
71Please respect copyright.PENANAMxdzTx0aAH
71Please respect copyright.PENANA9qaTKkspmA
71Please respect copyright.PENANA3fQLRxzTTD
「二十五歲時,赤羽業看見了自己單戀的人出現在報紙的版面上,那是一個和女明星緋聞的版面。從十三歲和少年相遇的時候,他這一份單戀就開始了。直到年老,他從來也沒說出口。沒有人知道的戀情不存在,所以他只是陪在潮田渚的身邊,他陪了多久,這份單戀就多久。六十五歲時,赤羽業還是陪在喜歡的人身邊。直到老死前,他都沒有說出口。」71Please respect copyright.PENANAExkYSay0HL
71Please respect copyright.PENANAjJNv3HaXTN
以上是我寫文的最初動機與結構。以業的角度出發的單戀,只是,業對於這份戀情並沒有想放手一搏,以致於他和渚的關係始終在非常奇妙的情況。原設定中的渚也並沒有結婚,從業的角度無法知道渚的內心,所以並不能明白渚不結婚的原因。71Please respect copyright.PENANARGgStkEA8Q
71Please respect copyright.PENANA9CkIklVXy6
不過寫文寫著就會出現慣性,所以最後還是回到不太遺憾的層面。71Please respect copyright.PENANAgKAQSMszN0
71Please respect copyright.PENANAPtj0TSfNjU
以前跟徘徊討論過,對於業渚,業必須處於主動才能得到好結果,假如兩個都沒有意識到,儘管遺憾但也不太虐,然而一方清醒一方迴避,那就有趣了。71Please respect copyright.PENANA0eCBUdzCmp
71Please respect copyright.PENANAvGDHcJCXJj
這文章大概有涉及到這一層面的討論。71Please respect copyright.PENANA9t70JdrJ2Y
71Please respect copyright.PENANAhKl33aw6VW
謝謝觀賞與指教!ns216.73.216.0da2