隨手小文 - 浮雲

記憶中，在我8歲時，我記得我曾仰頭望著娘，問著。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qFJRoZixA
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「娘，為什麼如夢的名字叫如夢？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrdRUwntC2
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娘那時打了我一巴掌，怒氣沖沖的說：69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpoQmIXJfo
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「因為妳就跟我那下賤的姐姐長得一模一樣！就像似夢姐姐的分身一般，看見妳就有氣！怎麼不去死阿妳！」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBzEfRiok8
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眼前的事物變得有點模糊，好像有溫熱的液體從眼眶中溢出，我伸手摸了摸，是水。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxfUoWCh8y
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「啊...對不起...如夢...」見我眼睛出水，娘像是回過神般的一臉愧疚的抱住了我，輕撫著我的頭。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPjXpPkph1
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「如夢...妳真的太像似夢姐姐了...若不是妳不會笑...若不是妳這麼不吵不鬧、這麼乖巧...我真的會把你誤認成我最愛也最恨的似夢姐姐...」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvekF80DU4O
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娘那時把我抱得很緊，全身顫抖著。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRcKlZ6BjZ
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我知道，似夢姑姑對娘來講是很重要的存在，可是似夢姑姑被爹給強了、懷孕並生下一子夭折之後就離開了這個家，再也找不到。爹因為似夢姑姑的離開變得很暴躁兇殘，對娘很壞，卻對我很好很疼愛。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhaLXJ7k7d
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晚上，我躲在房間裡，望著鏡子中映出的臉，再比對手中似夢姑姑的相片，同樣的紅眼睛、灰藍髮和面孔，為一不同的是相片中的似夢姑姑總是漾著美麗的笑容。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNsR8Nidg3
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我輕撫著臉頰，我知道眼睛出水的情況叫做「哭」，嘴角上揚叫做「笑」。大人們總嘆息的說著，似夢姑姑是個會哭會笑，擁有很多情緒的女子，為什麼我卻不見情緒。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEU32aqd7h
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我輕勾嘴角，唇角微微揚起了些角度，淡淡的、看不出來的微笑。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewTGag9xjN
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大人們說：笑是因為感到歡喜而笑的，哭則會因為悲傷或喜悅而哭。但...我會笑，卻不懂歡喜。我會哭，卻不明白什麼叫悲傷或喜悅。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEP4g0tU00U
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「似夢...！」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwS4qDEzxwu
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突然，爹走進房間，醉醺醺、搖搖晃晃的望著我笑。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9MPVqlXp1
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「似夢~」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWCTEhmu2X
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爹撲向我，將我抱在懷中，手觸碰著我的背部。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTHrVzjWW3
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「爹，我是如夢。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6NMojCK8l
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滿身酒氣的爹笑了笑，「我...知道啊！妳是似夢~我最愛的似夢~來~親...親一個~！」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoziUERyIWM
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我擋住爹的嘴，感覺渾身不舒快的往爹的肚腹揍了一拳，爹哀嚎了一聲，摀住肚子從我身上滑坐到地上。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqO4E2Kwrq
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「妳是...如夢.....妳娘的！」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXq9gw9LeP
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爹抬起頭掐住我的脖子，雙眼布滿了血絲，看起來給人不舒服的感覺。後來我才知道，那種感覺叫「恐懼」。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbmX5Z3ivM
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「妳娘逃走了，生了妳之後就跑了！無夢生的兒子又當天夭折！逼不得已將妳騙說是無夢生的！但誰準妳長得這麼像似夢的！！」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7c6qbx1Nj
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我愣住。娘逃走了...？無夢是娘的名字阿...如果說娘生的是兒子，而且已經夭折...我的娘是逃走的...69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fIIZDaARl
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我是似夢姑姑的女兒？69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHbSlogZAq
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所以娘不是我的娘...我的娘生了我後就出走了...我的娘是雲家最受寵愛的「雲似夢」，而且她在生了我之後就拋棄我了...69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0PdJIQ7pB
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不......不.........不！！！69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQUeBLsVZ4
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「不可能！！」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWJWPR0bUe
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我一把推開爹，我感覺到全身都在顫抖，眼睛不斷的「哭」，背後有種火燒的痛覺和衣服撕裂的聲響，但我全都沒去注意。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7cMzc9o32
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「如夢的娘叫無夢，如夢的娘不是似夢姑姑！你喝醉！你亂說！」 69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQY1GMNHAm1
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爹望著我，雙眼迷離的大笑著，「哈哈哈！妳以為妳怎麼跟妳的似夢姑姑長得一模一樣的！當然是因為她是妳的娘阿！」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDB5aLcf6G
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爹大笑著，雙眼卻哭了。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwPrLDteQw
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「哈哈...當年為了去看妳出生，我讓妳弟弟差點死在無夢腹中，經過搶救是生下來了，可惜出生後3個時辰妳弟弟還是死了！哈哈哈哈！是因為妳喔！因為妳，妳弟弟夭折妳娘親出走摔落懸崖死了喔哈哈哈哈哈哈哈.....！」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMg0UGDjosm
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騙人的...69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCjBALuZHC
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「妳的出生伴隨著兩個人的死亡喔！我最愛的女兒阿！」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTcQUVtfax
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騙人的...這個男人喝醉了...他在騙人...他說的都是謊言...不可以相信...不可以相信的....69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xAz2T7lVw
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爹突然停下了笑，眼睛也停止了哭，一臉平靜的望著我，過了良久，露出一抹蘊含很多情緒的溫柔微笑。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH52wex7PvH
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「如果妳從沒出生過那該多好。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmo2VT2zOE5
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後來我不知道怎麼了，我只知道我「哭」了，哭完之後，一個有點像我、跟我一樣年紀的男孩在我面前，溫柔的替我抹去了所有眼淚。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFm7zHBVafz
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他說：「我是妳的弟弟，我當年沒有夭折，但為了給姐姐更好的生活我被似夢姑姑抱走了。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRcpNSu6YF
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我望著他，一臉認真，雙瞳炯炯有神，盈滿了情緒。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfHh8yZO0W
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「我叫守如夢，是爹...守家唯一的繼承人！」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKnBPETrWq
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「姐姐睡吧，我會守護妳的。」弟弟將他的手遮掩住我的雙眼，另一隻手則輕輕摟著我。很溫暖，讓我的意識漸漸的飄散。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmLg1KNsGs
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墜入完全黑暗深沉的睡眠中前，我看見的是一片鮮紅、血肉模糊，滿目瘡痍的瓦礫廢墟。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYh4wm3s0d
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對了...我是在哪裡...？69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3of3RZTGN
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來不及想清楚，我就沒有意識了。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmElU1NW85G
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「姐姐~吃飯囉~在想什麼~？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1Bn4zCY7k
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回過神，趴坐在窗台上的我回頭望向已經20歲的青年，輕輕一笑，手指輕撫了撫不知道為什麼，我醒來後背上就多了的這半對黑色羽翼的翅膀。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSbMdkHYHT
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「在想...今天吃什麼~」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeRZEjZXfu
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望著弟弟燦爛的笑臉，我拿著弟弟在我那年醒來後送我的紫色摺扇，跳下窗台，牽著弟弟走到了飯廳。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VcHKmFxeN
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在弟弟身旁好像會讓我變多情緒，現在我除了「哭」和「笑」，也會「生氣」和「鬧彆扭」了，也明白什麼叫開心和悲傷了。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOesqYkV0J
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對了，我和弟弟現在是殺手，很好的職業，弟弟替我戴上面紗後把人殺掉就好，從中我學到了「快感」，也得到了「血扇浮雲」的稱號。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR97TWDMfj5
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而關於過去...其實我已經慢慢的快都忘光了，不過弟弟...守如夢總會在我的身旁，就算沒有過去的記憶也一定沒問題的！

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浮雲

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