《一百個斷尾故》 - [Story 42－老婆大人]

一大早就叫晒班細入會議室！

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『你哋點搞㗎？月中喇！搵咗幾多客返嚟吖？』我大大聲聲！

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「對唔住Florence姐...」啲細嘅個個頭耷耷...

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『對唔住？對唔住有用咩？吓？我上個月已經講咗㗎啦！』我就繼續鬧！

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啲細又頭耷耷咁唔敢出聲...

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『上個月吖！我假都唔放就返嚟捽你哋！都係啱啱好夠數咋！唔係嘅話？吓？你哋係唔係唔想撈呀？』你哋越係唔敢出聲我就越要鬧！

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「唔係...」

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『唔係？唔係咩呀？我睇唔到你哋唔係喎！吓？咁嘅業績返嚟做咩呀？食屎啦！』

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『你老母生你出嚟做乜㗎？』

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『有冇貢獻㗎？』

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『我靠你哋班廢柴就食得屎啦！使唔使阿姐我出去跑數呀？跑埋你哋嗰份返嚟好唔好呀？』

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「唔使...唔使...」

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『唔使？唔使咩呀？唔係話唔使就有客自己仆埋嚟㗎！要去搵㗎！要去搶呀！成碌撚咁！』

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『做咩呀？話錯你哋呀？吓？好似食咗屎咁！有冇反省呀？』

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『你呀！上個月最後一日先交齊數呀！』

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『你呀！月頭都未開過單呀！』

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『你呀！個客要賠你就立即賠呀？有冇Check過呀？Check返幾個月先使唔使我教呀？！』

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我就逐個咁指住嚟屌！

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『仲有你呀！尋日先開到第一張單！你返嚟做乜呀？我問你返嚟做乜呀廢柴！』

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「咁真係冇咁多新客...」

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『咁梗係冇咁多新客啦！啲客早幾年就俾我搶晒㗎喇嘛！唔係我坐到呢個位？你一早知㗎嘛呢啲嘢！』

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「咁真係好難搵...」

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『咁梗係難搵啦！而家就係要你難搵咋嘛！你重喺度駁嘴，你以為真係有料呀？有料你企喺度插我唔係我企喺度插你啦！你啲咁嘅死蠢！你俾著我兩年前唔好老脾，我一腳伸你落下面花園道呀，再掛喺皇后像廣場嗰度嚟鞭屍呀！』

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『你哋仲成碌撚咁棟喺度做乜呀？你哋而家係咪玩我吖？』

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「而家去...而家去...」

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『廢柴！你哋班廢柴！你哋記住呀你哋係一碌廢柴，你哋唔好行出去，你哋碌出去好呀！』

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望住成班細死晒狗咁碌返出去...

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冇撚用㗎屌！

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由我中學畢業出嚟做嘢，已經從事保險十幾年！

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講真，有咩風浪未見過？

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我講嘢已經好溫柔～以前俾人屌嗰陣，更難聽嘅都有！

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我咪又係咁捱～

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好難咩？好慘咩？好辛苦咩？

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難得過慘得過辛苦得過冇錢？

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搵錢先係最重要！要搵得多錢就要爬得高！爬得越高就搵得越多錢！

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挖爛塊面呃呃氹氹咩手法都要用！

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保險都玩咗咁多年啦～而家啲產品唔係重伏，又點呃到啲新客返嚟吖？

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好似我咁都係屌啲細嘅去呃～呃唔到就自動消失～然後又有班新血加入～

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總之總有啲醒目仔聰明囡幫到自己搵錢嘅～

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我呢種事業型女性，咁咪唔會組織家庭？

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咁你又錯喎～其實我就結咗婚㗎喇～仲啱啱先生咗個B～

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老公話想生喎～喺結婚嘅時候就已經計劃好～

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唔係計劃幾時生仔咁簡單吖！係計劃好幫佢生都得～不過就要佢湊囉～

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我係唔會湊㗎！簽埋協議書我繼續搵錢！佢就湊仔做家庭主夫！

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我咁辛苦先上到呢個位，冇理由為咗家庭而放棄咁蝕㗎嘛！

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『我返嚟喇...』一返到屋企除咗對三吋高嘅高踭鞋...

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「返嚟喇老婆？」老公第一時間俾對拖鞋我，再幫我執返好對高踭鞋，「攰唔攰吖？」

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『攰死添啦...』我就坐喺梳化...

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「辛苦你喇～」老公第一時間就幫我按摩膊頭～

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『唉...你知唔知吖？一早返到公司就要捽班細！捽到喉嚨都痛！』講起喉嚨都有啲乾...

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「所以我就沖定杯花旗參蜜俾你～」老公喺檯面拎起杯花旗參蜜俾我，繼續幫我按摩～

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『唉～』我飲一啖，潤潤喉，『你知唔知班細真係...真係唔掂！踢一踢先郁一郁...』

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老公繼續幫我按～按埋個頭～

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『啊～月中喇...仲係跑唔夠數...真係頭都痛埋...』老公又幫我按得好舒服～

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「唔痛唔痛～按完就唔痛～」

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『仲有吖...今日要入屯門搵返個舊客...』

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「哦～嗰個客～」

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『係吖～一開始嘅舊客...跟咗咁耐咪Keep住自己跟囉...入到屯門呢啲大西北地方...揸車去踩油都踩都腳軟...泊低架車仲要行...著住對高踭鞋㗎...』

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老公立即跪到去我面前～幫我按對腳～

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『唔係呢個舊客...我都唔會親自去...』

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「唔緊要啦～等我幫你按返鬆對腳啦～」

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『嗯～』

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望住老公跪喺我面前幫我按腳...

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『老公你買咗廁紙未？』

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「梗係買咗啦～今日特價吖嘛～買多兩條添吖～」

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『個熱水爐呢？叫咗人嚟睇未？』

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「今日上咗嚟睇啦～冇問題～掂晒～」

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『冷氣機滴水呢？管理處有冇上嚟煩？』

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「有吖～我咪聽你咁講話唔知喎～冇滴喎～叫佢哋再睇清楚先唔好騷擾我哋～」

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『嗯～啱喇～咁阿B呢？』

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「啱啱餵咗奶啦～換埋片添～瞓得好冧吖～要唔要睇吓佢吖？」

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『啱啱先返嚟...係都沖咗涼先啦！』

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「好好～咁我幫你拎齊啲衫～開埋爐俾你沖涼～」

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望住老公嘅背影行入房...

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老公都成三十三歲人...都咁聽教聽話～

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我又搵到咁多錢返嚟養起成頭家...都唔可以唔讚自己叻～

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[Story 42－老婆大人]

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