Do you know these starry nights where you can see the whole bright mesmerizing stars? The endless celestial objects?
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4UpOgEHLd
She was lost in thought, staring at the sky while sitting on the backyard with her knees to her chest. She was lucky that there wasn't much light pollution like in other urban places.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAbeTDKtzD
Her aunt had fallen asleep hours ago and it was late. It had passed midnight. Regan had school tomorrow. She was supposed to sleep at this hour, but she wasn't.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCFQPLeBkS
For some other minutes, after doing the same thing, gazing at stars, she convinced her mind to go back inside. She didn't know why but there was always something about the stars. She was always drawn to bizarre, unknown things for humans.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVReHTujJT
After she went inside her room, she changed into a set of loose, kitty-themed pajamas. She brushed her teeth and lay in the bed, trying to get some sleep.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMyqyYXu4y
However, that familiar feeling crept on her, as well as the mass of these whole intrusive and negative thoughts.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zHNmmh4EH
It was the reason why she was so paranoid, why her head always hurt, why her body was so tense.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVNpSYaxNR
As for that familiar feeling, well that was a feeling of non-belonging. She had felt that since she was little, she didn't remember how years old, but probably around seven. And she still felt it now that she was eighteen.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeslmkYqLq
It was like she always knew she was different, that she didn't fit in. And it was true. She didn't fit at all, she felt like an outsider, she hated crowds, fake friends, people. They were dirty, they cared about sex, money, material things, they were shallow.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsHDwFyAqX
Maybe she was probably being unfair, there were good people in the world, that not everyone was like that. But still, she couldn't see anyone who was good. She could only sink in her negative thoughts, in her tense body, in her head.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3HiI3HQyZ
Regan sighed and rolled onto her side where the cold blankets were cool and soothing. It was useless though. Sleep eluded her again.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡreYUJY1xKD
Her mind was hell awake, thinking that she was about to die, thinking always the worst.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuubWKEwbX
The night was silent. She had left the window open for some air but still felt as suffocating. Boredom grew as well and she wondered if there was anyone else feeling like her, like a mess, tortured by her own mind.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6qofLn2Go
She tossed and turned in bed, trying to find a comfortable spot. It was useless. If she covered herself with blankets, she felt hot and trapped; if she let them pool on the floor, she was freezing. If she closed her eyes, images of the dark, intrusive images clouded her. If she stayed awake, all previously mentioned things happened as well. She was terrified to look up in Google about what she felt because it would make things even worse. She knew it. She had done it before and had ended up even more terrified and anxious.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUXwiVgV14
She had always felt like that, always tense, never calm, never positive, always waiting for something terrible to happen.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMr0CZiKY6
She wished she could talk to someone about it, but who would understand? Who would care? Her aunt would act like Google, get freaky. Her parents.... they weren't alive. Regan only knew their appearances, even that was just from pictures. She had no friends, no real connections to anyone. She had only her mind, her negative, paranoid, self-depressive mind.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdJlDNkbUn
Finally, she cursed under her breath and shoved the covers away, knowing it was no use to lay there.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlpHnWTX2e
She sat up and grabbed her phone, starting to play a game. But then, it was something else. That time, she felt watched. She glanced around the room, her heart thumping. She clenched her jaw, hating her brain for always working against her, making her paranoid.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnp5YwnbDH
After several minutes, she decided to get out of bed and walk around the room, trying to calm herself down. She knew that walking around helped a bit. Or just doing something different. Anything to take her mind off the feeling of being watched.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMP7WfC79b
She stood by the window, looking out at the darkness, the stars still visible. A cool breeze caressed her face, and for a moment, she felt better. But her body worked against her, as it always did. She closed her eyes, trying to relax.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHLFAeeQTy
When she opened them again, she saw something move out of the corner of her eye. She peeked out of the window, her heart hammering against her ribs. There was nothing, just the bushes swaying in the breeze. She let out a shaky breath, cursing under her breath.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4Pyx2oU3d
When thinking about school for a moment, she just remembered it was a second prison. She had good grades, she didn't know how. It wasn't like she studied all the time or something, but she had mostly A's and B's. Maybe because she was smart? She didn't know.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTbO7h0m26
She leaned back from the window and thought to do something else. Maybe just eat something. But she wasn't hungry. Her laptop was on the desk but felt heavy to use. She was so tired, so tired that when she tried to sleep, she just couldn't. She glanced at the clock on her bedside table and sighed. It was only 1:30.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5CohEs4Rb
"Such a long night," she muttered to herself, rubbing her eyes. She couldn't wait for the day, but it was a cycle after all. Night would come, she'd struggle to sleep, and then she'd wake up exhausted.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvB9dWc7NK
She lazily flopped onto her bed and flipped through social media, looking for something that would distract her. Nothing really caught her attention. She slammed the phone on the table and rolled on the other side, trying to get some sleep.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9G3tKxR39
She started to get hot again and kicked the covers off, trying to cool down. She turned on her side, away from the window, and closed her eyes, hoping that sleep would come. It didn't.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQa1ml25tGd
"Oh God, I want to sleep," she whispered, grabbing the blankets again and forcing herself to submit to her wants. Her eyelids grew heavy, burning if she kept them open. She tried to think about something else, something beautiful, probably the books and movies she had read and seen. Because there was nothing else in her life that she considered beautiful.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhW8Vc3lAX
She closed her eyes and started to drift off to a uneasy sleep, like most nights. With nightmares of being lost and other terrifying scenarios. She mumbled nonsense words and tossed and turned, unable to find a comfortable position. At least, she was sleeping somehow. Even if it wasn't restful.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKknunZzwK
In the morning, a bright light filled the room, and she jolted awake. The sunlight was burning her face and she quickly remembered it was finally day. Good for her. Even though she was going to a new school, at least losing her mind and forgetting her negative thoughts would be a good thing.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdUpD9I6Wa
She knew how her school day would go. Being a loner and getting no attention from anyone, was the best for her. She avoided talking with others or joining groups. The only reason why she was going to school were her grades.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81NmlcuG3u
She entered the bathroom and dressed up quickly. Her clothes didn't include big options of wearing, so she went with baggy, knee-ripped jeans and a black t-shirt with words written in bold gold color: "STAY AWAY".
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAO5kS8TE2Y
Ironic, this spoke volumes of what she wanted others to do.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3C98jlMIk3
Then she combed her hair, letting it hang over her shoulders. She picked her bag and her phone, then left the room.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5LmLaiUTE
As she stepped down the stairs, just a glance on her phone made her realize how damn late she was.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlcawgzVFf
"My God," she said, blaming herself for being so stupid. She saw Monica was already sitting on the couch, drinking her morning coffee. She looked up at Regan, knowing she was late.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQdCKs4am5
"Aunt, you could've woken me up," Regan said frustrated, but then regretted it because it wasn't her aunt's fault.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡru2NVU2sFY
"Hey, don't panic, you're a bit late, but you're new so it's not such a big deal, hun," Monica replied.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkNPFWQ0dT
Regan nodded nonchalantly and poured herself a glass of milk. She drank quickly and then Monica dropped her off school. When she arrived there it was 8:12. She had seen the school before on photos but she felt nervous to go inside herself.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9PmYuH0Jx
So Monica accompanied her inside and then left. The first class of her senior year was chemistry and she dragged her feet to find it. At the same time she was thinking about a valid excuse to get out of the embarrassing position.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5diCDLvhS
The hallways were large and she spotted a woman in her fifties. She thought her as a teacher and asked her where the chemistry class was.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwSBfRP6Bh
The teacher told her the direction and asked if she was new. Regan managed to explain something quick and then turned on her heel. She found the door, anxiety rushing in her whole and she got that nervous knot on the stomach.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXW5mECKaK
Now, she wasn't only worrying about the excuses of being late but also if she had to introduce herself to the class.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6m2Fk2b2eU
She knocked and opened the door to reveal a whole class staring at her like she was some sort of alien.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgVGltlTW6
"Who are you?" the teacher who was standing near the board asked.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzCe1Mo3mw
The words eluded Regan for a moment, not liking the way she was being stared at. She would have yelled at them if the teacher hadn't been there. She was short-tempered sometimes, she'd give that.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16cj2U69H1
"I'm Regan Miller," she answered, trying to swallow her anxiety.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUD1aKs8YWg
"Oh, you're the new girl," the teacher said but from her expression one could tell she was annoyed. "Already late on your first day miss Miller?" she asked, slightly raising her voice.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxShCGXDSf
"I'm sorry miss...I just moved in and had some work to do," she said, hoping she would understand, "It's not going to happen again."
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEebS4Mxyw
The class laughed, but Regan tried not to look at them and wore a mask of indifference.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSVmzOMNtj
"Fine, miss Miller, I'll forgive this time because you're new but next time you won't do so easily. No one dares to come late in my class," she emphasized the last sentence, "now go sit somewhere."
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvu3fS0uaOC
Regan did as told and started looking for a seat, hard because of all the freaks staring at her.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwVcHexGrC
To her luck, there was an empty seat at the end of the class which was near the window. The desks were for only one person to sit which was good for her.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1pwgO9Hqr
She went to sit there, feeling all the weird stares like they had seen a ghost. She didn't want to draw attention anymore as she had already done and didn't like it at all. She was also thankful to the teacher for not saying something like "introduce yourself to the class".
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3DP0OUHZM
"Silence!" the teacher yelled sternly at the class. Regan felt better when they all moved the attention back on the teacher and stopped laughing or glaring.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTY8VviUZx
She took notes from the bag and some pens. The topic on the board was "Organic Chemistry" and she quickly got the hang of it.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5tvH4DckK
The teacher started asking questions that seemed too easy, but no one was responding. She raised her hand awkwardly, not worrying at all and after her response, the teacher praised, "Well done, Miss Miller!"
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WckU5axCU
Again, the class started to babble for no specific reason. The teacher shut it up once more. Meanwhile, she took a better look at her surroundings. Before her was a girl. Next to her, was a boy who kept staring. She cursed under her breath, wanting to punch the boy. Not only embarrassed from being late, she kept getting stared at like a fool. If there was something she hated after physical touch, was getting stared at.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BNNI0Pqrh
The hours passed and her next class was math, which she managed easily, just like any other subject.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJ3W4KorHz
It was lunch and all the students were out of class. Now she had to face another big problem. Where to sit, where to stay, what to do, should she get back instead?
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8x5XVb0Bm
She walked very slowly to the school hall, her direction was the cafeteria, but seeing the big crowd there was changing her mind. Maybe school was just emphasizing the fact she was different.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzX0Lh3eE3
Being hungry didn't help.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9bH82gObO
She tried to enter the crowded area, managing to stay away as much as possible. She waited in the long queue, trying to stay invisible. After what seemed like eternity, she bought a burger and a coke.
439Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEFj3A8SPp
The cafeteria worker gave her a tray and a smile, noticing she was new. Regan returned the smile and walked away. She sat on an empty table.
ns216.73.216.81da2
