After the extreme excitement, TinJau regained his sanity. He returned the membership card to SiuPui carefully. SiuPui was surprised at first and wondered if she had mistaken this person. But when she looked at the eyes of TinJau that showed no hesitation at all. She felt relieved.
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"I'm sorry, I can't give you an answer right now," TinJau said. "Give me two days and I'll take care of the rest."
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"Is it about your girlfriend?" SiuPui asked so directly which caught TinJau off guard. Finally, he nodded, "I can't leave for a year without her consent. I have a commitment to her."
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"I understand. I'll wait for you for two days."
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After exchanging phone numbers with SiuPui, TinJau left the headquarters of ‘LV’. After the door was completely closed, Bianca said, "Did you already know he had a girlfriend?"
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SiuPui nodded speechlessly.
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"Then why did you still-"
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"Don't worry, I won't get fall into him. I have no intention of stealing someone else's boyfriend."
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"Remember what you said. The same thing happening three times in a row is too much."
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After all TinJau just gone through, it was impossible to ask TinJau to go home and rest obediently, and then have a proper dinner with his girlfriend the next night.
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If this matter is not settled immediately, TinJau will never be able to sleep. On the way to his girlfriend's house, TinJau kept rehearsing and improving a set of words in his mind to explain everything that had happened since last night.
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It was so hard to explain. If he tells the truth about everything about 'LV', she will definitely be angry and heartbroken. She would probably think that this was a story TinJau made up in order to dump her. And this story was so unbelievable that she would think that TinJau regarded her as an idiot.
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He really didn't have the confidence to convince his girlfriend about the 'LV' issue. So, TinJau finally decided not to give any explanation and just tell her a few facts. He had terminated his contract with the company, and he transferred the money in his bank account to a fund management. And he was planning to travel abroad with backpack for about a year without knowing the destination at this moment.
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TinJau expecting his girlfriend to bombard him with numerous questions, from 'Why do you want to bum around?' to 'Why now?' to 'Why did you resign without discussing with me?' or 'Don't you love me anymore?' and so on. He didn't have an answer for any of these questions.
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Fortunately and surprisingly, his girlfriend, who had always been extremely obsessed about various details of life, didn't ask anything this time.
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"I actually had a feeling that one day you would bring up something similar to me. I've been waiting for you to make up your mind and tell me since a long time ago," she turned her head, holding back her tears, then turned back and said as if there are nothing strange happened, "Now that day has finally come, I can finally let go of my anxieties."
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"This, this is impossible. I only realized today-"
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"Didn't you notice that your original eyes have disappeared since you started working in society? Your current eyes like a dead person and without any passion. You just like those miserable prisoners forced to labor in novels." She said.
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“I look like a prisoner who being forced to work?" TinJau asked.
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"No one knows better than me the change in your eyes. Because I have been looking into your eyes every day since the 10th grade until today. When I first met you, your eyes were different from anyone else's, with a wildness, wanting to change the world with determination, or stand proudly outside the norms of society. But now, you have long lost that wildness."
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"I thought that was called maturity."
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"You have become mature. I know. But you have become an unhappy adult. I don't want to see you unhappy. I don't want to see you live a life unwillingly for me."
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"I'm not unwilling—"
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"Do you think I don't know that backpacking and traveling around was your dream for many years? You often talked about it in high school and college, I still remember your words. I know that you gave up your own opportunities to fulfill my dream of going to Ocean Disney. You have been saving money for our marriage and enduring a job silently that you don't like in the past few years. I know all of this too... Ugh.."
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"SiuZik..."
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"I just don't want you to continue to sacrifice yourself to please me. Every time I see the tired expression that you can’t cover up, do you know how guilty and heartbroken I feel?"
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"Listen to me! I have figured it out, I don't want to go wandering around anymore.”
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"No, you must go." she said, "I would rather let you go cruelly. Let you have a good journey than marry me with a thorn in heart and tell me you are regretting it after starting a family. Let us end it here."
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"SiuZik!"
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"We have been together for too long. Not just you, even I am beginning to feel a bit confused. How much of my feelings for you is love, and how much is habitual dependence on you. Now it is our last chance before getting married to find out whether we are each other's significant other, or just a bond that should be severed?"
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"..."
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"You don't need to worry about anything anymore. Since you have made up your mind to travel around, you should make good use of this opportunity, to clear up all your past regrets as much as possible. Maybe you will find the right person to marry on your journey, or maybe you will come back to me in the end, the choice is completely in your hand.
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I won't wait for you. I won't ask you to give me any promises. I let you go and let you be free. If you still want to come back to me after traveling around the world, then you come back to me. Otherwise, let's not see each other again."
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The eight-year relationship ended with a simple conversation. Although the result was as TinJau expected, when he turned around to leave, TinJau realized how reluctant he was.
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He couldn't turn back anymore. He thought he had hidden his true feelings very well, but she had seen right through him. She wouldn't allow him to turn back.
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However, TinJau stopped, turned around, and asked, "SiuZik, come with me."
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SiuZik, who had been holding back tears, finally broke down at that moment.
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DAY 2
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Since entering the workforce, TinJau has been plagued by chronic sleep deprivation. Although he was exhausted every day after work, he still found it difficult to fall asleep.
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But that night, when TinJau returned home, he was so sleepy that he didn't even have the energy to climb into bed.
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When he opened his eyes again, he found himself lying on the floor of the living room. Looking at the clock on the wall, it was already three o’ clock in the afternoon.
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(It's been so many years since I slept so soundly.) Completely relaxed and free from work stress, it felt completely different from the temporary relief he used to feel during vacations.
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Although it was already afternoon, TinJau suddenly in the mood to made himself a "breakfast" of ham and omelette for the first time in seven years. His cooking skills hadn't deteriorated much since his college days. TinJau suddenly thought, "I haven’t made breakfast for SiuZik for a long time." But he immediately shook his head and dismissed the thought.
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(My journey hasn't even begun, why am I thinking about things after I return?)
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After lazily taking a shower, he picked up his cell phone and decided to contact SiuPui.
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SiuPui was kneeling in front of a grave, muttering something. TinJau felt it was not appropriate to interrupt her, so he wandered around casually. Since the cemetery was backed by mountains and faced the sea, there was a feeling of sudden enlightenment. As he stayed there, the sun gradually set.
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Today seemed like a good day to visit the grave. There wasn’t a single cloud in the sky, the sunset was golden and dazzling, the sunlight still could burn and hurt the skin a bit, the air wasn't too humid. Even TinJau, who often called himself an "indoor person," didn't find it too hard to stay there.
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For SiuPui, who had a bronze skin complexion, this little bit of sunshine is not a problem at all. TinJau also envied her skin tone, so he rolled up his sleeves and try to enjoy a sunbath.
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Turning around, TinJau saw SiuPui waving at him. He jogged over and bowed respectfully to the people in the grave.
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TinJau wanted to ask who the person in the grave was, but seeing the expression of SiuPui, he swallowed his words.
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He looked carefully at the tombstone, trying to find some clues. But it seemed that what is carved on the tombstone only some ordinary information.
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Glancing at the tombstones nearby, he suddenly realized that this was a new tomb, and the deceased should have passed away not long ago. SiuPui probably came back to hometown specifically because of him.
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"Bianca, did she ever tell you nonsense about me?"
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TinJau didn't know how to answer. And he does not understand what she was referring to.
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"This man once left a huge knot in my heart. I once thought this knot would never be untied until the day I died. I always thought that I still loved him, but when I heard of his death, I couldn't even shed a tear. Instead, I let out a long, long sigh, a breath I had been holding in for over a decade..."
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"The deceased was gone, SiuPui, you are still..."
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"TinJau, do you understand what I'm saying?"
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"..."
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"TinJau, I can untie the knot in my heart not because of meeting you. You were just the first man I happened to encounter after releasing that knot. I recommended you to join 'LV' just simply because I believe you meet the criteria for membership. And I wanted to share the joy of backpacking with you, that's all."
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"I understand."
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SiuPui smiled relaxedly.
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She took out a small delicate steel box from her huge backpack. The box had 'LV' embossed on it, with a small number '0713' engraved in the lower right corner inconspicuously.
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"We call this the 'Pandora's Box'. Except for the membership card, the contents inside are not specified, and are based on the sponsor's preference. It is said that Nirvana's lead vocalist, Kurt Cobain, once sponsored the card No. '0228'. What’s in the box is a packet of high-purity heroin."
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Seeing TinJau's eyes is shining, SiuPui knew he must be a fan of Nirvana. In 1991, Kurt Cobain and his band sparked a music revolution in Seattle. Their music may not be the most die-hard rock, but it truly ignited the hearts of countless young people. It was a spiritual revolution that transcended music genres, national borders, cultural differences, and backgrounds.
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It was rare for SiuPui and TinJau, two people living in different worlds, despite the polarizing opinions even among fans of rock music, to both be the fans of Nirvana. Even for the rock bands as famous as Rolling Stones, there are still many people who claim to hate them, and there is always a certain degree of polarization in their evaluations. But there were very few who hated Nirvana or Kurt Cobain. Perhaps, while Kurt and Nirvana are pouring out their anger to accuse the world, there is actually a deeper level of open-mindedness that embraces all things hidden in their music.
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Meeting a like-minded person, SiuPui was eager to share all the rumors she knew with him: "After Kurt's death, his widow, Courtney Love (lead vocalist of the band ‘Hole’) who was also a card-holding member, inherited his sponsor position. However, the contents of the 'Pandora's Box' changed from drugs to the sexy panties she wore."
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“Poof!” TinJau couldn't help but burst into laughter at the graveyard.
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"That's just a rumor. Whether it's true or not depends on whether you have the fate to meet the person holding this card during your journey. Stop dilly-dallying and open the box!"
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TinJau tore off the seal and opened the box. Inside was the membership card he had seen yesterday. There is another card next to it, along with a booklet with an introduction and the like. It is packaged very luxuriously as if it is very precious.
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"This is..."
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"This is a VIP flight pass for Virgin Atlantic, which allows unlimited business class travel on any route of the company for a period of one year."
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"Such a thing really exists! How much does this card cost?"
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"It's free of charge. It is sponsored by the owner of Virgin Atlantic. He owns the airline, so it is nothing to him to issue a few free passes?"
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"So, Richard Branson, the owner of Virgin, is also...?"
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"With his behaviour, there is no way he is not a member of 'LV', right?" TinJau remembered that Branson had played backpacking to the extreme. Didn't the recent media report mention that he tried to travel around the world again by a hot air balloon? His backpack is that hot air balloon.
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"...But, my sponsor is Haruki Murakami. Doesn't Mr. Murakami have something to give me?"
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"Of course. But I didn't put that thing in the 'Pandora's box.'" SiuPui rummaged in her backpack for a long time and handed TinJau a tattered thick book.
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It is F. Scott Fitzgerald's novel "The Great Gatsby," the masterpiece that influenced Haruki Murakami throughout his life.
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"Is this... the same 'The Great Gatsby' that Mr. Murakami read back then?"
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"I don't know. I don't even know this Haruki Murakami at all. But this novel is quite interesting."
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"Oh my goodness! Mr. Murakami! Thank you! I will read it again!"
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"You seem very happy."
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"Of course!"
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"Then…let’s set off?"
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"Where to?"
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"To handle various mundane tasks. Even if you don't plan to bring anything with you, you should at least get the visa, figure out the flights, buy travel insurance, and so on."
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SiuPui turned around and saw TinJau still standing there blankly. The setting sun shone on him like a golden shadow, completely externalizing and reflecting his inner anxiety and confusion.
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TinJau was shaken by his unconscious question, "Where to?" "I don't know where I'm going to go. I can go anywhere now, but I don't know how to decide on my first stop. There are many places I want to go, many things I want to experience, but to choose a specific first stop that worth leaving everything behind and going to now is..."
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When looking at TinJau, his furrowed brow and agitation on his face, reminded SiuPui of that lovely boy she once loved, now the boy already became a dead body lying underneath the tombstone.
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Just like the moment described in Maugham's touching novel "Up at the villa," SiuPui irresistibly succumbs to her feminine instincts. She gently caressed TinJau's cheek and gave him an intense kiss.
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This kiss had no element of love, but it was a complete devotion of oneself.
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She thought to herself that if she could release this tired man from the layers of bondage and bring him to this vast, free world to breathe freely, she would be willing to pay any price for it.
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"Every new member of 'LV' cardholders must participate in a 'Beginner's Journey' which arranged by the referrer. This is an unwritten rule to help new members who without any backpacking experience to get used to travel freely as soon as possible."
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"That means..."
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"That means, your first destination of your journey is decided by me. Then you will have plenty of time to think about where you want to go, what you want to do. What you need now is to start the journey immediately, throw yourself into a strange place, and get used to the feeling of freedom." SiuPui said.
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"Do you mean we will be traveling companions?" TinJau's heartbeat still failed to calm down."Until you no longer need assistance."
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Within forty-eight hours, the woman beside TinJau went from his long-time girlfriend SiuZik to SiuPui who he just met by chance. He was change from an ordinary urban white-collar worker to an independent and free traveler.
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His journey begins now.
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