很久很久沒有寫文章了。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUi3L8IxWZ
就像之前短篇的敘事，並非是美好而溫馨的。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jUA81qgUi
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『世界上最遙遠的距離』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTL0uixvMhw
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所以我看著你對著別人露出，那不再屬於我的笑容。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3KJW8FxOK
在你身後的我咬唇，轉身離開了那裡。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCQfslQQPB
不能後悔。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp57OuePTrE
不能怨恨。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuAPFAy5dv
不能再想。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqQbJZVeSp
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因為。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNb3gkEx3bv
是我先推開了你給予我的擁抱。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGn6dhpRvQC
拒絕了你對我的情感。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8f6nqGiT6p
忽視了你眼底的情慾。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhWJXuMXPJ
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因此。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyfkBddwsQ
我怎麼能哭泣。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVd3hSMH1Do
我怎麼能悔恨。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ82ZvDOPlR
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因為是我自己造成這一切的啊。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlkgUPyaAc
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「明明做那樣選擇的是自己，可為什麼還是感到了悔恨。」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUBm2k7otA
「拒絕了你之後才愛上你。」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3I6s3MRPuj
「這樣的我令人厭惡。」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgG5tbg0bDo
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*60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU804vDgl38
錯過與放棄。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkYq7UAudr
於是悔恨交織。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8vSszK2tw
如果雙方都互相喜歡，但在不對的時間說了同樣的話，那麼結局終究也只是失去。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89uTsdbP2M
但造成這種局面的卻是自己。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7CaPKfpLP
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『If……』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FJP0hp0u5
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基爾伯特忽然頓住，熱燙的淚液毫無預警的自他頰面滑下，五臟六腑彷彿抽離血液似的，壓迫他喉嚨，使他急促地呼吸著。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0SgKZHANx
半晌，在這沒有任何人存在的家中，他漸漸地停止了哭泣。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfay4XvGG4
望著淌滿自己體液的手，基爾伯特緩緩勾起一抹笑，眼裡模糊成晶亮的光景，閃爍著鑽石色彩。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPw0eFP5br
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如果任何淚水都是有理由的話。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bcqLbES4N
那麼，基爾伯特兀自忖思，他這種毫無緣由乍然傾瀉的疼痛，又代表著什麼。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPV6VMQBpA
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*60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgE6Z5uppW
寫完後，友人看完之後畫了r18的圖........為什麼會是這種感想呢？（苦笑60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGqWwYxMtu
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『給十年後未來的你』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9Rh6AWOXF
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『WEST！我們到樹下埋寶藏吧！』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXC0OzfBjZ
活在記憶中地嗓音依然清晰如昨。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfmTxgV5ke
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那時才剛結束分裂局面，國內一切都不穩固，有天兄長忽然很開心的拉著他手徑往外衝，手裡還拿著一罐玻璃瓶，透明的瓶子可見折半的白紙。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoR6iPyC3x
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『你要記得十年之後再打開喔。』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkebCp04vz7
那天午後的天氣十分的溫暖，沐浴在彷佛受神祝福的光輝下，由於掘土而整張臉髒呼呼的兄長掛著笑容，一邊叮囑著他。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNhAZ3FcFO
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那時他究竟回答了些什麼呢……？60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvqCAlyGXK
至今回想卻支離破碎。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvbTfN9jOG
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唯一記得的是在那一場日光中，他眼淚似乎就要因為日光而融化出眼眶的疼痛。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwoi6VPeA5
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如果存在的奇跡是真的存在的話。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdOL8R3mZa
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那麼，那一天之後就是盡頭了吧。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceAWGqQA88
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早就該死亡了。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjK6Z5zpKB
早就該離開了。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMU3mxekLVS
早就……60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxIcITRfks
早就什麼也無法碰觸了……60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHs0QhqnBC
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重逢後的每一天清晨醒來看見兄長安然無恙的睡躺在他身旁時都是奇跡。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qSuHnPLmA
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他們能夠的相處的時間那麼少，少到讓他後悔莫及。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFW5zahTf1
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為什麼不早這樣做呢……60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRX1X0kLmOw
為什麼不能忍耐呢……60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mAY0I6FdY
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一個失去人民與國土的國家，究竟能走到什麼地步……60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mDqefF1IG
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『不要哭。』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYeuQnEWv41
最後，兄長只是這麼說。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgPGF0Qp1U
在風雪漸大的夜裡，在背後閃耀著五顏六色的煙花中這般輕喃。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGUEUqmno8
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那之後他仍舊過著一樣的日子。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6Mf9FJN6V
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只是再也沒有人在家裡等他，再也沒有人在耳邊吵鬧。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2ge52gl2U
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到底過了多久呢？60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTALJUx7VI
也許久到他連幾年都不記得了吧。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pGv7SmY9s
他總是覺得兄長還存在在任何地方，只是他找不到罷了。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSXBDLB7sl
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於是忽然那麼一天他想起那一個寶物。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXGGrMidZ0
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當時候的他寫了給未來的信件，那麼兄長一定也寫了什麼吧……60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hmgWlIscV
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他拼命的挖土。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYcSH8SitO
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不過幾分，鐵制的蓋子便從泥裡翻出。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrrQmAHUMS
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他費力的扭轉生銹的圓蓋，然後拿出放在裡面的信件。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9w8ByUpaN2
他第一個就翻開了兄長的信件，想看看兄長寫了什麼，卻愕然的啞口。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxEILcnlQd
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那是一面白紙。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVvlZOTAIo
由於在土裡待著，染上了土黃的 斑點。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rHyrYnZ0L
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上頭甚麼也沒有寫。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVoiNmDGN5
空白的，就像不曾有筆跡存在過。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHovf7VAxt
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『不要哭。』腦裡不斷地迴響著兄長的聲音。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7PECDdwK7
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他臉上卻佈滿了淚痕。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QKgYjD2Pi
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*********60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7qzzEYaUm
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看新聞有感。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoowlUsuKi
新聞描述的非常哀傷，但我卻想到會不會是因為埋的人早就知道自己不存於世所以什麼也不寫，因為已經沒有未來了。所以寫甚麼都只是惘然。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlE6AuKxnJI
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「關於雪的聯想」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPORlLP3sE
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關於雪的記憶，充滿著童話與火爐，天冷時的熱飲，依偎在你懷裡聽著你美好的聲音。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7rUfXSxNo
那時總是小，張著眼只注視得到你，伸出手也只能觸碰到你滿佈繭的掌。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OZS0O17mE
乾澀的，卻熱和著。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQoiXWpgSaB
『你聽』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2j07D3ihkI
你抱著我幼小的身軀，指腹抹過窗戶。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1AAYOCIz1
『雪聲落下來時候，是像這樣，一閃一閃的響著喔』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NfUnu0hza
室內的火材劈啪地冒出零星火花。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtgyFzSVKv
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『踏雪無聲』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxl9V6Wn12Q
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乍然寂靜無聲。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡns8MTCI0Ko
路德維希倏地轉身，一片銀白雪亮，折射著夜裡的月色，令人刺目。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBO6anH6Pyh
他張大眼，張口不能言。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxHm3S4MLz
方才和他說話的兄長消失的無影無蹤，明明還有餘溫的聲音，卻消失了，而在他身後蜿蜒的只有他一個人的足跡。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNc7FMvB11v
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「遙遠的童話故事」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzJlgOOvDy
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第一次看完索多瑪的120天的那陣子，只要他每天一想起片段都會忍不住嘔吐，即使他燒了書也無法竭止嘔出穢物的反胃。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkOUMoaOjv
現在他已經想不起故事，彷彿刻意消除痕跡似的，除了殘留在口腔裡膽汁的回憶之外，他腦中裡沒有任何關於故事的字句。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKN4v8WkCPF
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可即使一切什麼也不記得，但那種深深地醜陋情感卻扎根在他身體各位，完全無法擺脫。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZMJoJY0lQ
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『請幸福的……』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzxPyLx6bU
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEnbgr1iZG
如果那一天到來，不要挽留我。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGiuH8W6mv
請你自由的、幸福的跟另外一個人生活下去吧。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxDGiePntc
我會在那裏望著你，微笑的，流淚的。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDke6KJfl7m
因為我從來就沒有資格擁有你，我只是自我滿足的活在自己認為的幸福時光裡罷了。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObwFKsPovf
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9M605ib6J
奢望什麼的也只是虛幻。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwF32HlqHS
我無法相信話語的真實。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPONVsUOgA
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyw1945VTf
我知道，你愛我。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Q4KXxNET3
可是「我愛你」，這是親人間也會說的話。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaiKJuUTrV
我當然也從你口裡聽到。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCPbryLWpz
在早上醒來時給我的早安吻，在下午你歸來的玄關門口的吻，在夜裡沉睡前的晚安吻。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJq5kjvAju1
你總是會說：「我愛你。」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRNdd3Ezh7
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8T42UKgt5F
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是的。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Hpl4tpDJs
你是愛我的，可是你不是愛我的。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr92ghAQ871
那並非是我自己誤解。我總是看著你，總是微笑的看著，總是嬉鬧的看著你，總是在戰爭裡看著你。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYHE70XbpS
我無時不刻的看著你。所以很清楚，比你自己還清楚你自己。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSBHfbkfeL
我們之間緊緊聯繫的，不過是名為親情的愛情。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7YfFRU09s
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『後日談』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjCS9egu6g
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「喜歡你喔」他這麼說。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qN8KOJeXk
他不著痕跡的回望，面前的兄長哼著歌。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOm6AFDdj9v
然後他又重複了一次。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NiKJ1rEE3
「嗯」即使那是沒有任何感情、單調的話語，只是重複音節發生振動的合成。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0BcdvXwbj
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2oJ0Z3dqq
喜歡你喔，所以不會愛你喔。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSjRsNS8kA
基爾伯特哼著不成調的小曲，臉上滿是笑意。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9dPqTY3dC
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93dZtepuVJ
不知道什麼時候發現到的，可是已經為時已晚，那時兄長早就笑容滿面的將他從愛情裡排拒開。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsVM0DGpRe
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「十年」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3aA4DqJsAC
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有一天他從廣播聽見一首來自東方國度的歌，淳厚的男歌手看似平淡的唱著那歌詞。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchPf1mJYka
曲終時候，他忽然淚流滿面。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOU6MutjKR
就在他幾乎無法反應的片刻。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUT3Exx6DMo
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ynXZT3EiU
熱辣的液體不斷從體內湧出，喉嚨彷彿被壓抑著，嘶啞不成調。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiHVNUj8nH
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因為太感同身受了。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnpeuhTuk5
他和路德分開的時間以人類而言是那麼久，自然，有很多事情已經不像他記憶那樣的美好。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdeuyeFn1U0
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmN3fFIJmf
幾十年前他們是兄弟是親人，所以能夠牽手，能夠擁抱，能夠親吻。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjoeQE5FTM
現在，他們仍然是親人、兄弟，可以牽手、擁抱，但卻也沒有親吻過彼此。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMhQWs4fPd
就像是緊守著什麼界線，彼此誰也沒有越過的意思。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsj1j8S52l
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLF3NiKjvZ0
只是一廂情願的愛戀罷了。基爾伯特淺笑地望著窗外那一片青空。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xWWn1ZmCM
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJuvyhOEL5
那些在彼此生命裡空白的日子，他就像是戀愛的人一樣，一直渴望著見到他，一直在被剝削的勞力中自我安慰，一直、一直維持著自己的意志，在配合可笑的服從中，盡力維持著自己的意識，也許是曉得一旦遺忘，他就再也不可能回到路德身邊的緣故。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RgXZQwlnY
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZPPakAPvw
但像這種自以為是的愛情，怎麼可能會得到相等的回報？60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQbiecEWmI
他似乎想的太過美好了，就像那道牆破碎以後，就認為一切都可以海闊天空，哪知道，無論在哪都沒有差。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFjWKMFZlJ
他始終是，一個人。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSgNH57R6Q
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsEzZVEvYP
他卻天真以為，能夠讓對方愛上自己。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KQH7FGq8U
明明他們之間除了兄弟的親情之外，什麼也不剩。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53d1C4tBDg
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『 』60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tISJOAmVH
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他決定要去旅行。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaYFlain7v
趁著那一天弟弟加班的日子，他簡單收拾了行李，和家裏養著的狗一一道別之後，他關上家門，最後看了一眼他一定不會再開啟的門，而後邁步往街上走去。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneHWH2zUiR
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IYEtWXSoi
路德也許會生氣吧。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgF8plj5oy
基爾伯特悠閒地走在路邊，一邊淡淡想著。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvR9si40eQ
不過，他不會解釋的，也不會後悔的。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPnbdxcwzI
哼著不知打哪學會的曲調，午後的陽光撒在他背上，熠熠生輝。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIyZzEF75O
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKjDM8PgaG
路德維希一如往常因為加班的緣故晚到了家。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2KNrqx6hZ
在還沒打開家門口的時候，他還在想要怎麼跟兄長解釋，然後一開門入眼的卻是一整片黑暗。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmsvK0Dot9
他思緒有些混雜的楞在家門口，半晌無法言語。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTl5ps3XqPz
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKI8yT6Bmv
家裏養著的三隻狗衝上前趴住他。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtTLG8Yq9j
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8KyY9pcev
基爾伯特的身影幾乎消失。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguwiQHR3NH
那之後他走遍了住家周圍，甚至在後面幾天不斷搜尋著，用網路、用人力，但是彷彿電腦裡的資料被消除後的乾淨，到處都找不到他的兄長，雖然偶而會接獲零星的消息說在哪有誰曾見過他的行蹤，他也曾前往該地，但一切一切卻像是被嘲笑一樣的徒勞無功。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUxFk2DkN9
他感到十分焦躁，甚至湧上不安的思緒。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7xClV6wVW
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgnJuJPXUj
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUzRaBgwxn
「你有見過這個男人嗎？」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhi6dNNkfS1
他在街上隨意攔截了某位路人，並從懷裡掏出那張因為過於頻繁使用充滿皺摺的相片問著對方。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQOhSzQbwN
搖搖頭，被他攔下的人表示從未見過。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4XxIyh8hm
「……謝謝。不好意思，打擾您的時間了。」60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVmj9axB3F
也許是疑惑，離開前那路人還頻頻回望他幾眼，大約是在想這人是怪人嘛，尋人這事不是要找警察解決的嗎。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9QBSgI9wx
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KX78lftO0
60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLFsaDiruC
他收起相片，忖思。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkd2H9vcPb
已經找了這麼多年，從那天兄長消失在家中開始，他就拿著這張很久前兄長拍攝下的個人照，在他放假時候到各個地點去尋找。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhaub0V9Dm4
但是，得到的答案總是千篇一律，他們從未見過他。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4NXZ1pfyW
伊莉莎白跟羅德里赫也勸過他該放棄了，因為死心總比冀望那幾乎不存在的希望來的好。60Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJF8v0Ykmec
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也許是該放棄的時候了。ns216.73.216.0da2
