向菱出教室,來到走廊上,突然就覺得南雨鎮的三月不存在春天。195Please respect copyright.PENANAmsl21d0Hun
195Please respect copyright.PENANAXGjuPLTR8c
據說祁小波感冒了,所以向菱那天沒有陪她出去玩。195Please respect copyright.PENANAvYZmBbI7xw
195Please respect copyright.PENANAdwCK7tGgcV
這事是祁澈先和她提的,那時他像是隨口一提,她點點頭,表示回應。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAp0doaTHhrw
195Please respect copyright.PENANAA9vFymhaIZ
她原本和祁小波約好要一同去公園溜滑梯的,但因為此事,也只好之後再說了。195Please respect copyright.PENANAs8Fi8rHUhG
195Please respect copyright.PENANAChc90nD0Go
海邊小鎮的春季多雨,多雲又帶點悶熱,海浪拍打得更加兇狠,雨下得更為頻繁。195Please respect copyright.PENANACBByGTmTML
195Please respect copyright.PENANAh0SWUJRBD8
用一個字來總結就是——躁。195Please respect copyright.PENANAiGjDFp1UUR
195Please respect copyright.PENANAP0zyUScyur
高二下學期的春天,學生們到了適合思考自己生涯的年紀。 195Please respect copyright.PENANA3Y1syYOIDL
195Please respect copyright.PENANAIfJm5cX4hg
台上的教師總會在講課時有意無意地提起,同儕間偶爾也有討論,引起不少人開始規劃。195Please respect copyright.PENANAwGPHXjtJDT
195Please respect copyright.PENANAQJwL7NhG2b
楊宛和向菱聊到這個話題時,楊宛提起了她的志向。 195Please respect copyright.PENANA2ZW3Nn25Ft
195Please respect copyright.PENANAnX30fkI4s4
「我故鄉那所大學的服裝設計系!」 195Please respect copyright.PENANApIOHHicKdO
195Please respect copyright.PENANAki7giB6Eml
幾個同班同學也跟著提出了各自的目標,似乎已經充滿鬥志。195Please respect copyright.PENANAKRmc56WR86
195Please respect copyright.PENANAqG8KPlkAWg
某個女同學說道:「我想去北渝市!」195Please respect copyright.PENANARyMcF5Dmbb
195Please respect copyright.PENANAPLxAqNoN1m
另一個男同學順著她的話建議,「我也是,要不我們結伴吧?」195Please respect copyright.PENANAGxE8zYVk0w
195Please respect copyright.PENANAsjhCmfK7sq
「哈哈哈哈你們倆還真是般配——」195Please respect copyright.PENANAJZ9EYYmYMp
195Please respect copyright.PENANAJ0Vm8umHHO
眾人笑鬧成一團,那對男女被同學們說得臉紅了。195Please respect copyright.PENANAijMrOGsvTN
195Please respect copyright.PENANAf5pDLWoejx
十七、八歲的年紀,本就應該意氣風發,昂首挺胸,耀眼熱烈。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAkBhTCZUshl
195Please respect copyright.PENANAlSYcVLIeAm
向菱卻是在此時變得心不在焉,默默退出了討論。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAmgRpqP6t6c
195Please respect copyright.PENANArfbox4WJDC
她一直以來,都有些迷惘。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAu6Rafv3tyd
195Please respect copyright.PENANAnP7p6amnif
少女悄然離開剛才嬉鬧著的人群,沒有目標的閒晃,直到她莫名其妙地抵達了教室外稍遠偏僻的走廊。195Please respect copyright.PENANAVGFWlAkcZN
195Please respect copyright.PENANAsUDqCHJ9Sa
那裡是安靜而沒有人煙的地方。 楊宛問了她不少關於將來的問題,她卻經常回答不上來。 195Please respect copyright.PENANA8F1cGdsr88
195Please respect copyright.PENANA0IUPUt9TOX
「北渝市不錯啊,而且你已經是文學界的大人物了,感覺很有前途嘛。」195Please respect copyright.PENANAiVA2EOHQu6
195Please respect copyright.PENANApFkBxkF2Al
向菱不知道怎麼回應這種話。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAdXvvhwGbmW
195Please respect copyright.PENANAHs2bMGkC6q
因為她當初會步入文學,只是為了躲避身後的經濟、心理壓力,她只是想遠離。195Please respect copyright.PENANAiYIChFxdYs
195Please respect copyright.PENANA7lmr0qootG
那時候,鄭娟因為向里的過世而開始出現異常行為,經濟困頓,她沒有專長又未達可以打工的年紀,於是只好拿出自己的興趣。195Please respect copyright.PENANAPElcAvylr3
195Please respect copyright.PENANAmrztWuPjz9
結果最後越走越遠,她已經看不見家庭了。195Please respect copyright.PENANAKzlswiKM2a
195Please respect copyright.PENANAstuONhmX7i
自那以後,她逐漸把寫故事當成了工作,而不是原先最純粹的興趣。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAsGxTMqB7Lo
195Please respect copyright.PENANAL3EGURCVot
思考大綱成為習慣,那麼提筆寫作就是例行公事。195Please respect copyright.PENANAeIFsiII3z1
195Please respect copyright.PENANAihwgR57B0P
她仍然喜歡文字,仍會從故事裡得到快樂,不過她好像成為了一個工作狂,也對這樣的現況感到迷惑。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAwq2aIkwQg6
195Please respect copyright.PENANA2zPoawW3pn
向菱覺得自己還挺矛盾的,遲遲想不通。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAl792ugRgM0
195Please respect copyright.PENANAcIjWu4mhPd
她想起前陣子,室友王曉認真問過她的話。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAO3RiBASukc
195Please respect copyright.PENANAYBpjGc1qNy
「你有想過未來嗎?」195Please respect copyright.PENANAFHdJlE4GfN
195Please respect copyright.PENANA7obesp22JK
——怎麼想?195Please respect copyright.PENANAsD2N6P4Yqr
195Please respect copyright.PENANAlm8GgC5QiA
要怎麼想,才是正確的? 195Please respect copyright.PENANAm3kWJIVbsR
195Please respect copyright.PENANAlechIIAPnV
她那時候沒有回應,只是勉強扯了扯唇角,以示附和。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAF9GdGAyZ4u
195Please respect copyright.PENANACookurk27n
大家都具有計畫,擁有目標,唯有她卻像是迷路的小孩子似的,不知所措的站在交叉路口。195Please respect copyright.PENANA9u6grs4rp2
195Please respect copyright.PENANAtpvoLmikdA
向菱不知道有沒有人可以來拉她一把。 195Please respect copyright.PENANA2CC7SYGh5d
195Please respect copyright.PENANA2bXM0bNHlV
後來,大概又過了一段時間,文壇裡的朋友言恬,她說的話迫使少女開始直接面對另一件事。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAmftnVBbIiC
195Please respect copyright.PENANAbi47KWD8i7
——她似乎喜歡上一個人了。195Please respect copyright.PENANALfKjzrp2lN
195Please respect copyright.PENANADnZlg3x4AS
原來不知不覺間,她也抵達了,會因為學業和愛戀煩惱的年紀。195Please respect copyright.PENANAANQoagjQfO
195Please respect copyright.PENANAeJsZr5eOpQ
那些事讓她愈來愈困惑,無法立即下決定但又無法乾脆割捨,陷入一種無止境的內耗裡。 195Please respect copyright.PENANA3qFFXMakAd
195Please respect copyright.PENANA0jkP6TBcaT
這很不像向菱以往的風格,不乾脆,而且拖泥帶水。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAOfROOOIxSa
195Please respect copyright.PENANAMt3cNcbP45
她覺得越來越看不懂自己了。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAFkHbmnuTF1
195Please respect copyright.PENANAAyIOj7H1NJ
_ 195Please respect copyright.PENANARMgk1CsmYo
195Please respect copyright.PENANA7LR0gguanm
這麼稱呼似乎有點矯情,只不過她喜歡的人……算了,還是稱呼全名吧,祁澈。195Please respect copyright.PENANAr67ShVm8Mn
195Please respect copyright.PENANAyZXQtRD6e5
——她喜歡的人,祁澈,從中午那節午休之後就消失了、再也沒回教室了。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAVtsOsxwKPZ
195Please respect copyright.PENANAcboCVTIy1l
這種事不是第一次發生了,下午時向菱問過沈中奕,對方一臉莫名的丟給她一句——你第一天認識祁澈嗎?195Please respect copyright.PENANA2RpU1gVraC
195Please respect copyright.PENANAEh6qOxPfJA
…… 話雖如此,向菱還是有一點想找他說話。195Please respect copyright.PENANAoqYOPbgHo6
195Please respect copyright.PENANAw2xRqTrVTE
放學後,她打開手機,讓螢幕畫面在對話框裡停滯,一邊思忖著她應該說些什麼。 195Please respect copyright.PENANATrDny60sDy
195Please respect copyright.PENANAz938fhlZLd
「祁澈。」 195Please respect copyright.PENANAcOyBdDP1Oe
195Please respect copyright.PENANAPITNQidy6n
無意識的輸入了這個名字。 195Please respect copyright.PENANASJZhiMURnQ
195Please respect copyright.PENANADcWg8GP1no
彷彿肢體比她先記住,這個人的身影。195Please respect copyright.PENANAaPwpXXYAVD
195Please respect copyright.PENANAPC526YbbYu
奇怪了,她又不是失戀,只是和他說話的機會減少而已,自己在發什麼神經。195Please respect copyright.PENANAW2Mk3y2YUA
195Please respect copyright.PENANAkQI6l8AWKk
半個下午都過得魂不守舍,難道這個人是她過活必須的能量嗎?195Please respect copyright.PENANAwj2J1UWb3g
195Please respect copyright.PENANAe7OWIY7SSk
她腹誹了一會,手動刪掉輸入框的文字,重新輸入。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAlDFgs9oRE8
195Please respect copyright.PENANAHpXYvaUYYo
——「在嗎?」不對。195Please respect copyright.PENANAL6chCa5Q1l
195Please respect copyright.PENANAUdXLK7AkN7
意圖太明顯了。195Please respect copyright.PENANA0kxqFjHgcB
195Please respect copyright.PENANAXRPZIx5HC7
——「你在幹麼?」也不對,這樣未免太故意了點。195Please respect copyright.PENANAw5h5q32jsV
195Please respect copyright.PENANAn0EqhSzbIf
她猶豫著要發什麼訊息,最終還是沒發,盯著那個對話框框發怔。195Please respect copyright.PENANAuAYyT69zsu
195Please respect copyright.PENANAJ4UYa4tJMF
幾分鐘後,向菱挪動指尖,點按幾下手機,忽然突發奇想決定給他取個名稱備註。195Please respect copyright.PENANA7XuKoGKluq
195Please respect copyright.PENANAR5XyGnvsZo
指尖在空白的名稱框裡停頓了下。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAlkzEdIZdX4
195Please respect copyright.PENANAX6jNZ79Yqr
然後,她沒什麼猶豫的從手機鍵盤裡戳出一個「?」,想表示神秘又行蹤不明的意味。195Please respect copyright.PENANA62gDhK2cXI
195Please respect copyright.PENANA7JcdmORCsN
三秒鐘後又迅速刪掉,默默改成了別的內容。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAjniLERgKHR
195Please respect copyright.PENANA0ZtL1vlmQT
她怔了幾秒才按下確定按鈕,看著新備註,她突然覺得心裡樂得不行,唯一美中不足的是她有些羞恥。 195Please respect copyright.PENANA5PWIwI8JC3
195Please respect copyright.PENANAGzQlfLEqrd
新備註:「我才不喜歡他」。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAMVc3InfUVF
195Please respect copyright.PENANAM6Bt0nXCi3
看著新取的備註,少女的唇角壓抑不住地往上翹。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAdQBQSwOlaS
195Please respect copyright.PENANAA1hDi0RA4R
她還在傻笑,一則新訊息突然從底部彈出,對方的訊息竟然主動來了。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAurhODD3EoE
195Please respect copyright.PENANAq95Nn5dkdI
祁澈極少主動找她,所以向菱有點驚訝又有點愉悅,她點擊訊息閱讀。195Please respect copyright.PENANAa0bIaYSDe2
195Please respect copyright.PENANA2zaNqxmLvR
那封簡訊,簡單直接而且很有他的風格,只有一句「在嗎」,甚至沒有附上標點符號。 195Please respect copyright.PENANALBD4EzII3e
195Please respect copyright.PENANA7WbAcRrNsS
向菱本來打算秒回,但突然想起言恬的話,於是便退出聊天框,刻意延遲了幾分鐘才回覆。195Please respect copyright.PENANABmHYzj8AzP
195Please respect copyright.PENANAfeGVdCROOv
……意義不明的舉動,大概只有這麼傻的人才幹得出來。195Please respect copyright.PENANAy7Cc7bHwnO
195Please respect copyright.PENANAn9yFFixCMY
向菱:「在。」195Please respect copyright.PENANAL3W1X3ebbq
195Please respect copyright.PENANAkIihDOYvij
突然有些好奇對方給她取什麼備註。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAnwCw7ywlvJ
195Please respect copyright.PENANAw9OaaWNFM7
對面的訊息停頓了幾秒,像是在斟酌怎麼開始,然後才發送過來:「你在男生宿舍嗎。」195Please respect copyright.PENANAPngvC0s7Oi
195Please respect copyright.PENANAg40nY88W9f
教室換座位之後,向菱還是經常找祁小波玩耍,熟悉之後變得像姊妹一般親暱。195Please respect copyright.PENANAFCOJ1AtRjj
195Please respect copyright.PENANAWe9pBJrhU3
——只是,她很少在宿舍碰到祁澈。195Please respect copyright.PENANA5PJxd1VJnX
195Please respect copyright.PENANAKm1E3Nl1jG
想想也對,他似乎極為頻繁的打工。記得某天她路過魚市,碰見他在那裡幫忙一個老人將新鮮的魚隻裝進大袋子。195Please respect copyright.PENANAxfW9pjJEr0
195Please respect copyright.PENANAryp4FXJcVm
她知道他每天固定蹺掉的那節午休,都是去給祁小波帶飯的,但這不為其他人知道。195Please respect copyright.PENANA5XilbCyc4n
195Please respect copyright.PENANAfFKXgWh00f
向菱回覆:「祁小波感冒了啊,你早上說的,所以我今天沒過去。」195Please respect copyright.PENANACkfbqnj4hf
195Please respect copyright.PENANALn2yH4MpHX
「怎麼了嗎?」她敲下這行,然後送出。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAjRWoCx0qte
195Please respect copyright.PENANARmhGYZVTAK
訊息傳送到網路彼端,很快已讀,接著對方的文字沒幾秒又傳過來,「明天也別去那裡。」195Please respect copyright.PENANAfTNaBrawYA
195Please respect copyright.PENANAedBzDBjjo4
——向菱不懂他的意思。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAny3iILDJsx
195Please respect copyright.PENANA5KkAJfbsdV
她用一隻手指戳出單個符號:「?」195Please respect copyright.PENANArPX83bz0vg
195Please respect copyright.PENANAvQuYqr9FOz
這一次,祁澈的訊息許久沒有傳來回覆,久到她差點以為他網路掉線了。195Please respect copyright.PENANAcAa64W6F4C
195Please respect copyright.PENANAbtgtOrIDs9
從以前到現在,還是第一次出現這種情況。195Please respect copyright.PENANASm1s4KRleM
195Please respect copyright.PENANAxOKNV4Ni18
她常和祁小波玩,他沒阻止過。她經常去男生宿舍遛達,和小女孩一起亂翻他的東西,他也沒拒絕過。195Please respect copyright.PENANApinjtr6Ht7
195Please respect copyright.PENANAcAmJuD9hZd
向菱有點錯愕,心想這人的態度轉換得有些過快。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAOGGjgqEfvv
195Please respect copyright.PENANAseX5bfoBxM
她故作玩笑的發送,「你是被盜號了?」 195Please respect copyright.PENANAAk0YTPUqc7
195Please respect copyright.PENANAThv1Dw6ufI
「沒。」否認得倒還挺快。 195Please respect copyright.PENANABM3WoYJE6B
195Please respect copyright.PENANAvWMruoIHud
「那是怎麼了?我和小波約好明天要去公園盪鞦韆的。」 195Please respect copyright.PENANAdzctBCrmZs
195Please respect copyright.PENANALqeQsdasYd
「抱歉。」 195Please respect copyright.PENANApCXSpNawns
195Please respect copyright.PENANATIqDSI6ewb
少女打字的手驀地僵住了。195Please respect copyright.PENANAs3RUSmfy2I
195Please respect copyright.PENANAA3BzTmJbW7
其實她的第一反應是——這傢伙居然會道歉啊?真稀奇。195Please respect copyright.PENANAFKtSWWwahG
195Please respect copyright.PENANA38ZfgixTiz
緊接著她的思緒是這樣運轉的:等一下,他真的在道歉嗎?靠,好像是認真的,不對,他幹麼道歉?195Please respect copyright.PENANAeHYxRWX58j
195Please respect copyright.PENANAnzfLiGcCoH
為什麼要和她說抱歉?195Please respect copyright.PENANAyFTWEQVo1a
195Please respect copyright.PENANAEQQImr7F6d
一瞬間,她的腦子像是過載了,運轉不過來,甚至倏地空白。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAbwVIbb1Kz5
195Please respect copyright.PENANA6scS1m1pFN
這算什麼,變相拒絕還是撇清關係? 195Please respect copyright.PENANAPtArcWKYMO
195Please respect copyright.PENANAGNtubTF2B0
她首先聯想到的是電視上的八點檔連續劇。195Please respect copyright.PENANA3ShxxFhNSS
195Please respect copyright.PENANAjVQ6taVvHD
對不起我們不要再打擾彼此了、就這樣結束吧、再這樣下去也不會有結果……為什麼她滿腦子都是這種沒梗的俗濫台詞。195Please respect copyright.PENANAZmL6G7zmtK
195Please respect copyright.PENANAJRTbgdUXQN
突然就慌亂了起來。195Please respect copyright.PENANAI9R2ley2BL
195Please respect copyright.PENANAk0QLdrDrLC
但是喜歡一個人的心思,本來就是很敏感的,她知道自己反應不應該這麼大,因為一句抱歉。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAnzU35IJALC
195Please respect copyright.PENANAGAiIQHJzEC
又或者因為失去了一種可能「巧遇」他的機會。195Please respect copyright.PENANAoYvSSkf9Vt
195Please respect copyright.PENANAn4LT3pr21m
少女開始胡思亂想,腦袋一團暴亂。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAKRXQ3Yv78y
195Please respect copyright.PENANA1SGgoPzA3g
難道他已經意識到她的喜歡,於是決定開始疏遠她了嗎? 195Please respect copyright.PENANAilQP4Nvoom
195Please respect copyright.PENANA1sdvVhQBcL
她陷入一種莫名的恐慌裡,像是憑空懸浮於半空中,踩不到地板,像是失重。 195Please respect copyright.PENANALe6ajn0LOA
195Please respect copyright.PENANAvv98RpXmzH
這種感覺,一點都不踏實。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAsZF5iAwRQB
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_195Please respect copyright.PENANAC4CkJqCrS8
195Please respect copyright.PENANAsXhlan1frd
窗外陰雨綿綿,烏雲潛伏在暗色裡,連消失都悄然無聲。195Please respect copyright.PENANAAGUGt6LaJ5
195Please respect copyright.PENANAd1JvFZ8fLe
隔天是周休,但向菱絲毫開心不起來。195Please respect copyright.PENANA4RKC7LBzv0
195Please respect copyright.PENANAJqPqOnGVDu
她一旦變得鬱悶,就經常直接倒頭就睡,因為現實讓她覺得很累,睡眠做夢反倒是最好的去處。195Please respect copyright.PENANA0iWYT88nHh
195Please respect copyright.PENANABVKVbg3S7w
室友們見慣了她假日睡長覺的習慣,都見怪不怪,放輕了動靜,不驚擾到少女。195Please respect copyright.PENANAEZ2UbdaIKf
195Please respect copyright.PENANA799fbNg19H
她睡得比平時更晚了一點。195Please respect copyright.PENANAvPDRwhmk8k
195Please respect copyright.PENANAkSHxQ7STLK
下午起床時,她覺得胃臟空得發慌,腳步沉重虛浮,囫圇拆了幾包糖果餅乾了事。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAZRJots16kE
195Please respect copyright.PENANA9mzcDZOtGF
過了一小段時間,向菱才打起精神訂外賣。195Please respect copyright.PENANAGZBsl9udS3
195Please respect copyright.PENANAWWxoDkVSzE
簡單而隨便的向室友們打了招呼,她覺得自己的話音有氣無力。 195Please respect copyright.PENANAgwgur44gkM
195Please respect copyright.PENANA1u8HgXrYDG
半小時後,她坐在床上吃著外賣便當,一邊打開手機給言恬發訊息。195Please respect copyright.PENANA6p2C60E9Eu