好痛。244Please respect copyright.PENANAIM9qVv90dr
244Please respect copyright.PENANAR3YLF3yA9z
好痛,卻哭不出來。244Please respect copyright.PENANAUHb27aDEkQ
244Please respect copyright.PENANA1ygDkqdkxB
眼淚會讓人迷路。自從爸爸離家後,媽媽總是會對我這麼說。244Please respect copyright.PENANAaP90jbvuQY
244Please respect copyright.PENANApTbu1kcXeU
或許是因為如此,我才會忘了怎麼哭泣。244Please respect copyright.PENANAcSrBAhpgKe
244Please respect copyright.PENANAUXEzLgViA7
但,即使哭不出來,國一的那堂體育課,我的膝蓋仍綻開了血淋淋的傷口;而那位名叫艾瑪的同班同學,才會向呆坐在地上的我搭話。244Please respect copyright.PENANAaC4evyJJ5A
244Please respect copyright.PENANAQ50PsmoRTD
『你現在在哪裡?』244Please respect copyright.PENANA2DpXGbOQD8
244Please respect copyright.PENANAKQOHYludKa
說出這句令人摸不著頭緒的話語的,是因為孤僻的個性而在班上被欺負過幾次的陰森少女。244Please respect copyright.PENANAKLbh2NNnZ5
244Please respect copyright.PENANAVkURInebAR
雖然不受歡迎,卻長得很漂亮。墨水似的柔軟黑色長髮、洋娃娃一樣的細緻五官、怕被發現一般的淡淡薰衣草香。244Please respect copyright.PENANAIBrZwzlLYT
244Please respect copyright.PENANAXsg7GfGfKK
她微微掀起裙角,露出左腳的膝蓋。244Please respect copyright.PENANAEg2qMeFYA1
244Please respect copyright.PENANALr7D6HRCWo
一塊紗布包裹著那裡。244Please respect copyright.PENANACku8ixYifT
244Please respect copyright.PENANAPZnwjbKGLr
『我們都在這裡呢,露娜。』她向我微笑。244Please respect copyright.PENANAHdHqV2nX8k
244Please respect copyright.PENANAIMhVcQlpSg
如此怪異的說話方式,或許就是她會被欺負的原因吧。但我並不介意,因為我想我們在班上都一樣格格不入。244Please respect copyright.PENANAHV47CIJA9S
244Please respect copyright.PENANATaYcnox1xg
後來,她陪我一起到保健室。看見我沒有像其他同學一樣把她趕走,她似乎很開心。244Please respect copyright.PENANAGo03LXqgHd
244Please respect copyright.PENANASH11xSPaJO
從此以後,她變得只黏在我身邊。244Please respect copyright.PENANACU9QyOrNQ0
244Please respect copyright.PENANAJOtbE9nxYJ
我發現我們有許多相似之處。除了都很安靜以外,我們還喜歡看書,也喜歡畫畫。244Please respect copyright.PENANAxrhyDRkUNw
244Please respect copyright.PENANAyac5nkFWcb
她買了一本筆記本,與我在上課時互傳、輪流塗鴉。我很喜歡艾瑪的塗鴉,她會畫她養的短毛貓高斯,以及她跟姐姐、媽媽——是的,我們都沒有爸爸。高斯這個名字是她姐姐取的,她的姐姐似乎很聰明,在鎮上的大學裡做大腦相關的研究。244Please respect copyright.PENANAL0gDZ7vjYi
244Please respect copyright.PENANAT4KGrCGisW
轉眼間,我們就迎來國一升國二的暑假。放假後,我跟艾瑪常去不同地方玩,有時去逛書店,有時去看電影。244Please respect copyright.PENANAMm7ZQQoU8Z
244Please respect copyright.PENANAB42xH2QNyo
一次,我們去參觀科博館。那天艾瑪的話突然變得很多,到處向我介紹姐姐告訴過她的知識。244Please respect copyright.PENANAM5Nzp98nsn
244Please respect copyright.PENANAwLknoCHuFf
我記得她站在科博館二樓的大腦模型前面,平時暗沉沉的眼睛閃閃發光。244Please respect copyright.PENANAJuCcZacNuK
244Please respect copyright.PENANAHahN2jZqLR
『露娜,你現在在哪裡?』她這麼問我。244Please respect copyright.PENANA9ZVAaOKlLe
244Please respect copyright.PENANAFPmukrNOgi
又是這個奇怪的問題。244Please respect copyright.PENANANVMwQiXMQb
244Please respect copyright.PENANAAihyqosidq
她逕自接著說道,人們在某個時刻的思緒和感受,好比位在一張巨大地圖上的一個點;而那張地圖,解釋了我們從何而來,可以往哪裡去。244Please respect copyright.PENANAUQzytY75ij
244Please respect copyright.PENANAUOn2jT2L2W
可惜,那張地圖不是平的,而是立體的,或4、5,甚至更高次元的,所以科學家暫時還找不到它。若是找到了,人們就能知道怎麼從這件事想到那件事,怎麼從高興走到難過,怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。244Please respect copyright.PENANA9rMsUOo0uS
244Please respect copyright.PENANAx63IA2tezq
這些都是她姐姐告訴她的。當然,我一點也不知道她在說什麼。244Please respect copyright.PENANA4mPlc3RMST
244Please respect copyright.PENANAzIdrCfJEkg
開學後,我們又度過了數週平平無奇的學校生活。244Please respect copyright.PENANAZzjCXLaggy
244Please respect copyright.PENANAJfXlYLRrMI
上課、塗鴉、放學時一起回家,一切都看似毫無異狀。244Please respect copyright.PENANAl7Hhf2GLZa
244Please respect copyright.PENANANT1i9AIc5w
然而,隨著國二的尾聲到來,那件事情發生了。244Please respect copyright.PENANAyd9ZG3XJzB
244Please respect copyright.PENANAcTP8wXqhom
高斯死了。244Please respect copyright.PENANABAkYylDShT
244Please respect copyright.PENANAQoF7ccLGaE
這是在艾瑪因為難過而兩個禮拜都沒來學校後,才從她口中得知的事情。244Please respect copyright.PENANAmEjXw479WI
244Please respect copyright.PENANAvAdlHjz4S6
『就因為這樣?』244Please respect copyright.PENANA4Qgma5OsAA
244Please respect copyright.PENANAbFaFKuEATH
那節下課,站在艾瑪的座位前,我脫口而出這句話。244Please respect copyright.PENANA0pgzY02yW9
244Please respect copyright.PENANARzC1fYyb5m
我只是覺得她不因該讓自己那麼傷心。244Please respect copyright.PENANA1NdnZlpQ7L
244Please respect copyright.PENANAonWx1bCsnm
因為,眼淚會讓人迷路。244Please respect copyright.PENANA0qvbVvyxrX
244Please respect copyright.PENANAbOXM0Bn5iv
然而,艾瑪似乎無法理解我的意思。直到我看見她的臉垮下來,眼眶裡有淚水在打轉,我才知道我搞砸了。244Please respect copyright.PENANAZsElibjYhq
244Please respect copyright.PENANAHINcswEIIL
後來,直到放暑假,她都沒有再來學校。我想了想,決定傳訊息向她道歉,但她只回了一次「沒關係」,就再也沒有回過我之後的訊息了。244Please respect copyright.PENANAYDRqesZGcF
244Please respect copyright.PENANAhIKL1i9IPL
暑假過後,三年級的開學日,我再次遇見艾瑪。244Please respect copyright.PENANAFzZNMwXrwT
244Please respect copyright.PENANAdxXlEQshex
她的樣子變得古怪。她的眼神更加沒有生氣、更不愛說話,沒人知道她發生了什麼事。大家都避開她,而我也一直找不到機會跟她搭話,只能默默的觀察著她。那本筆記本上再也沒有新的塗鴉。244Please respect copyright.PENANAWEnmbXTQF7
244Please respect copyright.PENANAK9FOmeN8Ig
畢業後,我們又恰巧進入同一所高中。她就在我隔壁班。每次我經過,都會看見她一次比一次消瘦。244Please respect copyright.PENANA2gPFJGNWlV
244Please respect copyright.PENANA8PzwBm4znn
不久後,他們班的傳聞就傳到我們班上,說她得了癌症、她被家人虐待、她被附身了。有一次,我在辦公室聽到老師們聊到艾瑪,說她好像去了奇怪的教會。244Please respect copyright.PENANAcl81f274vh
244Please respect copyright.PENANA3UiwUlBpmU
高二接近尾聲的一日放學,我經過他們班,看到裡面空空如也。在她的座位上,我看見有幾束鮮花和燒過的蠟燭擺在那。244Please respect copyright.PENANAljoc2H3YyB
244Please respect copyright.PENANAXcClQ0ZpCG
艾瑪去世了。244Please respect copyright.PENANAVsOj3XdGnG
244Please respect copyright.PENANAlkJaGpYbQ7
她是DMT中毒致死的,DMT是一種毒品的樣子,鎮上的報導是這麼說的。我不知道艾瑪為什麼會吸毒,也不知道她從哪裡弄來這種毒藥。244Please respect copyright.PENANAIDaejyrwt6
244Please respect copyright.PENANA3rkC0NxXIb
然而,我告訴自己不能哭,不能迷路。大家都得在自己的路上繼續前進。244Please respect copyright.PENANAR38Xmf8hVR
244Please respect copyright.PENANAUWmxUzQB19
上課、作業、考試,一成不變的生活因此繼續運轉著,隔壁班似乎也一下子就忘了她。244Please respect copyright.PENANANmFZkTYnl0
244Please respect copyright.PENANA05R4gJlujq
但,就在放假前一週的生物課上,老師跟我們分享了一個科學上的新發現。244Please respect copyright.PENANA60HdDzYveF
244Please respect copyright.PENANAMwPxI1hV0K
他說科學家發現了一個多達數千億維的空間。這個空間記錄了人類大腦任何可能的思想狀態。科學家稱這個空間「意識宇宙」。244Please respect copyright.PENANAT8mUS041DA
244Please respect copyright.PENANA8vFIwEgZJM
當下,我想起了去科博館玩的那次,艾瑪所說的那張巨大地圖,還有怎麼從高興走到難過、怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。244Please respect copyright.PENANA6Ru8j9PRHF
244Please respect copyright.PENANAVZ3JD39LQc
我感到一陣反胃。在以內急當藉口離開教室後,我跑向廁所。244Please respect copyright.PENANA37HTchr59X
244Please respect copyright.PENANADiGwFrgNxv
跑著跑著,跟艾瑪有關的回憶不斷湧現。244Please respect copyright.PENANAYWrMCLwlpE
244Please respect copyright.PENANAOMRckpzxwv
首先,是我與艾瑪的最後一次對話。那時的我只是希望艾瑪不要因為難過而迷失了,但我現在卻隱約明白,有什麼注定讓艾瑪流淚。244Please respect copyright.PENANA1tKzOrIf3i
244Please respect copyright.PENANAHnhFMLjN3T
接著,是我們經歷過的種種。艾瑪和我暑假時常去的書店,艾瑪在筆記本上的塗鴉,還有艾瑪在那堂體育課向我說的那句話。244Please respect copyright.PENANAaNTPWYjiWt
244Please respect copyright.PENANA7JudgfOzq7
我頓時恍然大悟。艾瑪讓我看她膝蓋的傷,並不是想說我們受傷的地方一樣——244Please respect copyright.PENANAe9ICHGjkZB
244Please respect copyright.PENANAlLaH9UETWz
而是想告訴我,在那張以數億個維度所描繪的地圖上,我們在同一個地方。244Please respect copyright.PENANAmiKccLWDFw
244Please respect copyright.PENANA5EtBJGpaEr
我們一樣痛。244Please respect copyright.PENANABAd5DskLfR
244Please respect copyright.PENANAd0zUg3kFm7
——我現在在哪裡?244Please respect copyright.PENANAgNWDWqVtTq
244Please respect copyright.PENANAp8QDgwlAZh
好痛。244Please respect copyright.PENANADGXRoacpVm
244Please respect copyright.PENANAQa32MvEKmB
好痛,卻哭不出來。244Please respect copyright.PENANA7Bhs8U6qsl
244Please respect copyright.PENANA6gKsKgVEZm
胸口就像膝蓋那時的傷口一樣刺痛;我停步在走廊上,難受的蹲下。244Please respect copyright.PENANAirfKrfQD4J
244Please respect copyright.PENANAaZRwktvZOx
我好希望當我抬頭時,能看見艾瑪對我微笑。244Please respect copyright.PENANAxyy6rLIGik
244Please respect copyright.PENANAFM8dyauZ5r
但,倘若她還活著,或許只會回我一句「就因為這樣」。244Please respect copyright.PENANA4mr2wKsrkO
244Please respect copyright.PENANAfz5oz7nsoh
好痛,好憤怒。244Please respect copyright.PENANArNpjz6aCkc
244Please respect copyright.PENANAqkYvLEDlWC
艾瑪迷失時,我拋棄了她。244Please respect copyright.PENANA7hIxMrgkLm
244Please respect copyright.PENANAMTKVsx0EMS
我就這樣放手了,導致了這場悲劇。244Please respect copyright.PENANAqGbgoOISHC
244Please respect copyright.PENANApFyF5pPydC
艾瑪死後,我仍假裝自己沒有迷路。244Please respect copyright.PENANAoE1QdIeKa1
244Please respect copyright.PENANATAWgXLtO8q
假裝不珍惜她,作為我曾經最好的朋友。244Please respect copyright.PENANAAHyXVnSwZJ
244Please respect copyright.PENANAOZZ45SDwLm
突然,彷彿不留給我任何喘息的餘地一般,我的手機傳來震動。244Please respect copyright.PENANASyAT1dJuv7
244Please respect copyright.PENANAyFr8iI7U8V
我懺抖著從口袋中拿出手機,將恍惚的目光投向螢幕。244Please respect copyright.PENANAixWERF1AZx
244Please respect copyright.PENANAZNfzpsHixo
我看見通知欄顯示的屬名和訊息內容。一時之間,我所有的思緒都停滯了。244Please respect copyright.PENANA5uWhI0bVxJ
244Please respect copyright.PENANAcSWdnjeQcz
『艾瑪:』244Please respect copyright.PENANAQdAA3JsRig
244Please respect copyright.PENANAngiTMAq5Vk
『來地圖上找我。』244Please respect copyright.PENANApcYh2FelKS
244Please respect copyright.PENANAqc5L1Rfce0