好痛。271Please respect copyright.PENANAvGROhodMcv
271Please respect copyright.PENANAbo4y0GmoZZ
好痛,卻哭不出來。271Please respect copyright.PENANAT5ZWk5FwH9
271Please respect copyright.PENANANRbOZYidDf
眼淚會讓人迷路。自從爸爸離家後,媽媽總是會對我這麼說。271Please respect copyright.PENANA2b7Ux59Gf0
271Please respect copyright.PENANAl9WE452pQy
或許是因為如此,我才會忘了怎麼哭泣。271Please respect copyright.PENANA1H5Ub0JEfV
271Please respect copyright.PENANAw3MURL39sn
但,即使哭不出來,國一的那堂體育課,我的膝蓋仍綻開了血淋淋的傷口;而那位名叫艾瑪的同班同學,才會向呆坐在地上的我搭話。271Please respect copyright.PENANAsmTtSpaYlJ
271Please respect copyright.PENANATinWe16oJn
『你現在在哪裡?』271Please respect copyright.PENANATKNn4Kbhg7
271Please respect copyright.PENANABymNdLpfCW
說出這句令人摸不著頭緒的話語的,是因為孤僻的個性而在班上被欺負過幾次的陰森少女。271Please respect copyright.PENANAGNB7DsAzik
271Please respect copyright.PENANAyRadErwcsE
雖然不受歡迎,卻長得很漂亮。墨水似的柔軟黑色長髮、洋娃娃一樣的細緻五官、怕被發現一般的淡淡薰衣草香。271Please respect copyright.PENANAkiYdOKiPPg
271Please respect copyright.PENANAsuI0SAVXWe
她微微掀起裙角,露出左腳的膝蓋。271Please respect copyright.PENANAuWmH56vRM1
271Please respect copyright.PENANAOT2j7U1UAA
一塊紗布包裹著那裡。271Please respect copyright.PENANAjrzsXCo9MK
271Please respect copyright.PENANA961ER5Ct33
『我們都在這裡呢,露娜。』她向我微笑。271Please respect copyright.PENANAf2vmH8PU7l
271Please respect copyright.PENANAMOsNioggAS
如此怪異的說話方式,或許就是她會被欺負的原因吧。但我並不介意,因為我想我們在班上都一樣格格不入。271Please respect copyright.PENANAkEiyQ4LlfC
271Please respect copyright.PENANAwgl1m9J3bS
後來,她陪我一起到保健室。看見我沒有像其他同學一樣把她趕走,她似乎很開心。271Please respect copyright.PENANAaeGwP6sual
271Please respect copyright.PENANAE0es56zLgN
從此以後,她變得只黏在我身邊。271Please respect copyright.PENANAujpUNGUkSP
271Please respect copyright.PENANAUw59B2tQFt
我發現我們有許多相似之處。除了都很安靜以外,我們還喜歡看書,也喜歡畫畫。271Please respect copyright.PENANAoZe7CLhvzm
271Please respect copyright.PENANAwf5QDC7vkQ
她買了一本筆記本,與我在上課時互傳、輪流塗鴉。我很喜歡艾瑪的塗鴉,她會畫她養的短毛貓高斯,以及她跟姐姐、媽媽——是的,我們都沒有爸爸。高斯這個名字是她姐姐取的,她的姐姐似乎很聰明,在鎮上的大學裡做大腦相關的研究。271Please respect copyright.PENANAjwLMBeKKBf
271Please respect copyright.PENANAhcSNEbBnwo
轉眼間,我們就迎來國一升國二的暑假。放假後,我跟艾瑪常去不同地方玩,有時去逛書店,有時去看電影。271Please respect copyright.PENANAp8LB1hQoWW
271Please respect copyright.PENANA2p9p0QifMQ
一次,我們去參觀科博館。那天艾瑪的話突然變得很多,到處向我介紹姐姐告訴過她的知識。271Please respect copyright.PENANAmC20m0Paml
271Please respect copyright.PENANA86BuTipk2O
我記得她站在科博館二樓的大腦模型前面,平時暗沉沉的眼睛閃閃發光。271Please respect copyright.PENANAN6IfM4hlQt
271Please respect copyright.PENANAjj26qbleNH
『露娜,你現在在哪裡?』她這麼問我。271Please respect copyright.PENANAIn1ZYgmwbP
271Please respect copyright.PENANAZ8jk9XIvny
又是這個奇怪的問題。271Please respect copyright.PENANAjmkj9ocGIo
271Please respect copyright.PENANA3xYI6Pn792
她逕自接著說道,人們在某個時刻的思緒和感受,好比位在一張巨大地圖上的一個點;而那張地圖,解釋了我們從何而來,可以往哪裡去。271Please respect copyright.PENANApVJFNjYJY5
271Please respect copyright.PENANAoUwgOtA21I
可惜,那張地圖不是平的,而是立體的,或4、5,甚至更高次元的,所以科學家暫時還找不到它。若是找到了,人們就能知道怎麼從這件事想到那件事,怎麼從高興走到難過,怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。271Please respect copyright.PENANAGRXWitpDKs
271Please respect copyright.PENANAyEnFJDpXEb
這些都是她姐姐告訴她的。當然,我一點也不知道她在說什麼。271Please respect copyright.PENANAi26Ce3Ddq5
271Please respect copyright.PENANAoMxgVKBzNr
開學後,我們又度過了數週平平無奇的學校生活。271Please respect copyright.PENANAjaafB64ZQq
271Please respect copyright.PENANAnIP9PDsWTD
上課、塗鴉、放學時一起回家,一切都看似毫無異狀。271Please respect copyright.PENANAe4hLiwflTt
271Please respect copyright.PENANAPwU6nboG52
然而,隨著國二的尾聲到來,那件事情發生了。271Please respect copyright.PENANAySvVwymBdb
271Please respect copyright.PENANA8AeN0L6MV9
高斯死了。271Please respect copyright.PENANAf61Ac3aXkk
271Please respect copyright.PENANAgv5M3dPRxd
這是在艾瑪因為難過而兩個禮拜都沒來學校後,才從她口中得知的事情。271Please respect copyright.PENANA4I0DqA0OUH
271Please respect copyright.PENANA29gc4Ln3nN
『就因為這樣?』271Please respect copyright.PENANAl5ldXaJYmY
271Please respect copyright.PENANA5g5Ch4tCJj
那節下課,站在艾瑪的座位前,我脫口而出這句話。271Please respect copyright.PENANAxG4vSSq1F7
271Please respect copyright.PENANAxnKmwItLIm
我只是覺得她不因該讓自己那麼傷心。271Please respect copyright.PENANAyeupii2SN4
271Please respect copyright.PENANA3r6IkyDami
因為,眼淚會讓人迷路。271Please respect copyright.PENANANg22muqmgp
271Please respect copyright.PENANAiF41U5jqbp
然而,艾瑪似乎無法理解我的意思。直到我看見她的臉垮下來,眼眶裡有淚水在打轉,我才知道我搞砸了。271Please respect copyright.PENANAUVVdKy74PW
271Please respect copyright.PENANANwxhCwqtgC
後來,直到放暑假,她都沒有再來學校。我想了想,決定傳訊息向她道歉,但她只回了一次「沒關係」,就再也沒有回過我之後的訊息了。271Please respect copyright.PENANAxGcDGF941k
271Please respect copyright.PENANAs0bZ0LRe8p
暑假過後,三年級的開學日,我再次遇見艾瑪。271Please respect copyright.PENANAHlUYtViTX5
271Please respect copyright.PENANAgJwPYjqHJh
她的樣子變得古怪。她的眼神更加沒有生氣、更不愛說話,沒人知道她發生了什麼事。大家都避開她,而我也一直找不到機會跟她搭話,只能默默的觀察著她。那本筆記本上再也沒有新的塗鴉。271Please respect copyright.PENANAbauJTkt1fm
271Please respect copyright.PENANAljVVoy4vbm
畢業後,我們又恰巧進入同一所高中。她就在我隔壁班。每次我經過,都會看見她一次比一次消瘦。271Please respect copyright.PENANACW1IshrL9b
271Please respect copyright.PENANAUj19axW4HC
不久後,他們班的傳聞就傳到我們班上,說她得了癌症、她被家人虐待、她被附身了。有一次,我在辦公室聽到老師們聊到艾瑪,說她好像去了奇怪的教會。271Please respect copyright.PENANAwZUuhbQN9R
271Please respect copyright.PENANAhfd5BYDuFP
高二接近尾聲的一日放學,我經過他們班,看到裡面空空如也。在她的座位上,我看見有幾束鮮花和燒過的蠟燭擺在那。271Please respect copyright.PENANA7MqHg3WjQM
271Please respect copyright.PENANADD6Kbp5A1K
艾瑪去世了。271Please respect copyright.PENANAzxvN11SLaJ
271Please respect copyright.PENANAq1TlzyqCns
她是DMT中毒致死的,DMT是一種毒品的樣子,鎮上的報導是這麼說的。我不知道艾瑪為什麼會吸毒,也不知道她從哪裡弄來這種毒藥。271Please respect copyright.PENANAB8qj3oO7pI
271Please respect copyright.PENANA7sH3ydkLUh
然而,我告訴自己不能哭,不能迷路。大家都得在自己的路上繼續前進。271Please respect copyright.PENANAgfQowpEoUP
271Please respect copyright.PENANAfom8iQbx3Y
上課、作業、考試,一成不變的生活因此繼續運轉著,隔壁班似乎也一下子就忘了她。271Please respect copyright.PENANA3do1e3N5Qv
271Please respect copyright.PENANADmHJOR5jjA
但,就在放假前一週的生物課上,老師跟我們分享了一個科學上的新發現。271Please respect copyright.PENANAH7JH24JMj6
271Please respect copyright.PENANAyB1UWY07n3
他說科學家發現了一個多達數千億維的空間。這個空間記錄了人類大腦任何可能的思想狀態。科學家稱這個空間「意識宇宙」。271Please respect copyright.PENANAuT8h0UOYpe
271Please respect copyright.PENANAPUFWDK6yTQ
當下,我想起了去科博館玩的那次,艾瑪所說的那張巨大地圖,還有怎麼從高興走到難過、怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。271Please respect copyright.PENANAyeT670h7O2
271Please respect copyright.PENANA6UJ3BUv9R5
我感到一陣反胃。在以內急當藉口離開教室後,我跑向廁所。271Please respect copyright.PENANAqaUZiOHQSY
271Please respect copyright.PENANAp0K5UAYNOq
跑著跑著,跟艾瑪有關的回憶不斷湧現。271Please respect copyright.PENANAFu141Li4x3
271Please respect copyright.PENANAEN8gE32Io0
首先,是我與艾瑪的最後一次對話。那時的我只是希望艾瑪不要因為難過而迷失了,但我現在卻隱約明白,有什麼注定讓艾瑪流淚。271Please respect copyright.PENANAUD7YHWHwhE
271Please respect copyright.PENANAgN7BfCaSYO
接著,是我們經歷過的種種。艾瑪和我暑假時常去的書店,艾瑪在筆記本上的塗鴉,還有艾瑪在那堂體育課向我說的那句話。271Please respect copyright.PENANAHP8Won2knJ
271Please respect copyright.PENANA1b3lm0yLte
我頓時恍然大悟。艾瑪讓我看她膝蓋的傷,並不是想說我們受傷的地方一樣——271Please respect copyright.PENANAmXlmApLHfn
271Please respect copyright.PENANAjVFLaHJVr8
而是想告訴我,在那張以數億個維度所描繪的地圖上,我們在同一個地方。271Please respect copyright.PENANALJmudX6wtN
271Please respect copyright.PENANAGgl1v4vlZq
我們一樣痛。271Please respect copyright.PENANAOT84h1LzHm
271Please respect copyright.PENANArW3llAAoHb
——我現在在哪裡?271Please respect copyright.PENANA1yHmNMeKiL
271Please respect copyright.PENANAsEu0gUA2ND
好痛。271Please respect copyright.PENANAA1tIS8LRA6
271Please respect copyright.PENANAnM66XhBfYn
好痛,卻哭不出來。271Please respect copyright.PENANAwkxuJZVvan
271Please respect copyright.PENANABthxhHTuo7
胸口就像膝蓋那時的傷口一樣刺痛;我停步在走廊上,難受的蹲下。271Please respect copyright.PENANAsNBalvn7qx
271Please respect copyright.PENANA07HEMbnOXp
我好希望當我抬頭時,能看見艾瑪對我微笑。271Please respect copyright.PENANAQrOlI1rt41
271Please respect copyright.PENANAyoZxI6jdTP
但,倘若她還活著,或許只會回我一句「就因為這樣」。271Please respect copyright.PENANANeTV9xHFp6
271Please respect copyright.PENANAwx2vXTS6gP
好痛,好憤怒。271Please respect copyright.PENANA2UmPRbU4zA
271Please respect copyright.PENANAI9tTz8wKtN
艾瑪迷失時,我拋棄了她。271Please respect copyright.PENANAfjb1sDLehP
271Please respect copyright.PENANAyWFnr57Pqq
我就這樣放手了,導致了這場悲劇。271Please respect copyright.PENANAaoKpyRstKW
271Please respect copyright.PENANAv2HXjScQ1m
艾瑪死後,我仍假裝自己沒有迷路。271Please respect copyright.PENANAEcD5c0Khf7
271Please respect copyright.PENANAI5WPCSCJAs
假裝不珍惜她,作為我曾經最好的朋友。271Please respect copyright.PENANAWe99Ivkct2
271Please respect copyright.PENANAfzgg5LZHEE
突然,彷彿不留給我任何喘息的餘地一般,我的手機傳來震動。271Please respect copyright.PENANAnbXTDMTJaY
271Please respect copyright.PENANAxZzIypZ2wd
我懺抖著從口袋中拿出手機,將恍惚的目光投向螢幕。271Please respect copyright.PENANA9Y9tO2QVXO
271Please respect copyright.PENANAkIFXJsYgfU
我看見通知欄顯示的屬名和訊息內容。一時之間,我所有的思緒都停滯了。271Please respect copyright.PENANAq7tEjm6M57
271Please respect copyright.PENANAhRgF1EyVWG
『艾瑪:』271Please respect copyright.PENANAB6mS1bYDEW
271Please respect copyright.PENANATIUxYDPCfC
『來地圖上找我。』271Please respect copyright.PENANAfoCrf4YMnM
271Please respect copyright.PENANAYN3PX1i3B9