以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJh8ldtdJm
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVseCPSP55
感謝參與～220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoU9DbXG6D7
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGmowy0xAs
老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKRIIVMqP3
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTAbPCUH1b
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Tm34J1g0Z
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRUx4bl43j
～～～～分隔線～～～～220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9H6xPfdLTz
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoTVhd0xsD
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyp3gQfggXn
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfi4m3Zp0O
〈限制和自由〉220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihjeoAKba5
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgTfCall1h
penana.com/article/1024895220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kdFI2bo0n
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdn65Mo0bIA
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaKwwFdQJ3
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibRh08miL4
詩度 0。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDDom0Dxth
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSSLm91G9j
～～～～分隔線～～～～220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUQHsD4lKJ
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgr23mqo9I
〈問〉220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rdDVqUvs9
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3FmDmTceB
penana.com/article/1024944220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMpcHd8o7q
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZRplDAtkH
詩度高一點。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWatdvjx5Sv
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4U2P8gO0C
～～～～分隔線～～～～220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiduF6SEKLl
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hxZqGT5WM
〈摩天之輪〉220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjhiuoFVJu
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqx3YE2q61
penana.com/article/1045705220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzxYM5HhRx
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHJcglmQZM
詩度再高一點。
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8kVpxgmpA
～～～～分隔線～～～～
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjb77D3pRs
〈蝴蝶酥〉220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7ERfX8rTW
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SeA3bL7ut
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCzZTc6aXu
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDNzc5Fr39
詩度比前三首都高。
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYi7ewXUWU9
～～～～分隔線～～～～
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcqR2gnOTo
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMIn6monUb
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXeaXpEP7x
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mIap6VVoV
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysS5dXSXeo
跟你分享。
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0CLubiDvL
～～～～分隔線～～～～
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOn70pLV43
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnPvug9WNo
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeOmJByOmV
【認識新詩的基本元素】220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfC9fqO13n2
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9FY4E7ios
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUFCUY9XjY
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWjKXiG7cO
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5imJi1A6Ut
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNB5vmHxal
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnOH9TbTeQ
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKm77mNjCBO
【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6BHERH8eg
這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhC68E9cVS
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpQqFvgizo
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWnHs5n9bI
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpw2cyQANHW
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzCfSw4ZHP
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCKQLgpRwg
【這次全新寫的感想】
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UZsn6PpO9
我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉作例子：
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfS2MWv0dK
〈詠栗〉
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MhdYq9dV8
殼斗，第一層愛
張牙舞爪威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
豐美的內在
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn08fiQgIiU
剝去愛，尚有
木訥果皮和刻苦種皮
無口而全然
環抱整個子代
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cEfBV45Ax
充盈在手中打開
當秋天到來
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGx2iaxyAW4
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkDwTHgGCG
如果寫成
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJNqOFItHu
〈詠栗〉
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFQDatQJme
殼斗，第一層皮
長滿尖刺威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
內在的果實
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBR0re8W1oA
剝去殼，尚有
木質果皮和苦味種皮
沒有裂口而且完全
包覆整個子葉
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7e8so2pu6b
栗子在手中打開
當秋天到來
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaPQem8qIG
詩度就不見啦，成為一篇分行的散文，而且是說明文。
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFdFZexXkO
會寫詩的讀者，可將自己詩裡的詩句 (＝變句)，換成一般常用的句子 (＝常句) 玩玩看；而苦惱於抓不到詩度的讀者，反其道而行，將自己作品的句子，改動幾個詞彙，以「一般不會這樣用」的語詞 (也可改變詞性) 代替，或可抓到一點詩的感覺。
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnvROVx4G9
當然，現代詩的面向不僅在於詞彙，但這是一個開始。
220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuF0xtZpWf
祝各位被詩淋透，不，淋得半濕就好。
ns216.73.216.254da2
