以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2UnS7voB8
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwiPA7Ek2r
感謝參與～194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWJ0YN7z1l
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkXHVcEdSw
老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDv25srPBnO
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAowNeTLk0
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLU4AyI95G
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Tynx28bRK
～～～～分隔線～～～～194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddic2jJ82m
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TPTZtwy5q
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgm3CXaOGs
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqFBe2SzFP
〈限制和自由〉194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3cIUnDIKh
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fHoL1U7uC
penana.com/article/1024895194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mkwVAYDq2
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVvVDB7na3
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxdMKPjwFY
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8KyoA9iSN
詩度 0。194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGYt2mcBZm
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOxoXjzDB5
～～～～分隔線～～～～194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrdZS29Bs1
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPxhZcxNxB
〈問〉194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgh2aPzYjqp
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPd4VhXk4B1
penana.com/article/1024944194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTyG7AqOZp
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmh75BhOEnH
詩度高一點。194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrUnXSjpzL
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHBEpscbJW
～～～～分隔線～～～～194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNValSSDAnX
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2Afvxq2qV
〈摩天之輪〉194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFMw7XcWkQ
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8nYpqTBAd
penana.com/article/1045705194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqd3XoPR9j6
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivkiDZ5YOr
詩度再高一點。
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj56qiIg378
～～～～分隔線～～～～
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJCYmyPK8v
〈蝴蝶酥〉194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXXdzbWejt
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lCBNJmjur
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOiXEUNMte
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbWmzCnnUt
詩度比前三首都高。
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZA2truwS3s
～～～～分隔線～～～～
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4DQtAyTac
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXv4vCYbjSf
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVPC4I8vak
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZRzH17ZmV
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzi1JhUWjI
跟你分享。
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqrFsZPt6b
～～～～分隔線～～～～
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ601tpADH7s
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHn1R9TjGf
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUITt74X7jA
【認識新詩的基本元素】194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QULpcgXqF
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFn1qh6hlX
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6ziScEIJb
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0mA9aWFmM
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUy8xi4MZl
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1LvJsmxlu
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrCXCA42ZK
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKiRl6tLwG
【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2N4neIGkL7
這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQYTyqPs5m
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0jA0DTpBx
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHT981JY1RC
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVVE8C1A1E
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9ZMEU8a9y
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2pTr7CsO1
【這次全新寫的感想】
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxO8Pm5BU9
我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉作例子：
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTM8WBJ0VP
〈詠栗〉
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bmpR1rmKK
殼斗，第一層愛
張牙舞爪威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
豐美的內在
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQfmAuT5AP
剝去愛，尚有
木訥果皮和刻苦種皮
無口而全然
環抱整個子代
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpEMpy559P
充盈在手中打開
當秋天到來
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipEmW4PEa3
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZFvQgeF0K
如果寫成
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzsRrZGKrT
〈詠栗〉
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGYutSvPIv
殼斗，第一層皮
長滿尖刺威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
內在的果實
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tUEwXWppQ
剝去殼，尚有
木質果皮和苦味種皮
沒有裂口而且完全
包覆整個子葉
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHOJF7mCmk
栗子在手中打開
當秋天到來
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8D6lxlwhCT
詩度就不見啦，成為一篇分行的散文，而且是說明文。
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotWWmwlgmJ
會寫詩的讀者，可將自己詩裡的詩句 (＝變句)，換成一般常用的句子 (＝常句) 玩玩看；而苦惱於抓不到詩度的讀者，反其道而行，將自己作品的句子，改動幾個詞彙，以「一般不會這樣用」的語詞 (也可改變詞性) 代替，或可抓到一點詩的感覺。
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB46BHuwzh2
當然，現代詩的面向不僅在於詞彙，但這是一個開始。
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2b52LrRTo
祝各位被詩淋透，不，淋得半濕就好。
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