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#5

山寨妙麗之我一舉手就是在召喚地獄

辛波棉 辛波棉
Apr 20, 2025 80 2 Mins Read
x
No Plagiarism!0WA9zgoxh6AGNuL2ME8kposted on PＥNAＮＡ

我真的有一種恐懼，是對上一種人。

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nSQssl85q

像《哈利波特》第一集電影版的妙麗——

老師問題還沒問完，手已經高高舉起，根本就快要站起來那種，彷彿生怕全世界不知道她存在一樣。

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoNXuzrnnP

然後黏在老師屁股後面當永不疲憊的「優等生」。

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TAQeVEEJS

但有種人，比妙麗in real life還可怕，84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCbufEjDFF

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlv5E0WzV2f

就是沒能力也不聰明，但是還要舉手讓別人以為他是妙麗那種人。

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkDcW0xbXU

我遇到了，就是X。

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94YR8qW8Yd

一開始就耳聞他是那種「小報告型」人才，專門緊跟上司屁股，

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjuFdqpLrg
84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6zDZI8FdG

仗著嘴皮子幫人捅刀、搞陰招，辦公室經典劍貨代表——用劍的貨色。84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PBJMaJLna

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDND7qih0js

等一下，我太含蓄了，他是劍的批發商才對。

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo74H1RUnlL

後來某種宇宙業報，

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJR8pvaWexZ

也可能是升遷亂流，

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2x7WzoXZLx
84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0ibegwaky

他被調來我們team，

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHpF1F4LpO
84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWHOJNay73

命運趁機開了我一個不好笑的玩笑——我還要指導他。84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtOJiO5ljV

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzTvKSspTw

我真的謝謝命運。

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fFVI9iHhr

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWsvEh1lCl

在我不情不願的開始指導他，

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkg7dL4o6Hz

告訴他什麼東西該怎麼做時。

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNivYdI8iS

我發誓我每句話都說不到三分之一，

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUa3PBCN6CX

就被他的

「這個我知道」、「這個我會」打斷。

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9twmUupVDf

一次兩次還好，當每一次都這樣，

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2vkyBIUXL

我真的會像康熙的小s一樣。

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98mN8OUlFo

「不要吵！！」（封面圖片支援）

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaneEAXhM9

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dGMLGkc7h

然後這位「什麼都知道」的劍貨，

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypIEBFWO8z

想當然，下班之前，

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXqHeE2uwe

交出了一張全錯的傑作。84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljiOCmWPYp

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnlJmvL8Ar

他在錯誤的路上穩定輸出，

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HhE1BA9yS

簡直擁有史上最驚人的KDA —0/99/0。

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnDJQWaB3Q

沒有一件代辦事項是對的。

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZ4hnd87rY

Hello?這個我會？這我知道？

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGSzNGTUvl

你除了知道怎麼打小報告，

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswiNkzoW8P

背後捅同事刀之外，

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUqZ4GjJlU

你還知道些什麼？

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJ95eHTnfj

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogZVRE5Ufc

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbi4NWDXB3

我現在跟瓜爾佳氏一樣，舉手發誓，

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjV5Tz8Oi2t

我真的快崩潰了，84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRL4XLXe8k

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEGiybPO10

只差沒有在雨天奔跑，大喊皇后娘娘申冤。

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoC5mbb0qHD

我的職位是負責擦屁股的嗎？

我是擦屁股大使嗎？

我是便便使者嗎？

我在替人擦屁股的路上，不斷加班。

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpYjQD6Db9

唐綺陽，我是不是又水逆了？

還是我的星盤整個掉進馬桶裡了？

84Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCa4efiWJx

誰來救救我好嗎，拜託。

216.73.216.197

ns216.73.216.197da2
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Table of Contents
#0 Intro
#1 平行宇宙編劇產生器
#2 沈默是金，但他沒有這個東西。
#3 巨嬰女友踩地雷，一踩就把我踩成社交祭品
#4 這個作品其實叫做「八婆叔叔的碎碎念」
#5 山寨妙麗之我一舉手就是在召喚地獄
#6 幫我撐10秒———氣爆加班斬
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