I feel like loneliness will never let me go.
I should adapt to it, but still—it bothers me deeply.
I ask myself: What does a girl really want?
Maybe I just need a person who will love me completely—not a princess on a white horse...
I want people who will prefer me over others,
people I can turn to—any time—
whether I’m happy or sad.
I want someone who won’t sell me for their own benefits,
someone who likes me the way I like him.
You know, everyone around me has someone they trust,
someone who chooses them,
but not me—as always.
When I was a child, during every fight with my parents, I was alone.
I don’t have siblings,
so I was always the one asking for forgiveness.
I didn’t want to be alone.
In elementary school, they were my besties,
but I wasn’t their bestie.
It’s been like this ever since.
Now, I’m not afraid of being alone,
but loneliness still lingers.
I was in a relationship for 2 years and 7 months,
and he still preferred his friends.
Now I’m in a new relationship—
but maybe it’s worse.
Maybe I mean nothing to him.
But every time I try to leave,
I can’t.
Because if I go,
I really won’t have anyone.
Sometimes I wish I had siblings—like a big brother.
I would support him, and he would support me.
But I don’t.
In the old days, I was a stone for my cousins to rely on.
I tried so hard to keep them strong through difficult paths.
But when it came to me—
when it was my turn to enter adult life—
I was alone.