「我係雙手染滿鮮血嘅罪人,我應該去死。」掃羅不斷重覆這幾句話,失神地走回房間,他走著走著,竟在梯級間絆倒,一面往地上撞去。他自然地用手擋著,但那撞擊力仍把他嘴唇撞破。但濃郁的鐵銹味沒有喚醒他,他仍是行屍走肉般走著,唸著:「我應該去死。」10Please respect copyright.PENANAMPBE5NAqkX
「你有罪,但你唔係唔可以改變。死咗乜嘢問題都改變唔到。掃羅,與其自怨自艾,不如用餘生贖罪啦。」10Please respect copyright.PENANAIwOj6COIVt
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「啊仔?哎啊,你做乜撞傷咗啊,畀我睇下。」10Please respect copyright.PENANARkokcDRhFs
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掃羅一手拂開母親,「砰」一聲關上門。他覺得自己不配受這份愛。10Please respect copyright.PENANAeyZVW5ag9Z
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「砰砰砰!」「啊仔?你點啊,你唔好嚇我啊!家嫂⋯⋯」10Please respect copyright.PENANAB1VcGcz04T
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掃羅如石像般坐著,拉長著臉。漸漸,他下顎的肌肉也變得僵硬。在漆黑的長夜中,他望著窗外,徹夜無眠。10Please respect copyright.PENANAdmX5prVOxL
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「死咗,乜都改變唔到。但我,我可以做到啲乜嘢好事?」10Please respect copyright.PENANAzBoeGAAto2
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在晨光熹微的時候,他終於抵不住疲勞,終於,陷入了一片黑暗和平靜⋯⋯10Please respect copyright.PENANAMIBrooWcdm
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這種日子過沒多久,掃羅的心情漸漸平伏了。就算他多麼內疚,感覺自己的罪孽如何深重,時間還是沖淡了一切。10Please respect copyright.PENANA2CKtyvevPr
掃羅想一直繼續自責下去,希望這自責能成為自己的苦行,彌補一下自己深重的罪孽。10Please respect copyright.PENANAxNBAOY5idM
但他卻連沉醉在自責當中也無能為力。但這種感受卻如流沙般在溜走,不消幾天,他再也無法感到內疚。10Please respect copyright.PENANAXsuZkBk16N
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他也覺得自己實在可悲。但更迫切的卻是痕癢難當的沉悶。10Please respect copyright.PENANAjnl1eq2oXI
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終於,他再受不了這種困在房間的日子。「與其自責落去,對世界一啲貢獻都無,我不如去做啲嘢。至少,令個世界好啲,可能我嘅罪責都少啲呢⋯⋯」10Please respect copyright.PENANAk3PeI7ukOb
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於是,他終於離開了房間。有時,他會去打理一下驢棚,給驢群餵食。有時,他去打理一下庭園。過了一陣子,他覺得自己能做更多,於是便往父親基士處詢問自己到底能做甚麼更有意義的工作。10Please respect copyright.PENANAlrU8tar5jg
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「好啊。我而家咁啱需要人幫手。」基士興高采烈的道。「仔,前幾日僕人去驢棚點算,發現少咗幾隻驢。但我又唔知應該去邊度搵。如果被人偷咗,我都唔知去邊度搵。我又唔知可以請邊個領袖幫手。你啊爸我不嬲都唔係好留心呢啲小數目,但小數怕長計嘛。所以如果啊仔你可以幫我去搵就最好。你又強壯又叻,阿爸對你有信心。」基士拍拍掃羅的肩膀,哈哈大笑著。10Please respect copyright.PENANArVFITaE8R5
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基士說著,掃羅漸漸有點不知所措。的確,這個是千載難逢的機會。他好久沒有接受過如此的挑戰,讓他能對家庭做出一點貢獻。但,以色列地大物博,他不知該從何找起?要是找不到,他豈非又讓自己在眾人面前出醜嗎?10Please respect copyright.PENANABbRrxYpX9W
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「阿仔,你同亞設一齊去搵。佢應該知道嗰幾隻驢去咗邊。去啦,盡力就得㗎喇。」基士說完,未等掃羅回應便匆匆離去了。10Please respect copyright.PENANAeRcgYfoZAG
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「唔好擔心,你會完成任務。我會為你安排。」掃羅不知這是從何而來的聲音,但他卻覺得這話讓他心裡有著奇妙的平安。10Please respect copyright.PENANA86u7sazlu2
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