62Please respect copyright.PENANAVYiCSj5xbX
62Please respect copyright.PENANAvsqfkNwscB
62Please respect copyright.PENANAoY16jgKG3U
62Please respect copyright.PENANAIQmtHscVbw
62Please respect copyright.PENANAP9P2JAohb9
62Please respect copyright.PENANAjK1w4ROPpG
62Please respect copyright.PENANAmW28YrSBQa
62Please respect copyright.PENANASS0oG8TSTs
To the boy who broke my heart.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAbf3ytpH5JK
Also to me, for getting through it.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAvfjQty8c0v
62Please respect copyright.PENANAywFgbhalo7
62Please respect copyright.PENANA9mtVqdiVx1
62Please respect copyright.PENANA6YYxamrnhe
62Please respect copyright.PENANACGogdqS1N6
62Please respect copyright.PENANAGYJq7GGz3o
62Please respect copyright.PENANAiXQKBb7lZX
62Please respect copyright.PENANAvRofTiiftj
62Please respect copyright.PENANAkkHdr6rqyV
62Please respect copyright.PENANAv8jSDyH6Ih
62Please respect copyright.PENANAQX1Ss8mNvA
62Please respect copyright.PENANAQf0gP6SHVG
62Please respect copyright.PENANAmaPYeUQ1Vp
62Please respect copyright.PENANAZv4mtAyU60
62Please respect copyright.PENANAwmThgXTkpp
62Please respect copyright.PENANACEM3uvw6GT
62Please respect copyright.PENANAGytqNKPA3e
62Please respect copyright.PENANApNx9bLwU0N
62Please respect copyright.PENANAzoxUZ9SkRE
62Please respect copyright.PENANARsLrbQoKqd
62Please respect copyright.PENANAickJ92TGTd
62Please respect copyright.PENANAaBGKgFuTnF
62Please respect copyright.PENANAggv5A1hF0D
62Please respect copyright.PENANAsmQQ3No3xI
62Please respect copyright.PENANAm6lYj9Pkvt
62Please respect copyright.PENANAOxeQz5KYRY
62Please respect copyright.PENANA8RumLGUqsY
62Please respect copyright.PENANAQwUbwLHkDK
62Please respect copyright.PENANA8W0YwAYzHx
62Please respect copyright.PENANA2YibQtSCck
62Please respect copyright.PENANAHifLsqr0qP
62Please respect copyright.PENANAgEzeIitc8w
5/16/25
62Please respect copyright.PENANAk3IhKOlp8j
R,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAuDExVFufQO
This does feel a bit stupid, to write letters you’ll never read. But it also feels right.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAIjgcTQawXh
I’m the one who ended things.
I’m the one crying like it’s the end of the world.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAc8ecHQ3bld
I think it’s very interesting I broke up with you on the 14th –9 months to the day of when we first met. I feel like maybe there’s some sort of symbolism in that, but I’m not sure.
Our birthdays add up to 2024, and we met in 2024, so I’ve always thought of that as symbolic.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAmPp6EQllaX
Anyway, I guess I want to tell you that I never wanted to hurt you. You tried so hard to love me. It was so special. For me to break up with you feels like prying something out of my heart and tossing it out my window while on the highway.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAh3g4bVbaOv
I think I had to end things though.
Like some things would make my stomach turn. Like how I’ll never know what happened in the car between you and Anna. Or the bird gift. You were so genuine sounding, and yet it was a blatant lie. Or the fact that I had to justify every single mistake you made. I don’t even do that for myself.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAXNSRIPRraP
These things don’t make you a bad person.
It just means you have some work to do on your own.
62Please respect copyright.PENANA6mvifb2Ert
Last night, I wore your hoodie again to sleep. It was actually really nice. It still smells like you lol. I was worried that it would make me feel worse, but it made me feel better. I was honoring the love we shared, and I was still able to be true to myself. I guess it also felt like you were forgiving me for what I had to do.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAnK8NaHUt0S
The main reason I hurt today is because I don’t want to move on without you. Like I think of fall classes starting and the gaps in our classes that we coordinated just being empty. We were supposed to be together during our breaks. I guess now I’ll have time to work and stuff, but seeing those gaps between my classes hurt a bit more than I expected. And then imagining fall being over and spring happening.
Like then I’ll coordinate my schedule by myself. And that makes me sad too because when I was with you it felt like I had the world in my hands, and now I don’t even have your hand in mine.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAY1JBBN0nVK
And yet despite all of this, I know I made the right choice.
I think sometimes the “right thing” hurts more.
62Please respect copyright.PENANASYI3LL6CWj
I really really really really hope you can find happiness. I pray to God that you’ll be okay—and be happy.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAhxyZTJSkH6
Right now, I’m thinking about that date we had at Sprouts. Where it was raining and we couldn’t open that gelato, and you accidentally told me you loved me. And I drove home, and you called, and I sat in the driveway, watching the rain run down my windshield, and the wipers going crazy, and I accidentally told you I loved you too. And we both screamed (out of fun), and I ended the call shortly after.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAcGWuqPSVME
I remember stepping out of the car and getting soaking wet and the FleetWood Mac line came to me — “when the rain washes you clean, you’ll know”. I thought I knew then. I thought maybe we’d last forever.
It really felt like we would.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAmRmQxnalDg
I think maybe, if you were the man I thought I fell for, it would’ve been forever.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAtS90WTJgoY
It’s okay that you have work to do.
I’ve got work to do too.
62Please respect copyright.PENANA1UvdZUcsej
I’ve decided to put all of my trust in God.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAisLn3RnSrL
And maybe that “I love you” was on purpose.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAg5vPPnCfql
Thinking of you always,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAnqtDKKJ1fL
V
62Please respect copyright.PENANAu8D0zVckja
62Please respect copyright.PENANARR3Q71eQan
62Please respect copyright.PENANAclIQexHh1F
62Please respect copyright.PENANAegghw1StWM
62Please respect copyright.PENANAc47HGzQIE2
62Please respect copyright.PENANAjChigZlUIx
62Please respect copyright.PENANAUzOuAmwdNI
62Please respect copyright.PENANAdRYbLyr7H9
62Please respect copyright.PENANAYiTIXk7zWG
62Please respect copyright.PENANAhLfQHc4Q8M
62Please respect copyright.PENANAsjMusL5sWU
5/17/25
62Please respect copyright.PENANA4oCSEAdzdk
R,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAha3oZSHV2q
Well, we’ve officially decided not to contact the other for a bit. Even at the end it was sweet and loving and a little bit funny.
62Please respect copyright.PENANADPrBtXH1Uo
Neither of us wanted to leave the other on read. So, I came up with the idea of sending a dot, and you could leave that on read.
62Please respect copyright.PENANADHloo10mAn
I sent the dot. It was at 11:11. You said “11:11 how wonderful” and I said “yeah, for real” and sent another dot. So like, we officially ended things at 11:11. Which is absolutely symbolic.
62Please respect copyright.PENANALDmuMWRBzI
I thought I would feel better today, but now I’m crying all over again.
Whatever this was—it was as close to love as I’ve ever felt.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAQfRHd9WdKX
I know there were problems. I know exactly why I ended things. I don’t regret it. I hope we can find our way back to each other. Or maybe I can find love that feels like this (without the “stabby feelings” as you called it).
62Please respect copyright.PENANAfv4dIYpbmB
For now, I’ll keep writing you letters in the notes app of my phone. Maybe I’ll get to show them to you one day.
62Please respect copyright.PENANA8Re2nIwAtU
For now, I’ll keep praying for you. I really hope you can choose to be the man I fell in love with.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAQiI1a5wxIX
I told you I’d see you at the next Nexus event (that’s what you call crossover events lol). I really hope I get to see you again.
62Please respect copyright.PENANA4tiNMZaXQC
I think we ended things with hope. And yeah, it hurts. But that’s the best way for things to end.
62Please respect copyright.PENANASX3t8qkhxq
The root of why things had to end:
62Please respect copyright.PENANAaOWAnWisbP
We were perfect for each other on the surface. But as we started to get deeper into things (like senior design projects, and money, and investments, and the future), I realized that we wanted different things.
You wanted more of a pleasurable life. You wanted things to be easier than they actually were. (I fall into that trap, too. I’m not blaming you for it, and I have a lot of work to get myself out of it.)
I want a more fulfilling life. I want someone who will make that hard work more bearable. Not someone who I feel like I need to drag along.
62Please respect copyright.PENANABXKGzxkbKM
I think that’s where things went wrong.
62Please respect copyright.PENANA2c2Wxy3dh9
And it’s okay. You and I can become more secure with ourselves. Maybe we’ll be right for each other then.
Or maybe you’ll meet a girl who will knock you off your feet. And maybe she’ll like golf and Star Wars (because we both know I don’t).
62Please respect copyright.PENANAbOtmBcJiCJ
There are two ways that I can be happy with this.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAS0ItpcKzyt
- You and I meet a year or so from now and we have changed for the better and live happily ever after
- I’m in an amazing relationship and I run into you and you’re in an amazing relationship and we can be proud of each other
62Please respect copyright.PENANAQjeU6ZNN3t
I also wouldn’t mind running into you in the fall semester and we start over as friends.
62Please respect copyright.PENANA3w3ha4DKvV
I’m very proud of us. I think we handled this part genuinely and wonderfully. I hope we can handle the next part just as genuinely and wonderfully.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAHoDExq4uwb
Rooting for you always,
62Please respect copyright.PENANANZXxd35kbw
V
62Please respect copyright.PENANAyibokb3Jx8
62Please respect copyright.PENANARyC7vS4vhh
62Please respect copyright.PENANA9MovpVSnUY
62Please respect copyright.PENANAHozwadhkcG
62Please respect copyright.PENANAod7bkeVk6G
62Please respect copyright.PENANA2XHAuuUsHh
62Please respect copyright.PENANAjnQp4w8NxK
62Please respect copyright.PENANAP4DZBcAGeH
62Please respect copyright.PENANATr2h5irwMI
62Please respect copyright.PENANAGdBzkiHddU
62Please respect copyright.PENANAMw67LVBEtQ
62Please respect copyright.PENANAehcJTIHTmW
62Please respect copyright.PENANAjsTCtsxBUi
62Please respect copyright.PENANA6Yvzp2vTjq
62Please respect copyright.PENANAfnoIdGKC7u
62Please respect copyright.PENANANkPKdRmD37
5/18/24
62Please respect copyright.PENANAxMiNlBFTBs
R,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAHwYwYkyNX9
For the third night in a row, I slept in your hoodie. It’s less about me missing you and more about me feeling less lonely. I know you’re thinking about me too.
62Please respect copyright.PENANALdT6B1nsxv
I haven’t brought myself to drink the tea you bought me or even make myself a matcha. Idk why but it’s just another reminder of how you tried to care for me.
I absolutely will not throw it away though. I’ll just wait until this feeling fades and maybe when I drink it it’ll feel honorable instead of like a betrayal.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAc6bcvYHkK6
My mind keeps going back to the last time I saw you. We were both crying. I was wearing sunglasses, and you told me to take them off. I did.
I said, “yeah, I’m crying too.”
I think I said it a little harsher than I meant.
I put the sunglasses back on after that.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAHNMLZOcxx2
It was brave of you to cry in front of me. Even when I was crying behind sunglasses.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAsEXPFe700d
I want you to know that my decision was mine 100% alone. I did not talk to a single person until after I did what I did. I didn’t even tell anyone about what I did until after that game night with my friends.
So, for almost two hours I got to feel this churning through my body.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAsEVp4bkP22
Writing all this out makes me feel a little bit guilty because I wish I treated you gentler. I wish I could’ve done whatever was right in that moment. I don’t think I did everything wrong, but it wasn’t perfect.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAcXguWZqtF9
I hope you know I’m thinking about you too. I hope if/when we do reconnect, we are better people. I hope the next woman you meet will be more wonderful than me. I hope she’s actually the one for you.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAKbBIkvmdSF
I’m realizing that “emptiness” I’m feeling in my chest is actually peace. I’m no longer whispering into the dark “I should break up with him. I should not break up with him,” trying to see which one felt more “right” in my gut. I’m no longer picturing another situation where you might lie, or where you might act immature when you shouldn’t. I’m no longer imagining us getting married, and having kids, and having a routine, only to realize that if that happened, you’d have to change a lot.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAoL8mBrtmhc
I’d like to state this again: the joy you’ve given me is nothing compared to this pain.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAyBp0XaBvJz
You did a wonderful job loving me. I had the time of my life. I’d do the last 9 months with you again and again and again. Even though it would have to end like this.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAW6xxOeL6hK
If am I the one for you, I hope God will bring us back together when the time is right. If I am not the one for you, I hope God will open our hearts to the people who actually are.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAIKSaHZySlT
Hoping for our betterment always,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAuIHU63uV1D
V
62Please respect copyright.PENANA5LbYY1NBVe
62Please respect copyright.PENANAs2wtfyOlYy
62Please respect copyright.PENANAf3QFVLG1U1
62Please respect copyright.PENANAo6qPhQBq7r
62Please respect copyright.PENANAD0VtgjKDUS
62Please respect copyright.PENANAloK5jW1kuS
62Please respect copyright.PENANAROahpNuZPp
62Please respect copyright.PENANAaMC7tkKgw5
62Please respect copyright.PENANA5JbD9bnDUF
62Please respect copyright.PENANAw8RSsXamyX
62Please respect copyright.PENANAvyGQN1D8qx
62Please respect copyright.PENANADopJSS0SE0
62Please respect copyright.PENANAIlOrunKNV7
62Please respect copyright.PENANAVuNNpKGVMf
62Please respect copyright.PENANAsHsKqgEdKz
62Please respect copyright.PENANA0k70Ep4t19
62Please respect copyright.PENANAXdqTLw1Jdt
62Please respect copyright.PENANAJiJe1FYXvF
62Please respect copyright.PENANAueUlULjoID
62Please respect copyright.PENANAJkyUnfnCxQ
62Please respect copyright.PENANA50sIoE5nrM
62Please respect copyright.PENANASYcZGH0PWA
62Please respect copyright.PENANAIoCx31c706
62Please respect copyright.PENANAeNE3RATAkg
62Please respect copyright.PENANAIamrVHUrNq
62Please respect copyright.PENANAm5PYemODAw
62Please respect copyright.PENANApPb8fuatSc
62Please respect copyright.PENANAV6U8BO7yJj
5/19/25
62Please respect copyright.PENANA2O3K4J7y7O
R,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAQMDLfdZKEM
Today I learned that you were writing me letters too. Is that crazy or what?😭
62Please respect copyright.PENANAdv5RQ44hrV
I’m glad we got to text today. I was a bit worried it would make me miss you and hurt all over again. But it was great. You told me about some of the cool things you’ve been up to, and I got to tell you a bit about mine. In a way, we gave each other permission to move on. It was refreshing. I didn’t feel like I was betraying something when I tried to take steps forward.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAgtt9NcIjgY
It’s 6:06 right now, and I’ve not cried at all today. Which means this would be the first day I haven’t cried since I ended things with you.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAHZ1XDzoksm
In the Huberman Podcast, he mentions that there is a neuron for every single face that you can recognize. I’m honored to have a neuron dedicated to your face. I’m honored to have the hundreds (maybe more?) of neurons dedicated to our memories. It means I can completely move on and still have pieces of me belong to you.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAYkK8whoP1J
I hope you can continue to grow. You’re taking some cool steps in the right direction, now I guess it’s about sticking to them. I’m not too worried about it because I’ve put my trust in God over this.
62Please respect copyright.PENANACqIs4oVXrg
Maybe we’ll meet again and fall in love again and the foundation will be steady. Or maybe not. As long as we’re both happy.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAh8m4IVWdTF
62Please respect copyright.PENANAXdKe6RkU0d
Holding you in my mind always,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAtRRTTMngiN
V
62Please respect copyright.PENANAVv2M1qEClx
62Please respect copyright.PENANA50x3QQayon
62Please respect copyright.PENANALdbPvqCJ5o
62Please respect copyright.PENANAuzDmPn5Etd
62Please respect copyright.PENANApSncc0Laky
62Please respect copyright.PENANAbkLU7OKIGg
62Please respect copyright.PENANAtyZNd4nltF
62Please respect copyright.PENANAXX6uXkd6oL
62Please respect copyright.PENANAZm6QzEgOGs
5/20/25
62Please respect copyright.PENANA7g2ZPneHbe
R,
62Please respect copyright.PENANALoxNSL8q76
All of the crazy emotions are past me now 😭
I don’t feel so sad about us anymore. I feel excited for the next few semesters. I hope you’re feeling the same way.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAjOXrBrcrv5
I still wear your hoodie to sleep. I’m not sure why I still do this, but it is quite comfortable, and I have a feeling I’ll be doing this for a while.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAPqJDAhQ46I
Soon, I’ll eat the gelato that we were supposed to share. I’ll share it with my family, and I’ll try to relish in the sweetness of it instead of the ending of it.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAkQtwmdSgkc
Soon, I’ll drink the tea you bought me. When I run out, I’ll buy more, because through you, I found something I like.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAVqqFXPXsyU
I’ll write you letters still, even though they might not be every day.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAtpeVm2XCv5
I’m thinking about you right now, and chances are, you’re thinking about me.
I think that’s absolutely beautiful. I’ve got someone who wishes the best for me. You have someone who wishes the best for you.
62Please respect copyright.PENANALz1Q2yt7hX
I think that’s as good as it gets.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAb6dwzX9jo5
Praying for you always,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAWR0Twwlovg
V
62Please respect copyright.PENANA6F0lgYGjlm
62Please respect copyright.PENANAYZ6914lW5n
62Please respect copyright.PENANAEl243TrYi3
62Please respect copyright.PENANAoxShA2XOdt
62Please respect copyright.PENANA3NAYl5ScBr
62Please respect copyright.PENANAd5ddOqFLYb
62Please respect copyright.PENANAgMedwc45Xr
62Please respect copyright.PENANAwlXMEhHV10
62Please respect copyright.PENANACyro2L4HEf
62Please respect copyright.PENANAxyf70R8JlZ
62Please respect copyright.PENANAHxiI8JdoGL
62Please respect copyright.PENANA6QXNMOaIaV
62Please respect copyright.PENANAha6kJFE3QZ
62Please respect copyright.PENANAZlMkRWSU3d
5/21/25
62Please respect copyright.PENANAYwNW5YJYZE
R,
62Please respect copyright.PENANA3VmjXfWlzq
Today, I was desperately looking for an aux chord when, in the crack between my computer shelf, I found that dried flower.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAJbN0tUTnIJ
You know, the flower you saw on the way to the gym.
You picked it, and you gave it to my sister to give to me.
I remember I smiled like an idiot.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAEMR2ddc0Ng
And now I’m staring at the flower, feeling something like depressed acceptance in my chest, my face, my hands.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAZMocyUTrvA
And now it’s in the box where I put everything else. The journal. The letters. The necklace. The tiny stuffed panda.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAvJXyvo0jAw
You’re not the person I wanted you to be. You’re not the person you wanted yourself to be.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAQbwP6eSn3v
So, it must be like this.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAYlgdRJYmOp
62Please respect copyright.PENANAKjBSzD578h
Reminded of you always,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAH7dgQNKJBK
V
62Please respect copyright.PENANAH26tIxGldJ
62Please respect copyright.PENANAsCMrffOovt
62Please respect copyright.PENANAe1DdntQAv4
62Please respect copyright.PENANAarHluRcmHb
62Please respect copyright.PENANA9aAJeQrpPe
62Please respect copyright.PENANAQSIDvdcHrs
62Please respect copyright.PENANAEhT1pctTsu
62Please respect copyright.PENANAbwDX0V73Ud
62Please respect copyright.PENANAuCL02iw9HD
62Please respect copyright.PENANATKXiaRBfG6
62Please respect copyright.PENANAGGY5kLfz6q
62Please respect copyright.PENANAbKZsVLZk5r
62Please respect copyright.PENANA9wNsLJr5T4
62Please respect copyright.PENANAV3Z2ul7mOr
62Please respect copyright.PENANAwe0iarvPfG
62Please respect copyright.PENANAJ91Rjpfcsw
5/25/25
62Please respect copyright.PENANABJKXh5UFki
R,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAaE1qFvQaQZ
It’s been a few days. I don’t wear your hoodie to sleep anymore. I don’t incessantly think about you anymore. It doesn’t bother me so much anymore.
62Please respect copyright.PENANA1PREaggvWD
Part of me wants to publish everything I wrote here. Don’t worry, I’ll change the names and stuff so we can all keep our privacy. I’ll still keep the reasons I had to end things, though. Maybe, if you ever see it, you’ll hate me for doing that.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAuBx4L2qlkz
If you hate me, so be it. I think capitalizing off of my feelings is a good way to process them and reclaim them as my own.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAYyyur9codt
If you don’t hate me, then that’s kinda cool of you.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAHCId2zCYGf
I guess we’ll see.
62Please respect copyright.PENANA3RXWFlc4LM
I do hope you’re doing well. I hope you haven’t fallen back into your old habits. Not because I want you back, but because I want you to be better. There’s a difference.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAZ8Bim5qSnK
62Please respect copyright.PENANAxwxuqRddZF
Writing about you (but not always),
62Please respect copyright.PENANAAyIbrwaJcp
V
62Please respect copyright.PENANAK55kCDpFlD
62Please respect copyright.PENANAuT7R9Tb3c2
62Please respect copyright.PENANAxzw2inocUV
62Please respect copyright.PENANA2DAjwnpWb6
62Please respect copyright.PENANAQXrSrshaA9
62Please respect copyright.PENANAXzNUwUKoUM
62Please respect copyright.PENANA0P02PHpSzQ
62Please respect copyright.PENANApwVMsge31p
62Please respect copyright.PENANAfyRt0Vqkw8
62Please respect copyright.PENANAi8Tltq39X7
62Please respect copyright.PENANABcl0RrXzrW
62Please respect copyright.PENANAQdx6GugyDH
62Please respect copyright.PENANAGf9Fj0VNv8
62Please respect copyright.PENANAiUjUsGoYOR
62Please respect copyright.PENANADminba8bQD
62Please respect copyright.PENANAObmHUNGxHe
5/27/25
62Please respect copyright.PENANAhYYxmqY8Jl
R,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAJaCSDJFth1
Today on your YouTube Music account (yes I was stalking you—sue me) I saw your new playlist. The one called “slow burn”. The one that says “distraction = regression ≠ progression”.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAJfPl2uLMp3
It’s so you. Your nerdy, intense way of writing things out. I still remember all the plans you’d scribble in the back of your notebooks.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAgoQ4jm3TwB
I miss that part of you.
I hope that part of you is as nerdy and as intense as ever :)
62Please respect copyright.PENANArbPMkmGyCS
I hope the other parts—the ones that felt like they needed to hide, or pretend to be something else—I hope those parts are becoming more authentic.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAq6aKlwaawZ
You deserve to be what you wish you were.
I deserve to look into the eyes of someone and know their soul is what they say it is.
62Please respect copyright.PENANA1yiKfcYGMt
I’m sorry I can’t be the person to see all your faults and love you still.
But really, I don’t think you loved yourself with all your faults. I think you tried to hide from them.
62Please respect copyright.PENANABZ1f5REir2
Maybe, the absence of my love for you will allow you to discover your own love for yourself.
62Please respect copyright.PENANABuegbqoe0B
Wishing the best for you always,
62Please respect copyright.PENANA5IEq81zn1B
V
62Please respect copyright.PENANAkBKLzog1X9
62Please respect copyright.PENANAkuc0sdL1aH
62Please respect copyright.PENANA4JVlejlPUs
62Please respect copyright.PENANAN4RuY0ElbO
62Please respect copyright.PENANAasxBthpj4u
62Please respect copyright.PENANAQsvAbI5mi8
62Please respect copyright.PENANAgDyX34uDda
62Please respect copyright.PENANAQRX13gmd9F
62Please respect copyright.PENANAeY7NiRFpDo
62Please respect copyright.PENANAZg6TrWYGJq
62Please respect copyright.PENANAMQJtInTWvQ
5/29/25
62Please respect copyright.PENANAnQvFT7NdTD
R,
62Please respect copyright.PENANA1zz8FFkYlN
I pretended I forgot your name today.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAt4cipQp8f4
I was at a club meeting, and a girl from my marketing class mentioned you.
She said, “I see you walking with this guy a lot. He comes here too sometimes.”
Of course, I knew it was you. I said, “Oh?”
And she mentioned how you knew Marie, and I went “Ooooooh R. Yeah!” Like you weren’t the most important thing two weeks ago.
62Please respect copyright.PENANANXH2M1VWll
I didn’t really feel sad. I felt just a bit awkward. How do you navigate heavy things during small talk?
62Please respect copyright.PENANAn3Vb3MAjTK
I still don’t feel sad. Not even now. Actually, part of me wonders if you and Marie had something going on together. She always needed your help and was always calling you. I guess I’ll never know—and that’s the sad truth about loving someone who can’t be honest.
It doesn’t matter anyway.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAvkFCqhCDMv
I hope you’re doing well. I don’t really think we’re gonna get back together. Like I’m thinking that caution will always be there for me. I’m learning slowly to not expect my standards from others. Just because I uphold them doesn’t mean other people will.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAAKECJPlpyb
Again. I hope you’re doing well. I really do.
Learning from you always,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAdwSfbu0aNF
V
62Please respect copyright.PENANA7kfr65Y6jJ
62Please respect copyright.PENANAdtqhCz9Cww
62Please respect copyright.PENANAzi5lQJ4guQ
62Please respect copyright.PENANAxXpBITRzyn
62Please respect copyright.PENANAVFtL0b1U4j
62Please respect copyright.PENANAy0mb41UyM3
62Please respect copyright.PENANAULfmtUOmby
62Please respect copyright.PENANAbrFwsXYU43
62Please respect copyright.PENANAOuhkKrr6vx
62Please respect copyright.PENANAbXPmojdZw6
5/30/25
62Please respect copyright.PENANAG40RU1nk8Z
R,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAj7ASwcmYAm
Today I cried about you again for the first time in more than a week.
It was only like 3 tears, so maybe it doesn’t count. I’m gonna say that it doesn’t count. (It counts).
It was so unexpected and honestly kind of annoying. I was just starting to get back into a rhythm again.
62Please respect copyright.PENANA1rDRrILcck
But I got home after a fun and hard workday, and I didn’t know who to tell my day to. I mean yes. I’ve got my parents, but they aren’t the exact fit for the hole in my chest.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAEdUnDsRAX9
I don’t miss you. R. I don’t miss you.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAvt8kyQ3KUK
I miss what I thought we had. I miss thinking I found the person who saw life the same way I did. I miss feeling like we were in this together. Like we were gonna put in the work and build an amazing life.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAXVh68eCJAJ
Be real with me. That was never gonna happen.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAaEpHvwnpd7
So, I’ll do it by myself.
62Please respect copyright.PENANALKjIof3EG2
Not as fun tbh.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAmYkO7utd83
Wishing you were that good always,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAy92XooVyjg
V
62Please respect copyright.PENANAVPa9z4ISyy
62Please respect copyright.PENANAtTOJFKrWwU
62Please respect copyright.PENANAhZibEq5ef3
62Please respect copyright.PENANAqHoe6keaUX
62Please respect copyright.PENANAhMOQuRHjm5
62Please respect copyright.PENANAVzQ1ZqYVQT
62Please respect copyright.PENANASUnbezDrfQ
62Please respect copyright.PENANAI33AW7g3kS
62Please respect copyright.PENANAYeOSksKM9m
62Please respect copyright.PENANAbd3dWdBTTx
62Please respect copyright.PENANAfWw7lmhwn6
62Please respect copyright.PENANAtnlCgnBpO0
62Please respect copyright.PENANAXQIuziEx7R
6/01/25
62Please respect copyright.PENANAZU80BVy6hN
R,
62Please respect copyright.PENANApUkck5cC8T
Last night I had this dream.
I dreamt I was on a study abroad trip. And I was on a bus late at night and I saw you. It was strange because I remember that you and I both agreed that study abroad trips were a waste of time.
But there you were. Right in front of me. The lights were white and florescent.
In my dream, I reached my hand out and ran my fingers through your hair. You had grown it out a little longer than usual.
Reaching out like that was second nature to me. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until you lightly (but firmly) grabbed my wrist with your thumb and middle finger. You guided my arm back to where it naturally hung by my side.
You looked sad that you had to do this. But you also looked resolute.
I remember thinking, “Oh. We don’t have that dynamic anymore. And it’s because I ended things.”
This entire dream was silent.
62Please respect copyright.PENANACb4VHDCQKD
I’m brought back to the night I broke up with you. When I told my sister and my parents and they understood why I ended things. I mean, your story wasn’t adding up. It seemed too complex. I didn’t want to have to navigate through another lie.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAkFTg4tOsLf
I remember I cried so hard and was clenching my jaw so much, that my entire head pounded. I could feel that pressure behind my eye sockets. I could feel it radiating up the sides of my head.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAP9F4F3DFuV
I don’t ache like that anymore. But sometimes I get reminded of those moments.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAtIoLh99RmC
Here’s the thing: I’m sick of being reminded of the hurt.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAcFYegIydKn
I’m sick of reaching for that necklace you gave me only to realize it’s around my neck anymore.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAoABllhptO2
I’m sick of trying to send an image and your contact popping up. Because I used to send almost every picture I took to you.
62Please respect copyright.PENANASlB1AHGu44
I’m sick of coming home after work and realizing I don’t get to tell you about my day.
I’m sick of trying to pretend it’s all my fault. When it was actually yours.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAIqHeGEKwZL
I’m sick of not hating you for it.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAE5ACTumPKA
But I could never hate you for it. I have too many good memories with you. That will counteract any hatred I feel.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAbP4U36jlqc
Sick of the pain (but not the memories) always,
62Please respect copyright.PENANABKgPP6q9zU
V
62Please respect copyright.PENANAVuJge34SeI
62Please respect copyright.PENANAAgpjJ1sPOc
62Please respect copyright.PENANAZMcXv8grdQ
62Please respect copyright.PENANAELwYbQAbDs
62Please respect copyright.PENANAjGMG1i2Ook
62Please respect copyright.PENANAC3vu2K2WZR
62Please respect copyright.PENANAFCQsPvAIJD
62Please respect copyright.PENANAyV12PVFfKk
62Please respect copyright.PENANAubAzPGFwmn
62Please respect copyright.PENANAGgyikm2E1i
62Please respect copyright.PENANATfZdX0zAmX
62Please respect copyright.PENANAxpOEwdVXEx
62Please respect copyright.PENANAtSQoOMEDUO
62Please respect copyright.PENANAgaftGVEJId
62Please respect copyright.PENANA1PMwswpD86
62Please respect copyright.PENANAVekIOwUSNX
62Please respect copyright.PENANAHBLKOlXduG
62Please respect copyright.PENANAewiNZdklOJ
62Please respect copyright.PENANAKxy3S6U89c
62Please respect copyright.PENANAX7F4mKTgpz
62Please respect copyright.PENANAe5WhM3RCMq
62Please respect copyright.PENANAsGSxRGl2Vg
62Please respect copyright.PENANAy3IBMePvxC
62Please respect copyright.PENANA7TUlytIp5P
62Please respect copyright.PENANAKzdnqROb10
62Please respect copyright.PENANACzzcyFsbzJ
62Please respect copyright.PENANAycxMxM3qiP
62Please respect copyright.PENANAGFqsskjqYR
62Please respect copyright.PENANAaZY4hm178u
62Please respect copyright.PENANADAfqRiu6Gr
62Please respect copyright.PENANA4Lz0HiLlJU
62Please respect copyright.PENANAh7ii00t6DY
6/2/25
62Please respect copyright.PENANASP4yHAnJ54
R,
62Please respect copyright.PENANA0kKQXjJcf5
Last night, the song Forever Young by Rod Stewart played. Something about that song changed the way I felt about us.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAkAO6Y1CyF6
You and I. That was young love. That was stupid little jokes, and breathless promises in the rain, and nervous glances.
62Please respect copyright.PENANALYcviJHJxJ
I think real love is like that, while also going so much deeper.
Real love will have grit. And will have a passion to build the lives we want to build. One hard step at a time. It won’t be beautiful. It will be dedicated.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAqmiR5hIK2F
I’m so glad things ended when they did. Because in a way, I got to preserve that. I didn’t let the love rot and decay.
The morning I broke up with you, we were running, and I hugged you and I squeezed you tight just before I let go. Then later, things turned sideways, and things ended, and that was that.
It didn’t rot and decay. It was beautiful and then it was smoke.
62Please respect copyright.PENANA1W67QVmPGo
When I remember us, I’ll remember us sweetly. I’ll remember you as my first love.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAaJrAcskUus
I’ve always imagined Forever Young as the song that plays when I dance with my dad at my wedding.
All he wants for me is to be true and happy. All I want for myself is to be true and happy.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAPZSpQx32sB
And one day I will get married, and I’ll dance with my dad, and that song will play, and I’ll be true and happy. That’s gonna happen if I marry you, or if it’s someone else. I’m gonna be happy no matter what.
You will always be part of my story no matter what.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAttR6XZvAAQ
You are gonna be happy no matter what. I know things might be hard for you right now. I know you might feel like you’ve just lost something incredibly important.
And you did, and at the same time, you gained something incredibly important.
62Please respect copyright.PENANATKttvBlnh9
You gained time to shape yourself into who you want to be.
62Please respect copyright.PENANA5GZMzWwX5z
I feel genuinely at peace with this. And when I feel sad, I’ll listen to that song again. As a reminder.
It’s my Dad’s message to me. And it’s also my own message to myself.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAKiExGqAINU
Dedicated to myself always,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAXpvzFMWrC9
V
62Please respect copyright.PENANAFKn0B2RKU1
62Please respect copyright.PENANAdPH2izs4mg
62Please respect copyright.PENANAcIzOieFI8W
62Please respect copyright.PENANAcbOxHjfFYD
62Please respect copyright.PENANAid99d8XmnO
62Please respect copyright.PENANAoxrw46IP9s
62Please respect copyright.PENANATtJtQxv9Qz
62Please respect copyright.PENANAZZIG2BJV8p
62Please respect copyright.PENANAfpA1gStV9W
62Please respect copyright.PENANAJ4hN8ygqGu
62Please respect copyright.PENANAkiVfJRRCFP
62Please respect copyright.PENANAKixFV0fND0
62Please respect copyright.PENANACw3qJjcaOY
62Please respect copyright.PENANA2muFga906N
62Please respect copyright.PENANAkhmPtHrxhN
62Please respect copyright.PENANAvwOKg5Me9n
62Please respect copyright.PENANAGO9vVIQZ4D
62Please respect copyright.PENANAEPQj94Oh0n
62Please respect copyright.PENANATSQH37FCkX
62Please respect copyright.PENANA2AyRJtuxd7
62Please respect copyright.PENANATkpLPrkmUJ
62Please respect copyright.PENANAIbOhvTDkxZ
62Please respect copyright.PENANAqPviRmb0YH
62Please respect copyright.PENANABaBvfzuM6b
62Please respect copyright.PENANAkEbVbtCdjF
62Please respect copyright.PENANApvm1LG5zr8
62Please respect copyright.PENANAwRRluN4F41
62Please respect copyright.PENANAN35TZZZHIb
62Please respect copyright.PENANAS1Wu1qPSrQ
62Please respect copyright.PENANAv0UUjQW0m4
62Please respect copyright.PENANAU7WS06qWNS
62Please respect copyright.PENANARspQjpR9kK
62Please respect copyright.PENANA8nocYGPE3c
62Please respect copyright.PENANA7xTtx7nZXX
62Please respect copyright.PENANAHzMnA8Iver
6/6/25
62Please respect copyright.PENANAbxwNMKcwlM
R,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAOfOUd8MNU7
Today I ate that gelato with my family. You know, the one we planned to share.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAJAKMubbXdd
I was worried I was gonna feel sad, but I didn’t.
It tasted really good. My sister made a joke about me making a playlist titled “that ice cream was good, though”, because we both knew you’d see it.
I laughed and made no plans to make that playlist.
In fact, I made my breakup playlists all private so you couldn’t see them anymore. Now it’s just my old regular playlists that are public.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAUkGZvZeCBN
I left your text on read. Mainly because there was no way to reply to “Mhm”, and also because I didn’t want to entertain a half-hearted connection anymore.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAVfHJ98caCv
My friend checked in on me after a few weeks and I told him I was over you.
62Please respect copyright.PENANACZXWeT2mPe
I don’t think I’m completely over you, but I think I’m close.
I don’t feel sad, or annoyed, or petty, or nostalgic.
We were. Now we’re not.
62Please respect copyright.PENANA0Tin18Ow6v
I’m excited to meet the next guy I’ll fall in love with.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAH1fBHQLPX9
Moving forward always,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAuqRO9JoTkb
V
62Please respect copyright.PENANAPUz71lE4yx
62Please respect copyright.PENANAQtkBTIF62U
62Please respect copyright.PENANANKruWYgY4H
62Please respect copyright.PENANAmJPx9PzQbB
62Please respect copyright.PENANAMoCgyHhpmk
62Please respect copyright.PENANAtln5J9a4al
62Please respect copyright.PENANA5PD8INjXhl
62Please respect copyright.PENANAvaByVi9zvl
62Please respect copyright.PENANAJzdZBQvu1J
62Please respect copyright.PENANAxXOHy4d4bU
62Please respect copyright.PENANAYZVFIoJPov
62Please respect copyright.PENANATwiZ4YUgLs
62Please respect copyright.PENANAVzRUxZIlBk
62Please respect copyright.PENANAniRuyictRq
6/8/25
62Please respect copyright.PENANASA7wtIOusZ
R,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAbUqhJWXBUo
I’m proud to say that now there’s 14 letters in here. We met on August 14th. We ended things on May 14th.
No, it wasn’t an accident. I wrote 14 letters to you on purpose.
But everything else was on purpose, too. Me, walking up to you during game night and asking if I could play whatever you were playing.
62Please respect copyright.PENANASFyG3P476a
Me tearing out that breakup letter, and it ripped. And I tapped it back together while trying to steady my breath.
Me, handing it to you. Telling you, “I’m so sorry. I really am.”
62Please respect copyright.PENANAZv9kLoi0JM
It was on purpose.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAZqtMIPrEB9
This is my last letter to you. I actually have a different draft that I wrote a week ago. It’s very mushy and dramatic and I think I’ll leave it in the notes app lol
62Please respect copyright.PENANApM62WucCnC
I will say one semi-mushy thing though: you healed the lonely parts of me.
I was a dual enrollment student (and I also homeschooled), and I got to explore much of campus and the places around it alone. I remember feeling that loneliness all over me like a heavy sweater I couldn’t take off. And then you came along, and I got to run around with you. I covered my lonely memories with loving memories.
62Please respect copyright.PENANA0Zw2RADmr6
I’m not going back to being lonely. Now I’m gonna have that same sense of adventure but with myself.
Because it wasn’t you that made me adventurous and weird and funny—it was me.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAhNgdteSREL
You helped to uncover that part of me.
Thanks.
I’ll take it from here.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAMFbRhTCvbH
Actually, I have more to thank you for.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAxgFc5tKB1k
Thank you for being the first boy to want to call me.
Thank you for being the first boy to plan the future with me.
Thank you for being the first boy to proudly hold my hand.
Thank you for being the first boy to love me.
Thank you for being the first boy to break my heart.
62Please respect copyright.PENANAas2oB0MJVL
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
62Please respect copyright.PENANA3iiZMgoBJv
You’re in my story always,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAksh138oIR4
V
62Please respect copyright.PENANAQ1yE6I3gXm