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Lena sat beside me in class today.18Please respect copyright.PENANA4Nn6LqPFkv
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She leaned over and asked, “You okay?”
I said, “Yeah, just tired.”18Please respect copyright.PENANA5kwO3ipdin
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She smiled like that was enough.18Please respect copyright.PENANAsGI0zIxXA5
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I smiled back — the kind you practice in mirrors so nobody asks twice.
It worked. It always does.
Later, Eli dropped something in the group chat. A plan. Movies, drinks, the usual Saturday noise.18Please respect copyright.PENANAbkuODrhb71
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Everyone reacted. I gave it a thumbs up, muted the chat, and closed the app like it burned to hold it.
I don’t hate people. I just hate feeling like I don’t exist around them.18Please respect copyright.PENANAMmujadRaGF
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Even when I’m there, fully present, it still feels like I’m watching my life from behind glass.
I listen to people laugh and wonder what it feels like to actually mean it.18Please respect copyright.PENANA2pVZcIMB9Q
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I speak when I have to. I show up when it matters.18Please respect copyright.PENANAkebbWn2cMH
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But everything I say feels like I’m lip-syncing someone else’s life.
It’s not that I want anyone to chase me.18Please respect copyright.PENANAOjHY8dEqe8
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I just want someone to notice that I’m drifting.18Please respect copyright.PENANAIIRDollNJx
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Someone to stop smiling and actually look me in the eyes and say,
18Please respect copyright.PENANAXiUUp5tF7T“Something’s wrong. Don’t lie to me.”18Please respect copyright.PENANA6yQ8mLmp95
But no one ever does.18Please respect copyright.PENANA7y3rSWETok
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They believe the smile. They always believe the smile.
And I don’t blame them.18Please respect copyright.PENANARkImXYAzWu
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I’ve made it easy.
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I left my journal open on purpose this time.18Please respect copyright.PENANALPPli6731y
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Page bookmarked.18Please respect copyright.PENANAbHDzysKY2P
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Highlighting one line I hoped someone would read:
18Please respect copyright.PENANAOPLvxySEHj“If you’re reading this, I don’t want to disappear quietly.”18Please respect copyright.PENANAhYOSDaqMvZ
I didn’t lock my room when I left.18Please respect copyright.PENANAzLyTPkBQqg
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I just want to see who actually comes looking.
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Thank you for reading. If this felt real to you, follow for the issue 3— I’m just getting start
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Issue 3 drops in [like “2 days”]
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