x
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Lena sat beside me in class today.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Nn6LqPFkv
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She leaned over and asked, “You okay?”
I said, “Yeah, just tired.”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kwO3ipdin
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She smiled like that was enough.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGI0zIxXA5
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I smiled back — the kind you practice in mirrors so nobody asks twice.
It worked. It always does.
Later, Eli dropped something in the group chat. A plan. Movies, drinks, the usual Saturday noise.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkuODrhb71
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Everyone reacted. I gave it a thumbs up, muted the chat, and closed the app like it burned to hold it.
I don’t hate people. I just hate feeling like I don’t exist around them.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmujadRaGF
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Even when I’m there, fully present, it still feels like I’m watching my life from behind glass.
I listen to people laugh and wonder what it feels like to actually mean it.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pVZcIMB9Q
18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhulMP3vTb
I speak when I have to. I show up when it matters.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkebbWn2cMH
18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjb8j3LEGHS
But everything I say feels like I’m lip-syncing someone else’s life.
It’s not that I want anyone to chase me.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjHY8dEqe8
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I just want someone to notice that I’m drifting.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIRDollNJx
18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwfY8mTWdo
Someone to stop smiling and actually look me in the eyes and say,
18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiUUp5tF7T“Something’s wrong. Don’t lie to me.”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yQ8mLmp95
But no one ever does.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7y3rSWETok
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They believe the smile. They always believe the smile.
And I don’t blame them.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkImXYAzWu
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I’ve made it easy.
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I left my journal open on purpose this time.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPPli6731y
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Page bookmarked.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHDzysKY2P
18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpO2RFBTIV4
Highlighting one line I hoped someone would read:
18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPLvxySEHj“If you’re reading this, I don’t want to disappear quietly.”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYOSDaqMvZ
I didn’t lock my room when I left.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLyTPkBQqg
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I just want to see who actually comes looking.
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Thank you for reading. If this felt real to you, follow for the issue 3— I’m just getting start
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Issue 3 drops in [like “2 days”]
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