Chapter 5
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Monday - July 26th
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When I woke up, I was certain I'd dreamed last night until I saw the bandage on my finger. I wanted to turn to David, but he wasn't lying next to me.
In a panic, I felt over the cool sheets, but couldn't even feel his warmth anymore. I jumped out of bed, staggered, and ripped my dressing gown off the hook by the door. An ugly ripping sound pierced the silence as I tore off the black satin hanger. My heart was pounding in my throat, and it was as if a hot wire had wrapped itself around my chest, squeaking shut behind me. My footsteps were muffled by the thick carpet, and every now and then one of the old wooden floorboards creaked.
Where was he? Where the hell!
I was just dragging myself to the stairs when the door to his father's old study opened. The only room we'd left untouched so far. My heart stopped. What did that mean?
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David came out. Deep circles under his eyes, his hair sticking out in all directions, as if he'd been tearing it out half the night. His lower lip looked like he'd been chewing on it. When he saw me, a faint smile crept onto his lips. "Awake too?" I glared at him angrily. "What do you mean! You gave me a damn fright!"
He took a deep breath, and a sparkle came into his green eyes. "Like you couldn't sleep without me. Hanni, you're being a bit dramatic right now. Although I have to admit, it's sweet!"
"David, that's not funny! Not after yesterday!"
His smile vanished. It was as if someone had flipped a switch. Even the sparkle in his green eyes dimmed. His chest rose noticeably as he spread his arms and looked at me again with the same calm and unreadable gaze as last night. "Come here."
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My heart racing, I threw myself into his arms. He smelled of dust, old books, and coffee. Lots of coffee. I buried my nose deep in the crook of his neck and simply tried to slowly catch my breath.
"Everything will be okay." His voice was just a ragged whisper, but I just couldn't believe him! I felt like a little child whose father had lied to me about Santa Claus. He would never have stayed awake this late if everything were okay. But I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that these elections wouldn't change anything. Nothing at all. That we could continue living in this idyllic world. That no one would have to be afraid and everything could continue as before. There was just this little voice in my head, howling loudly and urging me to stay alert.
"Do you know anything else?"
David shook his head. "Nobody knows anything yet. I just did some research. They won't be able to achieve their goals. They lack the lobby for that, no matter which coalition they're in."
I breathed a sigh of relief. "Where did you get this information?”
"The usual portals. PW, Web of Science, Springer Nature, and so on."
I wouldn't be surprised if Dad hadn't had a hand in this. They probably spent half the night sending emails back and forth full of technical jargon, theories, articles, and who knows what else. Normally, that would upset me, but today it was incredibly reassuring. They were on the same page, had probably already drawn up plans for an emergency, and I shouldn't worry about it.
I swallowed the uncertainty as best I could. "Okay. Should I feed Nila and Hassan alone?" I just had to get on with my daily routine, otherwise my head would explode.
"No." He pushed me away. "Everything's fine. We're doing everything as usual. Hanni, nothing's happened yet. Stop worrying." He winked at me and gently ran his index finger down my cheek. "It'll be okay!"
"It'll be okay!" As he turned away from me, his shoulders slumped and a gray veil settled over his face. The sinking feeling in my stomach remained.
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It was still there when we entered the stable at 6:30 a.m. Hassan also looked tired, yet he was smiling, even as the morning sun shimmered behind a soft pink hue. The air felt fresh and clean in his lungs.
"Good morning!" he called, whistling as he pushed the feed cart past us into the stable aisle. The tires sounded soft on the gray concrete floor, and the horses craned their necks eagerly over the stall doors toward him.
"Morning," I replied, and ran straight to the blackboard at the stable entrance.
In Oleg's handwriting, there were not only the feed rations, but also the pasture compositions; in David's handwriting, slightly offset behind, was the current training schedule for all the show jumpers, and in mine, the schedule for the dressage horses. It was reassuring to see that nothing had changed here yet.
Nila stopped next to me. Her eyes were red and puffy. "Morning," she said with a nasal undertone, sniffing. "I'll get right to spreading the hay. Sorry I'm late.”
I looked up at the clock above the stable door. She wasn't five minutes late. Carefully, I raised a hand to her shoulder and squeezed it. "Everything's fine, Nila. Last night was a slap in the face for all of us." I tried to smile, but it just wouldn't work.
"How... How's your hand?"
"Not bad. Just a small cut." As if to confirm it, I raised my hand and wiggled the injured finger. "How did you sleep?"
The corners of her mouth twitched. "Good... Well... uh... not really."
"Then you can team up with David." I sighed.
Immediately, something glowed in her eyes. Hopefully, her gaze flickered to David, who was already raking hay from a bale and distributing it to the horses. "Does he know more?"
I shook my head and let go of her shoulder. I took a shaky breath and repeated the mantra that had haunted me since yesterday. "Everything will be fine!"
Nila absentmindedly repeated the mantra.
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I was already looking around for David again. Our eyes met. He didn't have to say anything! There was this subtle flicker of doubt in his eyes. But before I could react and regress to my panic mode, Oleg rumbled into the stable.
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Adjusting his blue coat, he stopped next to me and Nila. "Good morning, ladies." Mischief flashed in his small gray eyes. "Miss Hanni." He gave me a stiff bow. "The horses don't take themselves to the pastures."
I tilted my head and met his cheeky grin. "They're still eating. Give them a moment for their breakfast."
"Nor did Pola!" He waved a hand and then laughed loudly. He nudged me on the shoulder in a friendly manner. "We're putting them out towards the forest today. Will you delicate plants manage?"
Nila gasped indignantly. "What do you mean, delicate little plant! I beat Hassan at arm wrestling the other day!"
Oleg winked at her and then ran into the stable aisle. He greeted Hassan with a nod and then stopped next to David, who immediately stopped what he was doing. They spoke quietly. Their expressions were closed, and David looked around for me.
The lump in my throat instantly disappeared.
Hassan, who was feeding a large black horse right next to them, suddenly slumped and turned to them with wide-open eyes.
What was going on?
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